Reached Middle Age IF

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Slide 1:

You Know you’ve reached middle age if . . . by Joey Green and Alan Corcoran and Illustrated by Dianne Wheeler Pratt Doerschel Class of 1971 40 th Reunion Aug 12-14 2011

Slide 2:

Whenever an old movie comes on television late at night, you’ve already seen it.

Slide 3:

Your baby pictures are in black and white

Slide 4:

Your prescription refill number is programmed into your “speed dial”

Slide 5:

You remember where you were when President Kennedy was shot, but you can’t remember where you put your car keys last night

Slide 6:

You’ve stopped worrying about hair loss and started worrying about memory loss

Slide 7:

You own more electrical appliances than there are electrical outlets in your home

Slide 8:

Paul McCartney, Mick Jagger , and Peter, Paul, and Mary don’t look that old to you.

Slide 9:

The expression “Feel the Burn” has more to do with your stomach and less to do with your muscles

Slide 10:

You vividly remember the day the price of gas went over $1 per gallon

Slide 11:

All your party-animal friends have either mellowed out or been put behind bars

Slide 12:

You remember when you had to be home to get your phone messages

Slide 13:

You know who Ozzie and Harriet are

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You’re looking for a new home with the master bedroom on the first floor

Slide 15:

You bought a car that provides economical transportation instead of one that will impress the ladies or gents

Slide 16:

You’ve stopped supporting your children and started supporting your parents

Slide 17:

You have trouble falling asleep at night in a dark room and a comfortable bed, but you can easily nod off any afternoon . . .

Slide 18:

The waistband of your Fruit of the Looms has migrated north of your navel . . . or south . . .

Slide 19:

You refer to adults in their 20s, 30s, and 40s as “kids”

Slide 20:

Instead of seeing one doctor for all of your ailments, you now have one doctor for each one of your ailments

Slide 21:

Your spouse and kids complain that you’re “tuning them out”, but a dog barking 3 blocks away keeps you up all night

Slide 22:

You dial the telephone and then can’t remember who you called

Slide 23:

You remember your kids’ names, just not always the right one Ok . . Smile Susie . . I mean Jeannie . . . I mean . . . Mary . . . I mean . . . Oh, everyone smile : )

Slide 24:

You know what your cholesterol level is, but can’t remember what your S.A.T. scores were

Slide 25:

Your doctor put you on a diet that consists of oatmeal, dry toast, and 5 pages of foods “to avoid”

Slide 26:

The fear of “turning into your parents” has been replaced by the fear of “turning into your grandparents”

Slide 27:

You fantasize about retiring to one of those great golf communities – even though you suck at golf

Slide 28:

You’ve concluded that whoever originated the expression “Life begins at forty” was full of crap

Slide 29:

You read the microscopic instructions on medicine bottles with HELP!

Slide 30:

You never can remember where you parked your car

Slide 31:

You barely resemble the photo on your driver’s license

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You’d rather wait for a movie to be on cable TV than pay to see it in a movie theater

Slide 33:

You still have a small box containing your 45 rpm records

Slide 34:

You remember having to get up and walk across the room to change channels on a television set

Slide 35:

You remember when the Big Mac was introduced

Slide 36:

You saw Star Wars in the movie theater the first time around

Slide 37:

You make more dentist appointments than restaurant reservations

Slide 38:

You’d stop and take time to smell the flowers, except you can no longer bend over that far without throwing out your back

Slide 39:

You buy shoes for comfort instead of style

Slide 40:

What you paid for 4 years of college won’t pay for 1 semester today

Slide 41:

You still use the word “bummer”

Slide 42:

Whenever you channel surf, you end up watching Nick at Nite

Slide 43:

You need a weed whacker to trim the hair growing from your nose, ears, and eyebrows

Slide 44:

You buy “age-defying” makeup and “anti-wrinkle” creams and believe they work

Slide 45:

You finally gave away that one dress or suit in the back of the closet that hasn’t fit you since you were single

Slide 46:

When you watch reruns of Leave It to Beaver , The Brady Bunch , or The Wonder Years , you identify now with the parents!

Slide 47:

You have a designer box filled with negatives and photos that you’ve been intending to sort for the last ten years

Slide 48:

When your wife mentions “hot oil, a little friction, and squealing”, you tell her you’ll have the car looked at first thing Monday morning

Slide 49:

The car you drove in high school is now considered a “classic” and is worth 10 times its’ original price Remember Char Brown’s PINK Mustang? !

Slide 50:

You can still wear a two-piece bathing suit as long as the 2 nd piece is a floor-length cover-up

Slide 51:

29 39 49 You can no longer claim to be . . .

