logging in or signing up assertiveness ivaturi_chaitu Download Post to : URL : Related Presentations : Share Add to Flag Embed Email Send to Blogs and Networks Add to Channel Uploaded from authorPOINT lite Insert YouTube videos in PowerPont slides with aS Desktop Copy embed code: (To copy code, click on the text box) Embed: URL: Thumbnail: WordPress Embed Customize Embed The presentation is successfully added In Your Favorites. Views: 233 Category: Product Traini.. License: All Rights Reserved Like it (5) Dislike it (0) Added: December 05, 2010 This Presentation is Public Favorites: 2 Presentation Description No description available. Comments Posting comment... By: rodianah (9 month(s) ago) sorry im forget to tell my email hanaidor@gmail.com, tengkyu once again Saving..... Post Reply Close Saving..... Edit Comment Close By: rodianah (9 month(s) ago) can you email me the ppt. tengkyu so much Saving..... Post Reply Close Saving..... Edit Comment Close By: Adrian3012 (13 month(s) ago) this is my email adriansyah.ch@gmail.com thanks for your kind Saving..... Post Reply Close Saving..... Edit Comment Close By: ivaturi_chaitu (13 month(s) ago) please forward me ur mail id Saving..... Post Reply Close Saving..... Edit Comment Close By: almatq (16 month(s) ago) plz allow me to down load it.....my exam will be from 29th plz Saving..... Post Reply Close By: ivaturi_chaitu (13 month(s) ago) please mail me ur id so tht i can send u the PPT Saving..... Edit Comment Close loading.... See all Premium member Presentation Transcript Slide 1: ASSERTIVENESS What is Assertiveness? : What is Assertiveness? What is it Not? How Assertive are You? Why? How do you develop Assertiveness? How do you begin? Communication Assertiveness Slide 3: Collection of Behaviors Stem from a belief Your needs and wants Important as other’s people’s ASSERTIVENESS Behavior Rainbow : Behavior Rainbow FIGHT (Aggressive) FIGHT (Submissive) ASSERTIVE Assertive Behavior : Assertive Behavior I stand up for my own rights, but I don’t violate your right’s. Submissive Behavior : Submissive Behavior Failure to stand up for your rights. Failure to express your thoughts, feelings and beliefs Aggressive Behavior : Aggressive Behavior I stand up for my rights I don’t care about yours. My rights are more important than yours. Principles of Assertiveness : Principles of Assertiveness Assertive I count You count Aggressive I count You don’t count Submissive I don’t count You count Submissive Aggressive I count You don’t count, but I’m not going to tell you that. What Assertiveness is and is Not : What Assertiveness is and is Not Personal responsibility Awareness of other people’s rights Honesty and Respect Rational and adult behavior Ability to Negotiate Confidence Getting your own way Winning every time Using “Quick fix” tricks Manipulating people Phases in Learning Assertive Behaviors : Phases in Learning Assertive Behaviors Project Analyze Look Speak up Phases in Learning Assertive Behaviors : Project Project yourself into past conflict situations See the common features Phases in Learning Assertive Behaviors Slide 12: Analyze Degree of threat you felt Select a scene to improve on Phases in Learning Assertive Behaviors Phases in Learning Assertive Behaviors : Look See the emotions, language, and self- image How do you change them? Phases in Learning Assertive Behaviors Slide 14: Speak up Plan a negotiating script or message Express in an affirmative manner Barriers of Assertiveness : Barriers of Assertiveness Negative image Fear of conflict Lack of communication proficiency Culture FEAR : FEAR alse vidence ppearing eal F E A R Shared information = Shared cultures : Shared information = Shared cultures No behavior or value is universal. Be flexible to accept differences. Be sensitive to verbal nuances and non-verbal cues. Know practices of other cultures. Self-Esteem : Self-Esteem Beliefs : Beliefs Conclusions we have reached from experience. We hold them to be true. They affect our overt behavior Self-Esteem : Both a CAUSE and EFFECT of Assertiveness Self-Esteem Bad with Shy numbers ordinary How do you see yourself? How do you label yourself? What determines Behavior : What determines Behavior Behavior Attitude Genes Environment Choice Slide 22: “ No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt Aggressive Behaviors : Aggressive Behaviors Excessive use of “I” statements Stating opinions as facts Putting others down Frequent use of ought and should Blaming others Showing contempt and being hostile Aggressive Expressions : That approach won’t work. You’d better do it. That’s only your opinion. You ought/should/must. It was your fault. Well, I blame you. Aggressive Expressions Submissive Behaviors : Submissive Behaviors Ingratiating attempts to accommodate the needs of other people Long rambling statements to justify the self Qualifying phrases “Filler” words Phrases