Chapter 1

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Clovis Badass founds Merovingia, a Sims 2 Apocalypse town, following the Alphabetocalypse rules found at boolprop.net

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Badass Alphabetocalypse:

Badass Alphabetocalypse Using rule sets found here: Alphabetocalypse at Boolprop.net (http://boolprop.net/viewtopic.php?f=52&t=590) And here: Apocalypse Challenge through Bon Voyage (http://apocalypsechallenge.kaleiope.com/Bon%20Voyage%20Apocalypse.html) Using ONLY one download, found here: Mod the Sims – Job Seeking Noticeboard (http://www.modthesims.info/download.php?t=378097) Adult Start

Chapter 1:

Chapter 1 Founding Merovingia

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Meet Clovis Badass Clovis: HEY! That's MISTER Clovis Badass to you. Shut it. I'm your Goddess and Creator, and can kill you with a click. Continuing... He is named after King Clovis*, whose biography can be read at www.badassoftheweek.com (warning – adult language, sex and violence, because he's a badass). * http://www.badassoftheweek.com/index.cgi?id=20093312580

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Since Clovis here is an adult, I take the Adult Start Disadvantage, which means I can counter that with a moderate advantage. I choose Fisherman's Dream, which allows him to settle on a beach lot, and to utilize fish, regardless of restrictions. Of course, there's no fishing or swimming until Medical is lifted. But, hey! Beach!

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I am also playing this as an Alphabetocalypse, which means that the jobs must be taken in alphabetical order. To enable that, I am using my one and only mod – the Jobs board. Other than that, I have no CC, mods, hacks, or fixes. The advantage of using a jobs board is countered by the fact that sims have no choice in which jobs they will try to lift. The order is bound to be a bit awkward, especially with things like Military, Medical, Science and Slacker having to marry in or wait for a very long time.

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So, Clovis, how do you like your new house? Clovis: It stinks. It looks ridiculous, and there is no furniture. That's not true. You have a bed, toilet and sink inside, and at the back is the jobs board. And you still have $1433 left for other furnishings, which I suggest you save until after you get a job, so you know what to buy.

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Clovis: OK, Goddess. I'm an Ambassador's Intern, and I need skill in Body. You'll also need skills in Mechanical and Charisma, so buy a bookcase and a mirror, as well as a boombox. And be nice, because you need a lot of friends in this career. Clovis: I don't do nice.

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With a fridge, counter and grill, he has enough to eat, and a boombox, bookcase, chair, mirror, and phone fill out the rest of his needs. He has just a trifle left over, which will probably be enough to pay the bills tomorrow, but it's not enough to pay the weekly protection. I'm doing the $150 x weeks played method, until Criminal career is listed. And yes, that's Criminal, not Life of Crime, so filling the fridge might become an issue, thanks to alphabetical order.

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Clovis: I like working out, but it does make me stinky. Keep at it, Clovis. I want you to have all the skills you need in time for your promotions. No loitering at the upper levels, because you don't have the skills. Clovis: Well, I happen to agree with you on that, so I won't complain this time, but don't tell me what to do, Creator.

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Clovis: Hey, you pervert! Stop peeping at me while I'm sponge-bathing. Oh, relax, Clovis. You have a censor blur. Anyway, it's just to show the readers how you're roughing it. Clovis: Yeah, well, I prefer to rough it in private. If I could see you, I'd wallop you.

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Clovis is 0/7/10/8/0. Yep, absolute slob, outgoing, super active, playful, and mean as heck. He's a Sagittarius, which is described as “jovial and carefree.” SNERK! I wonder what the original warrior-king's zodiac sign was. Clovis: I'll bet that warrior king had better ways to work out than just jogging in place. I'll bet he got to lift weights, and thwack things with axes. That's a good work out.

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It hasn't started snowing yet, but it IS winter, and Badass is outside throwing waterballoons at his neighbors, and not even wearing his sweater. Clovis: Waterballoons are fun! And I'm way too badass to worry about catching cold. Well, that's one way to befriend sims, I suppose.

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OK, Clovis, time for a bit of one-on-one socializing. Specifically, find out what their jobs are, and if they are good potential spouses for you, or your heirs. Clovis: Yeah. Arranged marriages are the best things for my kids. They'll be way too badass to marry for love. Yeah, well, find your own wife first, Clovis.

