Alphabetepic Apocalypse Prologue

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Presentation Description

The apocalypse is about to begin, with a twist.

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Prologue Setting the Stage for Serious Stress:

Prologue Setting the Stage for Serious Stress

Slide2:

“Order in the court! The Occult Court of Eschaton will now come to order, Michelle Simself presiding. We will begin with roll call.”

Slide3:

“Representing the plantsims: 'Mr. Big,' Nawwaf Ebadi.”

Slide4:

“Representing the vampires: Count Robert Macarevich.”

Slide5:

“Representing the robots: Brittany Simself.”

Slide6:

“Representing the matchmakers: Allison Gibson.”

Slide7:

“Representing the gods: Jumbok IV, and his entourage.”

Slide8:

“Representing witches and simselves, as well as acting ambassador for Bigfeet, ninjas, witchdoctors, and hermits: Michelle Simself, the Infallibly Good.”

Slide9:

“We will hear the case of Ragnar Rock, docket number AJ237Z. Mr. Rock, how do you plead?” Ragnar: You haven't charged me, yet. “So you plead guilty?” Ragnar: Nope. Not guilty to whatever charges you're throwing at me.

Slide10:

“Very well. Mr. Ebadi, will you please present your evidence.” Nawwaf: Well, last Saturday night, he got some Plantophic-X potion, and spiked the juice at a club downtown, so that a lot of people who didn't even have gardens became plantsims! Count Robert: I know! It was the Club Crypt-o-Night! Most of my coven became plantsims, and when they headed outside into the sun, they burned to ashes!

Slide11:

“I remember that day. I had to rush funeral arrangements for twenty-five vampire-plantsims, before someone realized they could survive by installing a garden lamp above their coffins.” Brittany: Yes, and don't forget the servo-plantsims, always craving water, and then running amok.

Slide12:

Allison: Half of those sims were on dates. Do you know how many refunds I had to give after that night? And I've been sued by a bunch of sims who said I should have seen it in my crystal ball, and foretold the whole mess. Brittany: Don't they know you are a matchmaker, not pre-cognizant? Allison: Apparently not. Plus, he skipped out on his restaurant bill. They're suing me, too.

Slide13:

Count Robert: Who cares about restaurant bills and a few robot repair jobs? He wiped out most of my coven! It's mass murder! I want to toss him into the Cauldron of Doom and watch him burn, like they did!

Slide14:

Count Robert: Boil and burn, Ragnar Rock! Burn!

Slide15:

Count Robert: Buuurn!

Slide16:

Count Robert: BUUURRRRRNNNNNN!

Slide17:

Jumbok IV: The gods of Jumbok approve. We like burnt offerings. And the punishment is fitting. He burned twenty-five vampire-plantsims, and so he should burn, as well.

Slide18:

Nawwaf: I have another idea: Let's set him to use the telescope every night, and force-feed him cheesecake. With a houseful of twin alien babies, he'll be bibbledy in no time. “Bibbledy is good. I like the idea of driving him to distraction.”

Slide19:

Brittany: But remember, there is a limit to how many sims can live in a house. Even if he has babies every three days, someone will have to take the older ones away to make room for the new ones, and he'll only ever have to deal with a maximum of seven children, at a time. Allison: Phooey. That's not enough. He needs to pay for his crimes for a long time. That's twenty-five counts of murder!

Slide20:

“Allison is right. For twenty-five counts of murder, he needs something really special! And I'm sorry, Count Robert, but burning once just isn't enough. No, he needs something severe, and drawn out reeeeeaaaaalllly long.”

Slide21:

Ragnar: Ummm, guys? You're not following proper court procedure here. There's supposed to be formal charges read, and then evidence presented, and I'm supposed to have a chance to give a defense, and then the jury deliberates, and THEN, if I'm found guilty, only then does anyone even talk about sentencing.

Slide22:

Nawwaf: I suppose we could put him in prison, with twenty-five elixirs of life. Count Robert: You forget, a bottle of elixir of life gives only fifteen days of additional life. Vampires are immortal! The number of days he stole from my coven cannot be counted. “This is true. We need something very special.”

Slide23:

Ragnar: Hellllooooo! I'm still here, and trying to defend myself! Can you guys even hear me?

Slide24:

“HEY! I have a fantastic idea! Twenty-five counts of murder, right? Well, there are twenty-five lifts in an apocalypse! What do you say we make him do an apocalypse twenty-five times? I'll let him go through college, and then save a back-up right after he graduates. Then, he can start the apocalypse with the first lift, and after his family finishes that one, I'll re-load from the back-up, and he can do another one, with the second lift in the list, and so on. It will be EPIC!”

Slide25:

Count Robert: One apocalypse for each of my vampires? I LIKE it!

Slide26:

“I'll use the power of boolprop to get him an entry-level job, in the proper alphabetical order. After that, the rest of his family can lift the remaining restrictions for that particular apocalypse in whatever order they choose. Then they'll do it all over again, until each restriction is lifted first. Hehehe. He'll have to do one where he lifts Law Enforcement first. What a useless first lift!” Count Robert: It's good, but he'll stop suffering after he dies, even as his family carries on without him.

Slide27:

Count Robert: I like your plan, Michelle, but I do want a bit more than that. “How about a free elixir of life, for each apocalypse?” Count Robert: No. How about... :whisper whisper:

Slide28:

“Oh, Count Robert, I like the way you think. Yes, I think that can certainly be arranged.”

Slide29:

Ragnar: What? What can be arranged? You can't give sentencing in secret! Twenty-five apocalypses is bad enough! Now you're going to “arrange” something and you won't even tell me what it is?

Slide30:

Allison: I'm not pre-cognizant, but I do have excellent hearing. I approve the arrangement. Brittany: I also approve. Nawwaf: I didn't hear it, but I know Count Robert and Michelle enough to know it has to be good. “Very well. With a majority vote, sentence is passed. Court adjourned.”

Slide31:

Ragnar: Yipes!

Slide32:

Alphabetepic Apocalpse Using rule set found here: Apocalypse Challenge – Ultimate Edition (http://web.archive.org/web/20130123132905/http://apocalypsechallenge.kaleiope.com/FreeTime%20Apocalypse.html#top) I will have to play through 25 times, with a new first lift each time, done in order, which makes it both alphabetical and EPIC!

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