logging in or signing up Leader Training on Overcoming Internet Addictions tonylitster Download Post to : URL : Related Presentations : Share Add to Flag Embed Email Send to Blogs and Networks Add to Channel Uploaded from authorPOINT lite Insert YouTube videos in PowerPont slides with aS Desktop Copy embed code: (To copy code, click on the text box) Embed: URL: Thumbnail: WordPress Embed Customize Embed The presentation is successfully added In Your Favorites. Views: 63 Category: Education License: All Rights Reserved Like it (0) Dislike it (0) Added: October 15, 2010 This Presentation is Public Favorites: 0 Presentation Description No description available. Comments Posting comment... By: leslielove (9 month(s) ago) Thanks for this wonderful presentation Tony. I've been trying to help out my brother with his porn addiction and it's really hard for both of us. I know he doesn't want to be involved anymore, but he keeps relapsing. I'm thinking, at this point, that the best decision might be to send him over to http://arkrecovery.com rehabilitation. What do you think? Saving..... Post Reply Close Saving..... Edit Comment Close Premium member Presentation Transcript Overcoming Pornography Dependence : Overcoming Pornography Dependence Tony Litster CureTheCraving.com Purpose of Training : Purpose of Training Raise awareness of how widespread this problem is, especially among young men Why common attempts to alter this behavior are less effective and may actually be harmful 7 things to consider for effective recovery Resources available Background : Background Tony Litster CureTheCraving.com Non-profit I am not a licensed therapist Unique perspective on the issue Supplement to Church’s ARP, not a replacement Best results = combination of approaches Background : Background Personal experience with this issue 15 year study of personal development, change in the brain 2,500 + hours of one on one coaching as a coach Published several personal development trainings Background : Background Exposed as teenager Stopped using at 16 Cravings continued for 15 years Abstinence does not equal healing Short term behavior change does not equal healing Background : Background Participated in pilot programs Suggestions of “pray more”, “fast more” did not change the inner struggle Search for solutions to the inner game of recovery Education : Education $10,000 + therapy and counseling Hundreds of books on change in the brain and how to modify feelings Non- traditional forms of change Education : Education Hypnosis Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Meditation Yoga Acupuncture Affirmations and Visualizations Brain change Strange stuff! Education : Education Seminars Trainings Experiential learning programs $100,000 + trainings $60,000 + best coaches available Very unconventional approach to learning Works for some people, not everyone Recovery : Recovery No silver bullet No quick fix Not the ARP, Not our programs Best results come when people combine many different approaches I will share several of the available programs Recovery : Recovery Misconception that this goes away on its own, or after a confession Plan on “recovery” taking 10 years or more This behavior is deeply wired into the brain and anchored with sexual feelings It has been reinforced for decades Re-wiring takes time too Recovery : Recovery Real healing comes from the Savior Even after profound spiritual healing, the person must be on guard against relapse Cravings will still come up Surveys : Surveys 9 out of 10 children ages 8-16 have been exposed to pornography online 50-70% of Christian men have a problem 20% of Christian women have a problem 37% of Pastors have a problem with this 73% of teenage boys ages 15-17 look at hard core porn at least once a month Surveys : Surveys Where do they access it? At home Subscribe to internet = subscribe to adult content Have internet = use a filter Online transparency- no more anonymous online behavior Latter-Day-Saints : Latter-Day-Saints Are we immune? Similar trends with other Christian churches My biggest concern: the rising generation of young men Its time we throw them a lifeline Why Is This So Hard To Overcome? : Why Is This So Hard To Overcome? 4 areas we will discuss Chemical experience in the brain Cravings and what this means to the addict The Shame Cycle Equilibrium in the brain What Does “Exposure” Mean : What Does “Exposure” Mean Likely the most intense experience of their life Very mixed feelings- high-high, low-low Brain study- similar brain reaction to using cocaine Adrenaline, Serotonin, Dopamine Commitment to “never do it again”, followed by intense cravings that haunt them to repeat behavior What Cravings Mean To The Addict : What Cravings Mean To The Addict Hypothalamus gland- regulates cravings Anytime we feel down, our brain wants us to feel up Stress, loneliness, exhaustion = need to feel up= cravings This behavior exhausts the body, creates a vicious cycle Whatever our habit of feeling better is, our brain