AiP 33

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Welcome back to Already in Progress the only story that starts in the middle Do you know I’ve been playing the Sims for five years and yet not even one of my Sims did this until about four months ago Now that the game’s figured out that “Rub Belly” is part of its programming it happens all the time. Well okay more than it used to. Okay so Simon loves to stand around rubbing his belly. mutters Knowledge Sims. Right So Without any further ado let’s rejoin our story: Already in Progress…

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Now last time asked you if a pair of pictures showed pregnancy or food poisoning and told you that the answer was “yes.” That was absolutely true. And if you were paying attention earlier this is not news at all. SIMON: I’m glad you’re feeling so much better Lucy. LUCY: Me too I hate throwing up. SIMON: Did you ever figure out what it was LUCY: I think it was the moo shoo pork. But it could have been the General Tso’s chicken. So if Lucy had food poisoning then that means…

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OLIVER: Is there really a baby in there Daddy SIMON: Yep there really is. OLIVER: But how can you be having a baby You don’t have a uterus. SIMON: It’s an ectopic pregnancy using an artificial placenta and special hormone treatments. Do you want me to draw you a diagram OLIVER: No that’s okay. But how is the baby going to get out of you You don’t have a v – SIMON quickly: You know what Daddy really has to pee now. I’ll explain it to you later. mutters as he waddles away Say when you’re ninety and I’m dead.

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I’m sure Simon would like to think about the actual childbirth process as little as humanly possible. SIMON: Aaaaaaugh Lucy Help How did you do this LUCY mumbles sleepily: Shush Simon. ‘M sleepin. SIMON: And I’m having a baby Help Help Aaaaaaugh LUCY: So ‘Snot my baby… SIMON: Aaaaaaaaaugh Aaaaaaaaugh aaaaaaugh aaaaugh

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Labor ended eventually – although not anywhere near soon enough for Simon – and little Sally made her AiP debut. Sally is teh cute and she has a nose SIMON: Here Lucy. Hold her for a minute will you LUCY: Wait – what do you mean “Hold her for a minute” You’re not going to have another one are you I specifically told you “No green babies.” I said it twice. One could come under the heading of a loophole but – SIMON: No there’s only one baby. I’m just hungry. Actually something about Sally in this picture reminds me of my sister when she was little. Although I doubt she’d appreciate the comparison…

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And unfortunately this always seems to happen right about the second grandchild… GRIM REAPER: Mr. .ittl…ag..

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Jasper Littledragon age – none of your business. Jasper was a Fortune Sim who picked Jasmine all on his own completely derailing my carefully planned plot. I gave up on ever completing a plot not too long afterwards. Jasper received a sports car as a reward for providing his wife with twin daughters and had it taken away again as a punishment for falling for a displaced-African-royalty internet phishing scam. He never did win that Most Supportive Father Ever award he was after but his daughters loved him anyway. And he never once mentioned that he had more bolts for his mother-in-law than for his wife. Rest in peace Jasper.

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SAMANTHA: Granda Is Da going to have a baby PERRY: Not that I know of. SAMANTHA: Well how about Ba Is he going to have a baby PERRY: I don’t think so. Men usually don’t have babies. mutters Unfortunately. in his normal voice Why do you ask

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SAMANTHA: Well Da fell asleep in his dinner the other night. Cousin Oliver says that his daddy did that after he was abducted. And then Ba’s stomach has gotten big and Oliver says that his daddy’s stomach is really big now. Really big like he swallowed a basketball. PERRY: Your Ba’s just been eating too much and your Da needs to learn to not have Nyquil until after dinner. Neither of them is pregnant. mutters More’s the pity.

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But all that talk of Simon’s pregnancy led to Harkon inviting his cousin-in-law over one afternoon. And then to talk of aliens babies and rocket ships that continued until Simon had to either go home or wet himself.

