YMCA: Family Talk Parenting

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Parenting in the Age of Technology: the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.


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YMCA: FAMILY TALK Parenting in the Age of Technology: the Good, the Bad and the Ugly:

YMCA: FAMILY TALK Parenting in the Age of Technology: the Good, the Bad and the Ugly 10/19/16 Dr. Debra Kessler


What is your goal of parenting?

USE IT OR LOOSE IT Neurons that fire together wire together:

USE IT OR LOOSE IT Neurons that fire together wire together “ Neuroplasticity refers to structural and functional changes in the brain that are brought about by training and experience. The brain is the organ that is designed to change in response to experience.” http://medind.nic.in/icb/t05/i10/icbt05i10p855.pdf

Toxic Stress:

Toxic Stress http://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/toxic-stress-derails-healthy-development /


FACT Fully 95% of those ages 12-17 use the internet. 80% of online teens use some kind of social media. http://www.pewinternet.org/2013/05/21/part-1-teens-and-social-media-use/


FACT A 2010 Kaiser Foundation study showed that elementary aged children use on average 7.5 hours per day of entertainment technology, 75% of these children have TV’s in their bedrooms, and 50 percent of North American homes have the TV on all day.

YouTube Videos:

YouTube Videos Stay calm, your internet is on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvW7cUG6XAw Catherine Steiner-Adair https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1552sXvKNc

  Brain systems: :

  Brain systems: Can be thought of as WHAT Wellness – Autopilot, engine under the hood. Arousal, sleep/wake cycle, awareness of internal bodily cues related to hunger and satiety, medical issues, physical safety Home – Emotions, memories, personal meaning, determination of safety and danger. Reward center is also located here. Around me – Experience of and response to the environment and physical world, physical movement Tasks – Plan and sequence thoughts and action to achieve goals including awareness of self and other. Critical thinking, language, judgment   With the goal in mind to help our children develop resilience and minimize toxic stress, let’s look at the role of technology in their lives:


WELLNESS GOOD: Access medical information Monitor health factors Advances in medical care BAD: Sleep disturbance from light from screens Hyperarousal , nervous system stays alerted Create neurological arousal set-points Less physical activity increasing risk of obesity and diabetes


FACTS National Sleep Foundation: About 72 percent of children ages six to 17 sleep with at least one electronic device in their bedroom, which leads to getting less sleep on school nights compared with other kids, according to their parents. The difference adds up to almost an hour per night, and the quality of snoozing is negatively affected too.


HOME GOOD Games played together, shared joy Maintain connections via email, Skype, etc. Preserve memories, share experiences BAD Avoid negative emotions Immediate high reward, highly reinforcing, setting up risk of addiction Virtual world becomes more rewarding than real world, straining relationships Increased boredom

Why Teens are Different :

Why Teens are Different


HOME Research has demonstrated “damage to an area knows as the insula , which is involved in our capacity to develop empathy and compassion for others and our ability to integrate physical signals with emotions” in teens with internet/gaming addiction* (Gray Matters: Too Much Screen Time Damages the Brain: Neuroimaging research shows excessive screen time damages the brain (2014) by Dr. Dunckley )


HOME Research on the brains of frequent (12 hours per week) video game players (154 14 year olds) compared to infrequent team gamers (under 9 hours/week) showed enlargement of brain structures (ventral striatum – reward center linked to emotion and motivation). Large ventral striatum associated with schizophrenia, OCD, addiction. Also associated with increased dopamine, neurochemical tied to pleasure reward, makes the video game playing more rewarding http://www.livescience.com/17033-gamer-brain-reward-system.html


AROUND ME GOOD: Some video games train visual-spatial processing, can increase attention, reaction (flight simulator) T imes and sorting out details within clutter Some games promote physical activity ( Wii ) Visual tracking BAD: Visual/Auditory systems are overstimulated while touch, movement in space, coordination understimulated . For young children can interfere with attachment because the stimulation doesn’t happen within a relationship where there is physical touch to support calming down Delays in motor development if there is little experience in the three dimensional world. Fixation on screens can compromise ocular development impacting reading and writing