Slide 52:

You remember when you used to have to go inside the bank to get money

Slide 53:

Acne has given way to hemorrhoids and arthritis

Slide 54:

You once owned a pair of hot pants

Slide 55:

Your answering machine is older than your oldest child

Slide 56:

You once owned a black-and-white television

Slide 57:

Instead of “Make a Photocopy” you “Xerox It”

Slide 58:

You still call the letter carrier “the mailman”, the flight attendant “the stewardess”, and the trash collector “the garbage man”

Slide 59:

There’s a tube of Ben-Gay in your medicine cabinet

Slide 60:

You told someone “I haven’t seen him in twenty , thirty , forty years”

Slide 61:

You’ve slept in another room in your house because your spouse snores

Slide 62:

You’ve walked into a room and then couldn’t remember why . . . and this happens more and more . . .

Slide 63:

You’ve been using the same brand of soap and toothpaste for the last 20 30 40 years

Slide 64:

All of your breakfast cereals have the word “bran” somewhere in their names

Slide 65:

You remember when phones had cords and televisions had antennas

Slide 66:

You’ve got boxes of slides in carousels that you haven’t looked at in over 10 20 30 40 years

Slide 67:

You have a cabinet full of videotapes of your kids that you’ve never watched

Slide 68:

You know how to use a rotary phone

Slide 69:

You’ve replaced your waterbed with a Sealy Posturepedic

Slide 70:

You remember when you had to lick postage stamps

Slide 71:

All of your passwords and PIN numbers are the same four digits

Slide 72:

Today’s college graduate was born after your college graduation

Slide 73:

You have a drawer full of orphaned AC adapters that you refuse to throw out

Slide 74:

You remember when pocket calculators were bigger than a cellular phone

Slide 75:

You watched Princess Diana’s wedding on television

Slide 76:

Your watch only tells the time

Slide 77:

You can name all the Beatles but you can’t name all the Spice Girls

Slide 78:

Your Barbie dolls and Nancy Drew books are collector’s items

Slide 79:

You once thought Atari was going to take over the world

Slide 80:

Your rock idols are eligible for Medicare

Slide 81:

When you were a kid, a “really cool web site” involved a large spider and some mummified flies.

Slide 82:

You remember when a big-screen TV was the 25-inch model

Slide 83:

Neccos Drake’s Coffee Cakes and Pixie Stix You remember fondly the culinary delights of

Slide 84:

Bill Gates is young enough to be your son

Slide 85:

You owned an 8-track tape deck . . . and still want to use it!

Slide 86:

You read George Orwell’s 1984 before 1984

Slide 87:

You owned a leisure suit

Slide 88:

You remember a time when nothing was digital

Slide 89:

You once owned a pet rock

Slide 90:

You’ve seen all seventeen James Bond movies – in the theater

Slide 91:

Your passport photo looks better than you do

Slide 92:

You remember when meat, potatoes, and gravy was considered a well-balanced meal

Slide 93:

When you were a kid, you were allowed to go trick-or-treating without adult supervision

Slide 94:

One cabinet is devoted entirely to bottles of vitamins and/or prescription bottles!

Slide 95:

You’d rather go to bed early on New Year’s Eve

Slide 96:

You relate to senior citizens better than to teenagers

Slide 97:

You’ve come to the realization that whoever said “You’re not getting older, you’re getting better” was not under oath

Slide 98:

You think if you hear “ Stairway to Heaven ” one more time your head will explode

Slide 99:

The group photo from your high school reunion could be the “before” picture for the Hair Club for Men

Do You Remember . . .:

Do You Remember . . . by Dianne Wheeler Pratt Doerschel

Green Stamps:

Green Stamps

45 rpm spindles:

45 rpm spindles

Metal Ice Cube Trays:

Metal Ice Cube Trays

Beany and Cecil:

Beany and Cecil

Roller Skate Keys:

Roller Skate Keys

Cork Pop Guns:

Cork Pop Guns

Marlin Perkins:

Marlin Perkins

Drive-In Movies with window- hanging-radio-receiving devices for sound:

Drive-In Movies with window- hanging-radio-receiving devices for soun d

Drive-In Restaurants:

Drive-In Restaurants Car Hops &

Studebakers:

Studebakers

Topo Gigio:

Topo Gigio

Washtub Ringers:

Washtub Ringers

Red Skelton as The Fuller Brush Man:

Red Skelton as The Fuller Brush Man

Sky King:

Sky King

Reel – To – Reel Tape:

Reel – To – Reel Tape

Tinker Toys:

Tinker Toys

Erector Sets:

Erector Sets

Lincoln Logs:

Lincoln Logs

15 ¢ hamburgers:

15 ¢ hamburgers

5 ¢ packs of baseball cards:

5 ¢ packs of baseball cards

Penny candy:

Penny candy

25 ¢/gallon gasoline:

25 ¢/gallon gasoline

Jiffy Pop popcorn:

Jiffy Pop popcorn

5 ¢ stamps:

5 ¢ stamps

Gum Wrapper Chains:

Gum Wrapper Chains

Chatty Cathy Dolls:

Chatty Cathy Dolls

5 ¢ Cokes:

5 ¢ Cokes

Speedy Alka-Seltzer:

Speedy Alka-Seltzer

Cigarettes for Christmas:

Cigarettes for Christmas

Falstaff Beer:

Falstaff Beer

Burma Shave Signs:

Burma Shave Signs

Brownie Cameras:

Brownie Cameras

Flash Bulbs:

Flash Bulbs

TV Test Patterns:

TV Test Patterns

Walt Disney’s Old Yeller:

Walt Disney’s Old Yeller

Chef Boy-AR-Dee:

Chef Boy-AR-Dee

Fire Escape Tubes:

Fire Escape Tubes

Timmy and Lassie:

Timmy and Lassie

Ding Dong Avon Calling:

Ding Dong Avon Calling

Brylcream:

Brylcream

Aluminum Christmas Tree with color spin wheel:

Aluminum Christmas Tree with color spin wheel

Old Time TV Shows:

Old Time TV Shows ● Twilight Zone ● Smothers Brothers ● Outer Limits ● Laugh In ● Man from Uncle ● Ed Sullivan Show ● Star Trek ● Red Skelton ● The Patty Duke Show ● Wagon Train ● The Avengers ● Gunsmoke ● The Saint ● The Rifleman ● Bonanza ● Have Gun Will Travel ● Honey West ● Sgt Preston ● Rawhide ● Sky King ● Rin Tin Tin ● Lassie ● Maverick ● Lawrence Welk ● The Lucy Show ● Popeye and so many more!!

Top 25 TV Shows Oct 1970 – Apr 1971:

Top 25 TV Shows Oct 1970 – Apr 1971 October 1970 - April 1971 1. Marcus Welby , M.D. 2. The Flip Wilson Show 3. Here's Lucy 4. Ironside 5. Gunsmoke 6. ABC Movie of the Week 7. Hawaii Five-O 8. Medical Center 9. Bonanza 10. The F.B.I. 11. Mod Squad 12. Adam-12 13. Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In 14. The Wonderful World of Disney 15. Mayberry R.F.D. 16. Hee Haw 17. Mannix 18. The Men From Shiloh 19. My Three Sons 20. The Doris Day Show 21. The Smith Family 22. The Mary Tyler Moore Show 23. NBC Saturday Night Movie 24. The Dean Martin Show 25. The Carol Burnett Show

Top 25 TV Shows Oct 1971 – Apr 1972:

Top 25 TV Shows Oct 1971 – Apr 1972 October 1971 - April 1972 1. All in the Family 2. The Flip Wilson Show 3. Marcus Welby, M.D. 4. Gunsmoke 5. ABC Movie of the Week 6. Sanford and Son 7. Mannix 8. Funny Face 9.Adam-12 10. Mary Tyler Moore Show 11. Here's Lucy 12. Hawaii Five-O 13. Medical Center 14. The NBC Mystery Movie 15. Ironside 16. The Partridge Family 17. The F.B. I. 18. The New Dick Van Dyke Show 19. The Wonderful World of Disney 20. Bonanza 21. Mod Squad 22. Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In 23. The Carol Burnett Show 24. The Doris Day Show 25. ABC NFL Football

Top 10 Movies of the 1970s http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/movie-pages/movie_70s.html:

Top 10 Movies of the 1970s http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/movie-pages/movie_70s.html 1 . The Godfather - (1972, Francis Ford Coppola) (Marlon Brando, Al Pacino ) 2. The Godfather part II - (1974, Francis Ford Coppola) (Al Pacino , Robert DeNiro ) 3. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest - (1975, Milos Forman) (Jack Nicholson, Louise Fletcher ) 4. Apocalypse Now - (1979, Francis Ford Coppola) (Martin Sheen, Robert Duvall ) 5. Chinatown - (1974, Roman Polanski) (Jack Nicholson, John Huston) 6. A Clockwork Orange - (1971, Stanley Kubrick) (Malcolm McDowell, Patrick MaGee ) 7. Star Wars - (1977, George Lucas) (Mark Hamill , Harrison Ford ) 8. Jaws - (1975, Steven Spielberg) (Roy Scheider , Richard Dreyfuss ) 9. Taxi Driver - (1976, Martin Scorsese) (Robert DeNiro , Jodie Foster 10 . The Deer Hunter - (1978, Michael Cimino ) (Robert DeNiro , Christopher Walken )

