Not Heiress Rose

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Hello, and welcome to a very special Ruth’s / AiP crossover! Okay, so there have been a lot of these lately, and maybe it doesn’t seem quite so special just at the moment. But there are four girls in the (u)OWBC household, and I can’t give two their own Plots and one a spin-off while ignoring the last one. Besides, I’ve been setting this up since 2011. Like all Plots used in Ruth’s , this is, ah, “lovingly appropriated” from an opera by Gilbert & Sullivan. But not stolen! Oh no! Just “lovingly appropriated.” Since this is based on an opera, let’s meet the players while the orchestra tunes up and the overture plays.

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From Ruth’s (un)Officially Wacky Boolprop Challenge : Rose Shankel (left) is the youngest child, and was betrothed at an early age to the son of her father’s friend. Her father made the tactical error of not informing her until she was eighteen, and since marrying someone to whom you have not even been introduced is a no-no according to Miss Manners, Rose is dead set against the arrangement. Phoebe Shankel (right) is Rose’s older sister. She routinely speaks in “thee”s and “thou”s, and is happily engaged to a man of her own choosing.

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From Already in Progress : Dmitri Sanders (left) is a Family Sim who came to Uni in pursuit of his MR.* He once auditioned for a (female) role in a Gilbert & Sullivan show in high school. Frederic Miller (right) is a Pleasure Sim, and Dmitri’s best friend. Frederic like girls and boys equally well, but Dmitri is firmly in his Friends Zone. (Or would be, if I had ACR.) *The male equivalent of an MRS.

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Ariadene Phillips (left) is Dmitri’s sister. They have different fathers, and, come to that, different mothers. But nobody in the family has ever paid attention to fiddly details like that. Ariadene is Romance, and is looking forward to working on that numbered LTW. Catherynne Miller (right) is Frederic’s first cousin and Ariadene’s first cousin once removed. (Frederic and Ariadene are something like fifth cousins, I think.) Catherynne is along for the ride because I will be hanged if I play two households through Uni when I could get away with one. Catherynne is Family.

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Finally, we have some folks who are not in Uni at all. From Already in Progress , we have Leonid Sanders (left), Dmitri’s father and tied for third-nicest Sim ever in my game. From Ruth’s (un)Officially Wacky Boolprop Challenge , we have Old Adam Shankel (right), Rose’s father and possessor of one Nice point. (This is fairly common thanks to genetic drift.) Leonid and Old Adam are best friends, and would be thrilled to become family. And now, the curtain rises on the Plotette…

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LEONID: Okay then, solnyshko . Do not be mixing bubbles and juice, and do not be fighting cow mascots -- is more useful and amusing to use Sim Vac on them. Do not be forgetting about your fianc ée. Oh! And do not be forgetting to call your mother one time every week, either. She has access to many explosives, so do not be making her angry, da ? DMITRI: Sure, Dad. I’ll remember. Better hurry or you’ll miss the ferry. LEONID: ( swears in Russian before running off )

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FREDERIC: What was that about your fianc ée? DMITRI: Oh, that. Back when I was two, Dad went at got me engaged to this four-year-old daughter of a friend of his. FREDERIC ( laughing ): You’re engaged to a woman twice your age? DMITRI: Well, not anymore . She’s twenty and I’m almost nineteen. FREDERIC: Eighteen and two months. DMITRI: Whatever. I’m catching up. Anyway, her name is Rose Shankel, and I can’t wait to meet her! She’s supposed to be in this dorm too.

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DMITRI: Hey, can you tell me which is Rose Shankel’s room? DORMIE #1: Rose Shankel? DORMIE #2: Isn’t she the one who started that sorority? DORMIE #1: Yeah, that’s the one. ( to Dmitri ) Sorry, pal. She started Annya Var Greek House, and if she’s not at class, she’s there. DMITRI: That’s cool. We’ll just join the Greek House. DORMIE #1: It’s a sorority . Girls only.

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For Rose and Phoebe, life at the sorority follows pretty much the same routine as life at the dorm: skill-building in the morning, although on the floor or standing now, since they can’t afford chairs. Or windows. Or flooring. Or wall coverings, a stove, or anything .

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The afternoon is for building badges. They sold the makeover chair, since there is no steady supply of deserving dormies to make over anymore, but they still have the flower bench. Rose is usually the one who uses it, as she has stronger feelings on the subject. They also have a toymaking bench, but Phoebe never uses that either.

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Their sorority sister Catherynne is the one who does that. Well, she rolled the Want to buy it and routinely rolls the Want to earn a badge for it, so that’s only fair. Her toys are sold to (eventually) pay for a window or something. Since there is only a $3 profit on Sir Bricks-A-Lots, this will take a long, long time, but everyone needs a goal.