will create cravings for it What Cravings Mean To The Addict : What Cravings Mean To The Addict Positive cravings- exercise, spiritual connection, playing, healthy sexual experience Negative cravings- escape through substances, food, entertainment, pornography To the addict, cravings mean they must be a bad person Slide 21: Guilt, shame, punishment etc are “pain based” motivators. When resisting cravings is more painful than the consequences of acting out, they return to the old behavior for a momentary escape from their suffering. Why Self-Control Usually Doesn’t Work By Itself : Why Self-Control Usually Doesn’t Work By Itself Limbic system of the brain- animal brain- makes sure basic needs are met Frontal cortex of the brain- rational brain- where we consider consequences Out of balance = cravings Resist cravings without fixing imbalance = limbic system chemically shuts down the frontal cortex People act out compulsively Self-control AND New Coping Skills : Self-control AND New Coping Skills Successful recovery means teaching new habits of healthy release Implementing healthy habits before things get out of balance is the best prevention Old Approach : Old Approach Most of the tools offered in the past require “hard work” (they are all good things as well) Examples Use more self control, read more scriptures, pray more, fast more, discipline yourself, etc Confession to Bishop, Spouse, going to an ARP meeting where others will know about their addictions = Huge Stress These solutions are all good things Used incorrectly, they can set the person up for a relapse How? : How? Scripture study is a powerful tool for revelation When used as a tool to make cravings go away many people report they didn’t get revelation or less cravings Prayer is absolutely essential for healing When the addict believes he is unworthy because of the cravings = he doesn’t think he deserves spiritual help and believes God is mad at him All Are Part of Recovery : All Are Part of Recovery Scripture Prayer Confession ARP : For them to work in the life of the addict, there must be fundamental shift in how they see themselves Without this shift, they may not bring the healing we seek Shame Cycle : Shame Cycle Act out, feel deep shame Commit to control the behavior Control leads to imbalance Imbalance creates cravings Cravings validate shame Act out again for momentary relief Shame deepens Shame Cycle : Shame Cycle Shame As A Motivator : Shame As A Motivator When we use shame to motivate, we may get short term results The long term effect is always the opposite of what we want Someone with a shame based identity will have a difficult time praying and reading the scriptures For recovery to work, we must break the shame cycle Equilibrium In The Brain : Equilibrium In The Brain The brain is designed to avoid change Change is dangerous to the brain The brain always seeks equilibrium, balance Equilibrium In The Brain : Equilibrium In The Brain Example- smoker Try to quit- brain demands the old chemicals The brain creates all kinds of negative emotions to get us back to the old behavior- anxiety, depression, fear, doubt Eventually, the brain will create a new equilibrium The Good News : The Good News Timeframe for change in the brain Introduce a new emotion every day for about 30 days = new neural pathway Reinforce this emotion for 90 days = thought pattern becomes the primary neural pathway On a cellular level, it become who we are The Bad News : The Bad News Most of these people have been reinforcing this behavior for much longer than 90 days. Usually for years or decades. This behavior is anchored with the most basic survival instinct of sex It has been anchored with intense pleasure and intense shame Note : Note Change happens in the emotions, not the intellect or reason For recovery to be effective, it must tap into the emotions These emotions must be reinforced over an extended period of time The most powerful emotion for change is feeling the Spirit 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery : 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery 1. Creating a “safe place” They have to eliminate access to the material in their home Internet filters- someone else has the password Accountability software Accountability partner who doesn’t shame them 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery : 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery 2. Break the shame cycle Teach them the truth of who they are Separate behavior from worth Teach them to pray- even during cravings and after acting out Affirmations Visualization exercises 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery : 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery 3. Help them understand what cravings mean They can expect to have cravings for a long time Cravings are the brain’s way of signaling that they are out of balance Cravings do not mean they are bad Cravings do not mean they can’t reach out to God in the moment Give them tools of what to do