TASK GOOD Access to information (academic, news, etc.) Critical thinking games Coordinate family calendars Stay in connection (Child  Parent ) On-line classes Children can work at their own pace Try on different identities ( rpg ) Take picture of white board for homework assignments Multitasking - quickly incorporating new information to adjust strategy. Learn to mentally rotate objects


TASK BAD *Developmentally , language developed by interaction. Tech is one way or limited on the dimensions of expressive language , expressive language and understanding of non-verbal, nuanced communication is compromised.   *Attention disrupted by the siren call of the device, as it buzzes with a new post   *Focus on past via social media and future regarding how to respond/what others will think. Not in the present.   *High volume of information coming at them at frenetic pace    *Resourcefulness decreased, as there is little practice with imagination  


TASK *Distractions interfere with getting deeply engaged, interfering with the joy of the meaningful relationships, values, achievement and investing in creating. *Interferes with the development of patience to invest in reading for extended periods of time   *Premature introduction to content before establishment of core values of trust, safety, curiosity, optimism   *Plagiarism   *Conflict within the family over limits   *Time for imagination, creativity and the space to experiment is preempted with the immediate gratification of technology


TASK Research : Brain scans of internet addicted teens show shrinking of gray matter areas (Zhou 2011, Y uan 2011, Weng 2013, and Weng 2012) in the frontal lobe “which governs executive functions, such as planning, organizing and impulse control. Volume loss was also seen in the striatum, which is involved in the reward pathways and the suppression of socially unacceptable impulses” (Gray Matters: Too Much Screen Time Damages the Brain: Neuroimaging research shows excessive screen time damages the brain (2014) by Dr. Dunckley )


PARENTING Consider access to the Internet like giving the keys to the car to your child. They need education and training. Fear, harsh limits and over-control can drive a wedge in your relationship, bred distrust and sneakiness.


PARENTING - ASSESS From Good and Fang (2015) consider: Content risks (access to pornography, violent or hateful material).   Contact risks (harassment, stalking, grooming and meeting strangers off line)   Conduct risks (addiction, spending money, bullying, hostile peer activity, sexual harassment by peers and


PARENTING - ASSESS KNOW YOUR CHILD – IS MY CHILD VULNERABLE? Age – American Academy of Pediatrics recommends not screens before 2 years of age Difficulty regulating their emotions? Difficulty with impulse control? Use technology as an escape from difficult emotions? Social challenges (loneliness, difficulty making and maintaining friends, understanding others feelings, etc.) Academic challenges? History of trauma, bullying, adoption Neurodevelopmental challenges (ASD, Non-verbal learning disorder, ADHD, Learning disability, etc) Difficulty with entertaining him/herself, limited imagination


PARENTING - EDUCATE DISCUSSION TOPICS Anonymity allows bad behavior, anything said anonymously needs to be questioned When there is an absence of consequences or feedback (ranging from looking at peoples responses to being held accountable for your actions ) the risk of bad behavior INCREASES What is written is NOT temporary – it can follow you or the other person


PARENTING - EDUCATE EDUCATE YOURSELF ON SOCIAL MEDIA APPS Tinder, Ask.fm , Whisper, Snapchat , Burn Note, Let’s date, Kik messenger, WhatsApp , Slingshot, Chatroulette , Yik Yak, Voxer , Poke, Vine, tumblr Instagram , Shots of me, Audio Manager, Calculator%, Vaulty , Line, Omegle , Blendr ,Devinart http://www.steamfeed.com/parents-child-uses-social-media/ http://www.familyeducation.com/fun/mobile-apps/safety-beyond-facebook-12-social-media-apps-every-parent-should-know-about http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-12-apps-that-every-parent-of-a-teen-should-know-about_us_56c34e49e4b0c3c55052a6ba


