NeenerNanner 9

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The Neener-Nanner Apocalypse:

The Neener-Nanner Apocalypse Chapter 9 I am following the rules for all expansion packs, stuff packs, and store stuff, and keeping track of scoring. However, this is not an official tournament game, so the scoring is just for my own satisfaction.


Eshu: I just came out to see how my children are doing, and I must say, Obgu has been a most excellent step-father! When he joins me in death, we can spend eternity watching over our joint family, and become the best friends in the afterlife. “I'll look forward to joining you both. There's no jealousy in Heaven, right?”


Aurora: AAAAAAH! It's a NeenerNanner! “No, dear. That is an alien avatar, built by your father to protect us. Even as a ghost, he has some alien powers, and uses them for good. He'll only ever use that kabonker on our enemies.”


Aurora: What's a 'kabonker,' Mama? “It's the rolling pin. When wieleded as a weapon, it becomes a kabonker.” Aurora: Oh... What's a 'rolling pin,' Mama? “It's something master chefs use. You'll have to lift Culinary to find out.”


“Now that looks like a NeenerNanner to me.” Cosmo: No kidding. I'd recognize those red eyes, anywhere. I saw them under my bed. Get rid of it, Mama! “No worries, children. You're perfectly safe inside, and on the schoolbus, as well. I promise, the NeenerNanners will not get you.”


“Alright, children. I know it's a snow day, and I planned to invite my friends for a game of tag on the weekend. I really need to finish this novel, so we can pay our bills, and buy another rocking chair for Daddy, so I want you all to study the history of our town. I wrote it all down before you were born, you know. Go ahead and read everything I've written for you, and I'll help you learn some new things when I've earned the money we need to get by.”


Vulcan: READING HISTORY IS FINE, BUT I'M GOING TO PAINT, INSTEAD, BECAUSE I WANT TO BE AN ILLUSTRIOUS AUTHOR! “That's fine, dear. Although I do believe that reading those novels will help you, painting is even more important for you, in particular. And we only have one easel, after all. Make use of it while you can.”


Obgu: Never mind me. I'm just going to spend the day here in the rocking chair, until I get too cold. “Right, well, I'll call you in for dinner, dear. Don't stay outside to freeze.”


Astral: My turn to write! I want to finish my own novel now, while Mama takes out the garbage and pays the bills. “Fine. Once I have the bills paid, I can afford to take a break. And then I need to tutor Venus and Vulcan. All these snow days make it hard to get the A grades they'll need.”


Venus: Happy birthday, Astral and Solar! Mama has invited college friends and local friends for a big blow-out game of tag, to celebrate! Solar: Yeah, she says tonight we get to learn charisma skill, so we need to take advantage of our childhood while we can. Astral: She's still on the phone, inviting over more and more friends. This is gonna be epic!


B-one: Hehehe. Check it out. I'm invisible. I'm gonna sneak out. B-two: TAAAAAAAAG! Salutatorian: Have fun, kids! It's SATURDAY! Valedictorian: They're at it again. I'm just gonna sit here and pout. sGnomeman: Yeah, just chill, man. There's no point in fighting it.


Aurora: How come all of Mama's college friends are old, except you? Eddy: It's the fame, babe. It's the fame. Aurora: Wow! I have four stars, so that must mean I'll be young forever! Wheee! Let's play! Author's Note: What a liar. It's the wings, more like.


Venus: Best tag game ever! “Alright, kids! I'm putting down the ladder, now. I want you all inside by four o'clock.” Venus: Awwwww!


“Sorry to cut this short, kids, but it's six-thirty and the zombies are already appearing. It's time to send everyone home.” Venus: But, I haven't made friends with all of them, yet. “There will be other opportunities, darling. If you don't have enough friendships by the time you're a teenager, you'll just have to do it the old-fashioned way. But at least you'll have a head start.”


“Congratulations, Solar! It's your birthday! Uh, oh. Where is your Daddy? He should be here to see this.” Astral: He's downstairs. I think he's playing tag with the zombie. “Oh, no! It's the last tag game, all over again. It took us hours to get him inside. He just wouldn't stop!” Astral: I tried calling him, but he couldn't hear me.


“It's so strange. The kids were just playing tag with Abraham Finkel a couple of hours ago, and he turned into a zombie before curfew even started. No wonder Obgu got confused, especially with his own love for the game.”


“Oh, Plumbob, there are two of them now! And Obgu is just running around, being senile. He won't listen and come upstairs. “I just realized, he's already been an elder for four days now. He could die any time.”


“We had just enough money for a car parking spot, and we'll need one later, for the Alien Technology lift. I went ahead and moved a bunch of our furnishings downstairs so that we won't have to worry about tombstones landing in our open area downstairs. I wish I could get him to come upstairs out of the cold, but if he won't listen to my call, he just won't listen. He still thinks he's part of the group playing tag.”


Solar: I get to choose a trait. I wonder what I should take. Cosmo: You should choose Charismatic, so you can make lots of friends, like me! Astral: I'm going to choose whatever trait gets me the most sleep. “You'll both choose something to help you get ahead in the world.”


