COHERENCE AND UNITY--with vocals

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COHERENCE AND UNITY:

COHERENCE AND UNITY David Venditto, M.A. Cat lover, sandwich enthusiast

Coherence techniques:

Coherence techniques Transitional words Transitional sentences Repetition of key terms However, therefore, consequently, secondly, thus, in addition This is a more sophisticated coherence technique that utilizes entire sentences to connect ideas. The repetition of a particular term being discussed can help tie sentences together.

Paragraphs that lack coherence:

Paragraphs that lack coherence the last one is being fat. a fat person is very unsure of his self becasue of the way his body looks. i thing that being fat is the hardest thing to not think of if you were fat. i have fat friend and it is hard for him to go on rides at six flags. he has problems doing alot of everday things. i feel very bad for him becasue if i was in his feet i would want to find out how i can fix it. it is hard for a fat person i find clothers to where. this is a very big part of Job discrimination. Can a millionaire lead a happy life? Let’s take a look at the poem Richard Cory, in this poem Richard Cory was described as a wealthy man who was always been looked up by the people who are walking on the pavement. So he starts with a sight of Richard Cory in a downtown. He describes that Richard Cory is a wealthy man and the people in the downtown and the people who are on the pavement were ordinary people who are not that wealthy as him. Richard Cory was described as royal, tall and handsome. People always adored him for his respect to other people. When the poem states that “And he was always human when he talked,” tells that he speaks as he was not rich and he just like every one else in the downtown. Then the poem states of how wealthy Richard Cory was? It states “And he was rich--yes, richer than a king-- And admirably schooled in every grace” he was richer than a king and he was the most admirable person in every ones heart. Then Robinson tells that people look at him and think that he was everything and people often thought that they are very less fortunate than him and always wished to be in Richard’s place. Then it takes a tragic turn when the poem ends, it is ordinary people worked until they saw the light but Richard Cory went home in one calm summer night and killed himself. Why did he kill himself? He was wealthy, he was admired by every person who walked by him. Did his wealth bring him happiness or difficulties?

Paragraphs that cohere:

Paragraphs that cohere The Volkswagen golf is the most comfortable car, because they offer the best in automobile seats, a smooth ride, the amount of space to be comfortable, and the choice of dashboard lighting. Seats in most cars are to fluffy and flimsy, but not in the Volkswagen. It?s seats almost feel like a race car because it hugs and supports; on sharp turns, instead of having to hold on, the seat cradles you. The seats also decrease back pain on long term rides, do to the support they offer. Comfort includes a smooth ride and the golf delivers. Going over bumps and sharp turns are barely felt thanks to the sturdy design and the perfectly made seats. Also, from the looks of the golf, you could imagine being cramped in the back seat, but somehow it has been made that you have just as much room as the driver. The back has enough room to give you a real seat with head rests rather then a small almost bucket like seat. The dashboard and it?s lights are a pleasure to look at. Since it is a foreign made car the design is unique and the color pattern is different. They use white face gauges, and red and blue lights that are pleasing to the eye, compared to the traditional black, green and orange in most of the cars that are made today. It is a unique car that focuses on the importance of superior comfort, without lacking good looks.

Fixing coherence problems:

Fixing coherence problems the last one is being fat. a fat person is very unsure of his self becasue of the way his body looks. i thing that being fat is the hardest thing to not think of if you were fat. i have fat friend and it is hard for him to go on rides at six flags. he has problems doing alot of everday things. i feel very bad for him becasue if i was in his feet i would want to find out how i can fix it. it is hard for a fat person i find clothers to where. this is a very big part of Job discrimination. Obviously, there are many grammatical problems here, but almost more problematic is the fact that sentences almost don’t seem connected to each other. Take the following passage: i have fat friend and it is hard for him to go on rides at six flags. he has problems doing alot of everday things. i feel very bad for him becasue if i was in his feet i would want to find out how i can fix it. it is hard for a fat person i find clothers to where. this is a very big part of Job discrimination. This paragraph jumps from talking about Six Flags, to talking about “everyday things,” to finding clothes to wear, and finally to job discrimination, which doesn’t seem connected to the previous examples. The rewritten version might say the following: An acquaintance of mine is overweight and he has a great deal of difficulty doing everyday things. Something as simple as a roller coaster rider, or purchasing clothing becomes quote an ordeal for him. Not only are everyday things difficult, but obtaining a job can be problematic as well.

Techniques for maintaining unity:

Techniques for maintaining unity Having a strong topic sentence Picking relevant source quotes Being concise and to the point Having a strong topic sentence guides the content of the respective paragraph. Support should be directly pertinent to the topic sentence Students should include only that which has direct relevance to the topic being discussed. Clarity is key in avoiding confusion in yourself and the reader.