during the moment of temptation Understanding their personal triggers, and how to deal with them Making sure they create an environment where the Spirit is present 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery : 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery 4. Find new, positive ways to get the brain chemicals You can’t just take the chemicals away- the brain will revolt Adrenaline- challenging activities, outdoor activities, reaching out emotionally Serotonin- meditation and deep relaxation, yoga, exercise Dopamine- creative activities that use their imagination 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery : 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery 5. Stress Management When the body has too much stress, it craves adrenaline Rest is the primary method for the body to release stress Meditation has been shown in brain studies to release more stress than sleep Meditation technique of observing your breathing 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery : 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery 6. Diet Changes Getting back to the intent of the word of wisdom This will result in a significant decrease in cravings No HFCS, diet sodas, caffeine Less processed sugars, flours Decrease the amount of fast food and red meat Significant increase in “greens”- spinach, kale, broccoli, etc Back to the garden- 100 year rule of thumb 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery : 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery 7. Spiritual Healing This is where true healing occurs Body, Mind, Spirit This is the most important component, but I place it here in the list because most addicts don’t know how to access the experience until they have done the previous steps Hard to experience until they have gotten their physical body in order, created a safe place, and learned to break the shame cycle Slide 43: In case you haven’t noticed, what I’m suggesting is a total lifestyle change. Slide 44: Reaching out for help in an area that used to be their darkest secret Fundamental shift in how they view themselves Reacting differently to triggers and cravings Developing new, healthy habits to get their emotional needs met New ways of releasing stress Breaking their food addictions and replacing their junk food with nature’s version of food Altering their view of God to be able to connect with Him during their darkest hours Slide 45: The brain will resist change with everything it has. To Create Healing : To Create Healing Long term support Constant reinforcement- until it become lifestyle It will not happen on its own Anything less is quick fix Slide 47: This is the most insidious of traps. It uses the bodies most natural and God-given drive, distorts it, and then prevents the addict from accessing God for healing. And 73% of our young men are trapped. Resources : Resources There are more programs available today than ever before. People are waking up to this issue No Magic Bullet- No “one solution” will fix people Best results happen when people do a combination of approaches ARP- Weekly Group Meetings : ARP- Weekly Group Meetings Positive Face to face Not feeling alone Free to participate, like 12 step programs Negative Shame of going to meeting and being seen Soft touch Generic application can lack tools for their personal application Therapy/ Coaching- LDSFS, Myself, Others : Therapy/ Coaching- LDSFS, Myself, Others Positive Personal Tools for the moment Negative Cost Skills of therapist or coach vary Values of therapist or coach vary Lifestar- Group Therapy : Lifestar- Group Therapy Positive Long term Hard hitting Face to face, support of others Negative Expensive More talk than brain reprogramming Available in limited areas CureTheCraving.com- Programs for Addicts, Wives, Parents : CureTheCraving.com- Programs for Addicts, Wives, Parents Positive Anonymous participation via telephone or downloads of the calls Emotional exercises and reinforcement, 12 month step by step process Combines brain science with Spiritual healing Affordable and geographically accessible- under $20 a month Negative No face to face Group vs personal I can talk (as you’ve seen…) How Can Leaders Be More Effective? : How Can Leaders Be More Effective? Educate yourself on this issue. The days of ignoring it are over. CombattingPornography.org ABetterMormon.com – free 7 cd download ABetterPastor.com- free access for church leaders to our paid programs How Can Leaders Be More Effective? : How Can Leaders Be More Effective? Ask better questions in interviews Eliminate the shame Change the conversation in our wards- Everyone has a filter Everyone is transparent- accountability software Invitation for healing Resources : Resources www.CombattingPornography.org www.ABetterPastor.com – (For Leaders Only) Free access to all of our paid programs www.ABetterMormon.com – For all members- Free 7 CD educational program www.CureTheCraving.com www.LifestarNetwork.org You do not have the permission to view this presentation. In order to view it, please contact the author of the presentation.
