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Premium member Presentation Transcript Communication : Communication Seth and Brittany Rainwater Hope Couples Project Communication : Communication Communication is an important part of any relationship It takes hard work and consistent practice to be a good communicator No one is a perfect communicator, but this is not an excuse to not improve on communication skills There are some principles that can aid the communication process, no matter your skill level What Scripture Says: : What Scripture Says: Biblical scripture lays out excellent guidelines for healthy communication Not only does scripture reveal healthy communication skills, it encourages readers to make use of these skills The fact that communication is addressed in scripture reveals that all couples have the to potential to become better communicators What Scripture Says: : What Scripture Says: What does scripture say about communication? James 1:19 – “You should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Three main principles: Listening Thinking before speaking Patience What Scripture Does NOT Say: : What Scripture Does NOT Say: Unfortunately, an incorrect version of the scripture is often used to guide communication: “You should be quick to explain your side of the story, slow to listen and quick to become angry when you have to repeat yourself over and over.” These are the principles that are often substituted and result in poor communication: Not listening/Ignoring Speaking without thinking Anger/Frustration The Meaning of Communication : The Meaning of Communication Use these questions to learn more about what communication looks like in your relationship: What does communication mean to you? What does communication meant to your partner? Look for similarities and differences in the answers to these questions. Unhealthy communication is rooted in misunderstandings about what is being said and heard, which is often caused by differences in communication styles The Meaning of Communication : The Meaning of Communication Communication is: An act or instance of transmitting A process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior The Meaning of Communication : The Meaning of Communication What sticks out to you from the Webster’s dictionary definition of communication? The most important aspect from those definitions is that communication is an exchange This means that communication is a two-way process involving talking and listening The Meaning of Communication : The Meaning of Communication Hope Focused Definition of Communication: Communication is a Two-Person Process that relies on one person being Available to Listen, or receive the message, and the other striving to Relay a Message Clearly; the end result is Mutual Understanding Important principles: Two-Person Process Listening Relaying a message Mutual understanding The Meaning of Communication : The Meaning of Communication Communication is TALKING and LISTENING What Communication Is and Is Not : What Communication Is and Is Not Communication is: Two people alternating talking and listening, so that both have a chance to express their feelings and opinions so that they are heard by one another This requires one person attempting to relay a message clearly and another being available, both physically and emotionally, to hear the message Communication is not: One person just talking or just listening One person forcing a message at the expense of hearing what the other has to say One person ignoring the other because they disagree or dislike what is being Mutual Understanding : Mutual Understanding The Goal of communication is a mutual understanding Mutual understanding Each person understands the other as both have clearly expressed themselves and been fully heard by the other Mutual understanding means that both people clearly grasp what the other has said, as well as what they said themselves Mutual understanding is not the same thing as agreement Disagreement does not mean that the communication was ineffective or unhealthy Couples may communicate clearly, achieve a mutual understanding, but still disagree How To Communicate : How To Communicate Understanding what communication is, as well as what it means to you and your partner is just the foundation upon which healthy communication principles are built Healthy and effective communication takes time Especially if there is a long-standing pattern of poor communication styles Healthy and effective communication, just like any other skill, takes practice Do not give up or be overly discouraged if this change takes time How To Communicate : How To Communicate Hope Focused Approach to Communication Take turns talking Really listen to your partner, do not just think of the next thing to say Slow down the conversation Infuse conversations with loving statements Do not make assumptions, make sure you understand each other How To Communicate : How To Communicate Take turns talking Communication is a two-way process Failing to take turns is disrespectful and can lead to frustration Make sure that you are giving your partner plenty of time to express his or her feelings and thoughts Failing to take turns does not allow for understanding to grow Even if you have made your point clearly, not taking turns can prohibit true understanding as it does not allow your partner’s valuable point of view to be heard How To Communicate : How To Communicate Really listen to your partner, do not just think of the next thing to say There is a difference between “hearing” and “listening” Hearing is simply the intake of sound Listening is processing what was heard Paying attention to what is being said will not only help inform you on what you would like to say next, but it will make your partner feel valued and respected How To Communicate : How To Communicate Slow down the conversation Maintaining a reasonable speed and volume at which a conversation is conducted is crucial to talking and listening Talking too fast, or moving from one topic to