logging in or signing up Communication Assertiveness chitx2000 Download Post to : URL : Related Presentations : Share Add to Flag Embed Email Send to Blogs and Networks Add to Channel Uploaded from authorPOINT lite Insert YouTube videos in PowerPont slides with aS Desktop Copy embed code: (To copy code, click on the text box) Embed: URL: Thumbnail: WordPress Embed Customize Embed The presentation is successfully added In Your Favorites. Views: 5689 Category: Education License: All Rights Reserved Like it (12) Dislike it (0) Added: August 13, 2007 This Presentation is Public Favorites: 15 Presentation Description No description available Comments Posting comment... By: Durair (12 month(s) ago) It was a nice & awesome presentation. It is helpful to me. Saving..... Post Reply Close Saving..... Edit Comment Close By: alex.2050 (15 month(s) ago) Its too good , Please allow me to download your excellent presentation or else please send it to my mail alex.2050@rediffmail.com Saving..... Post Reply Close Saving..... Edit Comment Close By: dealwisac (16 month(s) ago) I want to download this Saving..... Post Reply Close Saving..... Edit Comment Close By: almatq (16 month(s) ago) plz allow me to download it Saving..... Post Reply Close Saving..... Edit Comment Close By: sonci (16 month(s) ago) Very nice and funny! Thank U for sharing it! Please allow me to download You presentation.. Thank You Saving..... Post Reply Close Saving..... Edit Comment Close loading.... See all Premium member Presentation Transcript Slide 1: COMMUNICATION ASSERTIVENESS Slide 2: COMMUNICATION ASSERTIVENESS WHAT IS ASSERTIVENESS? HOW DO YOU BEGIN? WHAT IS IT NOT? HOW ASSERTIVE ARE YOU? WHY? HOW DO YOU DEVELOP ASSERTIVENESS? ASSERTIVENESS : ASSERTIVENESS Collection of behaviors Stem from a belief Your needs and wants Important as other people’s BEHAVIOR RAINBOW : BEHAVIOR RAINBOW FIGHT (Aggressive) ASSERTIVE FLIGHT (Submissive) Slide 5: ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR I stand up for my own rights, but I don’t violate your rights. Slide 6: SUBMISSIVE BEHAVIOR Failure to stand up for your rights Failure to express your thoughts, feelings and beliefs Slide 7: AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR I stand up for my rights. I don’t care about yours. My rights are more important than yours. Slide 8: PRINCIPLES OF ASSERTIVENESS ASSERTIVE I count. You count. AGGRESSIVE I count. You don’t count. SUBMISSIVE - AGGRESSIVE I count. You don’t count, but I’m not going to tell you that. SUBMISSIVE I don’t count. You count. Slide 9: WHAT ASSERTIVENESS IS AND IS NOT Slide 10: PHASES IN LEARNING ASSERTIVE BEHAVIORS Project Analyze Look Speak up Slide 11: PROJECT PHASES IN LEARNING ASSERTIVE BEHAVIORS Project yourself into past conflict situations See the common features Slide 12: PHASES IN LEARNING ASSERTIVE BEHAVIORS ANALYZE Degree of threat you felt Select a scene to improve on Slide 13: LOOK PHASES IN LEARNING ASSERTIVE BEHAVIORS See the emotions, language, and self- image How do you change them? Slide 14: SPEAK UP PHASES IN LEARNING ASSERTIVE BEHAVIORS Plan a negotiating script or message Express in an affirmative manner Slide 15: Negative image Fear of conflict Lack of communication proficiency Culture BARRIERS TO ASSERTIVENESS Slide 16: F E A R F E A R Slide 17: SHARED INFORMATION = SHARED CULTURES No behavior or value is universal. Be flexible to accept differences. Be sensitive to verbal nuances and non-verbal cues. Know practices of other cultures. Slide 18: SELF-ESTEEM Slide 19: BELIEFS We hold them to be true. They affect our overt behavior. Conclusions we have reached from experience. Slide 20: SELF-ESTEEM How do you see yourself? How do you label yourself? Both a CAUSE and an EFFECT of assertiveness shy Bad with numbers ordinary WHAT DETERMINES BEHAVIOR : WHAT DETERMINES BEHAVIOR Behavior Slide 22: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt Slide 23: AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIORS Excessive use of “I” statements Stating opinions as facts Putting others down Frequent use of ought and should Blaming others Showing contempt and being hostile Slide 24: AGGRESSIVE EXPRESSIONS That approach won’t work. You’d better do it. That’s only your opinion. You ought/should/must. It was your fault. Well, I blame you. Slide 25: SUBMISSIVE BEHAVIORS Ingratiating attempts to accommodate the needs of other people Long rambling statements to justify the self Qualifying phrases “Filler” words Phrases that elicit others