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Neither of those two women were suitable, but he befriended them. A lucky chance card got him a promotion to Spelunker! Maybe he can afford a few walls soon. However, in the meantime, he needs to practice his rousing battle-cries outside in the cold.

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Allyn: Hi! I'm Allyn Platz, and I want to be the Legacy Spouse for this challenge. Clovis: But we have negative chemistry. I don't care, Clovis. She's an astronaut! She's the one. Arranged marriages are badass, remember? Clovis: But... Negative chemistry!

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Clovis: So, Allyn. Can you cook? Allyn: Sure! I can make hotdogs! Tasty hot dogs! Clovis: Not even hamburgers? Allyn: There are no hamburgers in space, Clovis. Everything's in a tube. So, burgers in a tube equals hot dogs!

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Clovis: Hahah! Now I don't have to worry about that stupid carpool! True. And you can invite friends over, now, as well. Assuming you can make some friends. Clovis: Hey, with enough lucky chance cards, I won't even need friends. Dude. You still need friends. And there are UNlucky cards, too. Clovis: Unlucky chance cards are for losers. I'm too badass for an unlucky chance card! I hope so. I really, truly do.

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Amaya Tomyoy is a Surgeon. You WILL befriend her. Clovis: But today is my day to skill. Skill tonight. Today, make friends. You need her. If you don't marry Allyn, you'll marry Amaya. Clovis: Darned arranged weddings. At least they're badass.

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Another promotion! Congratulations. Now, if you'll just look down by the beach...

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It's a cat! Befriend it now, so you have a head-start at adopting it later. Clovis: I prefer dogs. CAT! Cats clean themselves and are much easier to care for during an apocalypse. So, befriend every cat you can, buster. Clovis: Are you SURE you can kill me with a click? Actually, it might take as many as three.

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Clovis: OK, kitty. I don't like cats, but the Creator says to befriend you, so let's be friends. After a few interactions, you might try training it, so it also has a bit of a head-start for a career. It's a good way to build up relationship, while you do something useful. Clovis: SIGH. You can't just let me be on Free Will, can you, Creator? Nope. It's an apocalypse. I'm micro-managing. Befriend the kitty!

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Told ya so. Clovis: Alright, Creator. Still, it's lucky you're a Goddess, because my namesake believed in the power of women to prophesy, or something. Otherwise... Yep. I fully expect you to convert to my religion, once you lift Hopelessness and get married. Your wife is my prophetess. So there. Clovis: Which one? Amaya or Allyn? Both. They're both my prophetesses, and you will convert, to please whichever one you marry. So there.

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Well, look at you, with a fully-enclosed house. Clovis: Hey, I'm badass enough to deal with the cold. But I got tired of my guests needing to be thawed out. Of course. You're such a considerate host. Clovis: And it took almost all my money, too! I'd better get a promotion soon.

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Halfway there! Way to go, Clovis! Just keep working out and building those skills, though. This next promotion is a tough one. Even a lucky break at a chance card won't help you, and you're already running behind on your skills. Clovis: Yeah, yeah. I know. You worry too much. I'm not some loser who can't build up his body skill, you know. Just give me an axe, and I'll be ripped in no time. Sorry. No axes. You'll have to make do with yoga. Clovis: Hmmph! Yoga is for pacifist losers.

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Alright, Clovis! You're a Dread Pirate! As a reward, you may go socialize with that dog over there. But don't get your hopes up. Big dogs make lousy apocalypse pets, at least until Medical is lifted. Clovis: Gee, thanks, Creator. But I do desperately need some fun and socialization, so yay. Yeah, just remember to stay away from the big ones with glowing eyes, OK? I don't want any werewolves until Business and Culinary are both lifted. That nightly hunger hit is deadly. Clovis: Werewolf? Really? Alright! I see your point, of course, but I sure hope one of my heirs gets to be one. It sounds totally badass!

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Clovis: Hey, Creator, did you know that building snowmen builds both fun and social? No other sims or pets needed. I'm so smart. You should totally just let me do my own thing. I mean, why didn't I think of this before?