that elicit others to ignore them Submissive Behaviors : It’s only my opinion. Maybe… I wonder if… Just… Sorry to bother you, but…. Would you mind very much… I seem to be hopeless at this. It’s not important really. It doesn't matter. Submissive Behaviors Assertive Behaviors : Assertive Behaviors Brief and to the point statements “I” statements Clear distinction between fact and opinion Open-ended questions to elicit thoughts, needs and opinions of others Resolution of problems Assertive Expressions : Assertive Expressions I believe… I’d like… I want/need… In my experience… My opinion is… As I see it… Tools in Communication : Tools in Communication Tools in Communication : Tools in Communication Body Language-55% Non Verbal cues : Non Verbal cues Non Verbal cues : Non Verbal cues Tools in Communication : Tools in Communication Voice-38% Tools in Communication : 7% Tools in Communication Assertive Replies : Assertive Replies Assertive Replies : Assertive Replies Writing Scripts : Writing Scripts First concrete step Confidence Choice of right words Basis of rehearsal DESC : DESC DESCRIBE What unwanted behavior has my Downer been displaying? EXPRESS How can I tell my Downer the way I feel about this behavior? SPECIFY What behavioral changes might I contract for ? CONSEQUENCES What rewarding consequences can I provide to my Downer for sticking to the contract? DESC Script : DESC Script Requesting Participation D E S C Simple Steps to Assertiveness : Simple Steps to Assertiveness Listen Assertively : Listen Assertively Common Non-Listening Behaviors : Common Non-Listening Behaviors Disguised Listening Distracted Listening Defensive Listening Distorted Listening Bad Listening Habits : Bad Listening Habits Criticizing the speaker and the delivery Listening only for facts and not feelings Not taking notes or trying to write down everything Faking attention Tolerating or creating distractions Bad Listening Habits : Tuning out difficult or confusing information Letter emotional words block the message Interrupting or finishing the other person’s sentence Biases and prejudices Not checking that you’ve understood Bad Listening Habits Two Ears, One Mouth : Two Ears, One Mouth Prepare physically and psychologically. Fight off distractions. Listen for speaker’s main ideas. Be sensitive to your emotional triggers. Listen to speaker’s side first. Two Ears, One Mouth : Reflect on differences of language. Do not trust to memory certain data that may be important. Listen actively. Repeat and clarify all key facts. Use positive body language to show that you are listening. Two Ears, One Mouth Understanding a foreign Accent : Understanding a foreign Accent Don’t pretend to understand. Don’t rush. Don’t shout. Don’t be rude. Don’t use slang. Types of Questions : Types of Questions Clarifying Question Example: “Is the process clear?” Probing Question Example: “Can you give me a specific example of an application of this?” Clarifying Questions : Clarifying Questions If I understand you correctly… Is that you what meant? I heard you say ________, did I understand you correctly? Your view is _________, is that right? Probing Questions : Probing Questions I’d like to hear your views/thoughts on… I’d like to understand your views on… Could you tell me about them? Would you tell me more about how you see the situation? I think we are approaching these from different perspectives. What does the situation look like from your perspective? Examples of Verification Statements : Examples of Verification Statements “I want to make sure that I give you complete instructions. Please recap what I have just said.” “I hope I’ve been clear so far. Perhaps you could repeat to me what you’ve understood. It will save us problems later.” Say what you want to Happen : Say what you want to Happen Say what you want to Happen : Use clear, direct requests or directives. Avoid hinting, being indirect, or presuming. Say what you want to Happen Assertive Requests : Assertive Requests Be Direct : Be Direct Be Direct : Be Direct Use Facts, not Judgments : Use Facts, not Judgments Use Facts, Not Judgments : Use Facts, Not Judgments Take Responsibility : Take Responsibility Take Responsibility : Take Responsibility Initiate Greeting Talk : Initiate Greeting Talk Conversational Do’s : Conversational Do’s Learn six magic questions. Speak with your ears. Be yourself. Talk in other person’s backyard. Show interest in others. Address everyone in the group. Know how to make a shy person feel part of the group. Conversational Do’s : Be alert. Be courteous. Be well –informed. Adjust to other person. Step in to fill an embarrassing void. Conversational Do’s Conversational Taboos : Conversational Taboos Off-color and discriminating jokes Personal relationships Cost of anything personal and income Controversial topics Conversational Taboos : Personal misfortune Demeaning terms Abrasive