Ch 9 - Marriage

Category: Education

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QUESTIONS YOU’VE GOT: 1) What I appreciate about guys/girls is: ___________________ 2) What I’d like to understand about guys/girls is why they: ________________________________________ 3) What I’d like to know about _______________ is _______________________ .

“To become one body” : 

“To become one body” “To become:” life-long process which begins on the wedding day. “one body” unity of two people in all dimensions, including physical, psychological, and spiritual. “…Husbands should love their wives as theirown bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the Church because we are members of His body.” EPHESIANS 5: 21-32

Slide 4: 

In his book, "The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work,” Gottman discusses behaviors that he has observed in marriages that are successful and those that are detrimental to marriage based on his research conducted at his love lab in Seattle, Washington. He has outlined seven principles that will reinforce the positive aspects of a relationship and help marriages endure during the rough moments.

Slide 5: 

1. Enhance Your Love Maps. Know your partner, their dreams, hopes, interests, and maintain their interest throughout the relationship. 2. Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration. This means laying down a positive view about your spouse, respecting and appreciating their differences. 3. Turn Toward Each Other Instead of Away. Acknowledging your partner's small moments in life and orienting yourself towards them will maintain that necessary connection that is vital for the relationship. 4. Let Your Partner Influence You. It is important to maintain your own identity in a relationship, but it is equally important to yield to your partner and give in. If both partners allow one another this influence, then they will learn to respect one another on a deeper level.

Slide 6: 

5. Solve Your Solvable Problems. It is important to compromise on issues that can be resolved, which Gottman believes can be accomplished by these five steps: soften your startup, learn to make and receive repair attempts, soothe yourself and each other, compromise, and be tolerant of each other’s faults. 6. Overcome Gridlock. Major issues that cannot be resolved because both partners’ views are so fundamentally different involves understanding of the other person and deep communication. The goal is to at least get to a position that allows the other person to empathize with the partner's view, even if a compromise cannot be reached. 7. Create Shared Meaning. Create a shared value system that continually connects the partners through rituals/traditions, shared roles and symbols.

Requirements : 

Requirements Baptismal Certificates Confirmation Certificates Recent 2x2 photo Valid Marriage License from Civil Registrar Attendance of Parish Pre Cana Seminar Permission of the Parish Priest of the Bride Delegation form for invited officiating Priest Publication of Banns Canonical Interview with Parish Priest

Symbols : 

Symbols The symbols in the Sacrament of Matrimony are the couples themselves. Traditions: Rings-marriage agreement; eternity Candle-God’s presence within the union Veil-union of couple clothed as one Cord-infinite bond of marriage Coins- good luck; prosperity Bible- God’s word is part of the union

Rites : 

Rites Welcoming the Bride Procession Homily Nuptial Rites Solemn Promise Exchange of Rings Thanksgiving Nuptial blessings Registration

Matter and Forms : 

Matter and Forms Rite of Marriage (state of intentions) Celebrant: And so, in the presence of the Church, I ask you to state your intentions. 1. Have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage? 2. Will you love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives? 3. Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up accordingly to the law of Christ and his Church? Celebrant bless and pray for the couple (consent).

Matter and Forms : 

Matter and Forms Giving of Consent (joined hands) Groom: I, (GN), take you (BN), to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you all the days of my life. Bride: I, (BN), take you (GN), to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you all the days of my life.

Matter and Forms : 

Matter and Forms Blessing and Exchange of the Rings Celebrant bless the rings Groom (place ring on his wife’s finger): (BN), take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Bride (place ring on her husband’s finger): (GN), take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

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