Dill Pickle Love Chapter 2 for Web

Dill Pickle Love::

Dill Pickle Love: Chapter 1: The Semantics of Love Review

Semantics of Love:

Semantics of Love Common Definitions for “Love” “A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.” “A feeling of warm personal attachment of deep affection…” “Sexual passion or desire.”

Semantics of Love:

Semantics of Love Farlex Dictionary Agape - αγαπ é (agapao): The selfless love of one person to another without sexual implication (especially love that is spiritual in nature). Love, as revealed in Jesus, seen as spiritual and selfless and a model for humanity. Love that is spiritual, not sexual, in its nature.

Semantics of Love:

Semantics of Love Our working definition of Agape Love is: WHAT ? The selfless devotion of one person to another.

Contrasts of Love:

Contrasts of Love Philos & Eros Are innate (instinctive) Depend on circumstances Are emotional in nature Are based in feelings Come and go Ultimately fails Agape Is learned Does NOT depend on circumstances Is spiritual in nature Is based in God Is consistent Never fails

Which is Dill Pickle Love?:

Which is Dill Pickle Love? Philos & Eros or Agape?

Dill Pickle Love (Philos & Eros):

Dill Pickle Love ( Philos & Eros ) Is grossly inadequate for a Successful, Fulfilling, & Enduring relationship

Dill Pickle Love :

Dill Pickle Love What Love Really is … and is not by Paul McCormick with Cynthia Bixler McCormick copyright 2009 – all rights reserved Gad zūke Publishing

Dill Pickle Love::

Dill Pickle Love: Chapter 2 Dill Pickle Love Including review

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love Dill Pickle Love is: “The passionate affection of one person for another.” This is the prevalent and accepted definition of the word “love” in the English language today.

Qualities of Dill Pickle Love:

Qualities of Dill Pickle Love It operates in “response to” Is dependent upon conditions and circumstances Is flawed by selfishness Is rooted in emotion Lacks commitment Is impatient Is unkind Is jealous & envious Is easily provoked Is proud & boastful Does not communicate Is NOT sacrificial in nature

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love Ultimately Fails

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love 1. Operates in “response to…” It is, therefore, conditional: It depends on what one does or does not do for the other. Responds favorably to likes. Responds unfavorably to dislikes. Cannot effectively cope with difficulties.

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love 2. Is dependent upon circumstances, situations and conditions Good circumstances = happiness. Troublesome circumstances = unhappiness & discord. Says, “I love you as long as you make me happy.” Moodiness, inconsistency and drama prevail. Crumbles under the pressures & difficulties of life.

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love 3. Is flawed by s elfishness Selfish: “E xclusive regard for one’s own interest or happiness.” Selfishness is the result of self-centeredness and/or self-absorption. Says, “I don’t care about you or your needs and desires” through the actions it precipitates. Has no regard for the “non-negotiables” of their partner.

Dill Pickle Love Manifestations of Selfishness:

Dill Pickle Love Manifestations of Selfishness Anger Greed Intolerance Inability to forgive Abusiveness Verbal Emotional Physical Infidelity Dishonesty Disrespect Inability to value the other partner Inability to communi-cate effectively Impatience

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love Selfishness wreaks havoc on any relationship, as it is at the root of numerous relationship problems. It is a leading cause of relationship break-downs and breakups and is a toxic poison to all relationships.

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love Selfishness… Is a basic and fundamental cause of relationship & marital failure.

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love 4. Is rooted in e motions “Emotion” is defined as: “An affective state of consciousness in which joy, sorrow, fear, hate, or the like, is experienced, as distinguished from cognitive and volitional states of consciousness.” “Any strong agitation of the feelings actuated by experiencing love, hate, fear, etc., and usually accompanied by certain physiological changes, as increased heartbeat or respiration, and often overt manifestation, as crying or shaking.” “Any of the feelings of joy, sorrow, fear, hate, love, etc.”

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love Is rooted in e motions Emotions are very deceiving and can easily result in a defective perception of reality, causing bizarre and unrealistic reactions. Romance is based in emotions and is, therefore, an unreliable gauge of love or the health of the relationship. Emotions result in false perceptions & expectations of reality. Emotional feelings & love ( Dill Pickle Love ) offer a cheap replica of real love (Agape).

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love 5. Lacks c ommitment Commitment: “A pledge given in trust for the purpose of preservation.” Commitment: “ To entrust for safekeeping.”

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love 5. Lacks c ommitment Cannot say, “Till death do us part.” Can only say, “As long as I am happy.” Because it cannot commit, it can never be devoted. ~ Devotion: “ To set apart or dedicate by a solemn or formal act. To consecrate .” Without commitment & devotion, failure is imminent Without commitment & devotion, infidelity is likely. What is missing from romantic love is commitment & devotion.

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love Marriage Myth 3: The keys to long-term marital success are good luck and romantic love. Fact: Rather than luck and love, the most common reasons couples give for their long-term marital success are commitment and companionship. They define their marriage as a creation that has taken hard work, dedication and commitment (to each other and to the institution of marriage). The happiest couples are friends who share lives and are compatible in interests and values. (Copyright 2002 by David Popenoe, the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, New Brunswick, N.J).

