LETTING GO 06

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The Art of Letting Go evolution

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God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace. Taking as He did, this sinful world as it is, Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen.

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LETTING GO WHAT IS: inner action that releases the fear and upsets caused by fighting and resisting what happened opposite of love: fear and upset being upset depends on how you relate to your circumstances (B. Ferguson) WHEN: when life happens every moment is a letting-go moment; from conception to death “healing, growing, and learning never stop. Not as long as you are breathing” (I.Vanzant)

What for?: 

What for? Have you ever climbed a mountain? Do you happen to know life?

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What are you letting go of this moment? Stuck emotions? Grief? Lie? Habits? Vicious cycle Have you felt like in a rut, lately? Then you badly need to sever the cycle Expectations? Good health?

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What goes with it? Cognition Behavior Affect/ Emotion Components of attitude

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Focus on your area of control Social/ Interaction Attitude Environment/Physical

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includes everything that you’re concerned about: your boyfriend’s smoking, your “terror-ist” teacher, whether your bones will hold your body when you dance “Roger!”, the unstable political scenario, the sinking economy... Influence “Area of Control” “Area of Concern” YOU You can control your attitude. You can control your thoughts. You can control your responses. You can control your actions. Your mission in life is not to change the world. Your mission is to change yourself. (a.matthews)

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Letting go can be a state of mind; ERGO, you have the power to CHOOSE IT If letting go involves ATTITUDE, then NOT A DEFENSE MECHANISM R E S P O N S E NOT A REACTION

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Let me remind me: Even when emotion has the stronger influence in my attitude and that I cannot choose how I feel, But I can always choose what I do about it.

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Letting go A venue for ME to show my RESPONSE ABILITY Remember that letting go is a state of mind It is the process that removes the fear and the upset so I can see what action I need to take. Myself To the other/s I am the keeper of my well being

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Responsibility accountability willingness to risk, to be hurt letting go of fear element of hope pananampalaTAYA My control? Whose control? Man’s sanity hangs on a thin thread….

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Now that I know what I know, what can I do? (“What to do when you don’t know what to do” H. Cloud & J. Townsend, 2003)

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Leave your baggage behind Many times, our hurts do not get resolved as they should, thus we carry with us from the past burdensome fears and feelings that won’t go away until it is dealt with. When I plan to get even with someone, I am only letting that person continue to hurt me. Agree that you have a painful past - acknowledge that painful things have happened to you Include others In your healing & grieving - begin by opening up your feelings to someone you can trust about what happened in the past Finishing the past:

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Forgive Forgiveness is accepting the fact that the past can never be different remember: the pain of the past is no longer today’s reality whom? - freeing YOURSELF of guilt and shame - the source of hurt (human or circumstance) > not deny them of the hurt they caused your, nor that you need to trust them again > resolving the past by releasing them from all your grudges 4. Seeing yourself through new eyes first, take a close look at how you live Behavior patterns (how you deal with people and circumstances) you have learned from your past may be ruining your present life consciously decide to stop it then, if you are going to move forward, you must begin to see yourself realistically through the eyes of those who really love you

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Own Your Faults & Weaknesses Take responsibility for your life, own up to your faults, and accept blame where it is justified - whatever you need in life, whatever you desire to happen, or whatever problem you try to solve, you are responsible for it - it’s your job to call on God to make a way where you need a way How about when it’s not your fault? - sometimes we have to take responsibility for situations that are not our fault, - determining who’s at fault isn’t nearly as important as determining who will do something about it

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Take Charge When we take ownership for what happens in our lives, we are empowered to make changes allowing us to do something, make plans, tackle hurtful situations, and right wrongs ownership provides freedom: you are no longer slave to the past, to false hopes, to wishing someone else would change, or to discouragement and passivity Some areas in your life you can begin to take charge in: your own happiness, it’s a decision needed resources weaknesses and obstacles one day at a time

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And in doing these, what should I keep in mind? (“The Four Agreements” M. Ruiz, 1997)

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Be impeccable with your word The word is a force, and you manifest your intent through your words. It can motivate or break a human spirit Depending on how it is used, your words can set you free or it can enslave you even more than you know into your baggage. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. Don’t take anything personally Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream taking things personally makes you eat up others’ emotional garbage, opening up your own wounds

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Don’t make assumptions We make assumptions about what others are doing and thinking –taking it personally – then reacting by sending emotional poison with our word, creating a whole big drama for nothing. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstanding, sadness, and drama. Always do your best Your best is going to change from moment to moment; under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret Regardless of the quality, keep doing your best. If you try too hard to do more than your best, you deplete your body and go against yourself.

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Elements of Moving On ATTITUDE state of mind don’t fall into analysis-paralysis you have the power to choose You get motivated by doing things, not thinking about them. Next time you are upset, remember it’s not so much people who make you angry, as your thoughts about them. Whatever thoughts are causing you pain, they are only thoughts. You can change a thought. a. matthews

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As we Move On For the rest of my life there are two days that will never again trouble me. The first day is yesterday with all its blunders and tears, its follies and defeats. Yesterday has passed away, beyond my control forever. The other day is tomorrow with its pitfalls and threats, its dangers and mystery. Until the sun rises again, I have no stake in tomorrow, for it is still unborn. Og Mandino, The Return of the Ragpicker