What are soft skills? : What are soft skills? Soft skills are intrapersonal and interpersonal skills that determine a person's ability to excel or at least fit in a particular social structure, such as a project team or a company Interpersonal and intrapersonal : Interpersonal and intrapersonal Interpersonal skills are the skills that a person uses to interact with other people. Interpersonal skills are sometimes also referred to as people skills or communication skills
Intrapersonal communication is language use or thought internal to the communicator. It can be useful to envision intrapersonal communication occurring in the mind of the individual in a model which contains a sender, receiver, and feedback loop. Soft skill for successful career : Soft skill for successful career Soft skill is the ability required and expected from persons for finding a suitable job, its maintenance and promotion Importance of soft skill : Importance of soft skill Soft skill are very important
To handle interpersonal relations
To take appropriate decisions
To communicate effectively
To have good impression and impact to gain professional development Interpersonal Skills : Interpersonal Skills Man is a social animal & his success in life largely depends on his relationship & interaction with others
We must respect the views & sentiments of others.
When we want to differ their views, we must very politely give hints to them without wondering their feelings ASSERTIVENESS : ASSERTIVENESS WHAT IS IT?
HOW CAN IT HELP ME?
WHAT DO I NEED TO DO? ASSERTIVENESS : ASSERTIVENESS Assertiveness is the ability to communicate your needs, feelings, opinions, and beliefs in an open and honest manner without violating the rights of others What Assertiveness Is : What Assertiveness Is Respect for yourself and others.
Honestly expressing your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.
Effectively influencing, listening, and negotiating with others. Test Your Assertiveness (1 of 3) : Test Your Assertiveness (1 of 3) Can you express negative feelings about other people and their behaviors without using abusive language?
Are you able to exercise and express your strengths?
Can you easily recognize and compliment other people’s achievements? Test Your Assertiveness (2 of 3) : Test Your Assertiveness (2 of 3) Do you have the confidence to ask for what is rightfully yours?
Can you accept criticism without being defensive?
Do you feel comfortable accepting compliments?
Are you able to stand up for your rights? Test Your Assertiveness (3 of 3) : Test Your Assertiveness (3 of 3) Are you able to refuse unreasonable requests from friends, family, or co-workers?
Can you comfortably start and carry on a conversation with others?
Do you ask for assistance when you need it ? A “yes” response to the questions indicates an assertive approach. Why Assertiveness Is Important? : Why Assertiveness Is Important? Effective communication brings about the achievement of individual and/or shared goals.
Assertiveness increases your ability to reach these goals while maintaining your rights and dignity. WHY PRACTICE ASSERTIVENESS? : WHY PRACTICE ASSERTIVENESS? Without Assertiveness, we would be passive.
We would let others boss us around.
Without assertiveness we would just react to the things that other people expect of us.
Others would tell us what to do and what to think. We wouldn’t stop to figure out what we want, need or think. The Myths About Assertiveness : The Myths About Assertiveness Other people’s feelings and rights are more important than yours. You are not important enough to express your feelings and rights. You will offend other people by being assertive. Assertive Rights : Assertive Rights You have the right to be assertive.
You have the right to request that others change their behavior if they are infringing on your rights.
You have the right to use your own time to answer questions.
You have the right to express your needs even if they are illogical. Be aware that there are responsibilities attached to all these rights! 3-TYPES OF ASSERTIVENESS : 3-TYPES OF ASSERTIVENESS Non-assertive behaviour
I am not ok,you are ok
I am ok,you are ok
I am ok,you are not ok ASSERTIVENESS : ASSERTIVENESS IS NOT THE SAME AS AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR.
AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR ENHANCES SELF AT THE EXPENSE OF OTHERS.
ASSERTIVENESS PRODUCES POSITIVE OUTCOMES FOR ALL; AGGRESSIVE ACTS RESULT IN NEGATIVE OUTCOMES. What Assertiveness Is Not : What Assertiveness Is Not It is important to remember that assertiveness is not aggressiveness or selfishness.
Being assertive does not involve humiliating or abusing other people and their rights.
Being assertive does not mean violating the rights of others or gaining at the expense of some one else’s loss. Aggressiveness Is : Aggressiveness Is Inappropriately expressing your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in a way that violates other people’s rights.
Achieving your goal by not allowing others the freedom to choose.
Completely disrespecting others whether it be in an active or passive method. Are You Aggressive? (1 of 2) : Are You Aggressive? (1 of 2) Do you become abusive, whether it be verbal or physical, when criticizing others?
Do you purposely make others feel like they are incompetent or unimportant?
Do you make unreasonable demands of other people? A “yes” answer to any of the questions may indicate aggressive behavior. Are You Aggressive? (2 of 2) : Are You Aggressive? (2 of 2) Do you brag or exaggerate your achievements?
Do you ignore the rights and feelings of other people?
Do you aim to get your way at all costs?
Do you often dominate conversations with others? WHAT WILL IT DO : WHAT WILL IT DO HELPS YOU BECOME SELF-CONFIDENT
GAIN RESPECT OF OTHERS
IMPROVE COMMUNICATION SKILLS
IMPROVE DECISION-MAKING ABILITY HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE : HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE BE HONEST AND DIRECT ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, NEEDS, BELIEFS.
EXPRESS YOURSELF FIRMLY AND DIRECTLY TO SPECIFIC INDIVIDUALS.
BE REASONABLE IN YOUR REQUESTS HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE : HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE STATE YOUR VIEWPOINT WITHOUT BEING HESITANT OR APOLOGETIC.
BE HONEST WHEN GIVING OR RECEIVING FEEDBACK.
LEARN TO SAY “NO” TO UNREASONABLE EXPECTATIONS.