to ignore them Slide 26: It’s only my opinion. Maybe… I wonder if… Just… Sorry to bother you, but… Would you mind very much… I seem to be hopeless at this. It’s not important really. It doesn’t matter. SUBMISSIVE EXPRESSIONS Slide 27: ASSERTIVE BEHAVIORS Brief and to the point statements “I” statements Clear distinction between fact and opinion Open-ended questions to elicit thoughts, needs and opinions of others Resolution of problems Slide 28: I believe… I’d like… I want/need… In my experience… My opinion is… As I see it… ASSERTIVE EXPRESSIONS Slide 29: TOOLS IN COMMUNICATION Body Language 55% Words 7% Voice How You Say It 38% Slide 30: TOOLS IN COMMUNICATION Body Language-55% Slide 31: NON-VERBAL CUES Slide 32: NON-VERBAL CUES Slide 33: TOOLS IN COMMUNICATION Voice-38% Slide 34: TOOLS IN COMMUNICATION 7 % Slide 35: ASSERTIVE REPLIES In what ways do you think I’m too shy? You’re entitled to your opinion…but I know I can do it. You’re too shy. I don’t think you can do it. I believe it is. Are you sure this is relevant? What do you have in mind? Are you busy on Saturday? How can we be more cooperative? We should be more cooperative to avoid conflict. No. When do you want it? Haven’t you started that letter yet? Suggested Assertive Reply Put-down Sentence Slide 36: ASSERTIVE REPLIES I’m sorry but Carol is not in her workstation right now. This is Dennis. How may I help you instead? He’s just in the washroom. Why don’t you try calling later? We’ll be able to get the power schedule from Meralco by tomorrow. We won’t be able to send it get confirmation from Meralco about the power schedule until tomorrow. I don’t have that information with me just yet. I don’t know. Assertive Non-Assertive Slide 37: ASSERTIVE REPLIES I’m sorry but Carol is not in her workstation right now. This is Dennis. How may I help you instead? He’s just in the washroom. Why don’t you try calling later? We’ll be able to get the power schedule from Meralco by tomorrow. We won’t be able to send it get confirmation from Meralco about the power schedule until tomorrow. I don’t have that information with me just yet. I don’t know. Assertive Non-Assertive Slide 38: First concrete step Confidence Choice of right words Basis of rehearsal WRITING SCRIPTS Slide 39: DESCRIBE What unwanted behavior has my Downer been displaying? EXPRESS How can I tell my Downer the way I feel about this behavior? SPECIFY What behavioral changes might I contract for? CONSEQUENCES What rewarding consequences can I provide to my Downer for sticking to the contract? DESC Slide 40: Requesting Participation I’ll work more optimistically if I feel everyone has a chance to contribute ideas. I’d like to have the floor to make my suggestion now. Is that possible? I’d like to make a suggestion. I’ve heard your suggestions for our proposal. DESC SCRIPT Slide 43: COMMON NON-LISTENING BEHAVIORS Disguised Listening Distracted Listening Defensive Listening Distorted Listening Slide 44: Criticizing the speaker and the delivery Listening only for facts and not feelings Not taking notes or trying to write down everything Faking attention Tolerating or creating distractions BAD LISTENING HABITS Slide 45: Tuning out difficult or confusing information Letting emotional words block the message Interrupting or finishing the other person’s sentence Biases and prejudices Not checking that you’ve understood BAD LISTENING HABITS Slide 46: Prepare physically and psychologically. Fight off distractions. Listen for speaker’s main ideas. Be sensitive to your emotional triggers. Listen to speaker’s side first. TWO EARS, ONE MOUTH Slide 47: Reflect on differences of language. Do not trust to memory certain data that may be important. Listen actively. Repeat and clarify all key facts. Use positive body language to show that you are listening. TWO EARS, ONE MOUTH Slide 48: UNDERSTANDING A FOREIGN ACCENT Don’t pretend to understand Don’t rush. Don’t shout. Don’t be rude. Don’t use slang. Slide 49: Clarifying Question Example: “Is the process clear?” Probing Question Example: “Can you give me a specific example of an application of this?” TYPES OF QUESTIONS Slide 50: If I understand you correctly… Is that you what meant? I heard you say _____________, did I understand you correctly? Your view is ________________, is that right? CLARIFYING QUESTIONS Slide 51: I’d like to hear your views/thoughts on… I’d like to understand your views on… Could you tell me about them? Would you tell me more about how you see the situation? I think we