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Samantha likes the lemonade stand and will spend hours selling lemonade to anyone and everyone who comes by. Usually this is one of her fathers or her grandfather. As you can see though that’s not always true. I swear until Dante started liking them I had no idea there were so many redheaded girls in the neighborhood I can guarantee you that he won’t be interested in this one though. Ew.

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In fact Samantha was at the lemonade stand when she got a terminal case of the sparklies. SAMANTHA: Whoa check it out I look good HARKON: Hon We’re going to have to have a word about that skirt. sniffles I can’t believe we’re old enough to have a teenage daughter NIREL: Speak for yourself. HARKON: Huh NIREL: I’m only fourteen years older than Sam. It is literally impossible for me to have a teenage daughter. You now – you’re old enough. Barely. HARKON: Hey NIREL: But you’re right: we have lost the pitter-patter of little feet far too soon. Adopt A Child +8000 HARKON: Adopt A Child +8000. Definitely.

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What’s this at the Tang household Has something gone wrong suspiciously Mifune hasn’t been doing something underhanded at work has he

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Oh it’s just a puppy What a relief Er sorry ‘bout that Miffers. Mostly I wanted to see if the Adopt Pet option still worked or if Cillian’s asking for a kitten had permanently broken it but everyone was happy to see the family grow. However the game still thinks that Cillian’s non-existent kitten is part of the family and people roll up Wants and Fears related to it so my ’hood’s probably fried.

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Speaking of growing Eileen doesn’t look as good in those white stretch capris as she used to. She has swapped them in for a more flattering outfit. The string bikini low- backed side-cutout evening gown and skintight jeans went the same way as the white stretch capris.

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The skimpy hot-pink nightie stayed. Mifune likes it.

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And more wardrobe changes are in order. Not so much because the girls grew up into bad outfits – they didn’t – but because I’m just a leetle bit of a control freak. Well I play the Sims don’t I That proves it. Myrna is Pleasure and I forget Louise’s aspiration. Fortune or Popularity I think. Those tend to be what I give Sims that I can’t get a handle on yet. Incidentally didn’t they turn out pretty What with Mifune’s facial peculiarities and Eileen’s mannish handsome looks I thought Myrna and Louise would come out looking kind of odd but nope. They’re probably closer to template-face than I’d like but I can live with that.

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And speaking of growing up Edgar’s done it too. CHARLOTTE: Hey Eddie – Ripp Grunt called. He wants his outfit back. EDGAR: Ripp Grunt is a fictional character. And I like this outfit. I look good

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CHARLOTTE: If by “good” you mean “like a dweeb” then you’re right. EDGAR: Hey CHARLOTTE: releasing him Aw I’m just teasing. Come on let’s go wish Dads a happy anniversary.

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Tyrone and Matthias had a very low-key Golden Anniversary party – a few family members and no official “party” elements like music games or catered spreads. Being with his family was all Tyrone wanted. TYRONE: I just wanted to say thank you Ryan. Thank you for all this. pulls his brother into a hug RYAN bewildered: Uh… You’re welcome I guess. I didn’t do anything. We’ve never even been all that close. Do you remember when you came home from college and I didn’t remember who you were TYRONE: And you called me “mister” Of course I remember If you hadn’t done that I wouldn’t have gone to the Brotherhood’s toy store to buy you something and I never would have met Matt or had any of the kids. I mean it hurt at the time but I got so much good out of it that I can’t be anything but grateful. Thanks kiddo. RYAN: Well you’re welcome. Uh… Do you think you could maybe let go of me now

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Pleasure Sim Charlotte and Pop Sim Dante keep on bringing home friends from school. Bets on who brought which one home

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How ‘bout now This one’s a little harder since they’re both redheads and neither one is female. We won’t be able to play this game any more though because next time Charlie and Don are off to college. I hope there are redheaded girls at college.

