SBCP Fall Winter 2011 Grade 3

Standards Based Change ProcessGrade 3 : 

Standards Based Change ProcessGrade 3 Kamehameha Schools Hawai‘i Fall and Winter 2011

Standard : 

Standard Standard 4: Writing Processes and Features Students find and discuss ideas for writing and keep a list of writing ideas, Students write clear sentences and paragraphs that develop a central idea. Students progress through the stages of the writing process, including prewriting, drafting, revising, and editing multiple drafts.

Benchmark : 

Benchmark Students will be able to create paragraphs with topic sentences, interesting details, and supporting facts

Procedures for Collecting Evidence : 

Procedures for Collecting Evidence Day 1: Choose a topic by selecting a book Read and take notes about topic Day 2: Brainstorm/Plan Informational Piece Write rough draft Revise paper, if time permits Day 3: Reread paper and revise paper Write final draft Edit final draft

RubrIc : 

RubrIc

Fall 2011 : 

Fall 2011

Winter 2011 : 

Winter 2011

Not Met Example – Fall 2011 : 

Not Met Example – Fall 2011 The cars gas makes the car go and the engens run. The fule is like the baderi. When some cars starts some fog comes out than the fog turns into a big problum. than people becomes mad than some people fight. When some people comes out ancar edent the air bag Topic is not clearly defined. There is no introduction or conclusion. Writing includes a list of facts with poor sentence structure.

Met Example – Fall 2011 : 

Met Example – Fall 2011 The History of Money Long before money was made you’ll have to trade things for stuff you need or want. Years later, the King of Lydia made the first coin. It had a picture of a tiger on it. Days after that, chinese people started to use chinese paper money and then American Indians started to use wampum as money. Wampum was made from beads from shells. In 2002, some European nations switched to the euro. You can use a euro at Austria, Belgium, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Ireland, Italy, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, portugal, and spain. Today’s coins are a mixture of copper and nickel or zinc. Coins that are blank are minted at the rate of 600 per minute. Broken coin are melted and made into new ones. Dollors were made next. Most dollors get worn-out in 18 months. Worn-out dollors are sent to be sredded. Over 400 million dollors are made in replacement. People move money from on account to another. Even if banks are closed you can still withdraw or deposit money at an ATM. Don’t you think the history of money is cool? Topic is easily identified throughout the piece. An introduction, body, and conclusion is included with paragraphs. Sentence structure includes some variety but tends to stay on the more general level.

Not Met Example – Winter 2011 : 

Not Met Example – Winter 2011 The first ballet performens was performed in franc. The franc teurnd balay to butiful art. Girls are calld ballerinas and boys are calld dancers. In the beining of class student warm up on a wooden bar connekted to the wall. The sudents put there leg on the wooden bar the sterech. little ballirinas can not get ther point shous till thay have bine in baley of sevrl year. they need to be 10 or older to get there point shous. At free time ballet dancers have ballet on ther mind. After rehersl ballet dansers get ready for the show the ballirinas pat ther costums on and ther makeup on. The bansers put on ther costums then it is time for the show. after the show ballirinas and the dansers tack off ther costums. Ballirinas do some triks then they take of ther ther costums the dansers take of ther costums. Then it is time to go home the ballirinas and dansers thank the techers the go home. Writing consisted on rewritten notes with no clear focus, paragraphing, or variety of sentence structure. Writing has no apparent engagement with the topic/audience.

Met Example – Winter 2011 : 

Met Example – Winter 2011 Ooo! Were going into space. In space astronotes feel weightless on the moon, so on earth they put on orange suits. and float on water so they get use to being weight-less. The orange suit helps them easy even though the suit is heavy. In the space ship people wear a t-shirt and velcro pants with zipper up pockets so their valubles don’t float away. In space astronotes wear white suits instead of orange suits, because when they go out of the space the pople in the ship can see them better. In the white space suit has oxygen, water, a parachute, and a headphone and a micorphone, so they can hear and talk to the people inside the space ship. When the astronotes are out of the space ship they feel weightless because there is no gravity, that’s why they float on the water so they get used to feeling weightless. In the space ship there’s something called a “bar code.” A bar code is where things are in stock and what’s out of stock. The cars that you drive have bar codes, too. Some tools on earth need chargers, but the tools that astronotes use are cordless and they don’t need chargers. One of the tools is a drill that can that can dig little pieces out of the hard moon. Also, the cordless tools help the astronotes if they’re in trouble. I like cordless tools they seem like a big help. I hope I can go up to space and float around the galaxy. I want to touch the moon and use cordless tools. Hopfuly I inspired people to go up to space and “Have Fun!” Topic is easy to identify throughout most of the piece and several details are given within each paragraph. Each paragraph focuses on one main idea.

Exceeds Example – Winter 2011 : 

Exceeds Example – Winter 2011 Do you know how money was invented? Well in the olden days people used to trade somting called a wampum for things. A wampum was like a belt made out of beads. Trading was before money was made though. Well people were running out of things to trade. People traded feathers, shells, and a wampum. To them these things were a form of money. These things were hard to get. Feathers blew away and shells broke. So people made coins. Some coins were gold! In 650 the Chinese started using paper bills instead of coins. Paper was much easier to carry. In 1295 an explorer named Marco Polo saw that the Chinese were using the bills he went back to his country and told them. He lived in England. But England did not copy the idea because they didn’t think the bills were real. In the 1500’s people started trading paper bills for coins. They could leave their coins with a goldsmith in something like a bank account. Like the checks we have today, if a person had a blank slip they could turn it in and collect money from someone’s account if the other person owed them money. Now we still have bills, but people make the designs with a machine. They make stacks of bills and cut them. Do you think the invention of money was cool? Sentence structure varies throughout the entire piece. Sounds like the writer, not mechanical. Each paragraphs flows well into the next.

Students’ Strengths and Weaknesses : 

Students’ Strengths and Weaknesses Strengths Fall: Majority of students do well with conventions (capitalization and ending punctuation). Winter: Topics are narrowed down into sub-topics Including introductions and conclusions Including topic sentences Adding more supporting details Weaknesses Fall: Notes were copied straight from text Unable to focus in on a subtopic Unable to form paragraphs Winter: Recording only key words and ideas when note-taking Writing sentences in a variety of ways Transitions from one paragraph into another

Instructional Improvements/Next Steps : 

Instructional Improvements/Next Steps Fall: Lessons on creating an using an outline, note-taking, introduction, and conclusion. Winter: Writing a title and using it to help create your introduction. Continue lessons on note-taking and finding key words. Start mini lessons on sentence fluency. Choosing topics and subtopics.

Reflection : 

Reflection Fall: Students entered third grade not being afraid of writing. In general they have strong writing skills such as writing in complete sentences and writing personal narratives. However, informational writing presents a challenge for them. Winter: Though students have shown improvement in organizing an informational piece, they still need instruction on developing a clear focus throughout their entire piece. Students made great gains from the Fall to Winter SBCP scores.