words or phrases Embarrassing questions Correcting another’s grammar or pronunciation in public Conversational Taboos Give and Accept Genuine Compliments : Give and Accept Genuine Compliments Look, Sound, Feel Assertive : Look, Sound, Feel Assertive Look and Sound the Part : Look and Sound the Part Learn your lines. Speak with more power and expression. Speak clearly. Use body language that says YES or NO. Learn how to say NO : Learn how to say NO Saying NO : Saying NO “I open my mouth saying NO and it comes out as NO PROBLEM.” Don’t feel guilty. Start with simple situations. Be firm but polite. Give a reason, not an excuse. Saying NO : Buy some thinking time. Ask for more information. Use appropriate body language and voice. Think it through. Set boundaries. Saying NO Deal Assertively with Conflict : Deal Assertively with Conflict Focus on the content, not the behavior of the other person : Focus on the content, not the behavior of the other person Deal Assertively with Conflict : Deal Assertively with Conflict “That’s a stupid idea. Where did that come from?” “Well, that ideas has its merits, but I don’t think that it’s likely to achieve the outcome we’re looking for.” Detours : Detours These are defensive maneuvers caused by reacting to what is said. These can get off a person from his assertive track. How to handle Detours : How to handle Detours Persist. Repeat your main point. “That may be. I really find the volume too loud.” Disagree. Make a direct Statement. “I don’t agree.” How to handle Detours : How to handle Detours Emphasize. The importance. “This is important to me.” Agree. With the other person’s right to have certain feelings, but disagree with the idea that you must have the same feelings. How to handle Detours : How to handle Detours Redefine. Don’t accept someone’s negative labell for your behavior. Redefine in positive terms. “I’m not being noisy. I’m just naturally curious.” Ask a question. Clarify. “in what ways do you think I’m acting childishly?” Look and Feel Assertive : Look and Feel Assertive Prepare to practice. Highlight your script Learn you lines Develop assertive body language Slide 80: Look and Feel Assertive Speak with more power. Speak with more clarity Speak with more expression. Set the stage. Look the part. Slide 81: “The greatest discovery of my generations is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.”William James You do not have the permission to view this presentation. In order to view it, please contact the author of the presentation.
assertiveness ivaturi_chaitu Download Post to : URL : Related Presentations : Share Add to Flag Embed Email Send to Blogs and Networks Add to Channel Uploaded from authorPOINT lite Insert YouTube videos in PowerPont slides with aS Desktop Copy embed code: (To copy code, click on the text box) Embed: URL: Thumbnail: WordPress Embed Customize Embed The presentation is successfully added In Your Favorites. Views: 233 Category: Product Traini.. License: All Rights Reserved Like it (5) Dislike it (0) Added: December 05, 2010 This Presentation is Public Favorites: 2 Presentation Description No description available. Comments Posting comment... By: rodianah (9 month(s) ago) sorry im forget to tell my email hanaidor@gmail.com, tengkyu once again Saving..... Post Reply Close Saving..... Edit Comment Close By: rodianah (9 month(s) ago) can you email me the ppt. tengkyu so much Saving..... Post Reply Close Saving..... Edit Comment Close By: Adrian3012 (13 month(s) ago) this is my email adriansyah.ch@gmail.com thanks for your kind Saving..... Post Reply Close Saving..... Edit Comment Close By: ivaturi_chaitu (13 month(s) ago) please forward me ur mail id Saving..... Post Reply Close Saving..... Edit Comment Close By: almatq (16 month(s) ago) plz allow me to down load it.....my exam will be from 29th plz Saving..... Post Reply Close By: ivaturi_chaitu (13 month(s) ago) please mail me ur id so tht i can send u the PPT Saving..... Edit Comment Close loading.... See all Premium member Presentation Transcript Slide 1: ASSERTIVENESS What is Assertiveness? : What is Assertiveness? What is it Not? How Assertive are You? Why? How do you develop Assertiveness? How do you begin? Communication Assertiveness Slide 3: Collection of Behaviors Stem from a belief Your needs and wants Important as other’s people’s ASSERTIVENESS Behavior Rainbow : Behavior Rainbow FIGHT (Aggressive) FIGHT (Submissive) ASSERTIVE Assertive Behavior : Assertive Behavior I stand up for my own rights, but I don’t violate your right’s. Submissive Behavior : Submissive Behavior Failure to stand up for your rights. Failure to express your thoughts, feelings and beliefs Aggressive Behavior : Aggressive Behavior I stand up for my rights I don’t care about yours. My rights are more important than yours. Principles of Assertiveness : Principles of Assertiveness Assertive I count You count Aggressive