Crystal Clear-- Quotes

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9/2008 - Original Ppt

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Crystal clear

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Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself ~~'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' -- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)  

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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.' -- Eleanor Roosevelt

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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement . -- Mark Twain

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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. Victor Borge

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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. -- George Burns

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Don't worry about avoiding temptation as you grow older, it will avoid you -- Winston Churchill

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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. -- Mark Twain

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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates

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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -- Groucho Marx

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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. Alex Levine

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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty, but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. -- Phyllis Diller

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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. -- Bob Hope

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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. -- W.C. Fields

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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. -- Billy Crystal

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