Chapter 16

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slide 1:

Hi everybody Here’s a new chapter for a new year. I hope your year is a healthy happy and prosperous one. With much cat-cuddling if that’s the kind of thing you enjoy. Now let’s rejoin our story… Already in Progress…

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At the Miller household where we begin our tour Ryan has become a toddler. He spends his time doing toddler-type things like trying valiantly to put the triangular peg in the square hole and refusing to be potty trained.

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Timmy’s grades kept falling much to the poor little guy’s distress. It turns out he needed glasses and he chose the ones that made him look like Harry Potter. Well like Harry Potter would look if he was blonde and had a chicken somewhere in his ancestry.

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Amy has discovered the fact that boys are pretty interesting. Ricky Cormier here isn’t exactly boyfriend material negative chemistry plus he looks too much like one of her dads but Amy is definitely starting to think along those lines.

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And much to his bemusement girls have discovered Tyrone. CARYL: Who was that Tyger TYRONE: Jessica from school. She wanted to know if I wanted to hang out with her. CARYL: What did you say TYRONE: No of course. Why do all these girls keep calling and asking me out CARYL: …Tyger have you looked in a mirror lately TYRONE: Yes and I look like a pizza sourly They must be making fun of me. CARYL: I don’t think they’re making fun of you Ty.

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GIRL WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE NAMED TARA ALLISON dejected: Thanks for inviting me over Amy. It was really nice of you to offer to introduce me to Tyrone. AMY: No problem. Sorry he was so rude. He gets a little weird about girls right now. TARA ALLISON MAYBE: Does he like boys maybe AMY: I don’t think he likes anybody honestly. But he’s an idiot for not paying attention to you. COULD-BE-TARA-ALLISON perking up a little: Really AMY: Really. And I know a guy in shop class who wants to meet you if you’re interested. ‘Tis true. Tyrone has no gender preference but get lots of Admires from both sexes. I don’t think I’ll force the issue this time – I’ll let him figure out who he likes all on his own. Stay tuned.

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Robin’s house is getting a new addition. Or rather… ROBIN: Why are you trying to hand me the baby Just put him in the crib. I have to make the bed. Hand you the baby Uh-oh.

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ROBIN: Woo Twins This is amazing No no no – this is awful I didn’t feed you guys cheesecake I have too many kids in this ‘hood already. Do you hear me Too many YVETTE: Isn’t it wonderful Let’s have ten of these. ROBIN: Ten Sure great idea groans Just shoot me now.

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Robin is holding Cillian here. Or possibly Mifune. They look exactly alike at this stage. The slightly older twin is Mifune named for Japanese actor Toshiro Mifune. There should be a little carat-thingy over the second “O” in “Toshiro” but my keyboard can’t handle it. Hence “Mifune.” Toshiro Mifune appeared in sixteen films by director Akira Kurosawa including The Seven Samurai Rashomon and Yojimbo all of which I highly recommend. Cillian is the younger twin named for Irish actor Cillian Murphy. Cillian Murphy has appeared in Breakfast on Pluto and the two most recent Batman films. Plus some other stuff I haven’t seen. He’s pretty easy on the eyes but he’d look even better if he ate a hamburger every once in a while.

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Gerard officially grew up during his mother’s labor so naturally there are no pictures of his age transition. He’s mostly okay with his little brothers. GERARD: Mommy Cillian smells funny. I think he’s broken. Can we get a refund YVETTE: No hon babies are sold as is. GERARD: If you couldn’t get a good warranty then you shouldn’t have gotten a baby. Even if they were two for one. Peeee-yew Well I did say “mostly.”

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Now when it comes to new babies Cal and Elle win the “Worst Parents of the Year” award hands down. They want more kids but like heck I’m letting them have any. Cal’s LTW is to have three kids graduate from college but if he can’t even be bothered to change the one that he has already that’s just not going to happen.

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Eileen is just lucky that Great-Uncle Colin is willing to step up. Note that she has to be bathed rather than simply changed. The official mayoral mansion was not designed for people with little babies that’s for sure.