Leader Training on Overcoming Internet Addictions tonylitster Download Post to : URL : Related Presentations : Share Add to Flag Embed Email Send to Blogs and Networks Add to Channel Uploaded from authorPOINT lite Insert YouTube videos in PowerPont slides with aS Desktop Copy embed code: (To copy code, click on the text box) Embed: URL: Thumbnail: WordPress Embed Customize Embed The presentation is successfully added In Your Favorites. Views: 63 Category: Education License: All Rights Reserved Like it (0) Dislike it (0) Added: October 15, 2010 This Presentation is Public Favorites: 0 Presentation Description No description available. Comments Posting comment... By: leslielove (9 month(s) ago) Thanks for this wonderful presentation Tony. I've been trying to help out my brother with his porn addiction and it's really hard for both of us. I know he doesn't want to be involved anymore, but he keeps relapsing. I'm thinking, at this point, that the best decision might be to send him over to http://arkrecovery.com rehabilitation. What do you think? Saving..... Post Reply Close Saving..... Edit Comment Close Premium member Presentation Transcript Overcoming Pornography Dependence : Overcoming Pornography Dependence Tony Litster CureTheCraving.com Purpose of Training : Purpose of Training Raise awareness of how widespread this problem is, especially among young men Why common attempts to alter this behavior are less effective and may actually be harmful 7 things to consider for effective recovery Resources available Background : Background Tony Litster CureTheCraving.com Non-profit I am not a licensed therapist Unique perspective on the issue Supplement to Church’s ARP, not a replacement Best results = combination of approaches Background : Background Personal experience with this issue 15 year study of personal development, change in the brain 2,500 + hours of one on one coaching as a coach Published several personal development trainings Background : Background Exposed as teenager Stopped using at 16 Cravings continued for 15 years Abstinence does not equal healing Short term behavior change does not equal healing Background : Background Participated in pilot programs Suggestions of “pray more”, “fast more” did not change the inner struggle Search for solutions to the inner game of recovery Education : Education $10,000 + therapy and counseling Hundreds of books on change in the brain and how to modify feelings Non- traditional forms of change Education : Education Hypnosis Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Meditation Yoga Acupuncture Affirmations and Visualizations Brain change Strange stuff! Education : Education Seminars Trainings Experiential learning programs $100,000 + trainings $60,000 + best coaches available Very unconventional approach to learning Works for some people, not everyone Recovery : Recovery No silver bullet No quick fix Not the ARP, Not our programs Best results come when people combine many different approaches I will share several of the available programs Recovery : Recovery Misconception that this goes away on its own, or after a confession Plan on “recovery” taking 10 years or more This behavior is deeply wired into the brain and anchored with sexual feelings It has been reinforced for decades Re-wiring takes time too Recovery : Recovery Real healing comes from the Savior Even after profound spiritual healing, the person must be on guard against relapse Cravings will still come up Surveys : Surveys 9 out of 10 children ages 8-16 have been exposed to pornography online 50-70% of Christian men have a problem 20% of Christian women have a problem 37% of Pastors have a problem with this 73% of teenage boys ages 15-17 look at hard core porn at least once a month Surveys : Surveys Where do they access it? At home Subscribe to internet = subscribe to adult content Have internet = use a filter Online transparency- no more anonymous online behavior Latter-Day-Saints : Latter-Day-Saints Are we immune? Similar trends with other Christian churches My biggest concern: the rising generation of young men Its time we throw them a lifeline Why Is This So Hard To Overcome? : Why Is This So Hard To Overcome? 