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Although with the nest emptying out Matt seems to have returned to a topic Tyrone really hoped had been forgotten. MATTHAIS: I’ve been thinking: even though I’m past childbearing years now I’m sure I can still do the Work of Hobbes in some way. TYRONE: I don’t think you can Matt. MATTHAIS: No I’m sure I can If I just try hard enough – TYRONE: Okay Matt then explain something to me. What exactly is the Work of Hobbes MATTHAIS: Well um. It’s… um. Well having green babies and uh encouraging other men to have green babies and. TYRONE: No that’s the mission of the Brotherhood. If I remember correctly Hobbes is in charge of our lives and the lives of others just as Iolanthe was before him and as Esme would have been before her. MATTHAIS: Well yes… TYRONE: There’s really no way we could handle that. Frankly sometimes it’s all I can do to make it to the toilet before I wet myself. Can you imagine trying to convince someone else to do that And why would you want to do the Work of Hobbes in the first place MATTHAIS shamefacedly: I thought that maybe if I did the Work of Hobbes he’d give me back my green skin. He took it away so. TYRONE sighs: Matt you had threeps. This is not the punishment of Hobbes. And this is straying a bit to far into the realm of things that polite people do not talk about over the dinner table. According to Miss Manners these topics are: woohoo religion politics money and anything to do with the potty. So let’s move on now shall we

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TIMOTHY: So birthday girl – what do you want to do for your birthday SARAH JANE: Can we do anything I want Really anything TIMOTHY: Of course It’s your birthday. SARAH JANE: Then I want to dress up and go somewhere nice for dinner. That means suits and ties for you guys. And I’m going to do my hair special. TIMOTHY: Um okay… SARAH JANE: You said anything I wanted TIMOTHY: So I did. Go get dressed up then. calls Descartes Do you remember where your suit is DESCARTES calls back from upstairs: I own a suit

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And they did get dressed up. Everyone looked really great and I had trouble getting them out the door before Sarah Jane grew up on her own. Unfortunately when Sims go to a community lot and it’s cold out the automatically change into their outerwear. And then when they get inside the restaurant they either don’t take their coats off at all or they change back into their everyday outfits. So that was time wasted. But Sarah Jane had a nice birthday dinner anyway.

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And when they got home and had cake she grew up into a not-to-horrible outfit. It’s actually quite a nice outfit really – I just think that it washes Sarah Jane out a bit since she’s so pale already. I think a wardrobe change is in order but there’s no real rush.

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Tim decided that he didn’t want a nice dinner out for his birthday – he wanted to have cake for breakfast and then lounge around in his pajamas until sparklies time. Since it was his birthday that was exactly what they did. I think Descartes was pretty happy about that choice too. And speaking of nice dinners out…

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Trixie had arranged to have one with her mysterious phone friend. TRIXIE: Hi. My name’s Trixie. I’m supposed to be meeting someone here. HOSTESS: Well whoever it is hasn’t shown up yet – we don’t have anyone waiting. You want to sit in the lounge or you want me to show you to a table TRIXIE: Table please. When he gets here his name’s Kacper. HOSTESS: Ahuh… knowingly First date TRIXIE: Maybe.

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TABLE SERVER: Can I get you anything yet miss TRIXIE: No thanks. He hasn’t shown up yet Redheaded dead guy in a cape Named Kacper TABLE SERVER: No miss. No dead guys at all regardless of hair color. You sure I can’t bring you something You’ve been here almost two hours – you must be hungry… TRIXIE: Not yet. I’ll just give him a few more minutes. Alas Kacper never materialized. Poor Trixie. Why are my alien girls so unlucky in love

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Finally here’s a picture of a very strange censor blur. I’ve never seen a one like this anywhere except in the game of someone who had a breastfeeding hack. I don’t have that hack and even if I did Anne shouldn’t be able to nurse Sally. Coupled with the other glitches that have been going on that means that a rebuild soonest is probably a really really good idea. So the next chapter may be a bit delayed. But no worries – I’ve got this down to a science. Until next time – whenever that is – Happy Simming The Grim Reaper’s line was: Mr. Littledragon

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