PARAPHRASE WHAT OTHERS HAVE STATED TO YOU. HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE : HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE REGOGNIZE AND RESPECT THE RIGHTS OF THOSE AROUND YOU.
USE APPROPRIATE TONE OF VOICE.
BE AWARE OF BODY POSTURE/LANGUAGE
MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT.
USE “I” STATEMENTS TO EXPRESS SELF HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE : HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE DON’T LET OTHERS IMPOSE THEIR VALUES/IDEAS ON YOU
ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO BE CLEAR AND DIRECT
TAKE OWNERSHIP Acting Unassertiveness Is : Acting Unassertiveness Is Acting in an indirect or passive manner.
Permitting others to take advantage of you by violating your rights.
Thinking that you and your needs are inferior to others and their needs. Are You Unassertive? (1 of 2) : Are You Unassertive? (1 of 2) Do you feel guilty standing up for your rights or expressing your feelings?
Are you unable to recognize and acknowledge your strengths?
Are you uncomfortable with starting or carrying on a conversation?
Do you rarely stand up for yourself? Are You Unassertive? (2 of 2) : Are You Unassertive? (2 of 2) Do you have trouble saying “no” to people?
Are you unable to ask other people to perform reasonable requests for you?
Do you feel that you let other people take advantage of you? A “yes” answer to any of the questions may indicate unassertive behavior. AND MY RIGHTS ARE… : AND MY RIGHTS ARE… The right to respect myself because of who I am.
How to lead my life…pursuing goals, dreams, etc.
Have my own values, beliefs, etc.
To tell others how I wish to be treated.
To change my mind and make mistakes without being ridiculed. AND MY RIGHTS ARE… : AND MY RIGHTS ARE… TO HAVE POSITIVE, HEALTHY, SATISFYING RELATIONSHIPS IN WHICH I AM SAFE AND RESPECTED.
TO CHANGE AND DEVELOP MY LIFE HOW I DETERMINE.
TO BE HAPPY AND AT PEACE. What Would You Say? : Bob is in line at the deli counter waiting to be served. His number is about to be called next. Suddenly, a woman steps in front of him and places her order. Bob vociferously complains about the deli worker and the woman, exclaims he will never shop there again, tosses his ticket, and stalks off. What Would You Say? Slide 33: Judy’s boss asks her to go on an important business trip which will carry over into the weekend of her sister’s wedding. Judy feels she can’t refuse her boss and plans on sending her spouse to the wedding in her place. What Would You Say? What Would You Say? : What Would You Say? George is next in line to buy tickets in a crowded movie theatre lobby. Just as his turn comes up, a man cuts in front of him and requests tickets. George meekly steps back to allow the man room and hopes he gets waited on next. A Passive Person : A Passive Person Passive people usually: Speak softly and hesitantly.
Use fillers like “uh” and “um.”
Avoid eye contact.
Allow other people in their personal space. Should I Use Force? : Should I Use Force? Passiveness is clearly not conducive to ascertaining your personal rights, but you don’t need to go to the other extreme to be assertive.
You don’t have to be forceful to be assertive.
Soft-spoken people can be assertive too!
There is no one way to be assertive correctly, but there are things to avoid. An Aggressive Person : An Aggressive Person Raise their voices when they lose control.
Shout and use accusatory language like “You should” and “You must.”
Stare people down and may invade other people’s personal space physically. Infringes on others’ rights, using fear and intimidation to get what he or she wants. Aggressive people often: An Assertive Person : An Assertive Person Assertive people usually: Asserts his or her own rights in a positive, open, honest, and self-confident manner. Speak calmly and confidently.
Notify other people of their feelings with statements starting with “I think” and “I feel.”
Maintain eye contact, have good posture and are poised and in control. Six Personality Types : Six Personality Types Dreamers.
Pit-bulls. Hamsters : Hamsters Do good work, get respect, BUT get nowhere when it comes to career advancement. Where do all their efforts go? They may be assertive for the organization they work for, but fall short when it comes to standing up for themselves. Invisible Beings : Invisible Beings They do good work BUT nobody knows it.
Their unassertiveness lets others take credit for their achievements and that leaves them out of the limelight. Pit-bulls : Pit-bulls Their overly aggressive behavior gets in the way of their success at work.
They may be good workers, but the disruption and tension they create makes them disliked and puts them on the defensive. Dreamers : Dreamers Day-dreaming
shows a lack of self control
that keeps them from advancing.
Work that they eventually
turn in is acceptable. This lack of
focus may indicate low self-esteem. Whiners : Whiners They constantly complain about exactly what they don’t like, yet expect others to speak up and change the situation.
They do nothing to affect the change themselves, no matter how much taking decisive actions would help remedy their complaints. Mutes : Mutes They have a problem saying “no” and, for that matter, much of anything at all.
They take everything that’s given, whether they like it or not, and their passivity makes them over-worked and stressed. “No” is Not a Dirty Word : “No” is Not a Dirty Word If something makes you feel uncomfortable or if you feel the request is unreasonable, then it is your prerogative to refuse. Remember:
You are not saying “no” to the whole person, but only to part of the relationship which makes you feel uncomfortable.
“No” does not require an explanation. Four Steps To Saying “No” (1 of 2) : Four Steps To Saying “No” (1 of 2) Listen to the request - Make sure you understand the request completely before coming to a hasty conclusion. Ask questions if you need any clarification.
Say no immediately - You do not need to justify your decision. If you start doing so, you will be prolonging the conversation unnecessarily. Four Steps To Saying “No” (2 of 2) : Four Steps To Saying “No” (2 of 2) Give a reason for your refusal – Without giving a reason, you may come off as uncooperative or hostile. A clear and honest reason will be sufficient, you do not need to argue with the other party.
Offer to find an alternative – Let the other party know that you will try to help them but you are unable to perform the entire request. Slide 49: “A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.”