the next too quickly can cause misunderstandings, confusion, and frustration Talking to loudly can cause the process to feel hostile and unsafe Slowing down the conversation does not mean trying to tackle difficult and complicated conversations all at once It would be better to have several small, healthy conversations that lead to mutual understanding over time than one big, messy conversation that causes more hurt or frustration How To Communicate : How To Communicate Infuse conversations with loving statements Using loving, or valuing statements, can help keep the communication focused on its ultimate goal; a better relationship Using loving statements can also help smooth what needs to be said and heard Valuing statements also includes non-verbal messages Smiles, holding hands, eye contact Devaluing statements can increase defenses and break down the process of communication, even if what is being said is done in a clear and concise way Devaluing statements also hurt the chance for healthy communication to occur in the future How To Communicate : How To Communicate Do not make assumptions, make sure you understand each other Assumptions are rarely accurate, and even when they are accurate, they can make others feel dismissed or unvalued Taking the time to clarify what you have said and heard will help increase the gains made from the communication, decrease possible future misunderstandings, and show value to each other Removing assumptions makes room for understanding Communication Vision Statement : Communication Vision Statement Take some time and discuss with your partner one of the communication principles that could be improved upon in your relationship Use the principles you just learned to facilitate the discussion Write down your vision statement and put it in a place that will remind you of it daily Example: “We will work to increase taking turns talking in our future discussions” Having a goal is an important part of growing in communication Communication Goals : Communication Goals Use the handouts and principles provided in this presentation the next time you need to have discussion with your partner Plan a time to have the discussion that will be as free from distractions or time-pressures as possible Have the Hope Focused Communication Principles handy and refer to them often during the discussion You and your partner will make mistakes in the future, but if you are willing to work together, these mistakes can offer unique opportunities for growth Hope Couples Project : Hope Couples Project HOPE COUPLES PROJECT at Regent University http://www.hopecouples.com Hope Couples Project (757) 352-4896 info@hopecouples.com You do not have the permission to view this presentation. In order to view it, please contact the author of the presentation.
Communication for Couples jennrip Download Post to : URL : Related Presentations : Share Add to Flag Embed Email Send to Blogs and Networks Add to Channel Uploaded from authorPOINT lite Insert YouTube videos in PowerPont slides with aS Desktop Copy embed code: (To copy code, click on the text box) Embed: URL: Thumbnail: WordPress Embed Customize Embed The presentation is successfully added In Your Favorites. Views: 3091 Category: Education License: All Rights Reserved Like it (0) Dislike it (0) Added: July 08, 2010 This Presentation is Public Favorites: 0 Presentation Description No description available. Comments Posting comment... Premium member Presentation Transcript Communication : Communication Seth and Brittany Rainwater Hope Couples Project Communication : Communication Communication is an important part of any relationship It takes hard work and consistent practice to be a good communicator No one is a perfect communicator, but this is not an excuse to not improve on communication skills There are some principles that can aid the communication process, no matter your skill level What Scripture Says: : What Scripture Says: Biblical scripture lays out excellent guidelines for healthy communication Not only does scripture reveal healthy communication skills, it encourages readers to make use of these skills The fact that communication is addressed in scripture reveals that all couples have the to potential to become better communicators What Scripture Says: : What Scripture Says: What does scripture say about communication? James 1:19 – “You should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Three main principles: Listening Thinking before speaking Patience What Scripture Does NOT Say: : What Scripture Does NOT Say: Unfortunately, an incorrect version of the scripture is often used to guide communication: “You should be quick to explain your side of the story, slow to listen and quick to become angry when you have to repeat yourself over and over.” These are the principles that are often substituted and result in poor communication: Not listening/Ignoring Speaking without thinking Anger/Frustration The Meaning of Communication : The Meaning of Communication Use these questions to learn more about what communication looks like in your relationship: What does communication mean to you? What does communication meant to your partner? Look for similarities and differences in the answers to these questions. Unhealthy communication is rooted in misunderstandings about what is being said and heard, which is often caused by differences in communication styles The Meaning of Communication : The Meaning of Communication Communication is: An act or instance of transmitting A process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior The Meaning of Communication : The Meaning of Communication What sticks out to you from the Webster’s dictionary definition of communication? The most important aspect from those definitions is that communication is an exchange This means that communication is a two-way process involving talking and listening The Meaning of Communication : The Meaning of Communication Hope Focused Definition of Communication: Communication is a Two-Person Process that relies on one person