Solar: Sorry, Cosmo. I chose Bookworm. It goes well with my Genius trait. Cosmo: Awww. But how will you be super popular now? Solar: I don't want to be super popular. Anyway, I already have lots of friends.


Astral: I chose Natural Cook. An athletic sim, like me, needs good nutrition. I don't know if I'll lift Culinary, but I might be able to learn a few new recipes from my many, many friends. “You know, as a genie, you could create perfect meals that give amazing moodlets, if you and your siblings lift Culinary and Paranormal. That would be wonderful.”


sGnomeman: While they're all celebrating with some veggie rolls, I am going to do my bit by blocking the toilet. They'll pee themselves, and get embarrassed, and that won't really accomplish much of anything, but it will make Valedictorian feel better that at least I tried something. He's been so depressed lately. And this takes very little effort, after all.


Obgu: They think I'm senile, but I know more than they understand. Eshu had the right idea. Die right outside the house boundaries, and then stay forever to guard the family. This rocker is so comfortable, too. Author's Note: I don't remember who told me about the amazing draw that rockers have for elder sims and ghosts, but they were right. Obgu spends all his time in this thing, these days, when the kids haven't invited him to join a game of tag. It's not cheating full-moon curfew if the senile elders stay out autonomously, right?


Solar: I don't need to sleep. I'm an alien! I just use brain power.


Author's Note: I clicked on Solar, to get him to restore his brain power and had two discoveries, and two questions: 1) Solar is a pyromaniac. He must have gotten it from his father, Eshu. Can aliens also be firefighters? 2) Solar has inherited his mother's ability to wear the mascot suit. Can he do the mascot dance, as well?


Solar: My brain is so powerful! I already have a plan. I will have to max my Athletic ability before I even try to get a job. While Astral is asleep, I'll work on Writing, so she can write during the day. During the day, I'll study Charisma, Cooking, Gardening, Social Networking, and Alchemy, from books. I'll save Logic, Handiness, and Painting until I'm grown, in case I get a profession that uses those skills for performance. And when Mama is available, I'll ask her to tutor me in Guitar.


Eshu: Solar, my son. I am proud of you, on this, your aging day. Solar: Gaaaah! Geez, Dad! Don't scare me like that. I'm not writing a horror book, you know. I don't have the skill. Yet. Eshu: Do not fear your father, my son. Solar: Yeah, yeah, OK. I'm busy now. Later, Dad!


Astral: Mama, I just got a phone call from someone who said there's a rumor going around that you have been rummaging through people's trash cans! Fourteen of your friends have sworn off you. “I know. It doesn't matter, though. I don't need them, anymore. You kids have made plenty of friends, and you don't need mine, now.” Astral: I suppose. Still, it's not fair. Who would lie about you like that?


Obgu: It's Sunday morning, and I still feel fine, although I know I could slip away any time. I'll just keep rocking here. All is well. I don't even mind the cold. Author's Note: That rocking chair is something else! Put some food down there, and he's happy as a clam. I have decided to pull up the ladder for the day. He can pee himself, if need be, and when he does go, it will not route-block anyone, I hope. I did worry about zombies during the full moon, but they just hung around. Maybe because they liked having that rocking elder as a target, more than the sane ones upstairs.


“Your Daddy seems happy, so let's just work on preparing ourselves for the future. I'll tutor the youngest in turn, and they can paint in turn, while the older ones work on getting in shape. Cosmo: But, will Aurora and I even earn any skill points this way? “I don't know. But it is still good to establish the habit. You'll be teens, yourselves, in just a few more days, after all.”


Solar: I can't believe I got fatigued before I even got one Athletic skill point. But at least I can play kicky bag to finish the job. Astral: Yeah, I get it when you're done, because I didn't get a point, either.


“There just aren't enough skilling options for all my children. But at least the youngsters aren't too stressed, as they take some time to play. The teens, on the other hand, stay hard at work building up all the skills they can.”


“And as the sun goes down, I realize that there are no zombies tonight, so I put a plate of food down for Obgu, and let him relax in his rocker and pull up the ladder. I won't worry about him now, because clearly, he's just waiting to die. I wonder if he didn't know what he was doing last night. Oh, but it was scary, with the zombies out and him refusing to come inside. But for all I know, he was staying out there, on purpose. I hope that when I go senile, I won't worry my family so.”


“With the royalties we got today, I buy several rocking chairs, enough for my husband, my dead lover, and whatever other dead, undead, or just elder visitors we might have. Tomorrow, I pay bills and protection, so I want to get as much done today as I can afford. And I know that no tombstones will be blocking us now, as there simply is no room for them in our little covered area.


“Obgu approves. Good.”


“Whew! I am glad today is a school day. I paid the mob, so I need to focus on writing a bit, to earn enough money for meals and bills, and having the kids out of the house really helps. I can't worry about tutoring them if they aren't here to tutor.”


“I'm glad I get to spend a bit of time with you, Obgu. I don't have a clue how much longer you have with us.” Obgu: I am happy in my rocker. What are the rules of this game, again? “Don't you remember? You have 10 logic points!” Obgu: The horsies jump on everyone, right?


