Chapter 5: Listening Actively : Chapter 5: Listening Actively Listening as a 5-step process : Listening as a 5-step process Receiving
Responding Slide 3: Receiving: seeing and hearing
How is listening different from hearing?
Being aware of noise pollution in order to better focus can help us become better receivers Slide 4: Attending: focusing on the information that you receive
largely determined by salience
It’s very important to develop your awareness to what, how much, and why you attend to certain things
External and internal factors influence the nature of attending
How do others help you know if you’re attending well enough to them? Slide 5: Understanding: interpreting the meaning of other peoples’ communication (messages, styles, patterns)
Understanding is not always based on previous knowledge
How do we discern between short-term and long-term memory? Slide 6: Responding: communicating one’s attention and understanding to others
Positive feedback—nodding, smiling, friendly eye contact, and leaning forward are all back-channel cues
Culturally based! Also consider values and moment-to-moment external influences.
Think of instances of misunderstanding others or when others misunderstand your communication… Slide 7: Paraphrasing and clarifying—summarizing what other people say in order to reach shared meaning and agreement
Notice the very distinct difference between summarizing to exercise respect for the other person, and summarizing in order to be coercive, hurtful, or doing it out of anger
It’s okay to politely but honestly ask people to repeat themselves! Slide 8: Recalling: being able to demonstrate you listened actively and remember what others communicate to you.
Recalling is also selective, but very crucial to relationships
Yes, recalling (like many other concepts of communication) is contextually-based, but let’s look deeper…mnemonics are helpful, Functions of Listening : Functions of Listening Comprehend: understanding information
Support: providing comfort to others
Analyze: evaluating messages and means of communication
Appreciate: listen for enjoyment
Discern: distinguishing sounds from one another in order to gauge others’ communication Slide 10: Remember these can occur simultaneously and overlap in any given encounter involving interpersonal communication
These shift instantaneously!
Our goal is to build the skills that help us shift between each of these Listening Styles : Listening Styles Action-oriented
Content-oriented Slide 12: How do you deal with conflicting styles based on certain situations?
Why is it important to perceive other peoples’ listening styles?
In what ways can we better incorporate understanding, compassion, and empathy into how we listen to one another? Cultural and Gender Differences in Listening : Cultural and Gender Differences in Listening What do we agree/disagree with? Why?
What are common stereotypes related to these categories and how might we take issue with them? Preventing Ineffective Listening : Preventing Ineffective Listening Selective listening: decisively attending to only portions of what someone communicates
Sometimes difficult to avoid
Improve by focusing on being present in the moment Slide 15: Eavesdropping
What are some serious ethical concerns when eavesdropping?
Can you think of a situation where you knew you weren’t eaves dropping but someone may have perceived your actions as such? Slide 16: Pseudo-listening: feigning attention within an interaction
How might this effect how you see yourself versus how others see you?
Critical think…why might you or others use pseudo listening if it doesn’t seem ethical or efficient in listening actively? What are the unspoken functions of pseudolistening? Slide 17: Aggressive listening: attending to others just to find an opportunity to attack them
Provocateurs—can we see different uses of provocateurs? How might they be playful? Unethical? Slide 18: Narcissistic listening: attending to others’ communication for the purpose of relating it to you
Ignoring what others say and directing conversation to you
Constantly taking the things others say and relating them to you Negotiating Listening : Negotiating Listening There is much to be said for people needing to listen more in order to create better relationships, but how people listen in also an important factor.
We also want to consider external or internal forces that influence listening at any given moment. Sometimes we cannot see them at play.