I count You don’t count Submissive I don’t count You count Submissive Aggressive I count You don’t count, but I’m not going to tell you that. What Assertiveness is and is Not : What Assertiveness is and is Not Personal responsibility Awareness of other people’s rights Honesty and Respect Rational and adult behavior Ability to Negotiate Confidence Getting your own way Winning every time Using “Quick fix” tricks Manipulating people Phases in Learning Assertive Behaviors : Phases in Learning Assertive Behaviors Project Analyze Look Speak up Phases in Learning Assertive Behaviors : Project Project yourself into past conflict situations See the common features Phases in Learning Assertive Behaviors Slide 12: Analyze Degree of threat you felt Select a scene to improve on Phases in Learning Assertive Behaviors Phases in Learning Assertive Behaviors : Look See the emotions, language, and self- image How do you change them? Phases in Learning Assertive Behaviors Slide 14: Speak up Plan a negotiating script or message Express in an affirmative manner Barriers of Assertiveness : Barriers of Assertiveness Negative image Fear of conflict Lack of communication proficiency Culture FEAR : FEAR alse vidence ppearing eal F E A R Shared information = Shared cultures : Shared information = Shared cultures No behavior or value is universal. Be flexible to accept differences. Be sensitive to verbal nuances and non-verbal cues. Know practices of other cultures. Self-Esteem : Self-Esteem Beliefs : Beliefs Conclusions we have reached from experience. We hold them to be true. They affect our overt behavior Self-Esteem : Both a CAUSE and EFFECT of Assertiveness Self-Esteem Bad with Shy numbers ordinary How do you see yourself? How do you label yourself? What determines Behavior : What determines Behavior Behavior Attitude Genes Environment Choice Slide 22: “ No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt Aggressive Behaviors : Aggressive Behaviors Excessive use of “I” statements Stating opinions as facts Putting others down Frequent use of ought and should Blaming others Showing contempt and being hostile Aggressive Expressions : That approach won’t work. You’d better do it. That’s only your opinion. You ought/should/must. It was your fault. Well, I blame you. Aggressive Expressions Submissive Behaviors : Submissive Behaviors Ingratiating attempts to accommodate the needs of other people Long rambling statements to justify the self Qualifying phrases “Filler” words Phrases that elicit others to ignore them Submissive Behaviors : It’s only my opinion. Maybe… I wonder if… Just… Sorry to bother you, but…. Would you mind very much… I seem to be hopeless at this. It’s not important really. It doesn't matter. Submissive Behaviors Assertive Behaviors : Assertive Behaviors Brief and to the point statements “I” statements Clear distinction between fact and opinion Open-ended questions to elicit thoughts, needs and opinions of others Resolution of problems Assertive Expressions : Assertive Expressions I believe… I’d like… I want/need… In my experience… My opinion is… As I see it… Tools in Communication : Tools in Communication Tools in Communication : Tools in Communication Body Language-55% Non Verbal cues : Non Verbal cues Non Verbal cues : Non Verbal cues Tools in Communication : Tools in Communication Voice-38% Tools in Communication : 7% Tools in Communication Assertive Replies : Assertive Replies Assertive Replies : Assertive Replies Writing Scripts : Writing Scripts First concrete step Confidence Choice of right words Basis of rehearsal DESC : DESC DESCRIBE What unwanted behavior has my Downer been displaying? EXPRESS How can I tell my Downer the way I feel about this behavior? SPECIFY What behavioral changes might I contract for ? CONSEQUENCES What rewarding consequences can I provide to my Downer for sticking to the contract? DESC Script : DESC Script Requesting Participation D E S C Simple Steps to Assertiveness : Simple Steps to Assertiveness Listen Assertively : Listen Assertively Common Non-Listening Behaviors : Common Non-Listening Behaviors Disguised Listening Distracted Listening Defensive Listening Distorted Listening Bad Listening Habits : Bad Listening Habits Criticizing the speaker and the delivery Listening only for facts and not feelings Not taking notes or trying to write down everything Faking attention Tolerating or creating distractions Bad Listening Habits : Tuning out difficult or confusing information Letter emotional words block the message Interrupting or finishing the other person’s sentence Biases and prejudices Not checking that you’ve understood Bad Listening Habits Two Ears, One Mouth : Two Ears, One Mouth Prepare physically and psychologically. Fight off distractions. Listen for speaker’s main ideas. Be sensitive to your emotional triggers. Listen to speaker’s side first. Two Ears, One Mouth : Reflect on