Dill Pickle Love Chapter 3 The Godly Woman

Slide 1:

1 Dill Pickle Love Chapter 3 God’s Greatest Gift to a Man: the g odly w oman

Dill Pickle Love :

2 Dill Pickle Love What Love Really is … and is not by Paul McCormick with Cynthia Bixler McCormick copyright 2009 – all rights reserved Gad zūke Publishing

Dill Pickle Love: Review:

3 Dill Pickle Love: Review Common Definitions for “Love” “A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.” “A feeling of warm personal attachment of deep affection…” “Sexual passion or desire.”

Dill Pickle Love: Review:

4 Dill Pickle Love: Review Farlex Dictionary Agape - αγαπ é (agapao): The selfless love of one person to another without sexual implication (especially love that is spiritual in nature). Love, as revealed in Jesus, seen as spiritual and selfless and a model for humanity. Love that is spiritual, not sexual, in its nature.

Dill Pickle Love: Review:

5 Dill Pickle Love: Review Agape ( αγαπ é) The selfless devotion of one person to another.

Qualities of Dill Pickle Love:

6 Qualities of Dill Pickle Love It operates in “response to” Is dependent upon conditions and circumstances Is flawed by selfishness Is rooted in emotion Lacks commitment Is impatient Is unkind Is jealous & envious Is easily provoked Is proud & boastful Does not communicate Is NOT sacrificial in nature Ultimately Fails

Three Types of Love:

7 Three Types of Love Philos 2. Eros 3. Agape Innate Innate Learned Intellectual in nature Emotional in nature Spiritual in nature Discriminatory Discriminatory Non-discriminatory Conditional Conditional Unconditional Based in pleasure Based in pleasure Based in Preciousness Focuses on Delight Focuses on Self-gratification Focuses on Esteem for the other Liking Lusting Prizing “Because of…” “Because of…” “In spite of…” Fails Fails Never fails Keeps “score” Keeps “score” Does not keep “Score” Non-sacrificial Selfish Sacrificial Envious Jealous Trusting

Dill Pickle Love::

8 Dill Pickle Love: Chapter 3 God’s Greatest Gift to a Man t he g odly w oman

Slide 9:

9 Men: What kind of woman do you want to be with? Women: What kind of woman do you want to be? The g odly w oman: Chapter 3

The godly woman: :

10 The g odly w oman: How about this? A woman who: Is passionate and intimate Is trusting Is devoted Is honorable Has a sense of value Looks for good, not for faults Is forgiving Is patient Is encouraging Would being or being with such a woman interest you? Guess What? You have just described the Godly Woman

The godly woman:

11 The g odly w oman “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man must first seek Him to be able to find her.” You will not be able to “capture” the heart of a Godly woman without first seeking the Lord, yourself.

The godly woman:

12 The g odly w oman Why should a man even want a Godly woman or why should a woman seek to be Godly? The answer is this: The Godly woman offers a quality of character, a capacity for love, a purity of heart, a forgiving spirit, and a willingness to give that is not to be found otherwise. Anything else is, at best , a distant second.

The godly woman:

13 The g odly w oman Why is that? It is because the very qualities of Agape Love, which are so essential to ultimate fulfillment in a relationship, all originate from God. Agape love is not possible without Him. Therefore, Agape love can be found only in a Godly woman (or man).

The godly woman: Passion, Intimacy and Sex:

14 The g odly w oman: Passion, Intimacy and Sex Before we begin this section, I need to tell you a couple of things. First, Cynthia and I did not have sex with each other until after we were married. There was sacred commitment we made to each other in that regard which we did not break. Because of that, this section on sex is not theoretical. While I have talked to couples about the sexual aspect of their marriage, this section is more based on what I happened between Cynthia and I. As our intimacy developed with out it being based in sex, I saw the emergence of a definite pattern that got more intense as the weeks went by. In those moments when we were passionate with each other (and there were many) the level of intimacy developed through means other than sex, manifested itself in moments of passion. The level of intimacy and intensity of the passion far surpassed any I have ever experienced with another. Ever.