are approaching these from different perspectives. What does the situation look like from your perspective? PROBING QUESTIONS EXAMPLES OF VERIFICATION STATEMENTS : EXAMPLES OF VERIFICATION STATEMENTS “I want to make sure that I gave you complete instructions. Please recap what I have just said.” “I hope I’ve been clear so far. Perhaps you could repeat to me what you’ve understood. It will save us problems later.” Slide 54: Use clear, direct requests or directives. Avoid hinting, being indirect, or presuming. SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN Slide 55: ASSERTIVE REQUESTS Assertive Directive Please take this to John. Assertive Request Will you please take this to John? Indirect, only inquires about willingness Would you mind taking this to John? Slide 57: BE DIRECT Please email HEAD OFFICE about this issue. I need you to email HEAD OFFICE about this issue. Will you check this info with Sales? Why don’t you check this info with Sales? I believe this data is necessary. Don’t you think this data is necessary? Assertive Non-Assertive Slide 59: USE FACTS, NOT JUDGMENTS If you continue to arrive after 8:30 am, I will be required to suspend you. If you don’t change your attitude, you’re going to be in real trouble. The grammar in this report needs work. This is sloppy work. Assertive Non-Assertive Slide 61: TAKE RESPONSIBILITY I believe that parking this question now would allow us time to gather more data. Don’t you think we should park this for now? Assertive Non-Assertive You embarrassed me in front of all those people. I felt embarrassed when you said that in front of all those people. The only sensible thing to do is to turn this issue over to Development. I believe turning this issue over to Development would be our best course of action. Slide 63: CONVERSATIONAL DO’S Learn six magic questions. Speak with your ears. Be yourself. Talk in the other person’s backyard. Show interest in others. Address everyone in the group. Know how to make a shy person feel part of the group. Slide 64: Be alert. Be courteous. Be well-informed. CONVERSATIONAL DO’S Adjust to the other person. Step in to fill an embarrassing void. Slide 65: Off-color and discriminating jokes Personal relationships Cost of anything personal and income Controversial topics CONVERSATIONAL TABOOS Slide 66: Personal misfortune Demeaning terms Abrasive words or phrases Embarrassing questions Correcting another’s grammar or pronunciation in public CONVERSATIONAL TABOOS Slide 69: Learn your lines. Speak with more power and expression. Speak clearly. Use body language that says YES or NO. LOOK AND SOUND THE PART SAYING NO : SAYING NO “I open my mouth saying NO and it comes out as NO PROBLEM.” Don’t feel guilty. Start with simple situations. Be firm but polite. Give a reason, not an excuse. SAYING NO : Buy some thinking time. Ask for more information. Use appropriate body language and voice. Think it through. Set boundaries. SAYING NO DEAL ASSERTIVELY WITH CONFLICT : DEAL ASSERTIVELY WITH CONFLICT Slide 74: Focus on the content, not the behavior of the other person. DEAL ASSERTIVELY WITH CONFLICT : DEAL ASSERTIVELY WITH CONFLICT “Well, that ideas has its merits, but I don’t think that it’s likely to achieve the outcome we’re looking for.” “That’s a stupid idea. Where did that come from?” Slide 76: These are defensive maneuvers caused by reacting to what is said. These can get off a person from his assertive track. DETOURS Slide 77: Persist. Repeat your main point. “That may be. But I really find the volume too loud.” Disagree. Make a direct statement. “I don’t agree.” HOW TO HANDLE DETOURS Slide 78: Emphasize the importance. “This is important to me.” Agree with the other person’s right to have certain feelings, but disagree with the idea that you must have the same feelings. HOW TO HANDLE DETOURS Slide 79: HOW TO HANDLE DETOURS Redefine Don’t accept someone’s negative label for your behavior. Redefine in positive terms. “I’m not being nosy. I’m just naturally curious.” Ask a question Clarify. “In what ways do you think I’m acting childishly?” LOOK AND FEEL ASSERTIVE : LOOK AND FEEL ASSERTIVE Prepare to practice. Highlight your script. Learn your lines. Develop assertive body language. LOOK AND FEEL ASSERTIVE : LOOK AND FEEL ASSERTIVE Speak with more power. Speak with more clarity. Speak with more expression. Set the stage. Look the part. Slide 82: “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” William James You do not have the permission to view this presentation. In order to view it, please contact the author of the presentation.
