Life is But a Rainbow Dream: 0.0 (Nov. 13th)

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Slide 1:

Life is But a Rainbow Dream 0.0 – More Graphics, Less Creativity

Slide 2:

Well, hello there! That was way too chipper for my usual greetings, but I’m happy about this new laptop. My sims actually have FACES OMG. I’ve currently played to the second generation, so this is going to be a kicker of a first part. I’ll make it entertaining. Anyway, this is Cherry Dream. Very generic name for a rainbow legacy, but I get more bonkers later. Not a lot of funny things that are red, or appropriate, anyway. She is an Environmentalist, she’s Insane…shit, I have to open my game to see her stats…Clumsy, Over-Emotional, and a Dog Person. Yes, I have Pets! Tis amazing. If you can see very well, you can make out the pony next door. But, I want to start with smaller pets.

Slide 3:

This is Ethryo . That is a medical term prefix meaning “red”. Told you, these names are shorthanded. That’s why I started with red. I can’t remember her stats for everything because…well, you’ll see later. No spoilers! I think she was shy and aggressive, something like that.

Slide 4:

PONY!! This is a close of the horse in the first shot. Very realistic-looking, with sweet graphics. You can train to ride them and all. But, Cherry doesn’t have a house, so a horse would be silly. “May I ask why you’re the on the side of the highway with a horse?” Would cause all sorts of commotion in the real world. Unless you’re in India. That horse is probably your grandma… *absent-minded rambling* What was I saying?

Slide 5:

Obligatory shot of the crappy starter house. Yay, poverty!

Slide 6:

Not a lot, but we’ll manage. Aw, but poverty looks so nice in high definition graphics.

Slide 7:

OMG IT’S THE SIMS 2 ROBOT MAKER BRICK THINGY MCBOB *pounces* Honestly, this thing became Cherry’s first friend.

Slide 8:

Cherry entertains herself by playing Tug of War with Ethryo . ACK THE COUCH IS NOT RED *fix*

Slide 9:

And she takes Ethryo for a walk. In heels. Alright-y then.

Slide 10:

Oh, perverted mind is perverted. That pool does not look like a bone to me. Cherry: “Looks like a bon—” No, no. I think they can match the pun to the penis. *not subtle*

Slide 11:

Read that gnomes can breed now. So, guys. Who’s the sheep and who’s the herder? Gnomes: “We’re both male.” So, what’s stopping you? Gnomes: “That is looked down upon in our society.” Oh, so you’re bigots? Gnomes: “Pretty much, Satan-sucking whore.” D=<

Slide 12:

Don’t think Ethryo was amused. Gnome: “She’s barking at the mailman. Slut.” You know you have a Chew option in your pie menu, right? Gnome: “Uh…uh, look at my sign! It’s a heart around an animal!” Look at my hand, one finger isn’t going down.

Slide 13:

Mailman: “ALL I WANT IS TO DELIVER MAIL AND MARRY LEGACY SIMS!!” Well, I don’t want your bills! Piss off! Good girl, Ethryo .

Slide 14:

OMG ICE CREAM TRUCK *straddles* Cherry: “Please don’t defile the truck. That’s uncouth for a lady.” Great, English elegance. Cherry: “Well, you seem to be having relationships with your computer, and that is sinfully disgraceful.” I will slap the English out of your ass if you keep on.

Slide 15:

Oh, m’adore ! Le freezer bunny est tres belle! Cherry: “Your French is horrible.” Suce-moi .

Slide 16:

Aww …it’s so— Cherry: “I must get more face time in this part…quit mounting the game like a wild boar!” One, I do not mount, I conquer. Two, you sim , me player. Me got kill power. You got bunny pop. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID. Cherry: “ Meep !” Win.

Slide 17:

Aw, a doggy hug. “Listen, faithful Growlithe . We must escape.” Her insanity’s varied into delusions of Pokemon and brick molesting. You’ll see.

Slide 18:

Here, I adopt Hemogoblin . That is a part of the blood. Read a medical book. He’s going to be the stud for some pups.

Slide 19:

They bonded swimmingly. And Hemo likes rocks.

Slide 20:

That’s so true, dogs will eat everything. While a sim cooks food, they drop morsels and cats and dogs can eat them up. Hemo : “ Heheh , eat them up. HARHARHAR.” Great, pervert dog…he just wants a bitch. HAHAHAHAHAno . That was horrible.

Slide 21:

WHAT. THE. HELL. That was not there just moments ago. That is weird. And then I sold it for 1000 bucks. Gift from sim god?

Slide 22:

“I just had Woohoo … And it felt so good… She let me put my whoonlenoosle inside of her.” Woonlenoosle ? Hemo : “Tis the sim word for man parts.” Human man parts? Hemo : “They wish they could have what I have…” (dog talk about penis, that’s what it’s come to. UGH THAT WAS A TERRIBLE SENTENCE)

Slide 23:

Oh, that’s so true of human love-making. The woman looking put out while the man sleeps. Hemo really loves rocks.