The godly woman: Passion, Intimacy and Sex:

15 The g odly w oman: Passion, Intimacy and Sex “ p assion:” “Any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate. “Strong amorous feeling or desire: love; ardor. “Strong sexual desire… “A strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything…” “ i ntimacy:” “A close, familiar, and unusually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.” “A close association with, or detailed knowledge or deep understanding of...”

The godly woman: Passion, Intimacy and Sex:

16 The g odly w oman: Passion, Intimacy and Sex Many men tend to think a Godly woman will be inherently frigid and sexually boring. After all, they think, the Bible puts the “kibosh” on sex. (This, by the way, is ridiculous). Some, I think, confuse the concept of being a Godly woman with that of being a nun who has vowed not to partake in sexual activity. Others, may feel that being Godly and sexual are contradictory to each other.

The godly woman: Passion, Intimacy and Sex:

17 The g odly w oman: Passion, Intimacy and Sex God made us to be sexual beings. He is the originator of the concept of sexuality. He made us male and female and He fully expects sex will be part of any relationship between a husband and wife. Being Godly, and sexual are NOT contradictory to each other. They are, rather, in perfect harmony and in keeping with God’s grand design.

The Pitfalls of Sex:

18 The Pitfalls of Sex Sex, in and of itself, is not satisfying for the long term. Having sex, just for the sake of having an orgasm, is fundamentally selfish. The act of intercourse does not inherently carry with it an adequate level of passion and intimacy which elevates sex to a whole new level. Without such passion and true intimacy, the act of sex is more lust than anything and is reduced to the level of the animal kingdom.

The godly woman: Passion, Intimacy and Sex:

19 The g odly w oman: Passion, Intimacy and Sex The Godly woman brings with her the ability to elevate the physical act of sex to the highest level of intimacy and passion possible, and in so doing, truly transforms the act of “ having sex” into the intimate experience of “ making love .”

The godly woman: Passion, Intimacy and Sex:

20 The g odly w oman: Passion, Intimacy and Sex She is able to do so because she carries with her the Godly qualities of Agape Love which manifest themselves even in the sexual aspect of the relationship, which is not only physical, but spiritual as well. WOW !

The godly woman: Passion, Intimacy and Sex:

21 The g odly w oman: Passion, Intimacy and Sex The Man’s Response: The man responds positively. A connection of the spirit begins to take place, not just physical. The passion of sex becomes inter-twined with an acute awareness of her value and preciousness. In the midst of that fantastic awareness, he sees her not as a vehicle to transport him to sexual ecstasy, but as the most precious treasure of his life. The Godly woman in her brings out the Godly man in him, and the act of sex is transformed into a fantastic physical expression of the Agape Love they feel for each other.

The godly woman: Passion, Intimacy and Sex:

22 The g odly w oman: Passion, Intimacy and Sex Sex does not get better than that. This is intimacy and passion at the highest level; and it is of God. Sex with a Godly woman is as good as it gets. Period.

The godly woman: Passion, Intimacy and Sex:

23 The g odly w oman: Passion, Intimacy and Sex To experience the intimacy of Agape Love given from a Godly woman, is to experience intimacy at its most profound level. Dill Pickle Love is not capable of offering such intimacy. It is too selfish to care about fulfilling the needs of others, including sexually.

The godly woman: Trust:

24 The g odly w oman: Trust Many years ago, a wise old man told me, “By the time you reach my age, you will be able to count on one hand, the number of people you have been able to completely trust for your entire life.” He was right.

The godly woman: Trust:

25 The g odly w oman: Trust “Trust:” Reliance on the integrity, strength, ability…of a person or thing, or To rely upon or place confidence in someone or something. “Integrity:” Adherence to moral and ethical principles, soundness of moral character; honesty. The state of being whole, entire, or undiminished.

The godly woman: Trust:

26 The g odly w oman: Trust The Godly woman is a woman of: Integrity and strength. Moral and ethical principles. Honesty. She is a woman of trust and is worth trusting.

