SPED 610 Project

Developing a Healthy Self-Esteem in Your Child/Child with Special Needs:

Amanda Ratzlaff M.Ed. Curriculum and Instruction Special Education 610 Developing a Healthy Self-Esteem in Your Child/Child with Special Needs

 Self-esteem is the way a person/child feels about themselves, but more specifically the personal belief that as a person “they are accepted, connected, unique, powerful, and capable” (Lavoie, 2002).  According to Cornelia Spelman, Master of Social Work and author, “Children develop self-esteem when their parents or other important adults show regard for their inherent value” (2003).  Personal assessment of self-esteem takes the ability to evaluate and compare.  Self-esteem is a feeling not a skill therefore, must be observed. :

 Self-esteem is the way a person/child feels about themselves, but more specifically the personal belief that as a person “they are accepted, connected, unique, powerful, and capable” (Lavoie, 2002).  According to Cornelia Spelman, Master of Social Work and author, “Children develop self-esteem when their parents or other important adults show regard for their inherent value” (2003).  Personal assessment of self-esteem takes the ability to evaluate and compare.  Self-esteem is a feeling not a skill therefore, must be observed. What is self-esteem?

Children with Special Needs:

Children with Special Needs Children with special needs may have a greater risk for low self-esteem therefore strengthening it is valuable to their success (Mulholland, 2008). Dr. Joel Desotelle , pediatric and neurological occupational therapists stated in his article that, “Regardless of a child’s age or cognitive ability, he or she is keenly aware of the differences between his/her abilities and those of other children or siblings, and the expectations of parents…many children with disabilities are unwilling to participate in activities that would benefit them because they are insecure, embarrassed, or lack confidence in their skills, perceived or real. This takes away opportunities to realize and develop the skills needed to be successful, which stunts their overall growth and development” (2008). Need to be in the right environment.

Slide 4:

In this informational video we will cover… 1 Children with High Self-Esteem 2 Children with Low Self-Esteem 3 How Parents Can Help

Children with high self-esteem:

Children with high self-estee m Lavoie, (2002) 1

Feel capable of influencing others in a positive way. Are able to communicate thoughts and emotions in various situations. Confidently approach new situations. Have a high level of tolerance for frustration. Take on responsibility. Keeps a proper perspective in most situations (positive or negative). Speak positive feelings about themselves. Holds an internal locus of control.:

 Feel capable of influencing others in a positive way.  Are able to communicate thoughts and emotions in various situations.  Confidently approach new situations.  Have a high level of tolerance for frustration.  Take on responsibility.  Keeps a proper perspective in most situations (positive or negative).  Speak positive feelings about themselves.  Holds an internal locus of control. Children with High Self-Esteem

Children with low self-esteem:

2 Children with low self-esteem Lavoie, (2002) encourages parents/teachers to watch for these warning signs

 Constantly belittle themselves.  Show evidence of learned helplessness. According to Lambie (2008) these children “have come to believe that fighting back does no good; they do not think anything they can do or say will change the outcome”.  Do not volunteer. Are perfectionist. Dependent on others. Excessively strive for acceptance. Indecisive. Have a low tolerance for frustration Very defensive. Doubt their judgment.:

 Constantly belittle themselves.  Show evidence of learned helplessness. According to Lambie (2008) these children “have come to believe that fighting back does no good; they do not think anything they can do or say will change the outcome” .  Do not volunteer.  Are perfectionist.  Dependent on others.  Excessively strive for acceptance.  Indecisive.  Have a low tolerance for frustration  Very defensive.  Doubt their judgment. Children with low self-esteem

What Parents Can do:

