May 15th

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASHLEY! :):

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASHLEY! :)

You’re fucking 16 which means you get to drive around and look like a badass. *Insert heart eyes here.*:

You’re fucking 16 which means you get to drive around and look like a badass. *Insert heart eyes here.*

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And then when your song comes on the radio and you look like this…

Or this…:

Or this…

And then when you drive and I’m with you I can stare at you. *more heart eyes here*:

And then when you drive and I’m with you I can stare at you. *more heart eyes here* EYES ON THE ROAD MOTHERFUCKER Maybe I should drive.

Who are we kidding though, if I’m driving and you’re next to me I’ll fucking look like this the entire time.:

Who are we kidding though, if I’m driving and you’re next to me I’ll fucking look like this the entire time.

ANYWAYS BACK TO THE WONDERFUL EVENT THAT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:

ANYWAYS BACK TO THE WONDERFUL EVENT THAT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I calculated our age differences and compared it with Larry’s and fuck yeah we win. (Obviously.):

So I calculated our age differences and compared it with Larry’s and fuck yeah we win. (Obviously.) Larry: 770 days 2 years, 1 month, 8 days Madley: 882 days 2 years, 5 months Sadly I don’t have a picture of us. :( ONE DAY THOUGH.

Another fun fact, we were both born on Fridays. (Soulmates I swear.):

Another fun fact, we were both born on Fridays. (Soulmates I swear.)

May 15th is obviously the best day ever because it’s your birthday and if I was president I would make it a national holiday. Everyone would get the day off to have lots of gay sex and watch the Cardinals. :

May 15 th is obviously the best day ever because it’s your birthday and if I was president I would make it a national holiday. Everyone would get the day off to have lots of gay sex and watch the Cardinals. This is Yadi yelling at someone who didn’t wish you a happy birthday. 

Other lowly people who have the privilege of being born on the same day as you include::

Other lowly people who have the privilege of being born on the same day as you include: Andy Murray Birdy Ray Lewis also shares your birthday but I hate him so he doesn’t get a picture. &

Some other events that have taken place on May 15th in the past include::

Some other events that have taken place on May 15 th in the past include: 1940 – Nylon stockings went on sale for the first time in the U.S. (Maybe I’ll wear some for you sometime ;) 1602 – Cape Cod was discovered. (It looks nice, we should go. Plus you in a swimsuit gahhhh ;) 1618 – Johannes Kepler discovered the Third Law of Planetary Motion. (Don’t fucking ask me I don’t understand it either but it’s a big deal so fuck it yolo it’s on here.)

But of course the most important thing that happened on May 15th was that you were born!:

But of course the most important thing that happened on May 15 th was that you were born!

LOOK AT YOU OMFG. YOU ADORABLE LITTLE FUCK. I WILL NEVER BE OVER THAT PICTURE.:

LOOK AT YOU OMFG. YOU ADORABLE LITTLE FUCK. I WILL NEVER BE OVER THAT PICTURE. (I want to see all of your other baby pictures someday too because fucking adorable.)

And because I love you and it’s your birthday here’s me as a baby. God dammit.:

And because I love you and it’s your birthday here’s me as a baby. God dammit.

MOVING ON:

MOVING ON

Since we’re celebrating birth enjoy One Direction with babies. :

Since we’re celebrating birth enjoy One Direction with babies.

BUT OMG IT’S YOUR FUCKING BIRTHDAY AND THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY:

BUT OMG IT’S YOUR FUCKING BIRTHDAY AND THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY

CHEERS TO YOU MOTHERFUCKER:

CHEERS TO YOU MOTHERFUCKER

Don’t get mad about all these gifs. I JUST REALLY LOVE YOU AND YOUR BIRTHDAY.:

Don’t get mad about all these gifs. I JUST REALLY LOVE YOU AND YOUR BIRTHDAY.

I’m going to throw you the best parties when we’re together. :):

I’m going to throw you the best parties when we’re together. :)

And you’ll probably look like this the whole time you bastard. :

And you’ll probably look like this the whole time you bastard.

But there’s something else you get on your birthday besides cake and confetti that you will like.:

But there’s something else you get on your birthday besides cake and confetti that you will like.

UNLIMITED KISSES:

UNLIMITED KISSES  Look familiar :D I mean you get that every day but shush.

And of course birthday sex…;):

And of course birthday sex…;)

And in between all the birthday sex we could cuddle and watch The Lion King.:

And in between all the birthday sex we could cuddle and watch The Lion King.

Or take a bath together. (I’d wash your hair for you of course.) :

Or take a bath together. (I’d wash your hair for you of course.)

Or just cuddle so I can whisper all the things I love about you in your ear. :) (That can be your cat btw. If she still loves you after the makeup incident and being kicked off your bed. ;):

Or just cuddle so I can whisper all the things I love about you in your ear. :) (That can be your cat btw. If she still loves you after the makeup incident and being kicked off your bed. ;)

And while we’re cuddling maybe I can sneak some neck kisses in there too. :

And while we’re cuddling maybe I can sneak some neck kisses in there too.

I’m just so excited about your birthday babe! I hope it’s going good so far and I’m sorry this is kind of lame but it’s fucking hard when I can’t be with you to take you out for dinner and kiss you and give you presents and other cheesy birthday shit that I am totally gonna do once we’re together. :) I love you so much Ashie-pie and I hope your birthday is going amazingly so far. :

I’m just so excited about your birthday babe! I hope it’s going good so far and I’m sorry this is kind of lame but it’s fucking hard when I can’t be with you to take you out for dinner and kiss you and give you presents and other cheesy birthday shit that I am totally gonna do once we’re together. :) I love you so much Ashie-pie and I hope your birthday is going amazingly so far.

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Happy Birthday my darling girl. I love you so much. :)

One more time because you’re so cuteeeeee. :) :

One more time because you’re so cuteeeeee . :)

Okay I’m done. :) I love you so much and I hope you have a fucking fantastic day because you deserve it babe. :) :

Okay I’m done. :) I love you so much and I hope you have a fucking fantastic day because you deserve it babe. :)

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