Next 10 Movies of the 1970s http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/movie-pages/movie_70s.html:

11. Annie Hall - (1977, Woody Allen) (Woody Allen, Diane Keaton) 12. Network - (1976, Sydney Lumet) (Peter Finch, William Holden) 13. Rocky - (1976, John G. Avildsen ) (Sylvester Stallone, Carl Weathers) 14. Patton - (1970, Franklin J. Schaffner ) (George C. Scott, Karl Malden) 15. Close Encounters of the Third Kind - (1977, Steven Spielberg) (Richard Dreyfuss , Teri Garr) 16 . M*A*S*H - (1970, Robert Altman) (Elliot Gould, Donald Sutherland) 17. The Exorcist - (1973, William Friedkin ) (Ellen Burstyn, Linda Blair) 18. American Graffiti - (1973, George Lucas) (Ron Howard, Richard Dreyfuss ) 19. The French Connection - (1971, William Friedkin ) (Gene Hackman , Roy Scheider ) 20. Mean Streets - (1973, Martin Scorsese) (Harvey Keitel, Robert DeNiro ) Next 10 Movies of the 1970s http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/movie-pages/movie_70s.html

Next 10 Movies of the 1970s http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/movie-pages/movie_70s.html:

21. Aguirre, the Wrath of God - (1972, Werner Herzog) (Klaus Kinski ) (Cecilia Rivera) 2. Blazing Saddles - (1974, Mel Brooks) (Gene Wilder, Cleavon Little) 23. Last Tango in Paris - (1972, Bernardo Bertolucci ) (Marlon Brando, Maria Schneider) 24. Monty Python and the Holy Grail - (1974, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones) (G. Chapman, Eric Idle) 25. The Rocky Horror Picture Show - (1975, Jim Sharmon ) (Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon) 26. Serpico - (1973, Sydney Lumet) (Al Pacino , Tony Roberts) 27. Young Frankenstein - (1974, Mel Brooks) (Gene Wilder, Peter Boyle) 28. Deliverance - (1972, John Boorman ) (Burt Reynolds, Jon Voight ) 29. Barry Lyndon - (1975, Stanley Kubrick) (Ryan O'Neal, Marisa Berenson) 30. National Lampoon's Animal House - (1978, John Landis) (John Belushi , Tim Matheson) Next 10 Movies of the 1970s http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/movie-pages/movie_70s.html

Next 10 Movies of the 1970s http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/movie-pages/movie_70s.html:

31. Alien - (1979, Ridley Scott) (Tom Skerritt , Sigouney Weaver) 32 . The Sting - (1973, George Roy Hill) (Robert Redford, Paul Newman) 33 . Dog Day Afternoon - (1975, Sydney Lumet) (Al Pacino , John Cazale ) 34 . Five Easy Pieces - (1970, Bob Rafelson ) (Jack Nicholson, Karen Black) 35 . The Conversation - (1974, Francis Ford Coppola) (Gene Hackman , John Cazale ) 36 . Halloween - (1978, John Carpenter) (Donald Pleasence , Jamie Lee Curtis) 37 . The Last Picture Show - (1971, Peter Bogdanovich ) (Timothy Buttons, Jeff Bridges) 38 . Nashville - (1975, Robert Altman) (Henry Gibson, Barbara Baxley) 39 . Saturday Night Fever - (1977, John Badham ) (John Travolta, Karen Gorney ) 40 . McCabe and Mrs. Miller - (1971, Robert Altman) (Warren Beatty, Julie Christie) Next 10 Movies of the 1970s http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/movie-pages/movie_70s.html

Next 10 Movies of the 1970s http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/movie-pages/movie_70s.html:

41. All the President's Men - (1976, Alan J. Pakula ) (Dustin Hoffman, Robert Redford) 42 . Dirty Harry - (1971, Don Siegel) (Clint Eastwood, Harry Guardino ) 43 . Grease - (1978, Randal Kleiser ) (John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John) 44 . Manhattan - (1979, Woody Allen) (Woody Allen, Diane Keaton) 45 . Scenes from a Marriage - (1973, Ingmar Bergman) ( Liv Ullman , Bibi Andersson ) 46 . Badlands - (1973, Terrence Malick ) (Martin Sheen, Sissy Spacek ) 47 . Coming Home - (1978, Hal Ashby) (Jon Voight , Jane Fonda) 48 . Cries and Whispers - (1972, Ingmar Bergman) (Harriet Andersson , Kari Sylwan ) 49 . Carrie - (1976, Brian De Palma) (Sissy Spacek , Piper Laurie) 50 . The Conformist - (1970, Bernardo Bertolucci ) (Jean-Louis Trintignant , Dominique Sandra) Next 10 Movies of the 1970s http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/movie-pages/movie_70s.html