Solar: Another evening of exercise, and then homework, and a little bit of fun before everyone goes to bed. Astral: I need more than a bit of fun. I am so stressed! I barely improved my grade at all today at school. High school is hard! Solar: Same here. At least I have all night to get my mood up.


Solar: But I need to spend most of the night working on my writing. Mama has assigned me the task of writing a best-selling science fiction and a best-selling fantasy novel. Two best sellers! That's a tall order for someone my age.


“Now, let's all pray to Plumbob that you get to school safely and have a good day, and learn a lot. Author's Note: Yeah, they're listening to the music box, but with a picture like that, I couldn't resist.


“I'm proud of you children, doing so well in school. And now it's time for Cosmo and Aurora to have their birthday. “In honor of the event, I want to announce that I have chosen Aurora to be my heir. It seems the most practical choice, for several reasons, and I do hope none of you will be jealous of her. She has a lot of responsibility ahead of her.”


“Aurora is my heir because she's an alien, and will be able to stay up all night taking care of babies and toddlers, and she's a female, so she'll be able to have babies out of wedlock, if necessary, and because she has such a different look from her sisters, clearly carrying some of my genetics to pass on to a future generation.”


“Cosmo, you go ahead first, and tell us what trait you chose.” Cosmo: I'm all about making friends, so I picked Charismatic. “Really? You already have so many friends. Do you really need more?” Cosmo: Always! Besides, the Charisma skill is good for so many jobs!


“And what about you, Aurora?” Aurora: I chose Athletic, because I want to be able to beat up anyone who dares to threaten our family! I am ashamed to admit that as a child, I gave in to fear, even though I was supposed to be brave. But now, I will learn how to fight, and stand against all comers! “Very good! I'm proud of both of you. Happy birthday!”


Aurora: It seems so peaceful with just the two of us awake, and everyone else in bed. Solar: Yeah. Enjoy it while you can. When the kids grow up, there will be four of us up all night. Aurora: It's too bad Mama can't stay up all night to teach us. She knows Martial Arts! I want to learn it.


Eshu: Why have you not yet joined me in the afterlife? Obgu: The rocking chair is too comfortable. Eshu: Is is very comfortable. Let's rock together for the rest of the night.


Obgu: We'll just keep this one between us open for Jade. Eshu: She is young, yet. It will be more than two weeks before she joins us. Obgu: I can wait. Author's Note: I confess, after the full moon, I realized I was grateful, and now I pull up the ladder whenever possible, in case he dies. I want his tombstone outside.


Obgu: Why did you leave the school today, walk halfway across town, and then randomly start doing your homework? Cosmo: The school is broken, I swear! You know we haven't had a schoolbus come for us the last three days, even though they weren't snow days! It's the school's fault! Anyway, I did go back to school. Obgu: Oh, go upstairs and study!


“Four glitches in three days? The school definitely needs work. I'm writing a petition to the city leaders right now to have it fixed.” Author's Note: At this point, I deleted the old school, and installed a new one in the park across the street. No bus? No problem. And it will be easier to spot truant children who were IN THE BUILDING, but decided to just go walkabout during the day. It may not fix the glitches, but it will be easier to spot them and deal with them, at least.


“Being the reason we even have the school in the first place does have its perks. I have the power to make some real changes. Now, the school is set up right across the street, in SummerHill Park. They may still close the school for bad weather, but if it's open, then you kids do not have to rely on the schoolbus, nor on me to drive you there. You can walk together across the street. And I'll be watching through the window, to make sure you don't play hookey again!”


“Now, everyone needs to do their homework before dinner. You can have fun afterwards, but I will have no slackers in this family! Your grades are far too important! The entire town is counting on this family to pull us out of the apocalypse, so we all must work hard. “Until we go senile. If any of you want to do something about that, I'd be very glad of it.”


Vulcan: LOOK, MAMA! I HAVE LEVEL 5 PAINTING! “That's wonderful, darling! And you're best friends with your step-father, who is an elder. You know, if you paint a few pictures of family members doing things, and elder friends, you could be well on your way to bringing back Moodlet Managers.”


“And I just published 'The Passion of the NeenerNanners,' a best-selling romance. With that, and Solar's 'Alien Avatar With a Kabonker,' it brings our Writer's Guild count up to five! “So I recommend Solar sticks to science fiction and fantasy, and you, Vulcan, stick to humor and satire, while Astral sticks to trashy novels and mysteries. We'll get the writer's guild complete in next to no time. Except for the history. That will have to wait until Forensics is cleared.”


Valedictorian: We finally have all five of us here for the conclave. Now, if B-one will just stop playing air guitar, and B-two will wake up, maybe we can get some real planning done. They're just doing too well. sGnomeman tried hard, and it encouraged me to try again. They solved the schoolbus problem, but we're not finished, yet. There have got to be some other options for us. We will NOT give up!


Author's Note: And here I will leave you for this chapter. See you next time, when the last of the children will become teens, and the gnomes will surely attempt some other method of making our family's life harder than it needs to be. Happy Simming!

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