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The house has no refrigerator, no counter, and no stove, but that doesn’t matter, since the girls live largely on pizza. What? I can’t stop one or another of them from going to campus to pick some up every time my attention is elsewhere for a second, so they may as well make use of it, yes?

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In fact, now that Phoebe can’t work on any skill badges, she spends a lot of time on the phone, keeping up her relationships with her friends and relatives. More friends means a higher level Greek House. And so does having more members. Speaking of which…

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DMITRI: I’ve got it, Freddy! I know how we’re going to get in to Annya Var! FREDERIC: It’s not illegal, is it? DMITRI: No, of course it’s not illegal. It’ll be fun!

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FREDERIC: I like fun. What’s -- ( sees Dmitri ) Yaaaaaaah!

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DMITRI ( anxiously ): What? Is it not my color? I thought it looked good. FREDERIC: It’s a dress ! DMIRTI: Well, duh. I got you one too. ( excited ) And I found these really cute coordinating bloomers, and the platforms were on sale. Do you think we should paint our nails to match the dresses? FREDERIC ( with horror ): Paint our nails ?! DMITRI: No, you’re right. That would be too matchy-matchy.

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FREDERIC: Why on earth would we want to put on dresses in the first place? DMITRI: So we can join the sorority, of course. They only admit girls. Girls wear dresses. If we wear dresses, they’ll admit us. I rest my case. FREDERIC ( suspiciously ): There must be some sort of flaw in your logic, but I’ll have my files corrupted if I can figure out what it is. ( sighs, reaching for his dress ) This is absolutely not going to work, you know.

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ROSE: Well, ladies, I’m very glad you decided to join Annya Var. You seem like just the kind of women we’re looking for -- not like some of the man-crazy ones out there. Now, one of our biggest rules is that you can’t bring any boyfriends back to the House. Will you have a problem with that? DMITRI: You don’t have to worry about us bringing home any men. FREDERIC: Um… DIMITRI: We’re not the sort of girls that men look at anyway. Completely unattractive and uninterested, that’s us. FREDERIC ( mutters ): Speak for yourself.

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ROSE: Oh, don’t talk yourself down! You seem lovely, and all of us girls here at the sorority will welcome you with open arms. FREDERIC ( perking up ): Open arms, you say? ROSE: Yes, of course! We’re all prepared to love you on sight. FREDERIC: Well, we’re prepared to love you right back! DMITRI ( hisses angrily to Frederic ): Can it!

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SONG. I am a maiden, frank and simple, Brimming with joyous roguery; Merriment lurks in ev’ry dimple Nobody breaks more hearts than I! Nobody breaks more hearts, more hearts than I!

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SONG. Haughty, humble, coy, or free, Little care I what maid may be. So that a maid is fair to see, Ev’ry maid is the maid for me!

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SONG. I am a maiden coyly blushing, Timid am I as a startled hind; Ev’ry suitor sets me flushing, Ev’ry suitor sets me flushing: I am the maid that wins mankind!

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ARIADENE: Frederic, what is going on? I can’t get my brother alone for two minutes to ask him. FREDERIC: Keep your voice down! We’re Demetria and Daphne now. ARIADENE: Daphne ? FREDERIC: It beats “Frederica.” But you can’t tell anybody! You’ll blow Dmi -- er, Demetria’s cover. ARIADENE: Oh, I’ll keep my mouth shut… for a price.

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FREDERIC: Somehow I thought your price would be more R-rated. Or even X. ARIADENE: In your dreams, bucko. Don’t forget that I dot my I’s with little hearts.

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SONG. Haughty, humble, coy, or free, Little care I what maid may be. So that a maid is fair to see, Ev’ry maid is the maid for me!

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SONG. Haughty, humble, coy, or free, Little care I what maid may be. So that a maid is fair to see, Ev’ry maid is the maid for me!* * Adapted from W. S. Gilbert, Princess Ida , act II, song 13. Available from http://math.boisestate.edu/GaS/princess_ida/webop/pi_13.html; accessed 1 June 2012.

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Ariadene doesn’t have time for the whole “homework” thing because she’s too busy working on her LTW: Have Twenty Loves At Once. ASIA TRAVER THE MATCHMAKER: Seriously? This is what you’re giving me? ARIADENE: It’s my life savings! Come on, help a girl out. ASIA TRAVER THE MATCHMAKER: If this is your life savings, girl, Esme help us. You’ll get what you pay for, that’s all I’m saying.

