Covenants in Marriage

Covenants in Marriage : 

Covenants in Marriage By Jill Kays& Audrey Atkinson

Is your relationship more covenantal or contractual? : 

Is your relationship more covenantal or contractual? The following questions will ask you to choose which of two statements are more like your values about marriage. It is possible to agree or disagree with both statements but please circle the ONE statement that is MOST like your values. There are no "right" or "wrong" answers, just answer the questions based on your ideas about how marriages should be. You don’t need to be married to answer these questions—just answer on how you think marriages should be.

Slide 3: 

A. If I were forced to choose, my marriage is more important than my personal goals in life. B. If I were forced to choose, my marriage is less important than my personal goals in life. A. It is reasonable for spouses to divorce if their goals in life are no longer compatible. B. It is not reasonable for spouses to divorce if their goals in life are no longer compatible. A. Commitment means sticking together for lif B. Commitment means exclusively sticking to someone, but that commitment could end if one person violated the marriage contract. A. Marriage requires negotiation and compromise B. Marriage requires commitment and sacrifice

Slide 4: 

A. Sacrificing my own needs would be harmful to my marriage B. Sacrificing my own needs would be helpful to my marriage A. "Us" (as a couple) is more important. B. "My spouse and I" (as individuals) are more important. A. Investing in myself is the best way to invest in my marriage B. Investing in my partner is the best way to invest my marriage 8. A. Marriage is a bond. B. Marriage is a choice A. Marriage is "until death do us part” B. Marriage is "until love dies.” 10. A. If we sought marital counseling, I would want to be encouraged to seek personal growth. B. If we sought marital counseling I would want to be encouraged to come together as a unit.

Scoring : 

Scoring Add up your total score based on the answer you gave using the chart below

What Your Score Means : 

What Your Score Means Contractual: 10-11 Somewhat Contractual: 12-13 Both Contractual & Covenant: 14-15 Somewhat Covenantal: 16-17 Covenantal: 18-20

What Does it Mean to be Covenantal? : 

What Does it Mean to be Covenantal? The relationship is the priority Sacrifice for the good the of the relationship Mutual commitment Making a vow or promise Can involve a spiritual component

God’s Use of Covenants : 

God’s Use of Covenants Throughout the Bible, God uses covenants to connect with people, or groups of people, to achieve a higher purpose Involves a commitment to a specific purpose and nothing can break this covenant Examples Noah, Abraham, People of Israel

Covenantal v Contractual : 

Covenantal v Contractual Covenantal Contractual Unconditional Relationship priority over individual Focus on commitment Conditional Individual goals, needs, and desires are priority Both parties must fulfill their side of the ‘contract’ for commitment to be maintained

Developing a Covenantal Relationship : 

Developing a Covenantal Relationship Come together as a couple and decide what you want your covenant to look like What tends to characterize your relationship? What do you want your future to look like? What is your vision for your marriage? What will your marriage covenant look like?

Developing Vision : 

Developing Vision Take time and talk with your partner about what God’s plan might be for your relationship. This vision will help guide and direct you through happy and difficult times alike. What do you want your marriage to look like in 10 years?

Common Qualities : 

Common Qualities

Covenant Statement Example : 

Covenant Statement Example Our marriage will be characterized by a commitment to meeting each other’s needs and open communication, while always being a team. We commit to keeping this promise to each other and always striving to meet this goal.