differences of language. Do not trust to memory certain data that may be important. Listen actively. Repeat and clarify all key facts. Use positive body language to show that you are listening. Two Ears, One Mouth Understanding a foreign Accent : Understanding a foreign Accent Don’t pretend to understand. Don’t rush. Don’t shout. Don’t be rude. Don’t use slang. Types of Questions : Types of Questions Clarifying Question Example: “Is the process clear?” Probing Question Example: “Can you give me a specific example of an application of this?” Clarifying Questions : Clarifying Questions If I understand you correctly… Is that you what meant? I heard you say ________, did I understand you correctly? Your view is _________, is that right? Probing Questions : Probing Questions I’d like to hear your views/thoughts on… I’d like to understand your views on… Could you tell me about them? Would you tell me more about how you see the situation? I think we are approaching these from different perspectives. What does the situation look like from your perspective? Examples of Verification Statements : Examples of Verification Statements “I want to make sure that I give you complete instructions. Please recap what I have just said.” “I hope I’ve been clear so far. Perhaps you could repeat to me what you’ve understood. It will save us problems later.” Say what you want to Happen : Say what you want to Happen Say what you want to Happen : Use clear, direct requests or directives. Avoid hinting, being indirect, or presuming. Say what you want to Happen Assertive Requests : Assertive Requests Be Direct : Be Direct Be Direct : Be Direct Use Facts, not Judgments : Use Facts, not Judgments Use Facts, Not Judgments : Use Facts, Not Judgments Take Responsibility : Take Responsibility Take Responsibility : Take Responsibility Initiate Greeting Talk : Initiate Greeting Talk Conversational Do’s : Conversational Do’s Learn six magic questions. Speak with your ears. Be yourself. Talk in other person’s backyard. Show interest in others. Address everyone in the group. Know how to make a shy person feel part of the group. Conversational Do’s : Be alert. Be courteous. Be well –informed. Adjust to other person. Step in to fill an embarrassing void. Conversational Do’s Conversational Taboos : Conversational Taboos Off-color and discriminating jokes Personal relationships Cost of anything personal and income Controversial topics Conversational Taboos : Personal misfortune Demeaning terms Abrasive words or phrases Embarrassing questions Correcting another’s grammar or pronunciation in public Conversational Taboos Give and Accept Genuine Compliments : Give and Accept Genuine Compliments Look, Sound, Feel Assertive : Look, Sound, Feel Assertive Look and Sound the Part : Look and Sound the Part Learn your lines. Speak with more power and expression. Speak clearly. Use body language that says YES or NO. Learn how to say NO : Learn how to say NO Saying NO : Saying NO “I open my mouth saying NO and it comes out as NO PROBLEM.” Don’t feel guilty. Start with simple situations. Be firm but polite. Give a reason, not an excuse. Saying NO : Buy some thinking time. Ask for more information. Use appropriate body language and voice. Think it through. Set boundaries. Saying NO Deal Assertively with Conflict : Deal Assertively with Conflict Focus on the content, not the behavior of the other person : Focus on the content, not the behavior of the other person Deal Assertively with Conflict : Deal Assertively with Conflict “That’s a stupid idea. Where did that come from?” “Well, that ideas has its merits, but I don’t think that it’s likely to achieve the outcome we’re looking for.” Detours : Detours These are defensive maneuvers caused by reacting to what is said. These can get off a person from his assertive track. How to handle Detours : How to handle Detours Persist. Repeat your main point. “That may be. I really find the volume too loud.” Disagree. Make a direct Statement. “I don’t agree.” How to handle Detours : How to handle Detours Emphasize. The importance. “This is important to me.” Agree. With the other person’s right to have certain feelings, but disagree with the idea that you must have the same feelings. How to handle Detours : How to handle Detours Redefine. Don’t accept someone’s negative labell for your behavior. Redefine in positive terms. “I’m not being noisy. I’m just naturally curious.” Ask a question. Clarify. “in what ways do you think I’m acting childishly?” Look and Feel Assertive : Look and Feel Assertive Prepare to practice. Highlight your script Learn you lines Develop assertive body language Slide 80: Look and Feel Assertive Speak with more power. Speak with more clarity Speak with more expression. Set the stage. Look the part. Slide 81: “The greatest discovery of my generations is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.”William James