Raising a Muslim Child - Kuwait

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Raising a Muslim Child:

Raising a Muslim Child Challenges & Solutions

The purpose of all education is to awaken the conscience.:

The purpose of all education is to awaken the conscience.

Our Criteria:

Our Criteria For decision making

Our actions define us:

Our actions define us Hujuraat 49: 13. O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honourable of you with Allah is the one who has  the greatest Taqwa   [the concern to please Allah]. Verily , Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware. The best one is the one whose actions are best

Criterion for the Best:

Criterion for the Best A’al Imraan 3:110 You are the best of people selected for the benefit of the people The Prophet ﷺ said, “The best of people is the one who is the most beneficial to the people.”

Spread Peace:

Spread Peace The Prophet ﷺ said: O! you people, spread peace, feed people, be kind to your relatives and pray at night when others are asleep, and you will enter Jannah (Paradise) safely. [ Tirmidi , Ibn Majah ] Because only actions deliver results

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.:

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. “Cowardice asks the question - Is it safe? Expediency asks the question - Is it politic? Vanity asks the question - Is it popular? But conscience asks the question - Is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular….. But one must take it because it is right .

Teach values:

Teach values Because values drive behavior And behavior drives results

Basis of Islamic education:

Based on two principles: Responsibility for what you hold in trust Accountability to One from whom nothing is hidden Our global problems today are not due to lack of resources but lack of accountability Basis of Islamic education The cure for that is faith

Responsibility :

Accepting responsibility for others, adds value to us. After all that is what we seek all through our careers Enables us to rise above our base desires and invokes the best in us Is the only way we have to leave a legacy of honor Responsibility It takes courage to accept responsibility


To the One who we represent – and to Whom is our return To the One who will reward those who fulfill their duty To the One from Whom nothing is hidden Accountability WiiFM is a station everyone listens to

Children are an investment:

Children are an investment Abu Hurairah    narrated: Rasoolullah    said, “When a man dies, his good deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge, and righteous offspring who will pray for him . ”   (Muslim ) What are your metrics for your investment?


Exercise Think of your role model – someone you know personally For how many of you is it a parent? If your children were here and I asked them this question, would they be thinking of you? You are a role model anyway But you can decide what kind

Children listen with their eyes:

Children listen with their eyes They don’t care what you say until they see what you do

Our Beings:

Our Beings Are not our bodies alone but perhaps more importantly our spirits Our spirit needs nourishment and sustenance like our body does Education must address both aspects What do we want to achieve and what are our metrics to measure success?

Do you say?:

Do you say? ‘I will never allow my children to face the hardship that I had to go through .’ Instead, say, “I will never allow my children to build resilience, character, and strength. I will never allow them to have the power that I have to succeed .” Only adversity builds strength

Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon. ~ E.M. Forster:

Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon. ~ E.M. Forster

Don’t confuse:

Don’t confuse Parents must remember that their children can have many friends but they have only two parents. Parents have been assigned the role of parenting. Every other role is optional. Parenting with being friendly


Exercise What boundaries do you set for your children and why? How do they help and how do you know that they are helping? Please discuss and report out about changes you need to make. Please work in groups of eight (8)

Bring the Qur’an alive:

Bring the Qur’an alive Integrated teaching

Qur’anic method:

إِنَّ فِي خَلْقِ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالأَرْضِ وَاخْتِلاَفِ اللَّيْلِ وَالنَّهَارِ لآيَاتٍ لِّأُوْلِي الألْبَابِ الَّذِينَ يَذْكُرُونَ اللّهَ قِيَامًا وَقُعُودًا وَعَلَىَ جُنُوبِهِمْ وَيَتَفَكَّرُونَ فِي خَلْقِ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالأَرْضِ رَبَّنَا مَا خَلَقْتَ هَذا بَاطِلاً سُبْحَانَكَ فَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ Qur’anic method Allah  said وَيَتَفَكَّرُون

Qur’anic method:

Qur’anic method A’al Imraan 3:190. Verily! In the creation of the heavens and the earth, and in the alternation of night and day, there are indeed signs for people of understanding. 191 . Those who remember Allah (always, and in prayers) standing, sitting, and lying down on their sides, AND think deeply about the creation of the heavens and the earth, (saying): “Our Rabb! You have not created (all) this without purpose, glory to You! (Exalted are You above all that they associate with You as partners). Give us salvation from the torment of the Fire .” Allah  used AND

Why this method?:

Why this method? Islam recognizes that all knowledge is from Allah ﷻ and that the purpose of Islamic education is to connect the people to Allah ﷻ .   So there’s no disconnect between Islam and science and modern education Provided it is taught holistically integrated

Project: Oceans:

Project: Oceans Biology: Marine plants & animals Physics: Displacement floats ships Chemistry: Why is sea water salty? Geography: Navigation, Orienteering, sailing, Qibla History: Maritime history of nations, colonial domination, Muslim Mariners Trade: Routes, goods, cultural & population change Tafseer: Qur’anic Ayaat relating to Oceans Fiqh: Mathaa’il related to sea water, food, travel etc. Hadith: Ahadith related to the sea Living knowledge to be applied in context

Two Oceans:

Two Oceans وَهُوَ الَّذِي مَرَجَ الْبَحْرَيْنِ هَذَا عَذْبٌ فُرَاتٌ وَهَذَا مِلْحٌ أُجَاجٌ وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَهُمَا بَرْزَخًا وَحِجْرًا مَّحْجُورًا Furqan 25: 53. And it is He Who has let free the two seas (kinds of water), one palatable and sweet, and the other salt and bitter, and He has set a barrier and a complete partition between them. How does this happen and where?

