Andy Cohen Gives ex Nun Reality Show on Bravo

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Andy Cohen, the young VP of programming at Bravo, just confirmed he offered a reality show to an ex nun. It features Sister Mary Bernard who believes in paddling, cleanliness, and sexual abstinence. Sister Mary sparked outrage with Kathy Griffin fans when she called Kathy a filthy, filthy girl. We happen to agree with you Sister Mary, and good luck.

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Presentation Transcript

Slide 1:

former SISTER MARY BERNARD SHOW COMING to BRAVO APRIL 2011

Slide 2:

former SISTER MARY BERNARD SHOW Welcome to the former Sister Mary Bernard Show.

Slide 3:

former SISTER MARY BERNARD SHOW I believe in paddling, cleanliness, and sexual abstinence.

Slide 4:

former SISTER MARY BERNARD SHOW I enjoy watching DWTS, Matlock, and online gambling…

Slide 5:

former SISTER MARY BERNARD SHOW Six weeks ago Andy Cohen called and offered me a reality show.

Slide 6:

former SISTER MARY BERNARD SHOW He’d seen an interview I’d given to a reporter regarding a former student…

Slide 7:

SIX WEEKS AGO

Slide 8:

I’m former Sister Mary Bernard and I was Miss Griffin’s fourth grade teacher.

Slide 9:

I can tell you Kathleen Mary Griffin was a filthy, filthy girl…and infested with cooties!

Slide 10:

She never used toilet paper or washed her hands… she was….disgusting!

Slide 11:

Kathy Griffin does seem nasty..

Slide 12:

former SISTER MARY BERNARD SHOW I didn’t know who Andy Cohen was…but found out he’s a handsome young man with a lazy eye.

Slide 13:

Do you think Bravo will buy us lunch after the show?

Slide 14:

former SISTER MARY BERNARD SHOW Mr. Cohen told me he’d been considering a 'Mama Elsa’ reality show.

Slide 15:

I thought you had to be hot to get a reality show..

Slide 16:

former SISTER MARY BERNARD SHOW However, he decided I was more camera friendly than 'Mama Elsa’.

Slide 17:

I love 'Mama Elsa’…this stinks!

Slide 18:

former SISTER MARY BERNARD SHOW Over the last weeks I’ve watched Mr. Cohen’s reality shows…and saw many girls who needed paddling.

Slide 19:

former SISTER MARY BERNARD SHOW Each week I’ll decide who needs detention, paddling, or earned good behavior points… Good behavior points winner receives two MEGA Lottery Tickets from Andy Cohen

Slide 20:

former SISTER MARY BERNARD SHOW This week Christy Fernandez from RHOM needed a good paddling. She’s a snotty young lady who needs correction! Good behavior points winner receives two MEGA Lottery Tickets from Andy Cohen

Slide 21:

former SISTER MARY BERNARD SHOW NeNe Leakes from RHOA deserves detention for poor sportsmanship on Celebrity Apprentice. Good behavior points winner receives two MEGA Lottery Tickets from Andy Cohen

Slide 22:

former SISTER MARY BERNARD SHOW Andy Cohen…you earned the good behavior points this week for hiring me. The extra $260 a week means I can hit Vegas with Earl. Good behavior points winner receives two MEGA Lottery Tickets from Andy Cohen

Slide 23:

Bravo insiders advised us they were unable to reach a mutually satisfactory financial agreement with 'Mama Elsa’. At no point did they state she was less camera friendly than former Sister Mary Bernard. They also wanted to remind you to vote for Andy Cohen in the Time magazine poll. Thank you. Bravo Management