4 areas we will discuss Chemical experience in the brain Cravings and what this means to the addict The Shame Cycle Equilibrium in the brain What Does “Exposure” Mean : What Does “Exposure” Mean Likely the most intense experience of their life Very mixed feelings- high-high, low-low Brain study- similar brain reaction to using cocaine Adrenaline, Serotonin, Dopamine Commitment to “never do it again”, followed by intense cravings that haunt them to repeat behavior What Cravings Mean To The Addict : What Cravings Mean To The Addict Hypothalamus gland- regulates cravings Anytime we feel down, our brain wants us to feel up Stress, loneliness, exhaustion = need to feel up= cravings This behavior exhausts the body, creates a vicious cycle Whatever our habit of feeling better is, our brain will create cravings for it What Cravings Mean To The Addict : What Cravings Mean To The Addict Positive cravings- exercise, spiritual connection, playing, healthy sexual experience Negative cravings- escape through substances, food, entertainment, pornography To the addict, cravings mean they must be a bad person Slide 21: Guilt, shame, punishment etc are “pain based” motivators. When resisting cravings is more painful than the consequences of acting out, they return to the old behavior for a momentary escape from their suffering. Why Self-Control Usually Doesn’t Work By Itself : Why Self-Control Usually Doesn’t Work By Itself Limbic system of the brain- animal brain- makes sure basic needs are met Frontal cortex of the brain- rational brain- where we consider consequences Out of balance = cravings Resist cravings without fixing imbalance = limbic system chemically shuts down the frontal cortex People act out compulsively Self-control AND New Coping Skills : Self-control AND New Coping Skills Successful recovery means teaching new habits of healthy release Implementing healthy habits before things get out of balance is the best prevention Old Approach : Old Approach Most of the tools offered in the past require “hard work” (they are all good things as well) Examples Use more self control, read more scriptures, pray more, fast more, discipline yourself, etc Confession to Bishop, Spouse, going to an ARP meeting where others will know about their addictions = Huge Stress These solutions are all good things Used incorrectly, they can set the person up for a relapse How? : How? Scripture study is a powerful tool for revelation When used as a tool to make cravings go away many people report they didn’t get revelation or less cravings Prayer is absolutely essential for healing When the addict believes he is unworthy because of the cravings = he doesn’t think he deserves spiritual help and believes God is mad at him All Are Part of Recovery : All Are Part of Recovery Scripture Prayer Confession ARP : For them to work in the life of the addict, there must be fundamental shift in how they see themselves Without this shift, they may not bring the healing we seek Shame Cycle : Shame Cycle Act out, feel deep shame Commit to control the behavior Control leads to imbalance Imbalance creates cravings Cravings validate shame Act out again for momentary relief Shame deepens Shame Cycle : Shame Cycle Shame As A Motivator : Shame As A Motivator When we use shame to motivate, we may get short term results The long term effect is always the opposite of what we want Someone with a shame based identity will have a difficult time praying and reading the scriptures For recovery to work, we must break the shame cycle Equilibrium In The Brain : Equilibrium In The Brain The brain is designed to avoid change Change is dangerous to the brain The brain always seeks equilibrium, balance Equilibrium In The Brain : Equilibrium In The Brain Example- smoker Try to quit- brain demands the old chemicals The brain creates all kinds of negative emotions to get us back to the old behavior- anxiety, depression, fear, doubt Eventually, the brain will create a new equilibrium The Good News : The Good News Timeframe for change in the brain Introduce a new emotion every day for about 30 days = new neural pathway Reinforce this emotion for 90 days = thought pattern becomes the primary neural pathway On a cellular level, it become who we are The Bad News : The Bad News Most of these people have been reinforcing this behavior for much longer than 90 days. Usually for years or decades. This behavior is anchored with the most basic survival instinct of sex It has been anchored with intense pleasure and intense shame Note : Note Change happens in the emotions, not the intellect or reason For recovery to be effective, it must tap into the emotions These emotions must be reinforced over an extended period of time The most powerful emotion for change is feeling the Spirit 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery : 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery 1. Creating a “safe place” They have to eliminate access to the material in their home Internet filters- someone else has the password Accountability software Accountability partner who doesn’t shame them 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery : 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery 2. Break the shame cycle Teach them the truth of who they are Separate behavior from worth Teach them to pray- even during cravings and after acting out Affirmations Visualization exercises 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery : 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery 3. Help them understand what cravings mean They can expect to have cravings for a long time Cravings are the brain’s way of signaling that they are out of balance Cravings do not mean they are bad Cravings do not mean they can’t