LifeLessons Crowd Assemble

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Category: Education

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Slide 1:

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.

Slide 2:

Trust your crazy ideas.

Slide 3:

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Slide 4:

A day without sunshine is like… Night!

Slide 5:

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Slide 6:

Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?

Slide 7:

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Slide 8:

I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Slide 9:

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Slide 10:

She’s always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.

Slide 11:

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Slide 12:

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Slide 13:

Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Slide 14:

How can a cemetery blame rising prices on the cost of living?

Slide 15:

If you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone will be stupid enough to try and pass them.

Slide 16:

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.

Slide 17:

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Slide 18:

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

Slide 19:

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Slide 20:

When you’re swimming in the creek and an eel bites your cheek, that’s a moray!

Slide 21:

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Slide 22:

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

Slide 23:

I wished the buck stopped here as I could use a few.

Slide 24:

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.

Slide 25:

When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Slide 26:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Slide 27:

The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with watches you comb your hair in the mirror every morning.

Slide 28:

Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

Slide 29:

If you think you are a person of considerable influence, try ordering someone else’s dog around.

Slide 30:

Don’t worry about biting off more than you can chew; your mouth is bigger than you think.

Slide 31:

Always take a good look at what you eat. It’s not important to know what it is, but you should know what it was.

Slide 32:

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

Slide 33:

The easiest way to eat crow is when it’s still warm. The colder it gets the harder it is to swallow.

Slide 34:

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

Slide 35:

Never miss a chance to shut up. Well-timed silence has more eloquence than speech.

Slide 36:

Good judgment comes from experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Slide 37:

Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.

Slide 38:

Trust in God, but lock your car.

Slide 39:

Learn the rules and then break some.

Slide 40:

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Slide 41:

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Slide 42:

Tell me what you need and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.

Slide 43:

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself…where is the ceiling?

Slide 44:

Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.

Slide 45:

I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Slide 46:

My reality check bounced.

Slide 47:

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

Slide 48:

I don’t suffer from stress. I am a carrier.

Slide 49:

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

Slide 50:

If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.

Slide 51:

When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Slide 52:

When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question: “How would the Lone Ranger handle this?”

Slide 53:

Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.

Slide 54:

Don’t cry over anyone who won’t cry over you.

Slide 55:

A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.

Slide 56:

Look for the absurd in everything and you will find it.

Slide 57:

The other line moves faster.

Slide 58:

When you say you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out.

Slide 59:

It ain’t the whistle that moves the train.

Slide 60:

The audience for the last day of a conference resembles a tree full of owls.

Slide 61:

Try to learn something about everything and everything about something.

Slide 62:

Delay is the deadliest form of denial.

Slide 63:

When in doubt, mumble.

Slide 64:

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That will do them in.

Slide 65:

Teachers are ordinary people engaged in extraordinary work.

Slide 66:

A great teacher never strives to explain his vision. He simply invites you to stand beside him and see for yourself.

Slide 67:

If you drop the ball, don’t complain about how it bounces.

Slide 68:

The wheel that squeaks the loudest often gets replaced.

Slide 69:

Muddle increases as the square of the number of people involved.

Slide 70:

The universe is intractably squiggly.

Slide 71:

A computer program is like a nose--sometimes it runs, sometimes it blows.

Slide 72:

A collision at sea can ruin your entire day.

Slide 73:

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.

Slide 74:

Anytime you get a mouthful of too-hot soup, the next thing you do will be wrong.

Slide 75:

When in trouble or in doubt, Run in circles, scream and shout!

Slide 76:

For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Slide 77:

When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision.

Slide 78:

Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn’t have to do it.

Slide 79:

The more we disagree, the better the chance that at least one of us is right.

Slide 80:

Experience varies directly with the equipment ruined.

Slide 81:

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Slide 82:

In every work of genius, we recognize our rejected thoughts.

Slide 83:

The length of a minute depends which side of the bathroom door you are on.

Slide 84:

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Slide 85:

No matter what, there are makers, takers and fakers.

Slide 86:

The only problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.

Slide 87:

He who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away.

Slide 88:

If they give you ruled paper, write the other way.

Slide 89:

I must go now, for there go my people, and I am their leader.

Slide 90:

Logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence.

Slide 91:

We’ve talked about it a lot, but we haven’t thought about it yet.

Slide 92:

People hear half of what you say, understand half of that, believe half of that, and remember half of that!

Slide 93:

I’d be a pessimist, but it wouldn’t work.

Slide 94:

One who is confused in purpose cannot respond to his enemies.

Slide 95:

No one’s life, liberty or property are safe while the legislature is in session.

Slide 96:

You always have to get something else done first.

Slide 97:

Anytime things appear to be getting better, you have overlooked something.

Slide 98:

We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once.

Slide 99:

On budget, on time, on specification --pick two.

Slide 100:

A carelessly-planned project takes three times longer to complete than estimated. A carefully planned project will take only twice as long.

Slide 101:

People who are afraid to ask dumb questions are surprised when they make dumb mistakes.

Slide 102:

One accurate measurement is worth a thousand expert opinions.

Slide 103:

I’m tolerant of your fruitcake-like beliefs.

Slide 104:

Nothing is often a good thing to do, and always a clever thing to say.

Slide 105:

You won’t skid if you stay in a rut.

Slide 106:

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Slide 107:

Did the brain fairy leave a quarter under his pillow last night?

Slide 108:

Brilliant! But what if we want to use a plan that works?

Slide 109:

If you get enough clowns, you’re going to have a circus.

Slide 110:

Climb the ladder of success, reach the top, and you’re over the hill.

Slide 111:

Trust everyone--but cut the cards.

Slide 112:

I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

Slide 113:

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

Slide 114:

A meeting is an event at which minutes are kept and hours are lost.

Slide 115:

You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Slide 116:

After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

Slide 117:

Let each of us aspire to inspire, before we expire.

Slide 118:

The goal of education is to replace an empty mind with an open mind.

Slide 119:

It is better to build children than repair adults.

Slide 120:

I would be most happy if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists of building enough bookshelves.

Slide 121:

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

Slide 122:

He who fails to prepare, prepares to fail.

Slide 123:

If you are going through hell, keep going.

Slide 124:

Time is that quality of nature which keeps events from happening all at once. Lately it doesn't seem to be working.