being Available to Listen, or receive the message, and the other striving to Relay a Message Clearly; the end result is Mutual Understanding Important principles: Two-Person Process Listening Relaying a message Mutual understanding The Meaning of Communication : The Meaning of Communication Communication is TALKING and LISTENING What Communication Is and Is Not : What Communication Is and Is Not Communication is: Two people alternating talking and listening, so that both have a chance to express their feelings and opinions so that they are heard by one another This requires one person attempting to relay a message clearly and another being available, both physically and emotionally, to hear the message Communication is not: One person just talking or just listening One person forcing a message at the expense of hearing what the other has to say One person ignoring the other because they disagree or dislike what is being Mutual Understanding : Mutual Understanding The Goal of communication is a mutual understanding Mutual understanding Each person understands the other as both have clearly expressed themselves and been fully heard by the other Mutual understanding means that both people clearly grasp what the other has said, as well as what they said themselves Mutual understanding is not the same thing as agreement Disagreement does not mean that the communication was ineffective or unhealthy Couples may communicate clearly, achieve a mutual understanding, but still disagree How To Communicate : How To Communicate Understanding what communication is, as well as what it means to you and your partner is just the foundation upon which healthy communication principles are built Healthy and effective communication takes time Especially if there is a long-standing pattern of poor communication styles Healthy and effective communication, just like any other skill, takes practice Do not give up or be overly discouraged if this change takes time How To Communicate : How To Communicate Hope Focused Approach to Communication Take turns talking Really listen to your partner, do not just think of the next thing to say Slow down the conversation Infuse conversations with loving statements Do not make assumptions, make sure you understand each other How To Communicate : How To Communicate Take turns talking Communication is a two-way process Failing to take turns is disrespectful and can lead to frustration Make sure that you are giving your partner plenty of time to express his or her feelings and thoughts Failing to take turns does not allow for understanding to grow Even if you have made your point clearly, not taking turns can prohibit true understanding as it does not allow your partner’s valuable point of view to be heard How To Communicate : How To Communicate Really listen to your partner, do not just think of the next thing to say There is a difference between “hearing” and “listening” Hearing is simply the intake of sound Listening is processing what was heard Paying attention to what is being said will not only help inform you on what you would like to say next, but it will make your partner feel valued and respected How To Communicate : How To Communicate Slow down the conversation Maintaining a reasonable speed and volume at which a conversation is conducted is crucial to talking and listening Talking too fast, or moving from one topic to the next too quickly can cause misunderstandings, confusion, and frustration Talking to loudly can cause the process to feel hostile and unsafe Slowing down the conversation does not mean trying to tackle difficult and complicated conversations all at once It would be better to have several small, healthy conversations that lead to mutual understanding over time than one big, messy conversation that causes more hurt or frustration How To Communicate : How To Communicate Infuse conversations with loving statements Using loving, or valuing statements, can help keep the communication focused on its ultimate goal; a better relationship Using loving statements can also help smooth what needs to be said and heard Valuing statements also includes non-verbal messages Smiles, holding hands, eye contact Devaluing statements can increase defenses and break down the process of communication, even if what is being said is done in a clear and concise way Devaluing statements also hurt the chance for healthy communication to occur in the future How To Communicate : How To Communicate Do not make assumptions, make sure you understand each other Assumptions are rarely accurate, and even when they are accurate, they can make others feel dismissed or unvalued Taking the time to clarify what you have said and heard will help increase the gains made from the communication, decrease possible future misunderstandings, and show value to each other Removing assumptions makes room for understanding Communication Vision Statement : Communication Vision Statement Take some time and discuss with your partner one of the communication principles that could be improved upon in your relationship Use the principles you just learned to facilitate the discussion Write down your vision statement and put it in a place that will remind you of it daily Example: “We will work to increase taking turns talking in our future discussions” Having a goal is an important part of growing in communication Communication Goals : Communication Goals Use the handouts and principles provided in this presentation the next time you need to have discussion with your partner Plan a time to have the discussion that will be as free from distractions or time-pressures as possible Have the Hope Focused Communication Principles handy and refer to them often during the discussion You and your partner will make mistakes in the future, but if you are willing to work together, these mistakes can offer unique opportunities for growth Hope Couples Project : Hope Couples Project HOPE COUPLES PROJECT at Regent University http://www.hopecouples.com Hope Couples Project (757) 352-4896 info@hopecouples.com