Communication Assertiveness chitx2000 Download Post to : URL : Related Presentations : Share Add to Flag Embed Email Send to Blogs and Networks Add to Channel Uploaded from authorPOINT lite Insert YouTube videos in PowerPont slides with aS Desktop Copy embed code: (To copy code, click on the text box) Embed: URL: Thumbnail: WordPress Embed Customize Embed The presentation is successfully added In Your Favorites. Views: 5689 Category: Education License: All Rights Reserved Like it (12) Dislike it (0) Added: August 13, 2007 This Presentation is Public Favorites: 15 Presentation Description No description available Comments Posting comment... By: Durair (12 month(s) ago) It was a nice & awesome presentation. It is helpful to me. Saving..... Post Reply Close Saving..... Edit Comment Close By: alex.2050 (15 month(s) ago) Its too good , Please allow me to download your excellent presentation or else please send it to my mail alex.2050@rediffmail.com Saving..... Post Reply Close Saving..... Edit Comment Close By: dealwisac (16 month(s) ago) I want to download this Saving..... Post Reply Close Saving..... Edit Comment Close By: almatq (16 month(s) ago) plz allow me to download it Saving..... Post Reply Close Saving..... Edit Comment Close By: sonci (16 month(s) ago) Very nice and funny! Thank U for sharing it! Please allow me to download You presentation.. Thank You Saving..... Post Reply Close Saving..... Edit Comment Close loading.... See all Premium member Presentation Transcript Slide 1: COMMUNICATION ASSERTIVENESS Slide 2: COMMUNICATION ASSERTIVENESS WHAT IS ASSERTIVENESS? HOW DO YOU BEGIN? WHAT IS IT NOT? HOW ASSERTIVE ARE YOU? WHY? HOW DO YOU DEVELOP ASSERTIVENESS? ASSERTIVENESS : ASSERTIVENESS Collection of behaviors Stem from a belief Your needs and wants Important as other people’s BEHAVIOR RAINBOW : BEHAVIOR RAINBOW FIGHT (Aggressive) ASSERTIVE FLIGHT (Submissive) Slide 5: ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR I stand up for my own rights, but I don’t violate your rights. Slide 6: SUBMISSIVE BEHAVIOR Failure to stand up for your rights Failure to express your thoughts, feelings and beliefs Slide 7: AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR I stand up for my rights. I don’t care about yours. My rights are more important than yours. Slide 8: PRINCIPLES OF ASSERTIVENESS ASSERTIVE I count. You count. AGGRESSIVE I count. You don’t count. SUBMISSIVE - AGGRESSIVE I count. You don’t count, but I’m not going to tell you that. SUBMISSIVE I don’t count. You count. Slide 9: WHAT ASSERTIVENESS IS AND IS NOT Slide 10: PHASES IN LEARNING ASSERTIVE BEHAVIORS Project Analyze Look Speak up Slide 11: PROJECT PHASES IN LEARNING ASSERTIVE BEHAVIORS Project yourself into past conflict situations See the common features Slide 12: PHASES IN LEARNING ASSERTIVE BEHAVIORS ANALYZE Degree of threat you felt Select a scene to improve on Slide 13: LOOK PHASES IN LEARNING ASSERTIVE BEHAVIORS See the emotions, language, and self- image How do you change them? Slide 14: SPEAK UP PHASES IN LEARNING ASSERTIVE BEHAVIORS Plan a negotiating script or message Express in an affirmative manner Slide 15: Negative image Fear of conflict Lack of communication proficiency Culture BARRIERS TO ASSERTIVENESS Slide 16: F E A R F E A R Slide 17: SHARED INFORMATION = SHARED CULTURES No behavior or value is universal. Be flexible to accept differences. Be sensitive to verbal nuances and non-verbal cues. Know practices of other cultures. Slide 18: SELF-ESTEEM Slide 19: BELIEFS We hold them to be true. They affect our overt behavior. Conclusions we have reached from experience. Slide 20: SELF-ESTEEM How do you see yourself? How do you label yourself? Both a CAUSE and an EFFECT of assertiveness shy Bad with numbers ordinary WHAT DETERMINES BEHAVIOR : WHAT DETERMINES BEHAVIOR Behavior Slide 22: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt Slide 23: AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIORS Excessive use of “I” statements Stating opinions as facts Putting others down Frequent use of ought and should Blaming others Showing contempt and being hostile Slide 24: AGGRESSIVE EXPRESSIONS That approach won’t work. You’d better do it. That’s only your opinion. You ought/should/must. It was your fault. Well, I blame you. Slide 25: SUBMISSIVE BEHAVIORS Ingratiating attempts to accommodate the needs of other people Long rambling statements to justify the self Qualifying