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That's why. That's not very badass of you, Clovis. I thought you were so tough, and could stand up to the cold. Of course, it might help if you had put on your sweater first, but still... Just not livin' up to your name, there, Mr. Badass. Wake up! NOW!

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Just for that, Clovis, you shall now be known as Mister Freezy Pants, until further notice. Clovis: You wouldn't dare call me that! Ha! Watch me! Go inside, Mister Freezy Pants. You're freezing, tired, and starting to stink. Clovis: Oooh, if you weren't right, and incorporeal, I'd totally whack you right now.

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How's the training coming, Mister Freezy Pants? Clovis: Please be quiet, Creator. You're damaging my calm. And I need to get this next body point in time for tomorrow, so I can get that next promotion. Carry on, then, Mister Freezy Pants. Clovis: Grrr.

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Is that green cloud coming from you, or the food? Clovis: Both. And there are flies in my food, but I'm so badass, I just look at it as extra protein. Yay, you. Just don't get food poisoning, OK? Clovis: Badasses don't fall victim to poison. We inflict it on others. I shall teach my children all the nuances of the fine art of poisoning and other forms of assassination. I'm sure you will. Carry on, Mister Freezy Pants. Clovis: Poison. Hmm... I don't have to see her to poison her. I just have to see her food. :quickly hides turkey sandwich:

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Alright, Clovis. For that stroke of brilliant luck, becoming best friends with your future bride, and knocking out a 10,000 point want for getting 5 best friends, at the same time, for a total of 14,000 points at once, you have redeemed yourself, and I shall no longer refer to you as Mister Freezy Pants. Clovis: Thank you, Creator. And since I'm glowing with happiness, I shall refrain from searching out your food.

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Driving to work platinum! Sweeeet! Clovis: Never doubt the Badass. We get things done. Why do you think I chose you for my founder? Have a nice day at work, Clovis.

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Come on Clovis! You can do it! Just one more promotion to lift Adventure and Hopelessness! Clovis: I am confident and prepared. Nothing can go... Wait. I don't want to jinx it. Darn tootin! Do NOT get a bad chance card at this stage of the game, or so help me, I'll start over and make you suffer even more! I saved a back-up really early, just in case.

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Clovis: Creator? I can see you now! That's because you have lifted Adventure, as well as Hopelessness. Now, don't get used to it, but from now on, you will be able to see me, from time to time. Even your heirs will be able to commune with me directly, as you do. Well done, Clovis! I'm very proud of you!

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Thanks to Clovis' excellent badassitude, we can now use any career rewards that can be placed, including my favorite Jumbok IV, or in this case I shall call it the “Idol of the Fiery Goddess of Clicky-Doom To All Enemies of the Faith”! By the way, Clovis, when those eyes glow, it means that I'm working my mojo somewhere or other. I have other neighborhoods, and plenty of sims to punish. We can also enjoy one aspiration reward, as Clovis found it during his adventures. Clovis? Care to show us what you found?

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Clovis: Nope. I'm too busy. Going back to work. I need lots of money to build up the house for the babies. Babies? Since when are you a family man? Clovis: Since I found all these Smart Milks! My Badass Babies are going to be the best in all the land! Being badass is about more than just having a hard body, you know. It takes real brains, and courage, as well as physical strength. And Smart Milk will give my babies that extra boost they need to be strategizing geniuses and tactical experts. Plus, they'll be able to understand the nuances of the fine art of poisoning and other forms of assassination?

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Clovis: You understand me well, oh Great Goddess! Ha! So, you've finally converted to the faith, have you? Clovis: Indeed! Although I complained, I realize that your careful and controlling guidance is what has allowed me to achieve this pinnacle of greatness. It is to you I owe my success. Aw, shucks. I couldn't have done it without your badassery, Clovis. I'm glad we finally see eye to eye. It will be a pleasure watching your family follow in your footsteps.

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Whatcha studying there, Clovis? Clovis: Cooking! I want to be able to prepare better meals for my family. My bride-to-be may be satisfied with “tubular hamburgers,” but my children will receive more substantial nutrition. Good idea! My idol may boost the moods of followers of my faith, but I don't want you depending on it. After all, you only get one idol, and I'm not going to carry all the weight. Clovis: Of course not, Goddess. After all, my children will never develop to their full potential as Badasses, if they never have to struggle against anything. Some help is good, but too much is damaging to their character.

