SBCP Fall Winter 2011 Grade 1

Standards Based Change Process Grade 1: 

Standards Based Change Process Grade 1 Kamehameha Schools Hawai‘i Fall and Winter 2011

Standard: 

Standard Indiana State Standards Core Standard 5 Writing: Literary Text Discuss ideas for writing. Write brief narratives and descriptions, using varied words to convey a central idea. Revise writing for others to read. Standard indicator: 1.5.2 Write brief expository (informational) descriptions of a real object, person, place or event using sensory details.

Benchmark: 

Benchmark Students will write information on a single topic. Students will write a brief informational piece that tells about something real.

Procedures for Collecting Evidence Fall : 

Procedures for Collecting Evidence Fall Students brainstormed possible topics together as a class. Students shared at least five details on their chosen topic with a partner. Students were given the option to draw a picture about their topic. Students wrote an informational piece about their topic. Students were given one writing block to complete their piece.

Procedures for Collecting Evidence Winter: 

Procedures for Collecting Evidence Winter Students brainstormed possible topics together as a class. Students did a “turn and talk” with a classmate and shared details about their topic. Students used circle maps to identify at least five details about their topic. Students wrote an informational piece about their topic and were given the option to draw an illustration. Students were given two writing blocks to complete their piece.

Rubric: 

Rubric Not Met Approaching Met Exceeds Ideas Topic is confusing and unclear with only random details. Topic is clear but details are inaccurate, random and/or insufficient Topic is clear and includes relevant details Topic is clear and includes relevant, connected details Organization Piece has details but is missing an opening and a closing Piece has details and an opening or a closing Piece has details and an opening and a closing Piece has an opening or closing that catches the reader’s attention

Fall 2011: 

Fall 2011

Winter 2011: 

Winter 2011

Not Met Example – Fall 2011: 

Not Met Example – Fall 2011 Surfins you haf to bleson The BorD Swimming soccer Water ParK Beach Kona Topic is confusing and unclear. The writer uses random words instead of writing about a topic.

Not Met Example #2– Fall 2011: 

Not Met Example #2– Fall 2011 My Topic is adote Disney resorts. At Disney resorts it has Tish coowtride . For 1 ntite itcost 100 and more blooles . You ned titis to go in. Piece has a word that 2 veteran teachers cannot decipher. Can you find it? There’s also another questionable word. Can you find that one?

Approaching Example– Fall 2011: 

Approaching Example– Fall 2011 My topic is waikoloa I want to swimming and you netet a yellow Rest Bane I went ynder the water fall and thair wus a gucose I went on the sliD three times with My anuty I was Siting on her lap I went Bay Mysellf and My anuty went Bey Her Sallf I Love going to waikoloa it is fun. The writer states what her topic is but it is not an acceptable opening. The details are random. Piece has a closing.

Not Met Example – Winter 2011: 

Not Met Example – Winter 2011 Fish is slipre soo tha can swim faster. Fish have gils soo thay can breeth . Fish have fins soo thay can swim. Fish can camol flog frum preter . Fish have slime soo thay can slip awa frum preters fish have tells soo thay can swim good. Topic is clear but details are random. Piece does not have an opening or a closing.

Approaching – Winter 2011 : 

Approaching – Winter 2011 Bats live in a cave. Some bats eat fish. Bats can make there own House. Bats are feree . Bats have ecowlocation . I’d like you to learn about Bats. It was fun I’d lik to lean more about bats. Topic is clear. There is no opening. Details are random. Piece has a closing.

Met Example – Winter 2011: 

Met Example – Winter 2011 We live in space so do you want to learn about it? Space is big. The sun is the onley star in are soler situm . Some planets are big. Some are small. We live in a galecee cold the Mellcyway . A planet is peces of rock and dust. Some of the planets are Maras and Earth. Do you wont to learn more about space? because I do! Topic is clear and includes relevant details. Piece has a catchy opening and closing but does not have enough relevant, connected details to make it an exceeds piece.

Students’ Strengths and Weaknesses: 

Students’ Strengths and Weaknesses Strengths Fall: Students were able to choose a topic. Most students had an understanding of what informational writing is. Winter: Students did a good job writing interesting openings. Most students were able to write at least five details about their topic. Weaknesses Readability was difficult due to incomplete sentences and random ideas. Still working on appropriate closings.

Instructional Improvements/Next Steps: 

Instructional Improvements/Next Steps Fall: Writing skills: complete sentences, some standardized spelling, punctuation. Staying on one topic. Teaching about opening and closing sentences to help with organization. Winter: Choose student exemplars that show strong openings. Teach mini-lessons on closings. For students who are ready, mini-lessons that will focus on writing relevant details in a logical order.

Reflection: 

Reflection Fall: Students have a good attitude toward writing. They need to work on basic writing skills and need guidance about topic selection. They need to learn how to write opening and closing sentences for their pieces. Winter: Students surprised us with their pieces. They were better than we expected! We were pleased with topic selection, openings, and the number of details that most students were able to write.