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ARIADENE: Pfffft -- that matchmaker doesn’t know what she’s talking about. You’re gorgeous. GOOD-LOOKING BLOND WHO IS APPARENTLY A CLONE OF SOMEONE I ALREADY MARRIED INTO A DIFFERENT STORY: Thanks?

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Alas, the classic Romance/Family mismatch was at work, and this fellow probably won’t be one of Ariadene’s conquests. And speaking of handsome fellows, it’s worth pointing out that Ariadene wasn’t the only one who figured something was fishy about “Demetria” and “Daphne.”

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PHOEBE: Thou knowest that those be men, dost thou not? ROSE: If they present as female, it’s only polite to refer to them and to treat them as female. Their genetic makeup only matters for certain types of medical treatments.* *It’s actually true that certain medical treatments depend on whether a person’s chromosomes are XX or XY; generally treatments that involve some form of hormone therapy.

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At the end of first semester Freshman year (for the new folks) or first semester Junior year (for Rose and Phoebe), there was enough money to redo a fair amount of the house. They don’t actually need the fridge, but four residents out of six rolled the Want for one. The fancy stove is also not really needed, but because it’s so large, I wanted to be sure it fit. Yes, that is a dresser in the kitchen.

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There was enough money to put flooring in the second floor, and also to add stairs going up to the new flooring. The white tile parts will be bathrooms, the various shades of pink will be bedrooms, and the blue will be hallway. (It’s just that carpet is lots cheaper than wood.) You may notice that there are three beds, but six sorority “sisters,” and you may be wondering how that works.

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Bed-sharing, of course! Rose and Phoebe share, as do Dmitri and Frederic and Ariadene and Catherynne. Each pair get along well enough that there are no objections. Other pairings might get along just as well, but that could very well blow Dmitri and Frederic’s cover. (Apologies for the plumbbob. It’s such a n00b mistake; I feel really dumb. But the Walls Down was deliberate!)

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And then one day the conversation turned, as conversations will, in a random direction. FREDERIC: Well, what about if you could wish for one person to fall in madly in love with you forever? Who would you pick? ( archly ) Demetria, I know who you’d pick… DMITRI: Can it, F -- er, Daphne! FREDERIC: No, but who would you pick, Rose? I really can’t decide between Sandy Bruty and Ben Long. ROSE: Oh, I really shouldn’t play this game. Technically, I’m engaged, you know. But of course I’m not going to go through with it.

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DMITRI: You’re engaged? Really? So why don’t you want to marry him? Does he pick his nose? Eat small babies? What? ROSE: No, I don’t think so. My father says he’s actually pretty nice. But… FREDERIC: But what? It can’t be because he’s two years younger than you, can it? ROSE: How did you know he’s younger than me? FREDERIC: Whoops.

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ROSE ( suspiciously ): Wait a minute. Demetria, what’s your father’s name? DMITRI: Er, Leonid… ROSE: Leonid Petrovich, maybe? Good friend to Old Adam Shankel, my father? In fact, you’re my fianc é -- aren’t you? DMITRI: I just wanted to get to know you.

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ROSE: By lying to me? I didn’t know you were my fiancé! I just thought you were a man who likes to wear dresses. DMITRI ( reasonably ): Well, I am! I’m a straight man who likes to wear dresses occasionally, and the only thing I ever said that wasn’t true was that my name was “Demetria.” ROSE: You still lied to me! ( stomps off )

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DMITRI ( frantically ): ROSE!

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DMITRI: Oh, Mr. Reaper, please don’t take her! Please, please don’t take her! Isn’t there some way I can play you for her? Double or nothing, maybe? GRIM REAPER: I do.’. .no.. I.’. no. u.ua.. DMITRI: Oh, please? Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease? Pretty please with a cherry on top? We were going to be married, and I love her more than anything!

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GRIM REAPER: O., a.. .igh . . .ick a .an..

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ROSE: I heard what you said. Did you mean it? About being ready to go double-or-nothing for me? And all that about -- about “more than anything”? DMITRI: Of course I did. You’re my fianc ée. I’m in love with you already, and I’m willing to wait however long it takes and do whatever it takes to make you feel the same way. ROSE: Well. I can hardly be mad at you, then, can I?

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SONG. My nat’ral instinct teaches me (And instinct is important, O!) You’re ev’rything you ought to be And nothing that you oughtn’t, O! * Adapted from W. S. Gilbert, Princess Ida , act II, song 13. Available from http://math.boisestate.edu/GaS/princess_ida/webop/pi_13.html; accessed 1 June 2012.