Random Slide:

Random Slide

Paragraphs that lack unity:

Paragraphs that lack unity Gonzo Journalism is a style of storytelling that mixes factual events into a fictional tale. It uses a highly subjective style that often includes the reporter in the story via a first person narrative and events can be exaggerated in order to emphasize the underlying message. The word Gonzo was first used to describe a 1970 story written by Hunter S. Thompson, who later popularized the style. Gonzo disregards the ‘polished’ edited product favored by newspaper media and strives for the gritty factor. Use of quotes, sarcasm, humor, exaggeration, and even profanity is common. Thompson based his style on William Faulkner’s idea that “fiction is often the best fact.” Thompson often wrote about recreational drug and alcohol use which added additional subjective flair to his reporting. This essay will go through the various stages from the start of the journey, the drugs and affects that were experienced throughout it, plus the outcome of the trip, and how the story of the Mint 400 became: “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.” In Everyone's life, there is a certain moment or situation where they are influenced by someone. It could be their parents, brothers, sisters, friends or even a complete stranger. Right from childhood, a person is influenced by the people and the surroundings in which they are brought up. A person, who is not brought up in the same community as the others ought to have a lot of dissimilarities in lifestyles. The person that most influenced me is my parents. My father has influenced me the most and in many different ways. My father had a rough hard childhood. He lived with his grandparents because of financial problems. He never got to know his parents. He got a good job and because a successful person all on his own. His hard work and determination influences me to do the same and become a successful and happy person. He once told me, "No matter if the whole world is against you, if you have the will, you have the way." Whenever I find myself frustrated or if I am not that confident that I will be successful, I just remember that saying of my father. Another good thing that I learned from my father was always to take the side of truth; matter if it goes against your friends or even family. Following this is sometimes very hard to do, but it pays in the end. It has saved my friend from ruining his life in drugs. I have now started believing in myself and I basically think that nothing is impossible for us, if we have a bit of luck. This has helped me a great deal making my own decisions such as selecting a college for admission, my major and also selecting the right kind of car.

Paragraphs that have unity:

Paragraphs that have unity When buying something expensive, looks become one of the most important features. When it comes to cars, that is the first thing consumers look at. If the car is not very appealing, chances are that one will not like the car. Honda Accord has a very stylish image, along with its sleek design. Camry’s front and back of the car is round, which is similar to an egg shape. Study; done recently show that car buyers prefer Honda Accord as a bold, luxurious, and attractive. Camry is somewhat luxurious, but not that attractive. An Accord somehow fascinates one’s eyes a little more than the Camry’s same kind of a rhetorical look and shape that has some minor improvements.

Fixing unity problems:

Fixing unity problems Gonzo Journalism is a style of storytelling that mixes factual events into a fictional tale. It uses a highly subjective style that often includes the reporter in the story via a first person narrative and events can be exaggerated in order to emphasize the underlying message. The word Gonzo was first used to describe a 1970 story written by Hunter S. Thompson, who later popularized the style. Gonzo disregards the ‘polished’ edited product favored by newspaper media and strives for the gritty factor. Use of quotes, sarcasm, humor, exaggeration, and even profanity is common. Thompson based his style on William Faulkner’s idea that “fiction is often the best fact.” Thompson often wrote about recreational drug and alcohol use which added additional subjective flair to his reporting. This essay will go through the various stages from the start of the journey, the drugs and affects that were experienced throughout it, plus the outcome of the trip, and how the story of the Mint 400 became: “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.” The assignment was to discuss how Fear and Loathing demonstrates the dehumanizing effects of excess. Almost all of this is a definition of gonzo journalism, thus the paper is lacking unity. The revised version might look like this: Hunter S. Thompson was a purveyor of gonzo journalism, and his novel Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is certainly no exception. Gonzo journalism often includes the reporter in the events that transpire, and Thompson certainly becomes part of the story in Fear and Loathing. The overall theme is one of bleak desolation, the result of American excess. This excess has a dehumanizing effect on the characters of the novel, and is further made quite salient in the setting of the story.

Making the whole paper a wonderful, shining beacon of hope:

Making the whole paper a wonderful, shining beacon of hope The finished product should flow seamlessly. Each sentence should clearly lead into the next; each paragraph should make a lucid connection with the previous and subsequent paragraphs; and the whole paper should make a clear connection to the thesis. The key is to think of the paper as a whole—not as a series of individual words. The words themselves are obviously important, but it is the connections between these words that is key. The connections are the glue that holds the whole paper together, and a lack of these will prevent you from ever connecting to your reader.

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