phrases “Filler” words Phrases that elicit others to ignore them Slide 26: It’s only my opinion. Maybe… I wonder if… Just… Sorry to bother you, but… Would you mind very much… I seem to be hopeless at this. It’s not important really. It doesn’t matter. SUBMISSIVE EXPRESSIONS Slide 27: ASSERTIVE BEHAVIORS Brief and to the point statements “I” statements Clear distinction between fact and opinion Open-ended questions to elicit thoughts, needs and opinions of others Resolution of problems Slide 28: I believe… I’d like… I want/need… In my experience… My opinion is… As I see it… ASSERTIVE EXPRESSIONS Slide 29: TOOLS IN COMMUNICATION Body Language 55% Words 7% Voice How You Say It 38% Slide 30: TOOLS IN COMMUNICATION Body Language-55% Slide 31: NON-VERBAL CUES Slide 32: NON-VERBAL CUES Slide 33: TOOLS IN COMMUNICATION Voice-38% Slide 34: TOOLS IN COMMUNICATION 7 % Slide 35: ASSERTIVE REPLIES In what ways do you think I’m too shy? You’re entitled to your opinion…but I know I can do it. You’re too shy. I don’t think you can do it. I believe it is. Are you sure this is relevant? What do you have in mind? Are you busy on Saturday? How can we be more cooperative? We should be more cooperative to avoid conflict. No. When do you want it? Haven’t you started that letter yet? Suggested Assertive Reply Put-down Sentence Slide 36: ASSERTIVE REPLIES I’m sorry but Carol is not in her workstation right now. This is Dennis. How may I help you instead? He’s just in the washroom. Why don’t you try calling later? We’ll be able to get the power schedule from Meralco by tomorrow. We won’t be able to send it get confirmation from Meralco about the power schedule until tomorrow. I don’t have that information with me just yet. I don’t know. Assertive Non-Assertive Slide 37: ASSERTIVE REPLIES I’m sorry but Carol is not in her workstation right now. This is Dennis. How may I help you instead? He’s just in the washroom. Why don’t you try calling later? We’ll be able to get the power schedule from Meralco by tomorrow. We won’t be able to send it get confirmation from Meralco about the power schedule until tomorrow. I don’t have that information with me just yet. I don’t know. Assertive Non-Assertive Slide 38: First concrete step Confidence Choice of right words Basis of rehearsal WRITING SCRIPTS Slide 39: DESCRIBE What unwanted behavior has my Downer been displaying? EXPRESS How can I tell my Downer the way I feel about this behavior? SPECIFY What behavioral changes might I contract for? CONSEQUENCES What rewarding consequences can I provide to my Downer for sticking to the contract? DESC Slide 40: Requesting Participation I’ll work more optimistically if I feel everyone has a chance to contribute ideas. I’d like to have the floor to make my suggestion now. Is that possible? I’d like to make a suggestion. I’ve heard your suggestions for our proposal. DESC SCRIPT Slide 43: COMMON NON-LISTENING BEHAVIORS Disguised Listening Distracted Listening Defensive Listening Distorted Listening Slide 44: Criticizing the speaker and the delivery Listening only for facts and not feelings Not taking notes or trying to write down everything Faking attention Tolerating or creating distractions BAD LISTENING HABITS Slide 45: Tuning out difficult or confusing information Letting emotional words block the message Interrupting or finishing the other person’s sentence Biases and prejudices Not checking that you’ve understood BAD LISTENING HABITS Slide 46: Prepare physically and psychologically. Fight off distractions. Listen for speaker’s main ideas. Be sensitive to your emotional triggers. Listen to speaker’s side first. TWO EARS, ONE MOUTH Slide 47: Reflect on differences of language. Do not trust to memory certain data that may be important. Listen actively. Repeat and clarify all key facts. Use positive body language to show that you are listening. TWO EARS, ONE MOUTH Slide 48: UNDERSTANDING A FOREIGN ACCENT Don’t pretend to understand Don’t rush. Don’t shout. Don’t be rude. Don’t use slang. Slide 49: Clarifying Question Example: “Is the process clear?” Probing Question Example: “Can you give me a specific example of an application of this?” TYPES OF QUESTIONS Slide 50: If I understand you correctly… Is that you what meant? I heard you say _____________, did I understand you correctly? Your view is ________________, is that right? CLARIFYING QUESTIONS Slide 51: I’d like to hear your views/thoughts on… I’d like to understand your views on… Could you tell me about them? Would you tell me