Sample student paragraphs (8th grade only)

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Introduction I am a student at Deltona Middle School in Deltona, Florida. My neighborhood is filled with crime and violence. Personally, I think it is because kids have no where to go after school. Knowing that you have a very large amount of money, I propose that you help out my community with three rather small things . With all the teenage boys that love video games, there is not ONE place we can go to play them. With all of the teens with skate boards and bikes, the closest skate park is a long drive away. And, all of the high schoolers with their new cars want to race them (and some do—although illegally). If they had a place to go to drag race, they could get the urge to drive fast out of their system, safely and locally.


Voice I know that you try your best. You’re a nice guy who actually cares about us kids. You’re kind, understanding and you try to be as friendly as possible. From these traits, one can obviously infer that you want what is best for the school. (That includes teachers, students, and even parents.) But here’s the thing, you’re the principal. You see what’s on the surface. As a student, I see what’s really happening. For example, I see how the teachers act when you’re not supervising. I see the kids behavior. So, if you really want to change the school for the better, you’re going to need help from an inside job. Help from someone who sees what’s really underneath. I know that our school will never be perfect, but does that mean we can’t try?

Support—developed and explained:

Support—developed and explained One thing that you can do to solve some of the problems with students’ grades or even behavior is the adjusting the classes and/or schedules. Two out of the five days a week we attend school are cut short in some way. Tuesday’s homeroom is reserved for bully-proofing and Wednesdays are early-release days. On each of these days, students are losing about an hour of the time that they could be learning in class. I propose that we just stop going to homeroom. That way, we would have extra time in each of our core classes, which could potentially raise the grades of students attending Deltona Middle School . I know bully-proofing is crucial for a healthy learning environment, but we could just have two or three bully-proofing seminars throughout the year. That way we are sending kinds an anti-bullying message and preserving class time.


Support-creative It’s second period. The bell rings. Quickly the halls fill up, making trying to get to class a life-sized obstacle course . Students should have more time to get to their classes because it is almost impossible to get in and out of the crowded hallways. Kids are having to run from one side of the school to another and don’t always make it in time. It’s really not something we can control. If we had another minute or two to get to class, maybe kids would learn more because they wouldn’t miss the first few minutes of class.

Concluding Paragraph:

Concluding Paragraph This, Mr. Bambrick, would be a perfect school. A school is only as good as the education it provides. In a perfect school, teachers are customized robots, class sizes are limited to one student, and education plans are customized and exact, and the students are, well, perfect . Lucky for you, however, as the Dalai Lama said, “Have no fear of perfection. You will never reach it.”

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