Costs of Living in 1971 http://www.thepeoplehistory.com/1971.html:

Costs of Living in 1971 http:// www.thepeoplehistory.com/1971.html Average Cost of n ew house - $25,250.00 Average Income per year - $10,600.00 Average Monthly Rent - $ 150.00 Cost of a gallon of Gas - 40 cents Datsun 1200 Sports Coupe - $ 1,866.00 United States postage Stamp - 8 cents Ladies 2 piece knit suites - $ 9.98 Movie Ticket - $ 1.50 Year End Close Dow Jones Industrial Average - 890

1967 Flashback http://www.1960sflashback.com:

1967 Flashback http://www.1960sflashback.com Cost of a new home : $24,600.00 Median Household Income : $7,143.00 Cost of a first-class stamp : $0.05 Cost of a gallon of regular gas : $0.33 Cost of a dozen eggs : $0.49 Cost of a gallon of Milk : $1.03 President: Lyndon B. Johnson Vice President : Hubert H. Humphrey Population : 198,712,056 Life expectancy : 70.5 years Unemployment : 3.8%

1968 Flashback http://www.1960sflashback.com:

1968 Flashback http://www.1960sflashback.com Cost of a new home : $26,600.00 Median Household Income : $7,743.00 Cost of a first-class stamp : $0.05 ($0.06 as of 1/7/68) Cost of a gallon of regular gas : $0.34 Cost of a dozen eggs : $0.53 Cost of a gallon of Milk : $1.07 President : Lyndon B. Johnson Vice President : Hubert H. Humphrey Population : 200,706,052 Life expectancy : 70.2 years Unemployment : 3.8%

1969 Flashback http://www.1960sflashback.com:

1969 Flashback http://www.1960sflashback.com Cost of a new home : $27,900.00 Median Household Income : $8,389.00 Cost of a first-class stamp : $0.06 Cost of a gallon of regular gas : $0.35 Cost of a dozen eggs : $0.62 Cost of a gallon of Milk : $1.10 President : Richard M Nixon Vice President : Spiro T Agnew Population : 202,676,946 Life expectancy : 70.5 years Unemployment : 3.6%

1970 Flashback http://www.1960sflashback.com:

1970 Flashback http://www.1960sflashback.com Cost of a new home : $26,600.00 Median Household Income : $8,734.00 Cost of a first-class stamp : $0.06 Cost of a gallon of regular gas : $0.36 Cost of a dozen eggs : $0.62 Cost of a gallon of Milk : $1.15 President : Richard M Nixon Vice President : Spiro T Agnew Population : 205,052,174 Life expectancy : 70.8 years Unemployment : 3.5%

1971 Flashback http://www.1960sflashback.com:

1971 Flashback http://www.1960sflashback.com Cost of a new home : $28,300.00 Median Household Income : $9,028.00 Cost of a first-class stamp : $0.06 ($0.08 as of 5/16/71) Cost of a gallon of regular gas : $0.36 Cost of a dozen eggs : $0.53 Cost of a gallon of Milk : $1.18 President : Richard M Nixon Vice President : Spiro T Agnew Population : 207,660,677 Life expectancy : 71.1 years Unemployment : 4.9%

Events of 1971 http://www.thepeoplehistory.com/1971.html:

Events of 1971 http:// www.thepeoplehistory.com/1971.html A new stock market index called the Nasdaq debuts The Voting Age in the United States is lowered to 18 yrs old when the 26th Amendment to the US constition is ratified Amtrak created to provide US inter city passenger train services. The Walt Disney World Resort opens in Florida Greenpeace formally comes into existence. Cigarette Advertising Ended on Television in USA In an attempt to control inflation President Richard M. Nixon implements 90 day freeze on wages and prices , he also removed the gold/silver backing from the US Dollar

Events of 1971 http://www.thepeoplehistory.com/1971.html:

Events of 1971 http:// www.thepeoplehistory.com/1971.html Charles Manson and three of his followers receive the death penalty Major League Baseball was born Intel releases world's first microprocessor Texas Instruments releases the first pocket calculator The First Internet Chat rooms appear The First Cat Scanner Produced by EMI Apollo 14 lands on the Moon . Apollo 15 astronauts become the first to ride in a lunar rover a day after landing on the surface.