Slide 2:
I hardly iron
a thing anymore,
the laundry doesn't need it,
so that's one less chore.
Liberated now
from this boring task,
most materials are smooth,
soft as damask
but there is still a job
that has to be done
Flattening my hips,
which is definitely no fun.
Slide 3:
The perfect womanDoesn’t sweatOr anything like as vulgarIf they overheatThe darlings just perspire
The perfect womanDoesn’t fartLike a trumpet soundingBut rather it is releasedLike she’s gently sighing
Slide 4:
Persistently, a dream indeedlives on within my mind.To ride the trails upon my steedwhen night is left behind.
If you can, come ride with me.
Adventure awaits!
What's around the next bend?
What gifts do nature to us send? Forward he goes in spite of danger..Like a dove with legs
he moves with endeavour..Love to be on his back forever..
On woodsy paths in vivid scenes,I ride the morn away.So ride I must, but now it seemsmy horse has started to sway.
Slide 5:
I've got to lose a kilogramMe buttonholes are stretchingAnd when I bend down in me shortsMe rear end aint so fetching
I've got to lose 2 kilogramsMe zipper's lost its zipMe jeans feel like steel corsetsAnd won't pull past me hips
I will not think about my weightThe shops are full of hollyI'll "HO HO HO" and stir the cakeAnd try to act all jollySo push the thin jeans to the backAnd put on my "fat" gearI HAVE to lose some kilogramsPerhaps I'll start next year.
Slide 6:
I am a fussy eaterI always has been reallyCauliflowers make me poppyAnd broccoli’s make me queasy
Rice Pudding makes me burpSmelly cheese takes me apartEggs give me a belly acheAnd beans make me fart Porridge makes me vomitJelly is too flatFruits make me skinnyBut spaghetti burns me fat
Slide 7:
Every day I am bombardedIn each direction that I turnBy those who claim that EXERCISECauses flab to crash and burn!
So for those who are devotedTo trying to make me over, PLEASE!If God wanted me to touch my toesHe would have put them on my knees!
I believe He loves us as we areThat includes both big AND smallSo when I reach the gates of HeavenIt will be with flab and all!