Slide 24:

Ethy’s pregnant! It’s not really noticeable. Hemo : “The ole swimmers work their magic once more.” Can we please depart from this topic? Damn hormones…

Slide 25:

Dogs can hunt for stuff, like gems and rocks! Ethryo was finding chip bags and snake skins. Must be a lot of huge obese snakes underground. *jokes are still bad, shut up*

Slide 26:

This is the most relaxed image of labor I have ever witnessed. Come on! Howl! Rip off a man’s arm! Hemo : “Why a man’s?” You pork, you pay the price, peon. Hemo : “Pus—” No, I hate that word. Hemo : “Vagina? That breaks the ‘p’ roll… Heh , pee roll…” I find no difference in male dogs and actual men. *feminist*

Slide 27:

D’awww … “Where’s Scooby Doo and the gang?” You’re a husky, not a dane . Good try, though.

Slide 28:

So cute.

Slide 29:

Hey, Mr. Sun. Mr. Sun: “*like, heats the world and everything and causes global warming*” Right, nice talk.

Slide 30:

Jolly fun, watching you walk Hemo around. We will now look for probable man-meat. Sim -meat.

Slide 31:

*make hose joke here*

Slide 32:

*make handcuff joke here*

Slide 33:

This guy went by Cherry with a look that screamed, “I want to, but I’m afraid she might hurt me.” That, sadly, is the look I get at school. Of course, my man-beating club doesn’t help matters much. Or my cocaine addiction. *COUGH MOVE ON BEFORE I’M ARRESTED*

Slide 34:

Cherry: “Is there a discount for big-busted women? You don’t look like you would get it.” Nice schmoozing, Cherry.

Slide 35:

Then, Ethryo gave birth to three puppies. Cherry did the only sensible thing…

Slide 36:

“ Wobbledy wobble, wo - wo -wobble, wobbin ’ Ass so fat, all these bitches’ p******* is throbbin ’ Bad bitches, I’m your leader, Phantom by the meter Somebody point me to the best ass-eater Tell ' im " P**** clean!" I tell them " P**** squeaky !" N**** give me brain ’cause all of them n**** geeky If he got a mandingo , then I buy him a dashiki And bust this p**** open in the islands of Waikikiiiiii …” Horrible song by Big Sean and Nicki Minaj . Just for reference, it’s called “A$$”.

Slide 37:

I had to rid of some of the puppies, because Cherry is just so busy working. *rolls eyes*

Slide 38:

For the record, I can’t remember the puppies names, because I gave most of them up. I’m the worst sim pet owner. And I have three cats in real life, go figure.

Slide 39:

HOLY SHIT Did Voldemort screw a Magicarp ? Jesus Christ…

Slide 40:

WHAT ARE THESE THINGS. DO THEY BELONG TO SIM GOVERNMENT. AHHHH.

Slide 41:

XD This is how my cat, Toby, eats. Nice one, Eaxis .

Slide 42:

Cherry began hopping jobs because I hated the Firefighter career. Can’t fire just be asexual and put itself out? HAHAHA…that wasn’t funny. Also, flamingo mob. It looks like they planning to attack Cherry.

Slide 43:

Then the game froze. For ten minutes. I got worried. Computer, you have 6GBs of RAM, what more do you want, my first born child? By the time I have kids, there will be a Sims 500. Anyway, it did unfreeze so I could save and unload my mods. Must be awesomemod . It tended to crash my game everytime I changed something in the options.

Slide 44:

One of the dog lifetime rewards is this bed. Sims got a lifetime reward Hover Bed. I haven’t checked that out yet. I might go to another sim’s house and cheat so I can see what it does.

Slide 45:

OMG snap me back to watch a Young Adult dog grow up to look exactly the same, please game, I beg you… Ethryo looks the same! Yay!

Slide 46:

Asdfghjkl ; WHAT. Freaking me out, game. Honestly, PATCH. Please, PATCH.

Slide 47:

*I see statue dogs* CREEPY.

Slide 48:

DOGS. You have miles of grass outside, and you have to piss on 500 dollar carpet. Just like real life.

Slide 49:

Ethryo still hates the mailman. Woman. I think those are breasts. Good doggy.

Slide 50:

Fuckin ’ beach doesn’t allow llamas. We are so moving.

Slide 51:

Cherry plays piano by the penis pool hoping to get some friends, kind of like the guitar gimmick.

Slide 52:

OKAY. START BREATHING AGAIN. *inhales* I just snapped back to the house when I saw the Burglar notification. Normally, the burglar doesn’t scare me, but she was LOOKING RIGHT AT ME when I came back to the house.