PARENTING - EDUCATE Walk through scenarios about unwanted and unsafe situations: “ gross photos ”, stalking, bullying, marketing Model and practice responses to unsavory content – Have them practice saying the words out loud they would use if inappropriate content came their way. Teach your kids how to use screenshot . This can be for sharing positives Alerting you about uncomfortable content so you can coach them to close or delete the content Demonstrate to them how “temporary” things can become permanent and redistributed Allow you to have open conversation later. Gives them an experience of not acting impulsively

PARENTING How to take Screenshots:

PARENTING How to take Screenshots   Mac: “Command” + “Shift” + 3 saves a copy of your current screen to your desktop   PC: The “ PrntScn ” key saves a copy of your current screen to your desktop   iOS ( iPhone , iPad , iPod Touch): Press “Home” + “Sleep/Wake” at the same time, and an image of your current screen will save to the Photos app   Android: Hold “Volume Down” + “Power” for one or two seconds, and an image of your current screen will save to the “Screenshots” folder in the Gallery or Photos app.   Right Click: Parenting your Teenager in a Digital Media World (2015) by Kara Powell, Art Bamford , Brad M. Griffin.      

PARENTING Setting the rules of the road:

PARENTING Setting the rules of the road Screen Free Zones What screens where? How screens get used - private, social, family time? Phones/tablets/Computer check in time Agreements about devices at mealtimes Set times for Tech ( ie : for 2 hours only after homework is completed or on weekends only)

PARENTING Setting the rules of the road:

PARENTING Setting the rules of the road Rules about tech before bedtime (all screens off 2 hours before sleep ) Set rules about monitoring Screen time setting boundaries together: https://fulleryouthinstitute.org/assets/fyi-files/Screentime_Boundaries_Worksheet.pdf Put in place a process for approving apps: https://fulleryouthinstitute.org/assets/fyi-files/Request_For_App-q50eb.pdf

PARENTING Setting the rules of the road:

PARENTING Setting the rules of the road Set rules together – Consider a responsibility agreement: Written , co-created document agreement between you and the child that you both sign. Structured time to talk What the child wants (don’t correct) you write What you want and child writes Identify consequences if agreement not followed (for both child and adult) Listening to understand, not to correct (modeling this skill) Work through objections Don’t add things on the fly to the agreement Enforce both sides of the agreement  

PARENTING Monitoring:

PARENTING Monitoring Consider the level of trust you can have in your child. Do you have reason to not trust your child? Many have multiple accounts, one that they permit parents to access and others under pseudonym. If they have violated trust, the rules of the game change. Notice your child’s response to your queries about their Internet world. Notice if your child has communication during sleeping hours. Does your child have their device in their bedroom where they can be unobserved ?

PARENTING Monitoring:

PARENTING Monitoring Look at the ads that populate on your child’s Internet searches. (If your child deletes their history, data mining will generate ads based on their previous Internet activities) Monitor your child's device use with activity reports https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/help/12441/microsoft-account-monitor-child-device-activity Note what video games is your child plays

PARENTING Monitoring:

PARENTING Monitoring Research : “In a study of 45 adolescents, playing violent video games for only 30 minutes immediately lowered activity in the prefrontal regions of the brain compared to those who participated in a non-violent game. Previous research showed that just 10–20 minutes of violent gaming increased activity in the brain regions associated with arousal, anxiety, and emotional reaction, while simultaneously reducing activity in the frontal lobes associated with emotion regulation and executive control.” https:// patients.aan.com/resources/neurologynow/index.cfm?event = home.showArticle&id =ovid.com%3A%2Fbib%2Fovftdb%2F01222928-201410030-00017

PARENTING Monitoring:

PARENTING Monitoring Regular and periodic checking in of social media accounts, texts, chats, etc. (consider looking at history to see if it is deleted, ads posted as they are generated from sites visited). Parental control and monitoring products http://www.pcmag.com/products/26690/2


PARENTING Balance Insist on extracurricular activities to balance virtual with real world experiences (sport, scouts, youth groups, church groups) * Practice social skills *Physical activity for healthy body *Practice arousal regulation *Practice transitions *Have opportunities for problem- solving Follow their interest Help them overcome resistance that is based on sensory challenges, fear, anxiety. Why People with Aspergers Play Video Games https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBQA-6n7mnM