3 What Parents Can do Lavoie, (2002)

1.) Celebrate and acknowledge your child’s skills. “Children feel good about themselves when their interaction with their world is successful and acknowledged by those around them. As they grow and learn—to dress themselves, to build with blocks, to make a painting, to throw and catch a ball, to help others, and to make friends—their success gives them confidence to try new tasks” (Spelman, 2003). 2.) Improve their problem-solving and decision making skills. 3.) Teach your child that mistakes are okay and are inevitable. 4.) Praise the effort not just successes. 5.) Get your child involved; divide tasks to guarantee success. Desotellebelieves parents' need to find “just the right challenge” for their child. He states, “One of the reasons we tend to take away responsibility is because a child may not have the skills to complete the entire task on their own, so we do it for them. Try “grading” the task so they can at least do part of it. This gives your child the opportunity to use and develop important skills…The key goal is to find a way to get your child involved, even if it means all they are doing is holding the instructions or toolbox…the value to their self-esteem is immeasurable” (2008). :

1.) Celebrate and acknowledge your child’s skills. “ Children feel good about themselves when their interaction with their world is successful and acknowledged by those around them. As they grow and learn—to dress themselves, to build with blocks, to make a painting, to throw and catch a ball, to help others, and to make friends—their success gives them confidence to try new tasks” (Spelman, 2003). 2.) Improve their problem-solving and decision making skills. 3.) Teach your child that mistakes are okay and are inevitable. 4.) Praise the effort not just successes. 5.) Get your child involved; divide tasks to guarantee success. Desotelle believes parents' need to find “just the right challenge” for their child. He states , “One of the reasons we tend to take away responsibility is because a child may not have the skills to complete the entire task on their own, so we do it for them. Try “grading” the task so they can at least do part of it. This gives your child the opportunity to use and develop important skills…The key goal is to find a way to get your child involved, even if it means all they are doing is holding the instructions or toolbox…the value to their self-esteem is immeasurable” (2008). How Parents can help

6.) Allow and encourage your child to follow the normal trends of his peer group. 7.) Value your child along with their uniqueness (strengths, needs, and interest). 8.) Never compare your child to another nor allow them to. “We need to help our children see that it’s good that we are all different. We do not have to look like others or have the same skills or interest…We do not want our children to feel that in order to be loved they must be something they are not. And competition over things one cannot control, like physical attributes, only causes anxiety” ( Spelman, 2003). 9.) Promote participation in team sports/clubs of their interest. 10.) Offer support and encouragement never disappointment. :

6 .) Allow and encourage your child to follow the normal trends of his peer group. 7 .) Value your child along with their uniqueness (strengths, needs, and interest). 8 .) Never compare your child to another nor allow them to . “We need to help our children see that it’s good that we are all different. We do not have to look like others or have the same skills or interest…We do not want our children to feel that in order to be loved they must be something they are not. And competition over things one cannot control, like physical attributes, only causes anxiety” ( Spelman, 2003). 9.) Promote participation in team sports/clubs of their interest. 10.) Offer support and encouragement never disappointment.

References:

References Desotelle , J. (February/March 2008). Self-Esteem is Crucial for Children with Disabilities. Frederick’s Child Magazine . Retreieved July 20, 201l, from: http://www.amberhillpt.com/news_articles/ self_esteem.pdf Lambie , R. (2008). Family Systems within Educational & Community Contexts: Understanding Children Who Are at Risk or Have Special Needs. (3 rd Edition). Denver: Love Publishing Company Lavoie, R. (2002). Self-esteem: The Cause and Effect of Success for the Child with Learning Differences. Retrieved July 21, 2011 , from: http ://www.ricklavoie.com/ selfesteemart.html Lavoie, R. (2002). 20 Tips to Promote Positive Self-esteem. Retrieved July 21, 2011 , from: http://www.ricklavoie.com/ selfesteemart.html Mulholland, L. (2008). Nurturing Self-esteem in Your Child with Special Needs. The Exceptional Parent, 38(12), 36-37. http:// vnweb.hwwilsonweb.com Spelman, C. (2003). The Way I Feel Books: When I Feel Good About Myself. Morton Grove, IL: Albert Whitman & Company