The godly woman: Trust:

27 The g odly w oman: Trust The Godly woman possesses strength and abilities given to her by God. A man, who is able to rely on the strength of his Godly spouse, will not have to rely only upon himself to successfully face the difficulties of life. This is one of the many examples in which two are better than one. The Godly woman is truly a “help-mate.” Her strengths and abilities will be welcomed resources to the man who is not threatened by them.

The godly woman: Trust:

28 The g odly w oman: Trust Without trust, a relationship will not survive.

The godly woman: Trust:

29 The g odly w oman: Trust Trust in a relationship involves: Relinquishing control to another. Taking risks. Acceptance of the other and the outcome. Action. Dependence upon the other. Granting of privilege to the other. There is no safer place to put your trust than with a Godly woman.

The godly woman: Devotion:

30 The g odly w oman: Devotion A Godly woman is committed and devoted to both her partner and to the relationship.

The godly woman: Devotion:

31 The g odly w oman: Devotion A Godly woman’s description and definition of “devotion”: “The first thing that comes to mind is that devotion is not based on feelings, but, rather, it is based on promise and is inseparably intertwined with commitment. It is based on a conscious decision, and once it is made, actions follow suit. It is sort of like breathing. After the commitment of devotion is made, you just do it. You do not wake up and say to yourself, ‘I will be devoted to my husband today.’ It just comes on its own. ”

The godly woman: Devotion:

32 The g odly w oman: Devotion Regarding relationships and marriage, she said that, “Devotion is based, not on his response to me, but my commitment to him. I will be there for him through thick and thin. There is no wavering, no matter what the circumstances may be. It is a sacred covenant and breaking it is not an option.” ~ Cynthia Bixler McCormick ~

The godly woman: Devotion:

33 The g odly w oman: Devotion Devotion is: Based on promise Is inseparable from commitment Based on my commitment to the other Is a conscious decision Results in action Being there through “thick and thin” Dill Pickle “Devotion” is: Based on feelings In “response to” ____________ Wavering Dependent on circumstances _____________________________ “Devotion is a sacred covenant and breaking it, is not an option.”

The godly woman: Devotion:

34 The g odly w oman: Devotion “Love (agape) never fails…” 1 Corinthians 13 Dill Pickle Love knows nothing of devotion such as this. In Dill Pickle Love , “devotion” is dependent upon circumstances and conditions, and may or may not endure. It is a risky proposition, at best.

The godly woman: Honor & Esteem:

35 The g odly w oman: Honor & Esteem To “honor” someone is to: “Regard them with deserving highest esteem and treat them with reverence as they are themselves venerable and are a source of admirable distinction.”

The godly woman: Honor & Esteem:

36 The g odly w oman: Honor & Esteem The Godly woman herself, is not only honorable, but she gives honor to her husband, as well. She is worthy of receiving honor from her spouse, as she herself honors him. It is a two way street.

The godly woman: Honor & Esteem:

37 The g odly w oman: Honor & Esteem Do you want your spouse to honor you? Then, love them with Agape Love. Do you want your spouse to respect you? Then, love them with Agape Love. Do you want your spouse to have esteem for you? Then, love them with Agape Love .

The godly woman: Honor & Esteem:

38 The g odly w oman: Honor & Esteem “In the Marine Corp, ‘honor’ is not just a word; it is an unbreakable code that is shared among Marines. It is about respecting others along with taking responsibilities for one’s actions. Honor, along with courage and commitment, define who the Marines are and what they stand for.”

The godly woman: Honor & Esteem:

39 The g odly w oman: Honor & Esteem In Marriage, “honor” is not just a word: it is an unbreakable covenant that is shared between the two partners. It is about respecting each other along with taking responsibilities for one’s own actions. Honor, along with courage and commitment, define what Marriage is and what it stands for.

The godly woman: Honor & Esteem:

40 The g odly w oman: Honor & Esteem How does it work? The Godly woman honors and respects her husband and is devoted to him with courage rooted in the unbreakable covenant of marriage she has made with her husband, herself and God. It is born in Agape Love. She offers it in conjunction with the Agape Love her husband offers her. In receiving this honor, the Godly husband is affected at the deepest level and will strive to be the best man he can be for her. He will strive to honor her in return for this great gift she gives.