Is it a Problem?:

Is it a Problem? Research: Andrew Prozybylski of Oxford polled 4,899 British children (10-15 years of age) and found those “who play video games for more than three hours (sic) a day are more likely to be hyperactive, get involved in fights and not be interested in school, says a new study. It examined the effects of different types of games and time spent playing on children’s social and academic behaviour .” Pediatrics http://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2015-04-01-poor-behaviour-linked-time-spent-gaming-not-types-games

Is it a Problem?:

Is it a Problem? INTERNET ADDICTION NIH: Proposed diagnostic criteria (1) Is preoccupied with the Internet (thinks about previous online activity or anticipate next online session); (2) Needs to use the Internet with increased amounts of time in order to achieve satisfaction; (3) Has made unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back, or stop Internet use; (4) Is restless, moody, depressed, or irritable when attempting to cut down or stop Internet use; (5) Has stayed online longer than originally intended. Additionally, at least one of the following must be present: (6) Has jeopardized or risked the loss of a significant relationship, job, educational or career opportunity because of the Internet; (7) Has lied to family members, therapist, or others to conceal the extent of involvement with the Internet; (8) Uses the Internet as a way of escaping from problems or of relieving a dysphoric mood (e.g., feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety, depression ) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3480687/

Is it a Problem?:

Is it a Problem? reSTART HEALTHY FUNCTIONING – LEVEL 1 SUSTAINABLE USE Digital media used as a tool to reach a desired goal Limited use of entertainment, social media Healthy mood fluctuations No screen use 2 hrs before sleep Comfortable interacting socially Physically and socially active Engages in a wide variety of hobbies and activities Social interactions are primarily face-to-face

Is it a Problem?:

Is it a Problem? reStart REACTIVITY ISSUES – LEVEL 2 COMMON DISTRESS: Digital media used to relieve distress on occasion Increasing use of entertainment, video games and social media Irritable, impatient Screen use prior to sleep Some discomfort interacting socially Decreased physical, social activity Limited engagement in a wide variety of hobbies and activities Less face-to-face social interaction

Is it a Problem?:

Is it a Problem? reStart FUNCTIONAL DIFFICULTIES – LEVEL 3 PROBLEMATIC USE Digital media used most of the day for extended periods of time Preoccupation with entertainment, video games and social media Depressed mood, anxiety, anger Academic and employment problems Trouble sleeping, fatigue Breakdown in healthy relationships Physically de-conditioned, likely overweight, or underweight Infrequent social involvement Limited face-to-face social interaction

Is it a Problem?:

Is it a Problem? reSTART DISTRESS/PERSISTENT DIFFICULTIES – LEVEL 4 OUT-OF-CONTROL USE Significant difficulty managing digital media use Limited non-virtual pursuits Significant emotional difficulty Multiple academic failures, unemployment Sleep deprived Breakdown in healthy relationships Physical health problems Limited social involvement Infrequent face-to-face social interaction Suicidal thoughts/intent/behavior


WHEN IT IS A PROBLEM Youtube video on China’s Teen technology addiction https://www.youtube.com/ watch v = jqctG3NnDa0

Problematic Online Gaming Questionnaire Short Form (POGQ-SF) :

Problematic Online Gaming Questionnaire Short Form (POGQ-SF)   Please read the statements below regarding online gaming . The questionnaire REFERS TO ONLINE GAMES exclusively, but we use the expression “game” in each statement for simplicity's sake. Please indicate on the scale from 1 to 5 to what extent, and how often, these statements apply to you!   1 Never 2 Seldom 3 Occasionally 4 Often 5 Always When you are not gaming online, how often do you think about playing a game or think about how would it feel to play at that moment ?   How often do you play online games longer than originally planned ?    How often do you feel depressed or irritable when not gaming online only for these feelings to disappear when you start playing ?    How often do you feel that you should reduce the amount of time you spend gaming online?  How often do the people around you complain that you are gaming online too much ?     How often do you fail to meet up with a friend because you were gaming online ?   How often do you daydream about gaming online ?    How often do you lose track of time when gaming online ?   How often do you get restless or irritable if you are unable to play online games for a few days ?   How often do you unsuccessfully try to reduce the time you spend on online gaming How often do you argue with your parents and/or your partner because of online gaming ?   How often do you neglect other activities because you would rather game online?