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Amy moved home right after college and wasted no time in throwing a wedding party. Or in planning one. Perry Standin became Perry Littledragon at night with inadequate lighting in front of the in use swingset with half the guests not even paying attention and half of the ones who were paying attention dressed inappropriately. Not that he cared.

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ANDREW: So Opal what do you say we help the kids make this a real Roof Raiser OPAL: Mmm… I like the way you think. But what about the guests ANDREW: Aw the kids’ll take care of them. Quick this way before anybody notices. Meanwhile…

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AMETHYST: So Perry what do you say to making this party a Roof Raiser PERRY: Good idea. But uh what about the guests AMETHYST: Aw Mom and Dad will take care of them. Come on I don’t want this new negligee to go to waste. But even with nobody taking care of the guests the party was still a Roof Raiser. Go figure.

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And Amy was left with a little shall we say party favor. AMETHYST: Perry Did you hear a lullaby last night PERRY: Yeah. Didn’t you AMETHYST: I was kind of concentrating on other things. harrrrukkkk Oh Esme that’s going to be a nightmare to clean up… PERRY: Don’t clean the toilet I want to do it Perry has ten Neat points.

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Perry is thrilled about becoming a father and is pampering Amy no end. AMETHYST: Oooh that feels good. Thanks Perry. PERRY: Anything for you. What else can I get you Lemonade Grilled cheese sandwich I could run you a bubble bath… AMETHYST: laughing Perry I’m fine I’m just going to sit down and read for a bit. PERRY: I know – a foot rub How about a foot rub while you read OPAL: If she doesn’t want a foot rub Perry I’ll take one. PERRY to Opal: Nope. Not pregnant. Yes the outfit shows more skin than Perry would choose for himself. Amy likes it. ‘Nuff said.

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As you can see the Coudercs are still enjoying the finest in lawn living. Why why why did I think it was a good idea to do a middle-of-nowhere building challenge with a house design that calls for foundation They have a grant total of one complete room plus a little outhouse off in the corner of the lot.

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And just because I thought it was cute: Like father…

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…like son.

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Ruth is now a toddler. She’s a nice blend of her parents. And I think she looks a bit like Hunter even though Aren was adopted.

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Daddy spends a lot of time playing with his daughter. Parallel play of course – that’s what toddlers usually engage in. Ruth is quite happy to provide musical accompaniment for her father’s couch-jumping sessions – or for anything else really. If it involves banging a xylophone she’s happy.

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Mommy meanwhile works at keeping the friend count up. CARYL: So you’ve never wanted to get engaged even VALERIE shudders: Esme no CARYL: But you’re okay with living with him and having a child with him VALERIE: We aren’t all Strict Family Values you know.

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ROBI: Morning hon. yawn I had the weirdest dream last night. ROSALIE: Yeah What was that

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ROBI V.O.: I dreamt that you were abducted by aliens. I ran outside but you were already gone. ROSALIE V.O: Oh that. ROBI V.O.: I tried to call them back to ask them to take me instead but they were already gone. It was horrible. And what do you mean “Oh that”

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ROSALIE V.O: I was abducted by aliens last night. It was pretty cool actually. The planet looks a lot different when you’re that high up. And they give you free peanuts. But their curbside dropoff service does leave something to be desired. ROBI V.O.: Free peanuts too You don’t even get that on airlines anymore sulkily It is so not fair that you got abducted and I didn’t.

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Three years THREE YEARS Three bloody years I’ve been sending out my fertile male Sims to stargaze each and every night Four five ten times a night I tell them to stargaze whether or not they would appreciate being abducted whether or not they can afford another baby whether or not I like them enough to perpetuate their genes Three years and who gets abducted A girl Useless Useless Aaaaargh throws minor tantrum clears throat smoothes hair attempts to pretend nothing happened Yes well. Let’s go check in Rosie’s sister conceived via a Boolprop abduction shall we

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Oh me. Cassie must you smustle in your nightie CASSIE: Hey I qualify for an AARP discount now. I can smustle whenever wherever and wearing whatever I want. Oookay. How’s the family CASSIE: Oh we’re great. Bertram has a new friend. Tell her Bertie.