Slide 53:

Cherry: “NO! I do not want to be friends with a sim just to get information about some fucking mouthwash!” She’s going to be awesome through her midlife crisis.

Slide 54:

Well, Appoloosia , however the hell you spell it, was fun. But I miss the city life!

Slide 55:

WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT . We just MOVED HERE, you CRETIN. Bitch.

Slide 56:

Those breasts are probably filled with heroin. BODY PACKING WHORE.

Slide 57:

THE BITCH STOLE THE DAMN TOILET. I’m fucking outranged by this goddamn fucking nonsense of bullshittery . Rated R. Eighteen, bitches. Hahahahaha .

Slide 58:

No, Cherry…this guy is a whore.

Slide 59:

No, seriously, I have tried. This guy dumped his last girlfriend, refused our “Confess Attraction” thingy, and then he shacked up with someone named Kirby. KIRBY IS A CUTE LITTLE BALL OF VIDEO GAME HISTORY, YOU PEDOPHILES AT EAXIS. How dare you.

Slide 60:

William: “I sense some other power vanting my man-meat.”

Slide 61:

Who is this guy? Well, find out next time. No, it is not Edward “I Sparkle Like a Goddamn Fairy” Cullen.

Slide 62:

Well, hello there! That was way too chipper for my usual greetings, but I’m happy about this new laptop. My sims actually have FACES OMG. I’ve currently played to the second generation, so this is going to be a kicker of a first part. I’ll make it entertaining. Anyway, this is Cherry Dream. Very generic for a rainbow legacy, but I get more bonkers later. Not a lot of funny things that are red, or appropriate, anyway. She is an Environmentalist, she’s Insane,

Slide 63:

Well, hello there! That was way too chipper for my usual greetings, but I’m happy about this new laptop. My sims actually have FACES OMG. I’ve currently played to the second generation, so this is going to be a kicker of a first part. I’ll make it entertaining. Anyway, this is Cherry Dream. Very generic for a rainbow legacy, but I get more bonkers later. Not a lot of funny things that are red, or appropriate, anyway. She is an Environmentalist, she’s Insane,

Slide 64:

Well, hello there! That was way too chipper for my usual greetings, but I’m happy about this new laptop. My sims actually have FACES OMG. I’ve currently played to the second generation, so this is going to be a kicker of a first part. I’ll make it entertaining. Anyway, this is Cherry Dream. Very generic for a rainbow legacy, but I get more bonkers later. Not a lot of funny things that are red, or appropriate, anyway. She is an Environmentalist, she’s Insane,

Slide 65:

Well, hello there! That was way too chipper for my usual greetings, but I’m happy about this new laptop. My sims actually have FACES OMG. I’ve currently played to the second generation, so this is going to be a kicker of a first part. I’ll make it entertaining. Anyway, this is Cherry Dream. Very generic for a rainbow legacy, but I get more bonkers later. Not a lot of funny things that are red, or appropriate, anyway. She is an Environmentalist, she’s Insane,

Slide 66:

Well, hello there! That was way too chipper for my usual greetings, but I’m happy about this new laptop. My sims actually have FACES OMG. I’ve currently played to the second generation, so this is going to be a kicker of a first part. I’ll make it entertaining. Anyway, this is Cherry Dream. Very generic for a rainbow legacy, but I get more bonkers later. Not a lot of funny things that are red, or appropriate, anyway. She is an Environmentalist, she’s Insane,

Slide 67:

Well, hello there! That was way too chipper for my usual greetings, but I’m happy about this new laptop. My sims actually have FACES OMG. I’ve currently played to the second generation, so this is going to be a kicker of a first part. I’ll make it entertaining. Anyway, this is Cherry Dream. Very generic for a rainbow legacy, but I get more bonkers later. Not a lot of funny things that are red, or appropriate, anyway. She is an Environmentalist, she’s Insane,

Slide 68:

Well, hello there! That was way too chipper for my usual greetings, but I’m happy about this new laptop. My sims actually have FACES OMG. I’ve currently played to the second generation, so this is going to be a kicker of a first part. I’ll make it entertaining. Anyway, this is Cherry Dream. Very generic for a rainbow legacy, but I get more bonkers later. Not a lot of funny things that are red, or appropriate, anyway. She is an Environmentalist, she’s Insane,

Slide 69:

Well, hello there! That was way too chipper for my usual greetings, but I’m happy about this new laptop. My sims actually have FACES OMG. I’ve currently played to the second generation, so this is going to be a kicker of a first part. I’ll make it entertaining. Anyway, this is Cherry Dream. Very generic for a rainbow legacy, but I get more bonkers later. Not a lot of funny things that are red, or appropriate, anyway. She is an Environmentalist, she’s Insane,

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