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love Creation: “ To cause something to come into being, as something unique which would not naturally evolve or that is not made by ordinary means.” Long Term Marital Success is the Result of: Hard Work, Dedication, Commitment to each other, and Commitment to the institution of marriage itself. The happiest couples are friends who share lives and compatible in interests and values. (Copyright 2002 by David Popenoe, the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, New Brunswick, N.J).

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love 6. Is i mpatient Impatient: “ The inability to bear provocation, annoyance, misfortune, pain ,inconvenience, hardship, pain, delay, etc., with calmness and/or without complaint, anger, or the like.” Impatience results in unwarranted emotional responses and provokes negative reactions in others. A successful and fulfilling relationship is a creation accomplished over time with diligence, commitment, and unwavering devotion. It is not an event which just happens randomly on its own. Therefore, it requires patience. Impatience can manifest itself early in an unfounded rush to get married. (The average length for an engagement is 14-16 months)* *(USA Today, 2003)

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love 7. Is u nkind Unkind: “ Cruel, harsh, unjust, ungrateful, & inconsiderate.” Kind: “To be of a good, benevolent nature or disposition.” Manifests itself in disrespect, unwarranted conflict and turmoil, selfishness, lack of gratitude, absence of helpfulness and inconsideration of others. Shows itself at all levels of the relationship in the daily events of normal life. Takes pleasure in demeaning and degrading others.

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love 8. Is e asily p rovoked “Provoke:” To anger, enrage, exasperate or vex. Such people are easily annoyed and aggravated. Operates in congruence with impatience and unkindness. Manifests itself in “hair-trigger” anger. Unpredictable anger can be slight or severe, including fits of rage. Promotes the emotional need of “getting even.” Characterized by badgering, harsh unwarranted criticism, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse and bizarre outbursts over nothing.

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love Is e asily p rovoked There is never consistent peace in such relationships. Turmoil and chaos are the result. Negatively affects children, often to the point of becoming dysfunctional. Meaningful communication is impossible with such individuals. Withdrawal and isolation will result.

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love 9. Is j ealous & e nvious Feels resentment for the successes of others. Is suspicious by nature. Promotes discontent, and paranoid emotional responses to normal situations. Jealousy and envy are the direct adversaries of trust. Jealousy and envy create distance and separation rather than connection. Are the fruits of selfishness and personal insecurity.

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love j ealousy & e nvy Are based in negativity, immaturity and selfishness and have no redeeming value.

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love j ealousy/ e nvy Leads to the belittlement of others, often over trivial matters in a bizarre attempt to distract attention from the value of another’s accomplishments, or the lack of their own accomplishments. Is the ultimate display of personal insecurity, weakness and selfishness.

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love 10. Is p roud & b oastful Boastfulness: is the outward demonstration of pride , and “pride” is the result of being self-absorbed and having an over-inflated ego. These are traits rooted in selfishness and self-esteem run amuck. When pride gets injured, forgiveness will be noticeably absent. If partners are prideful, conflict resolution will be a contest of getting even. “You hurt me, now I am going to hurt you.” Pride fosters conflict, which someone has to “win.” Does not recognize the qualities or accomplishments of others. Pride prevents one from valuing another. The prideful person values only himself as he is too self-absorbed to do otherwise.

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love 11. Does Not c ommunicate Does not really care what another person has to say because it is too selfish. The defective characteristics of Dill Pickle Love prevent effective communication: (emotional, impatient, unkind, jealous, envious, proud, boastful, easily provoked, etc.). Without communication, a relationship is pre-destined to fail.

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love Does Not c ommunicate Marriage surveys consistently rank communication, or lack thereof, as one of the major problems in marriages. Effective communication requires listening to the other. “Two monologues do not make a dialogue.” ~ Jeff Daly Telepathy, mind reading, and assumption are not valid forms of communication.

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love 12. Is NOT s acrificial in nature Sacrifice: “The surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim.” Asks, “ What’s in it for me?” not “ What can I do for you?” Sacrifice requires selflessness, and cannot be present is the midst of selfishness.

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love 13. ultimately f ails It is fundamentally flawed & inherently defective. It will not endure. It does not offer fulfillment. It cannot satisfy the needs of the heart.

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love Whatever happened to the good times? They seem so long ago. Was it another life with another wife? I don’t know. Whatever happened to the passion? That burned within your eyes. Now it seems like, just a dream, That died. “Whatever Happened” Music & Lyrics by Paul McCormick Guitars & Lead Vocals: Paul McCormick Vocals: Crista Carnes ©2010 by Gadzuke Publishing

Dill Pickle Love ultimately fails:

Dill Pickle Love ultimately fails

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love Albert Einstein defined “insanity” as: “Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.” But yet people will try over & over to build a relationship using the same faulty components and techniques as before, and then be surprised when the relationship fails.