more about how you see the situation? I think we are approaching these from different perspectives. What does the situation look like from your perspective? PROBING QUESTIONS EXAMPLES OF VERIFICATION STATEMENTS : EXAMPLES OF VERIFICATION STATEMENTS “I want to make sure that I gave you complete instructions. Please recap what I have just said.” “I hope I’ve been clear so far. Perhaps you could repeat to me what you’ve understood. It will save us problems later.” Slide 54: Use clear, direct requests or directives. Avoid hinting, being indirect, or presuming. SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN Slide 55: ASSERTIVE REQUESTS Assertive Directive Please take this to John. Assertive Request Will you please take this to John? Indirect, only inquires about willingness Would you mind taking this to John? Slide 57: BE DIRECT Please email HEAD OFFICE about this issue. I need you to email HEAD OFFICE about this issue. Will you check this info with Sales? Why don’t you check this info with Sales? I believe this data is necessary. Don’t you think this data is necessary? Assertive Non-Assertive Slide 59: USE FACTS, NOT JUDGMENTS If you continue to arrive after 8:30 am, I will be required to suspend you. If you don’t change your attitude, you’re going to be in real trouble. The grammar in this report needs work. This is sloppy work. Assertive Non-Assertive Slide 61: TAKE RESPONSIBILITY I believe that parking this question now would allow us time to gather more data. Don’t you think we should park this for now? Assertive Non-Assertive You embarrassed me in front of all those people. I felt embarrassed when you said that in front of all those people. The only sensible thing to do is to turn this issue over to Development. I believe turning this issue over to Development would be our best course of action. Slide 63: CONVERSATIONAL DO’S Learn six magic questions. Speak with your ears. Be yourself. Talk in the other person’s backyard. Show interest in others. Address everyone in the group. Know how to make a shy person feel part of the group. Slide 64: Be alert. Be courteous. Be well-informed. CONVERSATIONAL DO’S Adjust to the other person. Step in to fill an embarrassing void. Slide 65: Off-color and discriminating jokes Personal relationships Cost of anything personal and income Controversial topics CONVERSATIONAL TABOOS Slide 66: Personal misfortune Demeaning terms Abrasive words or phrases Embarrassing questions Correcting another’s grammar or pronunciation in public CONVERSATIONAL TABOOS Slide 69: Learn your lines. Speak with more power and expression. Speak clearly. Use body language that says YES or NO. LOOK AND SOUND THE PART SAYING NO : SAYING NO “I open my mouth saying NO and it comes out as NO PROBLEM.” Don’t feel guilty. Start with simple situations. Be firm but polite. Give a reason, not an excuse. SAYING NO : Buy some thinking time. Ask for more information. Use appropriate body language and voice. Think it through. Set boundaries. SAYING NO DEAL ASSERTIVELY WITH CONFLICT : DEAL ASSERTIVELY WITH CONFLICT Slide 74: Focus on the content, not the behavior of the other person. DEAL ASSERTIVELY WITH CONFLICT : DEAL ASSERTIVELY WITH CONFLICT “Well, that ideas has its merits, but I don’t think that it’s likely to achieve the outcome we’re looking for.” “That’s a stupid idea. Where did that come from?” Slide 76: These are defensive maneuvers caused by reacting to what is said. These can get off a person from his assertive track. DETOURS Slide 77: Persist. Repeat your main point. “That may be. But I really find the volume too loud.” Disagree. Make a direct statement. “I don’t agree.” HOW TO HANDLE DETOURS Slide 78: Emphasize the importance. “This is important to me.” Agree with the other person’s right to have certain feelings, but disagree with the idea that you must have the same feelings. HOW TO HANDLE DETOURS Slide 79: HOW TO HANDLE DETOURS Redefine Don’t accept someone’s negative label for your behavior. Redefine in positive terms. “I’m not being nosy. I’m just naturally curious.” Ask a question Clarify. “In what ways do you think I’m acting childishly?” LOOK AND FEEL ASSERTIVE : LOOK AND FEEL ASSERTIVE Prepare to practice. Highlight your script. Learn your lines. Develop assertive body language. LOOK AND FEEL ASSERTIVE : LOOK AND FEEL ASSERTIVE Speak with more power. Speak with more clarity. Speak with more expression. Set the stage. Look the part. Slide 82: “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” William James