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Clovis: Hmm, these tubular hamburgers are quite tasty. Not quite up to flat ones, yet? Clovis: No, but it will come. I think, perhaps, I should quit my job when the phone lines open up, so that I can devote myself more fully to the task. Good idea. Plus, you'll be home to befriend the animals. You need three cats, as quickly as possible.

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:whispers: Don't take this the wrong way, Clovis, but I like to watch you sleep. Clovis: zzzsnork!” Huh? Evil vampire stalker! Where is he? Calm down, Clovis. You just had a bad dream. No one will hurt you while you rest. I'm standing guard. Clovis: Huh? Oh. OK. You take the first watch. I'll take the second. No vampires are gonna... zzz...

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Oh, phooey. And just after I promised to stand guard. I can't stop him; that's against the rules. But I promised to protect Clovis. Fine. I'll protect HIM, but his stuff can go away. It's time to upgrade, anyway, and this way, I don't have to worry about what to do with the old stuff. Hey, Gordon! Do me a solid and take the cheap sink and toilet, and maybe that ugly chair and bookcase.

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Or Clovis can be a badass, and get up to chase the villain off! Yeah, Clovis!

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Hehe. My founder rocks!

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Wait. What? I thought Clovis chased you off. Now you're taking stuff? What could you have possibly taken? There's nothing out there! What happened to taking the old stuff I want to upgrade, huh? Lousy burglar.

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And again. Please tell me you're stealing those awful stuck beach towels that my guests left behind to clog up the beach. I'd very much like to be rid of THOSE.

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OK, seriously? Now you're panicking? Dude. He's stealing SAND. Just the remnants of sandcastles that have been covered by the snow. And here I was, trying to upgrade your ugly furniture...

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Look around, Clovis. Absolutely nothing is missing from your home. He didn't even take the car.

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Clovis: What kind of a goddess are you? You promised to stand guard, and then you sent a BURGLAR! To steal this ugly junk, yeah. He was supposed to take that awful bookcase, and the ugly chair, and the cheap toilet and sink, so that I could buy better stuff, instead. As it is, I'll just have to wait until someone lifts Business.

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Clovis: That is completely beside the point. I feel defiled. Oh, come off it, Clovis. You haven't been defiled. He didn't even touch you. You're just angry because you didn't get to beat him up, to show your mad fighting skills. Anyway, what happened to struggle being good for the character, anyway?

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Clovis: It is true that struggle builds character. Well, I'm glad you agree with me.

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Clovis: But I've already maxed my career! I don't NEED to build character! Sigh. Fine. Have your hissy fit. I'm sure you'll feel much better afterwards. In the meantime, I'm just going to go switch to another neighborhood for a while. See ya, later! Clovis: Wait, whoah! Don't leave me hanging. I hate it when you leave me hanging.

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Do you? Do you really? Then, might I suggest you calm down? Clovis: Calming down, Goddess. Please, continue here. Hmmm... I guess you've got yourself together. I suppose I can stay. Clovis: Thank you, Goddess. I'll just get back to studying cookery, shall I? Yes, I think that would be best.

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Feeling more badass now, Clovis? Clovis: Yes, thank you. Sheesh. Well, I guess even the strongest among us have our triggers. Clovis: At least he wasn't a vampire burglar. I hate vampires.

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OK, Clovis. You're not going to like this, but as I said, it's time to upgrade. You have earned plenty of money, and it's time to get this house ready for your bride and babies to come. Clovis: Yes, Goddess. But why wouldn't I like that?

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Clovis: Woot! Burning food is fun, when it's for a reason! And I don't have to worry about starving today, so I don't mind the waste. Yes, but it would be bad, if you had little ones to feed. That's why I wanted you to do this now. Speaking of NOW, please get out of the room, and lock the door behind you.

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Phew! You're really stinky from the flames, but you can wash your hands in the living room, while the fire does its work. Bye bye cheap bed! From now on, it's level 3 energy all the way, until a Security Pet allows for the best beds. And it's time to re-do the house. We want the best floor and wall coverings, and the best furnishings we can have, to get the environment score up.