Project: Mountains:

Project: Mountains Geology: Isostacy of mountains: Stabilizing effect Geography: How mountains effect climate Biology: Mountain flora & fauna History: How mountains affected history of nations Tafsir : Ayaat related to mountains Seerah: Mountain of Uhud Hadith: Ahadith related to mountains Draw lessons from all of these to connect to Allah  & Aakhira

3 – Critical Questions:

3 – Critical Questions Which you must answer

3 - Questions:

3 - Questions What’s your script for your child? What changes are you willing to make in yourself and your lifestyle to enable that script? What resources do you need to accomplish your goal and what’s your plan to get those resources?

What’s your script for your child?:

What’s your script for your child ? Are you conscious about what you wrote and what can you change?

Parents are the script writers:

Parents are the script writers Often this is unconscious and always colored by parent’s prejudices, upbringing, and culture Children rarely escape their parent’s script and write their own Those who have a winning script have a clear advantage over those who have to break out of a losing script and write their own So what did you write for your child?


Exercise Imagine that you are listening to the farewell speech at your child’s retirement function. What would you like to hear? Write an assessment about how you are doing in this respect

What changes are you willing to make in yourself?:

What changes are you willing to make in yourself? And your lifestyle to enable that script?



What resources do you need to accomplish your goal?:

What resources do you need to accomplish your goal ? What’s your plan to get those resources?



So what must you do?:

So what must you do? 5 – Key Principles

5 – Key Principles:

5 – Key Principles Connections (Allah  & Rasoolullah  ) Doing not Being Cooperation not Competition Contribution not Consumption Abundance n0t Stinginess It’s all about tools

Connections (Allah & Rasoolullah):

Connections (Allah  & Rasoolullah  ) Tazkiyyatun Nafs wa Tarbiyatul Akhlaq Huqooqullah wa Huqooqul Ibaad Humility and service orientation Thirst for knowledge Connections are everything

How to do it?:

How to do it? Fulfill all Fara’idh meticulously Earn and eat Halaal Pray Tahajjud daily and learn to make dua Focus on Nawaafil ; Sunnah, Dhikr, Quran Follow the Sunnah Daily Muhasiba and make Tawba frequently Because only action counts

Doing not Being:

Doing not Being Inspire high aspirations Focus on achievements Don’t measure everything in money or numbers – reward principled behavior Praise achievement not only beauty Only our actions define us

How to do it?:

Reading – Biographies, history, literature Meet high achievers especially in the area of your children’s interest Help them to experience life by doing challenging assignments Encourage sports – especially team games How to do it? Limit screens and ban at meals and bedtime

Cooperation not Competition:

Cooperation not Competition Encourage cooperation at home Change teaching and exams systems Work on projects together but don’t do their work Measure achievement, understanding, application Not random recall at a specific time

How to do it?:

Don’t encourage sibling rivalry Encourage children to share everything Encourage them to ask good questions Don’t give answers but let them find out How to do it? Property battles at age 40 being in the nursery at age 2

Contribution not Consumption:

Contribution not Consumption Possessions add cost not value Use things and value people Your character defines you, not your shirt One day we will be called to account We will be questioned about possessions and rewarded for contribution

How to do it?:

Discourage shopping, collecting stuff and adding possessions Encourage charity – give something to get something Share stories of tough choices made to stand by principles Encourage them to identify role models How to do it? Try to be one yourself

Abundance not Stinginess:

Abundance not Stinginess Sharing increases knowledge Sharing increases wealth Sharing increases happiness Sharing increases well-being Show them that real and lasting happiness lies in the smile of someone who had been crying

How to do it?:

Teach agriculture – charity increases wealth Keep track of charity Share all knowledge freely Show them that what goes around comes around How to do it? You have to give in order to receive

Nothing leaves the Heavens until something leaves the earth.:

Nothing leaves the Heavens until something leaves the earth.

Force Field Analysis:

Force Field Analysis Problem Solving tool

Force field Analysis:

Force field Analysis Inhibitors Enablers Goal

What to do?:

What to do? Strengthen positive forces (Enablers) Remove negative forces (Inhibitors) Removing negative forces is more important than strengthening positive forces because there is an internal push towards good in all of us


Exercise Each group pick one and report out

Our links:

Our links www.yawarbaig.com www.youtube.com/yawarbaigassociates www.youtube.com/myawarbaig myawarbaig.tumblr.com Twitter: @ myawarbaig 55 Would love to hear from you

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