Problematic Online Gaming Questionnaire Short Form (POGQ-SF) :

Problematic Online Gaming Questionnaire Short Form (POGQ-SF)   Preoccupation 1, 7   Immersion 2,8 Withdrawal 3, 9   Overuse 4, 10 Interpersonal conflicts 5, 11   Social isolation 6, 12


BOOKS The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family in the Digital Age (2014) by Catherine Steiner-Adair   Right Click: Parenting your Teenager in A Digital Media World (2015) by Art Bamford and Kara Powell   Reset Your Child’s Brain: A Four Week Plan to End Meltdowns, Raise Grades, Boos Social Skills by and Reversing the Effects of Screen-Time (2015) by Victoria Dunckley , M.D.


RESOURCES for GUIDANCE MedLine Plus https://medlineplus.gov/ency/patientinstructions/000355.htm Family Online Safety Institute – good place for getting questions answered https:// www.fosi.org Common Sense Media https://www.commonsensemedia.org/?utm_source=greatschools&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_term=jul19


RESOURCES for SOCIAL MEDIA APPS DEAR PARENTS, PLEASE READ THIS IF YOUR CHILD USES SOCIAL MEDIA APPS http://www.steamfeed.com/parents-child-uses-social-media/ Safety Beyond Facebook : 12 Social Media Apps Every Parent Should Know About http://www.familyeducation.com/fun/mobile-apps/safety-beyond-facebook-12-social-media-apps-every-parent-should-know-about The 12 Apps That Every Parent Of A Teen Should Know About Some apps just enable bad choices. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-12-apps-that-every-parent-of-a-teen-should-know-about_us_56c34e49e4b0c3c55052a6ba

Cyber Safety:

Cyber Safety https://safesmartsocial.com/cyber-safety-tips-for-parenting / https://staysafeonline.org/stay-safe-online/for-parents/raising-digital- citizens http://ikeepsafe.org/parents /


ARTICLES Game Theory: How do video games affect the developing brains of children and teens? https://patients.aan.com/resources/neurologynow/index.cfm?event=home.showArticle&id=ovid.com%3A%2Fbib%2Fovftdb%2F01222928-201410030-00017 Emerging trends in psychology: Tech Dependency http://online.csp.edu/blog/psychology/technology-dependency   Gray Matters: Too Much Screen Time Damages the Brain: Neuroimagingresearch shows excessive screen time damages the brain https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mental-wealth/201402/gray-matters-too-much-screen-time-damages-the-brain   Promoting Smart and Safe Internet Use Among Children with Neurodevelopmental Disorders and Their Parents: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/271773805_Promoting_Smart_and_Safe_Internet_Use_Among_Children_with_Neurodevelopmental_Disorders_and_Their_Parents  


OFC= Orbitofronal cortex

INSULA FUNCTIONS Internal body awareness: Ability to feel one’s own heart beat, subjective sense of inner body, judgment about pain intensity experience and skin temperature sensations Cognitive-emotional processing: empathy, metacognitive (thinking about) emotional feelings :

INSULA FUNCTIONS Internal body awareness : Ability to feel one’s own heart beat, subjective sense of inner body, judgment about pain intensity experience and skin temperature sensations Cognitive-emotional processing : empathy, metacognitive (thinking about) emotional feelings MPFC= Media prefrontal cortex, ACC= Anterior cerebral cortex, VMN= Ventromedial Hypothalamic Nucleus, VLPFC= Ventrolateral Prefontal Cortex

Striatum: Part of Basal Ganglia:

Striatum: Part of Basal Ganglia Subcortical structures: Dorsal Striatum contains Caudate (cognition) Putamen (sensory motor coordination) Ventral Striatum Nucleus Accumbens (motivation) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18824075

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