Have a laugh at our expense.

Slide 2:

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% The elderly gentleman went back to the doctor after a month and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect... Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.‘ The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

Slide 3:

A group of old men from a retirement centre were sitting on a bench when one of them turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?' 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

Slide 4:

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.  Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.  Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me ... I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name!  I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it.  Please, tell me what your name is!" Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.  Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

Slide 5:

A senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.  Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!" "Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car.  It's hundreds of them!"

Slide 6:

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, a student nurse, found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let the nurse wheel him to the elevator. On the way down the nurse asked him if his wife was meeting him. 'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'

Slide 7:

One day an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, he went to the doctor again with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. The doctor got up to meet the old man and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' The old man replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'' The doctor said, 'I didn't say that... I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

Slide 8:

A senior couple are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ... Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 'Sure..' 'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she suggests. 'No, I can remember it.' 'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so not to forget it?' He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.' 'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she adds. Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs......... She stares at the plate for a moment. 'Where's my toast ?'

Slide 9:

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together.  One night the 96-year-old draws a bath.  She puts her foot in and pauses.  She yells to the two other sisters downstairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92-year-old is sitting in the living room having tea, listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." at the same time thumping her walking stick on the wooden floor. She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."

Slide 10:

A group of elderly friends had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the ladies left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?... you know, the one that's red and has thorns.' Do you mean a rose?' Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled , 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?' That’s it folks.