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love Getting different results requires: A different approach A different foundation Different components Different techniques An entirely different system

Slide 41:

Otherwise, the result will once again be a relationship of Dill Pickle Love “Passionate affection” instead of “Selfless devotion”

Which is Which?:

Which is Which? 1 . 2. 3. Innate (instinctive) Innate (instinctive) Learned Intellectual in nature Emotional in nature Spiritual in nature Discriminatory Discriminatory Non-discriminatory Conditional Conditional Unconditional Based in pleasure Based in pleasure Based in Preciousness Focuses on Delight Focuses on Self- gratification Focuses on Esteem for the other Liking Lusting Prizing “Because of…” “Because of…” “In spite of…” Fails Fails Never fails Keeps “score” Keeps “score” Does not keep “Score” Non-sacrificial Selfish Sacrificial Envious Jealous Trusting

Which is Which?:

Which is Which? Philos 2. Eros 3. Agape Innate Innate Learned Intellectual in nature Emotional in nature Spiritual in nature Discriminatory Discriminatory Non-discriminatory Conditional Conditional Unconditional Based in pleasure Based in pleasure Based in Preciousness Focuses on Delight Focuses on Self-gratification Focuses on Esteem for the other Liking Lusting Prizing “Because of…” “Because of…” “In spite of…” Fails Fails Never fails Keeps “score” Keeps “score” Does not keep “Score” Non-sacrificial Selfish Sacrificial Envious Jealous Trusting

Which best describes your previous relationship(s) or marriage?:

Which best describes your previous relationship(s) or marriage? Philos 2. Eros 3. Agape Innate Innate Learned Intellectual in nature Emotional in nature Spiritual in nature Discriminatory Discriminatory Non-discriminatory Conditional Conditional Unconditional Based in pleasure Based in pleasure Based in Preciousness Focuses on Delight Focuses on Self-gratification Focuses on Esteem for the other Liking Lusting Prizing “Because of…” “Because of…” “In spite of…” Fails Fails Never fails Keeps “score” Keeps “score” Does not keep “Score” Non-sacrificial Selfish Sacrificial Envious Jealous Trusting

Usually, most relationships are a combination of Philos and Eros, with few, if any, qualities of Agape Love.:

Usually, most relationships are a combination of Philos and Eros, with few, if any, qualities of Agape Love. Without Agape, the result is dill pickle love

The opposite of Dill Pickle Love:

The opposite of Dill Pickle Love Is Agape Love What? “The selfless devotion of one person to another.”

Dill Pickle Love::

Dill Pickle Love: Chapter 2: Dill Pickle Love Study Guide and Discussion Questions

Dill Pickle Love: Chapter 2:

Dill Pickle Love: Chapter 2 What are the thirteen characteristics of Dill Pickle Love ? It operates in “response to” Is dependent upon conditions and circumstances Is flawed by selfishness Is rooted in emotion Lacks commitment Is impatient Is unkind Is jealous & envious Is easily provoked Is proud & boastful Does not communicate Is NOT sacrificial in nature, & what?

Dill Pickle Love:

Dill Pickle Love Ultimately Fails

Dill Pickle Love: Chapter 2:

Dill Pickle Love: Chapter 2 Dill Pickle Love has the ability to adapt successfully to changes in situations and circumstances. True or False? False “ Romantic love ” is one of the keys to a successful, long-term relationship. True or False? False What are the two things missing from “ romantic love?” Devotion and Commitment

Dill Pickle Love: Chapter 2:

Dill Pickle Love: Chapter 2 What are the manifestations of selfishness? Anger – Greed – Intolerance - Inability to forgive – Abusiveness (verbal, emotional and physical) – Infidelity – Dishonesty – Disrespect - Inability to value the other partner - Inability to communicate effectively - Impatience Impatience, jealousy, envy and kindness are all part of Dill Pickle Love. True or False? False How did Albert Einstein define “insanity?” “ Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.”

Dill Pickle Love: Chapter 2:

Dill Pickle Love: Chapter 2 Look at these characteristics of Dill Pickle Love . List three of these you dislike the most, and three you are the most guilty of. How has that affected your relationships? It operates in “response to” Is dependent upon conditions and circumstances Is flawed by selfishness Is rooted in emotion Does not communicate Lacks commitment Is impatient Is unkind Is jealous & envious Is easily provoked Is proud & boastful Is NOT sacrificial in nature Ultimately fails

Dill Pickle Love: Chapter 2:

Dill Pickle Love: Chapter 2 Dill Pickle Love is rooted in emotion. What are the implications of living within an emotional relationship? … in a selfish relationship? Look closely at the qualities of Agape Love. Is this the way you want to be loved? Why? Is this the way you are willing to love another? How?

Dill Pickle Love: Chapter 2:

Dill Pickle Love: Chapter 2 Lack of communication is a major contributor to difficulty in marriages? True or false? True Making the statement, “You should have known”, or, “I thought you knew that”, are perfectly acceptable and reasonable expectations and are indicative of effective communication. True or false? False “Two monologues do not make a ____________.” Dialogue

Dill Pickle Love :

Dill Pickle Love What Love Really is … and is not by Paul McCormick with Cynthia Bixler McCormick copyright 2009 – all rights reserved Gad zūke Publishing

Dill Pickle Love: Next Session:

Dill Pickle Love: Next Session God’s Greatest Gift to a Man: The Godly Woman