The godly woman: Honor & Esteem:

41 The g odly w oman: Honor & Esteem Agape Love from Husband to Wife Man honors Woman receives Her in return honor from him Man receives this honor and strives to be the best he can be Becomes self sustaining

The godly woman: Honor & Esteem:

42 The g odly w oman: Honor & Esteem In Dill Pickle Love , honor and esteem are conspicuously absent. As a result, the relationship suffers greatly; because, honor/respect is an essential component of the very bond which holds a marriage together and makes it truly worth fighting for.

The godly woman: Value:

43 The g odly w oman: Value “Value”: Relative worth, merit and importance. Is, by definition, inseparably linked to “honor”. Shows itself in the little things of everyday life.

The godly woman: Value:

44 The g odly w oman: Value The Godly woman is: Dear Important Invaluable Precious A prize A treasure Worthy of respect Worthy of esteem Worthy of admiration Beloved The Godly woman is to be: Held dear Appreciated Valued Cherished Prized Treasured Respected Esteemed Admired Beloved

The godly woman: Value:

45 The g odly w oman: Value Dill Pickle Love fails to recognize the value of others. It is too self-centered & selfish. Therefore; the respect, admiration, and esteem which result from valuing another, are not present.

The godly woman: Looks for good & not for faults:

46 The g odly w oman: Looks for good & not for faults When you look at the Love of Your Life, how do you see him/her? What jumps out at you first? What do you focus on when you think of him/her? Do you focus on the negative or the positive?

The godly woman: Looks for good & not for faults:

47 The g odly w oman: Looks for good & not for faults The Godly woman (Agape Love): Looks for the good in her spouse Does not look for the faults in her spouse Focuses on the positive Encourages Is appreciative and grateful Values and finds joy in the good qualities of others The non-Godly woman: (Dill Pickle Love): Looks for the bad in her spouse Looks for the faults in her spouse Focuses on the negative Complains Is un-appreciative and ungrateful Is jealous or envious in the good qualities of others

The godly woman: Looks for good & not for faults:

48 The g odly w oman: Looks for good & not for faults l ooking for faults, rather than for the good in your mate, will inevitably result in serious damage to the relationship, as it is inherently destructive. f aultfinding is contradictory to Agape Love and is not a trait of the Godly woman. It is, rather, the opposite.

The godly woman: Forgiveness:

49 The g odly w oman: Forgiveness Forgiveness Does not keep score

The godly woman: Forgiveness:

50 The g odly w oman: Forgiveness “Forgiveness”: To grant pardon for an offense To absolve To give up all claim on account of To grant pardon to a person To cease to feel resentment against To pardon the offense and/or an offender

The godly woman: Forgiveness:

51 The g odly w oman: Forgiveness “Pardon”: “A pardon is an act of grace, proceeding from the power entrusted with the execution of the laws, which exempts the individual on whom it is bestowed, from the punishment the law inflicts for a crime he has committed.” Does not imply innocence Acknowledges guilt

The godly woman: Forgiveness:

52 The g odly w oman: Forgiveness William Scott: The “Sleeping Sentinel” Pardoned by President Abraham Lincoln Sept. 8, 1861 Died April 16, 1862 … a hero

The godly woman: Forgiveness:

53 The g odly w oman: Forgiveness A Godly woman is a woman of forgiveness Stems from Agape Love Every man will need forgiveness at some point in the relationship “Innocence is restored via pardon” Punishments and penalties cease Promotes building each other up rather than tearing each other apart In the environment of forgiveness, love flourishes Out of such forgiveness, can emerge a hero

The godly woman: Forgiveness:

54 The g odly w oman: Forgiveness “When you stand praying, forgive those who have wronged you; so that your Father, who is in heaven, may forgive you of your wrongdoings. If you do not forgive, neither will your Father, who is in heaven, forgive you of your wrongdoings.” (Mark 11:25-26)

The godly woman: Patience:

55 The g odly w oman: Patience Without forgiveness, a relationship will perish. Being unwilling or unable to forgive will have a direct negative impact on your relationship with everyone, including God. If you do not have a spirit of forgiveness, you do not have Agape Love. The g odly w oman: Forgiveness