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Clovis, I love you, but your decorating style leaves something to be desired. Clovis: What? Red is the color of blood! It's good for us Badasses. And I got all the good furniture to be as comfortable as possible, and boost the environment score. So you did. Good for that. It's just... Well... Not to my taste. But you're the one who has to live in it, so whatever floats your boat.

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Alright, Clovis. You can go back to bed, now. I'll stand guard, and no one will harm you. Although, I might let them steal your stuff. Don't hold it against me. I have reasons. Clovis: Alright, Goddess. Anyway, I'm too excited about what I'll be doing in this tent, soon. Woohoo with my bride! I can't wait till this afternoon to give her a call.

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On Tuesday afternoon Clovis uses his car to pick up all his most important best friends. Yes, they are ranked, according to priority. First, Allyn Platz, who will be his bride. Then Amaya Tomyoy and Brian Vijayakar, potential spouses for the heir and heiress of the next two generations. Last is Marisa Bendett and Robert Siew, whose careers must be lifted after Law.

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First things first, get Allyn to move in, so she can start getting to know the future spouses of Merovingia, while you go out and pick up some more, as soon as they get off work. Get them all here for Allyn to know. Your marriage can wait until Wednesday. Clovis: Sure thing, Goddess. I do like her, you know. We have no chemistry, but we're good friends, and I think we'll get along just fine.

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After running around collecting the future spouses and introducing them to Allyn, Clovis is once more quite stinky. But the sponge bathing goes faster now, with a slightly better sink. Clovis: Hehe. I hope that burglar walks by right now, and gets an eyeful. Riiiight. Aren't you cold?

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And then it's time for a bit of romance. Allyn had two ReNuYu Portachugs in her inventory, so after drinking them, the happy couple went from negative chemistry to two bolts! Clovis: She still doesn't roll my wants, Goddess, but I suppose it will have to do. Not exactly a born romantic, are you, Clovis? At least you're in love.

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Clovis, do you take this woman to be your wife? Clovis: Yeah. Allyn, do you take this man to be your husband, even though he's a mean slob, and you're a nice neatnik? Allyn: Sure do! Then I hereby pronounce you husband and wife.

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The next morning, Allyn heads off to work feeling ridiculously happy. She still needs a few skills, but her performance today, and the family's friendships should guarantee her a raise, just as soon as she gets those last points. One more promotion, Allyn, and you'll lift the Military restriction!

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Although he'll likely be senile by the time next Tuesday rolls around, Clovis still greets the walk-bys and asks about their careers. Adam Tse is a CEO! Easy Business lift! Clovis: Adam, you have to stick around and meet my wife when she comes home from work. I want her to be your friend, so you will come over and marry my daughter when she grows up. Adam: Duude! I've always wanted to be part of a legacy! How old is your daughter? Clovis: Well, she's not born, yet, but I'm sure I'll have a daughter, and you can marry her when she grows up. Adam: Righteous, Dude!

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Adam: So, like, if your wife becomes a general, we won't have to be best friends to come over? Clovis: That's right. The streets will be safe enough for anyone to come visit, any time. So, I'll expect you to come every Tuesday to befriend my daughter, whenever she is born, so you'll be ready to marry her as soon as she grows up. Adam: 'Cause that's not, like, totally pedophilic at all. Clovis: No. She'll be an adult by then. And you're not aging. Arranged marriages are a long-standing apocalypse legacy tradition. I hope you'll like becoming a Badass.

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That evening, Clovis introduces Allyn to Adam. Allyn: Goddess, if it is your will that I should arrange this marriage for my as-yet-unborn daughter, of course I will. Please tell me he's a good man. He's a good man. I'm sure of it. And easy early lift! Allyn: Thank you for easing my mind. I shall befriend him now. Don't take too long. You still have a couple of skill points to earn.

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Speaking of which... Come on, Allyn! You can do it! Just one more skill point! Clovis: Mmm, now that she has her mechanical skill up, she is quite attractive. She rolls my wants, Goddess! See? Faithful sims are rewarded.