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BERTRAM V.O.: His name’s Timmy Millew. I met him at my fwiend Sawah Jane’s house. He’s weally smawt. We tawk about aww kinds of stuff. CASSIE V.O.: Like what honey BERTRAM V.O.: Like like monstews. Like Bigfoots and wewewowves and stuff. And wobots. His cousin knows evewything about wobots and caws. He sounds like a good guy to hang out with then. CASSIE V.O.: She says it sounds like you like hanging out with him. BERTRAM V.O.: Yeah I do. reflectively I think I’m going to mawwy him when I gwow up.

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CASSIE V.O. amused: Him too You told me yesterday you were going to marry Sarah Jane. And the day before that it was the mailman and the papergirl both. And I seem to recall you saying that you were going to marry your teacher too. So which is it BERTRAM V.O. confidently: Aww of them. I’m going to mawwy all of them and we’we going to wiv in a gweat big house and have lots and lots of pawties. CASSIE V.O. affectionately tolerant: Good luck with that kiddo. I’m going to have to keep an eye on this one aren’t I

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Sarah Jane is doing very nicely. She has harvested her very first crop of Tasty tomatoes which she grew with no help from her parents.

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She has also caught her very first fish. It’s a catfish I think and she caught it without catching any boots first. Very talented with natural things our Sarah Jane.

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Sarah Jane has made firm friends with both Bertie and Timmy. She was very proud of being able to serve them grilled cheese sandwiches made with her very own tomatoes when they came over on the weekend for a day of water balloon fights pillow fights tag and fishing. Okay technically Jon served the food since Sarah Jane isn’t allowed to use the stove yet. But let’s not quibble.

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No matter who served the food though it was a fun day. In spite of some worries. TIMOTHY: Sarah Jane You like me better right SARAH JANE: Better TIMOTHY: Better than Bertie SARAH JANE: You’re both my friends. I like you the same. TIMOTHY: Okay you like us the same but secretly you like me best right SARAH JANE: I like you both exactly the same. Why do you want me to like you best TIMOTHY mumbles: BecauseIlikeyoubest. SARAH JANE: What TIMOTHY loudly: Because I have a pillow and I’m going to hit you with it does so SARAH JANE: Aaaah No fair Oh wait – I have a pillow too hits Timmy

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This picture is included just in case you were wondering how Jon and Emmy were doing. They’re still cute.

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Around the corner Jasper is pretty relieved about the baby. JASPER: Hi there little one You’re going to come out and meet everyone soon aren’t you Boy will your mommy be happy to see you And so will I JASMINE laughing: And we’ll just need one more after this. JASPER: What if it’s twins JASMINE: Oh come on. There’s no way to know that. Anyway even if it’s twins we’ll need to try again if one of them’s a boy. JASPER: Why What’s wrong with boys JASMINE: Nothing. But my heir needs to be a girl and I want to have a choice. I found that rule set I was looking for It’s The Nozomi’s Mafia Challenge. All heirs have to be the same gender as the founder.

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JASPER: Mitch please You gotta help me – Jasmine’s set on two girls. I can’t go through that again I just can’t. MITCH: I’d love to help but Jasper – I’m a chef not a fertility specialist or a deity. JASPER: You can make cheesecake right Cheesecake causes twins. MITCH: That’s an old wives’ tale. JASPER: But it’s worth a shot MITCH: What if you get two boys JASPER: I’ll flatter esmeiolanthe real good between now and then and maybe I’ll get lucky. Come on Mitch please

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So Mitch agreed although he didn’t actually think the cheesecake would do anything other than taste delicious and add a few inches to everyone’s middle.

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And what do you know It actually worked. Lucy the elder by a few minutes is the one with red hair and brown eyes. Anne is the blue-eyed blonde. I was a bit surprised by the red hair until I remembered that Mitch and Opal are both redheads. At least I’ll be able to tell these twins apart.

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And I would just like to point out that flattery always works on me. Well flattery and a long run of boys. Eight boys this generation to five girls – and those five include Anne and Lucy. Is the run of boys over Join me next time and find out There will be Perry and Amy offspring I promise.

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