The godly woman: Patience:

56 The g odly w oman: Patience “Patience”: The bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune or pain without complaint, loss of temper, irritation and the like. An ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay. Quiet, steady perseverance. The g odly w oman: Patience

The godly woman: Patience:

57 The g odly w oman: Patience By definition, a patient person is one who is able to react to situations and other people with: “even-tempered care” and “quiet, steady perseverance.” Therefore, patience also fosters, helpfulness kindness reasonableness consideration The g odly w oman: Patience

Slide 58:

58 “ e ncouragement”: To inspire with courage, spirit or confidence. To stimulate by assistance or approval. To promote, advance or foster. The g odly w oman: Encouragement

Slide 59:

59 “ p raise is the greatest encouragement.” The g odly w oman: Encouragement

Slide 60:

60 Romans 15:1-7 Paul’s instructions to the Roman church regarding being supportive of others, is Based in “patience” and “encouragement”. The g odly w oman: Encouragement

Slide 61:

61 Romans 15 (v 1) “…we must not just please ourselves. (v 3) “We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord, for even Christ did not live to please himself…” (v 3) “May God, who gives patience and encouragement help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus.” The g odly w oman: Encouragement

Slide 62:

62 “A word of encouragement during a time of failure is worth more than an hour of praise after a success.” ~ Anonymous The g odly w oman: Encouragement

Slide 63:

63 Fundamental Qualities of the Godly Woman She is passionate and intimate She is trusting She is devoted She is a person of honor She has a sense of value She looks for good, not for faults She is forgiving She is patient She is encouraging The g odly w oman: Summary

Slide 64:

64 She is able to achieve this through the power of Agape love – “the God-like selfless devotion of one person to another,” Which originates from God Himself. The g odly w oman: Summary

Slide 65:

65 “When I look at Cynthia, I see her very clearly as my most Precious Treasure and as God’s finest gift and blessing of my entire life. I cherish her more than anything, for she is the best anything I have ever known. I could lose everything I own tomorrow, and still be the richest I have ever been. Her value far exceeds anything and everything else put together.” “That is only because she is a Godly woman. It is that which makes her priceless.” ~ Paul McCormick ~ The g odly w oman: Conclusion

Slide 66:

66 Chapter 3 t he g odly w oman Review and Discussion The g odly w oman: Discussion

Slide 67:

67 What does this mean? “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man must first seek Him to be able to find her.” What is the difference between being “Christian” and being “Godly?” The g odly w oman: Discussion

Slide 68:

68 Being “Godly” and sexual are contradictory to each other. True or False? False It is possible to be devoted without being committed? True or False? False Honor is a basic component of a successful relationship? True or False? True The g odly w oman: Discussion

Slide 69:

69 Why should a being, or being with a Godly Woman be of prime importance? The Godly woman offers a quality of character, a capacity for love, a purity of heart, a forgiving spirit, and a willingness to give that is not to be found otherwise. The g odly w oman: Discussion

Slide 70:

70 Forgiveness, is a highly desirable trait, but is not an essential component of Agape love. True or False? False. Without a spirit of forgiveness, Agape love does not exist. To “pardon” someone is to imply innocence and to cease to acknowledge guilt. True or False? False By definition, a person who is able to react to situations and other people with “even-tempered care” and “quiet, steady perseverance” is _______________. Patient The g odly w oman: Discussion

Slide 71:

71 _________________ is the greatest encouragement. Praise The Godly woman demonstrates which kind of love towards her spouse? The relationship is rooted in Agape, but ideally, Philos (friendship/family) and Eros (sex) are also an important part of it (but to a much lesser extent). The g odly w oman: Discussion

Dill Pickle Love :

72 Dill Pickle Love What Love Really is … and is not by Paul McCormick with Cynthia Bixler McCormick copyright 2009 – all rights reserved Gad zūke Publishing

Dill Pickle Love: Next Session:

73 Dill Pickle Love: Next Session God’s Greatest Gift to a Woman: The Godly Man