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Clovis: Are you a good dog, Max? I think you'd make a great guard dog for my future babies. Yeah, at this point I don't care what kind of pet you get, since we haven't seen a cat for ages. Get him, if you can, Clovis. We'll just have to put up with a filthy dog.

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He even knows some tricks, already. Commanding a pet to perform tricks is one of the fastest ways to build up a relationship.

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Just in time, Clovis! Now, I know you've been stocking up on left-overs, which you can feed to your pets, but you go ahead and use today's food allotment on a pet dish, OK? You need to make sure Max is fed, while you train him to eat sim food. Clovis: Yeah, I get it. Scold for eating pet food, praise for eating sim food, and try not to clean the plates up before the dog gets them.

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Clovis: Hey, little fella! I've seen you around lots of times. Want to join our house? We've got lots of left-overs on the roof!

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OK, Clovis, I'm glad you socialized with the walk-by dogs when you were lonely. I still would have preferred a cat, but since you already had a friendship going, it took no time at all to adopt. Good job. And Tucker knows a couple of tricks, as well. Hopefully, they'll both reach the tops of their careers in time to stop you from becoming senile.

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Help! HELP! Allyn! Stop complaining about the lack of televisions and save my idol! Clovis, you need to get these dogs trained as quickly as possible!

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Family dog-training is a good way to bond. Still, I hope that Allyn finishes that training in time to finish her own. Just one more Charisma point, and she'll get that promotion.

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Allyn: And that's why I think burglars are bad. Wonderful speech, Allyn. I'm sure it will go over really well at work. Now that you've got that final skill point, you can lift Military restrictions, and focus on training those darned dogs.

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Training is easier when you have a Goddess watching over you. Still, the dogs need to have their needs met, too. Don't wear them out, OK? They need good moods, as well as tricks, to advance in their careers.

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Although THAT training really is vital. No more dogs chewing on my idol!

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And that. Take care of their needs, and the skills will come.

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Oh, flergle! Max is already an elder! Why couldn't I tell that? What a waste of time and effort, training him up, when we can't keep him. As soon as someone walks by, Clovis, I need you to give Max away to them, and keep your eyes out for another pet, OK? Especially a cat.

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Clovis: So, Mitch, you're old. How would you like an old dog to keep you company in your old age? Mitch: You're kind of rude, you know that? But, sure, I'll take the dog. I like dogs. Clovis: Great! He's asleep over there, enjoying the rare fine weather.

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All right, Allyn! You are now a General, and have lifted the Military restrictions. Sims can now go to community lots, if they have 10 Body skill points. Once the journalism restrictions are lifted, they'll be able to move out. Once Education is lifted, teens with 10 Body points will be able to go to college. It's a great day for Merovingia!

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With another restriction lifted, it's time to get cracking on making those babies! After all, there's not much time left before Clovis is too old and senile. So, Allyn quits her job in the Military, and the two start making out like rabbits. It takes several tries, but they enjoy it so much!

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Clovis: I love my wife, Goddess. And yet, you don't roll wants to do anything with her. Please stop rolling wants for objects you can't have. Roll something fulfillable, please. Like a want to have a baby. Please roll that want. Or at least the want to woohoo with your wife. You've never rolled that.

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Allyn: Learning is a vital part of the human existence. That is why I am proud to be instrumental in the eventual founding of Merovingia's future college. Yeah, way to go, Knowlege sim! Keep rolling those wants for skill points! Allyn: Also, I want to become a Criminal Master Mind. Because it will be fun. And here I thought you were so nice. AFTER the babies are grown up a bit, please.

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On a rare warm night, everyone enjoys taking the opportunity to use the beach. Building sand castles is a good, fun way to build Creativity points. Even Tucker likes watching the waves.

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Of course, for sims like Clovis, the real fun is in destroying the sandcastles. Allyn looks on indulgently. As long as he's destroying his own puny castles, and not her pretty ones, she's happy.

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The next day is also surprisingly warm, and Allyn, heavily pregnant, builds sandcastles to build her Creativity, so she can eventually become a Criminal Mastermind. Meanwhile, Clovis continues to train Tucker. No other animals, except for Max, come to visit, and he is doomed to a short, senile existence as an elder. But at least he can enjoy the time he has. Clovis: I'm still here, you know. Stop talking about me as if I weren't in the room.