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SONG. The fact was seen at once by you In casual conversation, O! Which is most creditable to Your powers of observation, O! * Adapted from W. S. Gilbert, Princess Ida , act II, song 13. Available from http://math.boisestate.edu/GaS/princess_ida/webop/pi_13.html; accessed 1 June 2012.

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SONG. -servation, O! -servation, O! Your powers of observation, O! * Adapted from W. S. Gilbert, Princess Ida , act II, song 13. Available from http://math.boisestate.edu/GaS/princess_ida/webop/pi_13.html; accessed 1 June 2012.

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SONG. Then jump for joy and gaily bound, The truth is found, the truth is found! Set bells a-ringing through the air Ring here and there and ev’rywhere -- * Adapted from W. S. Gilbert, Princess Ida , act II, song 13. Available from http://math.boisestate.edu/GaS/princess_ida/webop/pi_13.html; accessed 1 June 2012.

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SONG. And echo forth the joyous sound, The truth is found, the truth is found!* - * Adapted from W. S. Gilbert, Princess Ida , act II, song 16. Available from http://math.boisestate.edu/GaS/princess_ida/webop/pi_16.html; accessed 1 June 2012.

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Montages are all very well, but I’m sure you’d like to know at least something about the other people in the household. Take Phoebe, for example. You’d never know that the woman has nine Cooking points, would you? And that’s the skill she’s weakest in.

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Or at least, it was. She’s well-nigh unstoppable now. That should help the family snaffle a few career rewards, hey?

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I did, however, manage to come up with a badge she can work on in her now-copious free time: gardening! Well, she’s going to marry a farmer. Gardening badges are super useful. I should have thought of this ages ago!

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Ariadene has discovered a much better way to get good grades than blackmailing someone else into doing your homework. Her LTW is for Twenty Loves, after all, and who’s to say that a professor or three can’t contribute?

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Once out of the silly dress, Frederic decided to make up for lost time. However, since his finances are in about the same state as Ariadene’s, his dates were not any better matches. DMITRI (V.O.): You seem to like that one. FREDERIC (V.O.): Blech! No. I just like to make sure that my dates have a good time. Did you notice that he had black hair? DMITRI (V.O.): Wait a minute -- I have black hair. FREDERIC (V.O.): So you do. And that , Dmitri Leonidovich, is one of the reasons I will never ever date you. Sorry to disappoint.

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DMITRI (V.O.): Well, what about the blonde girl? Whatsername? FREDERIC (V.O.): Margaret. Yeah, she’s hot, and she keeps calling to ask me out. But Iolanthe, is she boring! Halfway through the date, I keep rolling Wants to buy a TV or something. And for a Romance Sim, she’s sure stingy with the kissing. Frederic is not very successful romantically. He’s never rolled a Want for any of his dates after the date was over, and he does often roll Wants to buy TVs or gain skill points while the date is still in progress. I’d run a bachelor challenge with him, but I’m not quite sure what to do with the losers…

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Frederic is the only junior member of the household to declare a major. Okay, it’s Philosophy, which he would have ended up with in Junior year anyway, but I wanted something that feeds into Culinary -- his LTW is Become Celebrity Chef -- and I’ve had way too many Sims major in Art lately.

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I realize that Catherynne hasn’t gotten much face time in this chapter, and that’s because she hasn’t done all that much. Cleaning and repairing…

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…writing term papers…

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…earning Toymaking badges…

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…and completely striking out with the boys.

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But if you will forgive the long shot, you can see that the household in general is doing quite well. Just look at those skill bars filling up right and left! (But not center, because Phoebe is in the center, and she’s maxed out.)

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Dmitri is practicing a Very Important Speech with Bab, the house bird. The vote was three for a bird, one for a womrat, and two for no framming pets. Majority rules, right? Bab is named for W. S. Gilbert himself, who started out writing and illustrating long comic poems (many of which he later turned into operas) under the pen name of “Bab.” These poems are known as the “Bab Ballads.” Now you know. And the Very Important Speech?

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DMITRI: Rose, this may be redundant, because we’re already engaged. Technically. But that was Leonid asking Adam, or maybe Adam asking Leonid. I don’t know whose idea it was exactly. The point is, it wasn’t us.

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DMITRI: So this is Dmitri asking Rose: Will you marry me? ROSE: Of course I will. ( fondly ) Silly!

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Rose and Dmitri threw a very successful engagement party. You will notice all the fun people are having, I hope. If I were a Sim, the Fear of Having A Party would be autonomously permalocked, so I throw very few even in the Sims, and I take even fewer pictures. How successful was it, you ask? It was a Roof Raiser, and nobody removed any clothing at all!

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Cute shot of Phobe and Chant having a private moment among the party in full swing is cute.