reach out to God in the moment Give them tools of what to do during the moment of temptation Understanding their personal triggers, and how to deal with them Making sure they create an environment where the Spirit is present 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery : 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery 4. Find new, positive ways to get the brain chemicals You can’t just take the chemicals away- the brain will revolt Adrenaline- challenging activities, outdoor activities, reaching out emotionally Serotonin- meditation and deep relaxation, yoga, exercise Dopamine- creative activities that use their imagination 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery : 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery 5. Stress Management When the body has too much stress, it craves adrenaline Rest is the primary method for the body to release stress Meditation has been shown in brain studies to release more stress than sleep Meditation technique of observing your breathing 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery : 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery 6. Diet Changes Getting back to the intent of the word of wisdom This will result in a significant decrease in cravings No HFCS, diet sodas, caffeine Less processed sugars, flours Decrease the amount of fast food and red meat Significant increase in “greens”- spinach, kale, broccoli, etc Back to the garden- 100 year rule of thumb 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery : 7 Areas of Focus For Recovery 7. Spiritual Healing This is where true healing occurs Body, Mind, Spirit This is the most important component, but I place it here in the list because most addicts don’t know how to access the experience until they have done the previous steps Hard to experience until they have gotten their physical body in order, created a safe place, and learned to break the shame cycle Slide 43: In case you haven’t noticed, what I’m suggesting is a total lifestyle change. Slide 44: Reaching out for help in an area that used to be their darkest secret Fundamental shift in how they view themselves Reacting differently to triggers and cravings Developing new, healthy habits to get their emotional needs met New ways of releasing stress Breaking their food addictions and replacing their junk food with nature’s version of food Altering their view of God to be able to connect with Him during their darkest hours Slide 45: The brain will resist change with everything it has. To Create Healing : To Create Healing Long term support Constant reinforcement- until it become lifestyle It will not happen on its own Anything less is quick fix Slide 47: This is the most insidious of traps. It uses the bodies most natural and God-given drive, distorts it, and then prevents the addict from accessing God for healing. And 73% of our young men are trapped. Resources : Resources There are more programs available today than ever before. People are waking up to this issue No Magic Bullet- No “one solution” will fix people Best results happen when people do a combination of approaches ARP- Weekly Group Meetings : ARP- Weekly Group Meetings Positive Face to face Not feeling alone Free to participate, like 12 step programs Negative Shame of going to meeting and being seen Soft touch Generic application can lack tools for their personal application Therapy/ Coaching- LDSFS, Myself, Others : Therapy/ Coaching- LDSFS, Myself, Others Positive Personal Tools for the moment Negative Cost Skills of therapist or coach vary Values of therapist or coach vary Lifestar- Group Therapy : Lifestar- Group Therapy Positive Long term Hard hitting Face to face, support of others Negative Expensive More talk than brain reprogramming Available in limited areas CureTheCraving.com- Programs for Addicts, Wives, Parents : CureTheCraving.com- Programs for Addicts, Wives, Parents Positive Anonymous participation via telephone or downloads of the calls Emotional exercises and reinforcement, 12 month step by step process Combines brain science with Spiritual healing Affordable and geographically accessible- under $20 a month Negative No face to face Group vs personal I can talk (as you’ve seen…) How Can Leaders Be More Effective? : How Can Leaders Be More Effective? Educate yourself on this issue. The days of ignoring it are over. CombattingPornography.org ABetterMormon.com – free 7 cd download ABetterPastor.com- free access for church leaders to our paid programs How Can Leaders Be More Effective? : How Can Leaders Be More Effective? Ask better questions in interviews Eliminate the shame Change the conversation in our wards- Everyone has a filter Everyone is transparent- accountability software Invitation for healing Resources : Resources www.CombattingPornography.org www.ABetterPastor.com – (For Leaders Only) Free access to all of our paid programs www.ABetterMormon.com – For all members- Free 7 CD educational program www.CureTheCraving.com www.LifestarNetwork.org