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Tucker has just one more promotion to go, in order to lift Security! That means the best beds for all, which is great. But I do wish we could have lifted Service. Poor Clovis! Clovis: I'm still HERE! He won't hear me, or understand me, or... Clovis: HEY! I'm not senile, yet! No, but you insist on sticking with the same, unfulfillable wants, and I'm a bit ticked at you. You love your wife, and find her attractive, but even after flirting and backrubs and making out, you still don't roll any wants for her. It's annoying.

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Poor Tucker. He's a good dog, and really doesn't deserve this. It's why I wanted a cat. Cats take longer to train, but they keep themselves clean. No tubs required.

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It's strange. After weeks of pretty solid snows, I'm now getting days on end of only light snow, or nothing. It's great for Allyn. She's racking up the happiness points, thanks to her wants to gain skills. As for Clovis, well, he's badass enough that being attacked by a crab won't bother him for long.

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Finally! A chance at another pet! Please, be an adult, this time, and not an elder! Quick, Clovis! Do whatever it takes to adopt her.

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Or not.

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Allyn, on the other hand, really clicks with Abbey. The two are fast friends. QUICK! ADOPT HER! Allyn: I can hear you just fine, Goddess. I'm pregnant, not deaf.

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Poor Tucker is just miserable, but thanks to a lucky chance card, he has his final promotion, and lifts Security Pet! Now the family can enjoy beds of any rating! Thank you, Tucker. As a reward, I will give you away to a good home, where you won't have to suffer, and will be able to take a nice, hot bath every day.

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Allyn: OK, Abbey. You have a job as a Service Pet, and the first thing to do is to Shake! See? Just like this. Abbey: Woof. Allyn: No, honey, that's Speak! We're learning Shake.

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Clovis: Oh, Goddess! I'm so upset! I'm going to grow up and go senile, and die of old age, instead of going out in glorious battle! Yep, you are. But you know how I said I saved a back-up, a long time ago? Maybe, if things go really well, I'll go back to that back-up, and play differently, without the apocalypse. Maybe, in another life, you'll get your 5 top-level businesses. Clovis: Ah! That would be so good of you, Goddess. Thank you.

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Allyn: Oh, Clovis, I know it's hard for you right now. But just think! You lifted Hopelessness off of Merovingia, and established a dynasty! You'll never be forgotten. Clovis: I guess that is pretty badass. Allyn: No one is more badass than my Mr. Badass!

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Clovis: Oh, I don't know about that, Allyn. I've got a good feeling about that baby in there. My little Badass is going to live up to his name. Or her name. Allyn: Better be a her, so she can marry Adam. Clovis: I know. But Badass men want fine, strapping sons! Hehehe. They don't even see the glowing eyes behind them.

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Allyn: Oh, GODDESS! The baby is coming! Babies. You mean babies. Allyn: What? TWINS?

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Clovis: Goddess, may I present to you the next generation of Badasses. We dedicate them to your service, and to lifting the restrictive, err... restrictions under which Merovingia suffers. And what will you name these two new servants of mine? Clovis: Well...

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Clovis: This is my son, Fat Henry Knox, named after a totally badass warrior in the American Revolution. He was the first American Secretary of War, he signed the Declaration of Independence, and he literally created the American Artillery from scrap. Also, the first American military training academy, the National Guard, the Navy... Oh, and they named Fort Knox after him. Oh, you mean this guy? http://www.badassoftheweek.com/index.cgi?id=57276631074

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Allyn: And this is my daughter, Boudicca, named after a warrior-queen of the Iceni, in first century Britain. She was so successful in battle that, even though she destroyed London, there is now a statue of her near Parliament. She won every battle, until the last one, including destroying the Ninth Roman Legion, a full-strength legion, full of veteran soldiers. Despite her eventual defeat, she is remembered as one of Britains greatest heroes. Ah, yes! I've always loved Boudicca. http://www.badassoftheweek.com/index.cgi?id=158183026542

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And with the birth of Generation 2, an heiress and a spare, I think I will finally call it a day. But don't worry. I won't leave my sims hanging. I'll be back soon for more Badass Alphabetocalypse!

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