One Liners to Survive a Single Day of Teaching

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Category: Education
     
 

Presentation Description

So you don't eat a bowful of your own hair.

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By: madhurisrivastav (103 month(s) ago)

nice

Presentation Transcript

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One Liners To Survive A Single Day Of Teaching

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Good morning.

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I will begin when I feel supported by your silence.

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Thank you for arranging your schedules

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to spend some time with me today.

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I feel guilty taking money to teach this class.

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I’m really glad you asked that question.

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You know, I hate to make rules here

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i n a place of wonder and red velvet

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but certain bad apples have forced my hand.

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What are we doing today?

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We’re going to learn a lot.

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You’re going to teach me

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s ome newfangled handshake

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and a lot about who you are.

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Did you say frickin ’ ? Do you know what frickin ’ means?

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It means fucking .

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We’re in a public building

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and I have been asked to uphold a few standards.

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Are you aware of your audience?

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Am I driving you over the edge?

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We haven’t gone far.

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I can be a good babysitter or a pretty good teacher.

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You choose.

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There’s an assigned seat for each of you

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on this interactive tour through the corridors of history.

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Some of you aren’t showing up.

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I think it’s time for a break.

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If you see Tyler, tell him I miss him

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and his colorful, divergent commentary.

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Welcome back.

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If you’ve helped already, you aren’t allowed to help anymore.

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Are those Little Debbie nutty bars?

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I love Little Debbie!

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These will make a great snack.

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Is this worth points?

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Am I going to collect this?

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I haven’t decided yet.

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I wonder if you care about your grade

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more than the topic you’re studying.

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I want to honor you

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and your ability to keep commitments.

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I’m here to hold you accountable

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not judge you.

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I don’t get in the business of judging excuses.

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I understand.

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I struggle with this too.

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Thinking about it gives me anxiety.

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This is right for a mediocre student.

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Stop pretending to be one.

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It means what?

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Hoe- ish tendencies?

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Let’s think about word choice

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and what we can learn.

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Let’s relax for a few minutes.

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Stand up and walk around.

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School is an awful lot of sitting

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especially if you’re a student.

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Your gesturing is distracting to me.

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Visit with me.

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It’s a good thing I like you

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enough to treat you the same as everybody else.

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This phone cost two hundred dollars?

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I can’t believe you would pay so much.

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Hand it over

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and learn a priceless lesson.

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I don’t play musical chairs.

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You can choose to behave where you’re at.

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I’m aware of the time.

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The bell is a reminder to me

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I should probably let you go

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within the next few minutes.

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School is a privilege and an opportunity

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and this packing up early is a problem.

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I bet you can solve it

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while the DJ

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you need my help?

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Helping you is part of my job description.

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I really love my job.

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You are excused.

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magicalteaching.com

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c r e d i t s original music Gibson Starkweather Elliot Pa one-liners Derek Smith, observing at Peninsula High School, 2002-03 sounds of learning 2 nd , 3 rd , 4 th , and 6 th period Freshman English students, 2006-07

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