Getting it Together Handout102009

“Getting It Together” : 

rains@prexar.com “Getting It Together” A Parent/Provider’s Guide to Building Brains of kids who feel secure, lovable, capable, healthy And ready for school! Healthy Start Community Forum Mark Rains, PhD rains@prexar.com

What is a simple way to… : 

rains@prexar.com What is a simple way to… Understand children’s brain development Help children develop a sense of being secure, lovable, capable, meaningful, and ready for school Help children and parents manage and recover from stress Emphasize the importance of adequate nutrition and sleep in child development

…“Get it Together” : 

rains@prexar.com …“Get it Together” Develop individual parts of the brain Connect them into a team Through experience and practice (how brain cells develop and connect) Within relationships In a healthy body (good nutrition and sleep)

Brief Interpersonal Neurobiology 1 : 

rains@prexar.com Brief Interpersonal Neurobiology 1 Frontal Cortex Frontal Cortex Right Right Hemisphere Left Left Hemisphere Amygdale Amygdale Brainstem

Brief Interpersonal Neurobiology 2 : 

rains@prexar.com Brief Interpersonal Neurobiology 2 Crisis Verbal, Language Memories Plans Non-verbal feelings experiences Alertness: Brainstem Crisis: Amygdale & Hippocampus (middle) Nonverbal experience: Right brain Verbal, Language: Left brain Memories: Frontal cortex (behind forehead) Plans: Frontal cortex Alertness

Brief Interpersonal Neurobiology 3 : 

rains@prexar.com Brief Interpersonal Neurobiology 3 Parent – Child Interaction

Get it together #A: Alert? : 

rains@prexar.com Get it together #A: Alert? Connecting the brain parts #1 – 5 will work best, if it is alert. Is the brainstem Alert, Drowsy, or Overstimulated? If too tired, it may be hard to feel safe, manage independence, learn, or make good choices. If overstimulated, it can be hard to feel safe, relate, learn, or make good choices

Get it together #1: Crisis? : 

rains@prexar.com Get it together #1: Crisis? Is this really a crisis? If so, act. If not, breathe deep from your belly to calm Relax muscles that are tense and ready to act Tune in to the situation Prepare to return toward the ‘high road’ [thumb folded in]

Get it together #2: Past Interactions : 

rains@prexar.com Get it together #2: Past Interactions Get in touch with past feelings, experiences, relationships These may have few words to find them or help master them Experience & Observe the images, feelings, interactions, ‘rules’ Prepare to label them [thumb and index finger folded in]

Get it together #3: Use Words : 

rains@prexar.com Get it together #3: Use Words Describe in words what you remember Link situations thoughts feelings actionsconsequences Wonder about how else could you have seen, thought, felt, acted? Prepare to think [fold in index and little finger over thumb]

Get it together #4: Memories : 

rains@prexar.com Get it together #4: Memories Ask yourself what you have learned from past experiences/memories about this? What did or didn’t you like? What worked/didn’t? Verbal memories are easier to find and share [fold in middle finger]

Get it together #5: Plans : 

rains@prexar.com Get it together #5: Plans Find your way back to the ‘high road’, from hot to warm, to balanced and centered. Plan for how you want to manage this, now and next time Plan for repair with your child, a story to share, a conversation to have. [fold in ring finger to ‘fist’]

Helping your childGet it together #A: Alert? : 

rains@prexar.com Helping your childGet it together #A: Alert? In the long run: Good sleep habits Good nutrition to build brain cells In the short run: If your child is too ‘tired’ or ‘wired’ (overtired, overstimulated) to be able to do #1-#5, focus on safety or prepare/ wait for alertness

Helping your childGet it together #1: Crisis? : 

rains@prexar.com Helping your childGet it together #1: Crisis? Is this a real crisis? If yes: act to protect child. If no: Get yourself “together” so that the child will experience you as safe. Be proactive, rather than reactive. Ensure child’s safety [adult hand over child hand, helping fold thumb in]

Helping your childGet it together #2: Relationship : 

rains@prexar.com Helping your childGet it together #2: Relationship Build on a history of safe, trustworthy, nurturing feelings & experiences. Provide facial & nonverbal clues that this will be safe and “warm.” Get in touch with the relationship, renew your role, anticipate child’s readiness & expectations. [adult hand over child hand, helping fold index finger over thumb]

Helping your childGet it together #3: Use Words : 

rains@prexar.com Helping your childGet it together #3: Use Words Describe in words what is going on: Link situations thoughts feelings actionsconsequences alternative choices Keep it simple Describe, don’t evaluate Keep words on top of base of messages about feelings and relationship [adult hand over child hand, helping fold pinky finger in]

Helping your childGet it together #4: Memories : 

rains@prexar.com Helping your childGet it together #4: Memories Help child remember what you both have learned from past experiences/ memories about this? How did it feel? What worked or didn’t? Share memories that your child may not be able to find or put into words. Affirm learning from past. [adult hand helping fold child’s middle finger in]

Helping your childGet it together #5: Plans : 

rains@prexar.com Helping your childGet it together #5: Plans Help child think ahead about choices and consequences for reaching child goals. Explore what ‘3rd choices’ might work if needed. Help child anticipate choices/consequences for showing feelings. Affirm confidence. Etc. [adult hand helping fold child’s ring finger in]

What’s so important about brain development within relationships? : 

rains@prexar.com What’s so important about brain development within relationships? It’s what babies are ready to do, they depend on relationships for survival It’s what babies are most interested in, Mom is more important that “Mozart” Responding and interacting is critical It’s where children learn social skills, ‘being human’, how to ‘get it together’

What’s so important about brain development within relationships? : 

rains@prexar.com What’s so important about brain development within relationships? It’s where children learn safety & security (and what to expect at school) It’s where they learn that they are loved (and how lovable they will be at school) It’s where they learn about learning and accomplishments and successes (and how capable they can be at school) It’s where they practice sleeping & eating.

What’s so important about sleep? : 

rains@prexar.com What’s so important about sleep? The higher brain functions (5 fingers) depend on the brainstem alertness (wrist) to function well. They just don’t work as well when we are drowsy or overstimulated. Sleep is when much of our learning goes from short-term to long-term memory. Starting healthy sleep routines early makes it easier to maintain them later.

Recommended Hours of Sleep(night + nap) to avoid sleep deprivation : 

rains@prexar.com Recommended Hours of Sleep(night + nap) to avoid sleep deprivation Kurcinka, MS. (2006). Sleepless in America: Practical strategies to help your family get the sleep it deserves. Misbehaving? out-of-control? not learning? OR Missing Sleep?

What’s so important about nutrition? : 

rains@prexar.com What’s so important about nutrition? The brain uses most of the energy the body produces from food The brain depends on good nutrition for its building blocks Emotions can interact with eating habits Early food habits can affect risk of obesity, diabetes, tooth decay, etc.

Main Points: Build a good foundation under the top level! : 

rains@prexar.com Main Points: Build a good foundation under the top level! ? ((( Don’t skip over lower steps & go straight to language or rules. Children need to be healthy and feel safe in relationships to use memory, make good plans/choices, & learn. Health, sleep, nutrition