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ROSE: Oh, Poppa, isn’t it wonderful? Isn’t Dmitri the best boy in the whole world? OLD ADAM: I fear that if I answered that as you wish me to, your sisters would have me hung, drawn, and quartered. But I am glad to hear that you approve, my dove.

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OLD ADAM: My dear friend, I cannot tell you how overjoyed I am that our families are now to be united in truth! LEONID: I too! Children are happy. And penalty is being wery heavy to pay. OLD ADAM: You needn’t rub it in. I was not looking forward to paying it. LEONID: You pay! I am one to be payink! ( Old Adam and Leonid look at each other for a long moment before bursting into laughter ) LEONID: Not to tell children, da ? OLD ADAM: Naturally not!

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Once that was out of the way, all that was left to do was for the girls to try their luck in the Age Transition Lottery. They both did pretty well, of course. I was hoping for Wacky. ( sigh ) Phoebe even managed an outfit with stripes! And Rose kept her hairdo, which I was not expecting.

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With the OWBC girls out of the house, I was finally free to use the college clock. (It’s against the OWBC rules, and while the story may be un officially Wacky, I do try to not actively cheat.) And use the college clock I did! Barely 72 game hours later, Dmitri, Catherynne, and Frederic were graduating with 4.0s and not-too-horrible outwear.

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Although not before throwing me a curveball. CATHERYNNE (V.O.): Oh, Professor Douglas! I never thought you could feel the same way about me! PROFESSOR DOUGLAS WHEELER (V.O.): How could I not? It’s just that it’s not ethical to date students. CATHERYNNE (V.O.): But I only had one class from you, four years ago! PROFESSOR DOUGLAS (V.O.): Well, we have a lot of lost time to make up for, then, don’t we?

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You may have noticed that Ariadene didn’t graduate with the others. Quite frankly, she sees no reason to do so. Free room and board, friendly professors, and all the hot college boys you can talk into (or out of) togas? Why would anyone want to be anywhere else? ARAIADENE: That’s right -- the party starts at nine. Don’t be late! ( hangs up, then, to herself with great satisfaction ) Now I’m in charge, this place is going to be a lot more fun! Until next time, Happy Simming!

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Notes, disclaimers, and other trivia Had Rose been voted heir, the title of this Plotette would have been Heiress Rose , which would have made more sense. It was based on Princess Ida by Gilbert & Sullivan, although I have once again played fast and loose with the cast list, and also eliminated both the sexist parts and the boring parts -- which means a chunk of the first act, half the second act, and just about all of the third act. ( sigh ) At least it has some good music? Something I didn’t notice until I wrote the introductions for the characters is that Leonid and Old Adam have the same Nice-points configuration as their operatic equivalents.

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In the original, Hilarion (the male romantic lead) and his two best friends do indeed spend most of the second act in women’s clothing, and are accepted as female -- although one character does note that “Two are tenors and one is a baritone!”* The actual femininity of their outfits varies from production to production. Hilarion also really does save Princess Ida from death, although in the original it is accidental drowning due to falling into the pond while upset. (Which seems rather hard to stage to me, but never mind.) * W. S. Gilbert, Princess Ida , act 2, scene 16. Available from http://math.boisestate.edu/GaS/princess_ida/webop/pi_16d.html; accessed 22 May 2012

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King Hildebrand ( bass-baritone ): Leonid Sanders Hilarion , his son ( tenor ): Dmitri Sanders Cyril , Hilarion’s friend ( tenor ): Frederic Miller King Gama ( comic baritone ): Old Adam Shankel Princess Ida , King Gama’s daughter ( soprano ): Rose Shankel Florian , Hilarion’s friend ( lyric baritone ): Frederic Miller, mostly, unless you want to count Ariadene’s joining Annya Var at the same time as splitting the role, in which case you have to give Dmitri partial credit too Lady Psyche , Professor of Humanties and Florian’s sister ( soprano ); and Lady Blanche , Professor of Abstract Sciences ( contralto ): Ariadene Phillips All other roles, most notably Princess Ida’s brothers, were eliminated.

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Solnyshko is Russian for “sunshine,” and is a term of endearment for a spouse, small child, or even a pet. However, it is rarely used for boys over the age of ten because they strenuously object to being called something so girly. (This has never stopped Leonid from using it for his son, and Dmitri has given up arguing.) Vocabulary and usage is courtesy of my Russian consultant, Yousei, who writes “I’ll Be There For You” (available on Boolprop). A big thank you to Yousei for the help!

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The Grim Reaper’s lines, in order: I don’t know. It’s not usual. Oh, all right. Pick a hand. Until next time, Happy Simming!