powers in effective communication

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Slide 1:

Holding Your Own: Coping with Differences in Power

Power:

Power the ability to make others think, behave, and feel the way you want

Differences in power is a problem if we have an uneven relationship- you are in a subordinate position and need to speak up for yourself more :

Differences in power is a problem if we have an uneven relationship- you are in a subordinate position and need to speak up for yourself more When someone cross your comfort zone knowingly or unintentionally , it violates personal b oundar ies . Boundary violations occur frequently. Examples, When they put your ideas down When they make you humiliated

Subordinate position or one-down position :

Subordinate position or one-down position Someone has a power over you because of his/her title or position KIDS Because of age, they have one-down position. Parents, teachers, doctors ADULTS Social status Bosses, superior officers, partners Submissive personality A critical parent, a threatening mate, very overbearing boss.

Five Forms of Power (French& Raven):

Five Forms of Power (French& Raven) R eward power (+) The reason of one-down position is that you expect someone to give you or to let you such a reward To note down what the teacher says to get a high mark. To be quiet to get a piece of chocolate. To work hard to get an extra salary. B. C oercive power (-) Someone forces you to do something against your will. It may include physical harm. The power of dictators, bullies The fear of being fired unless you work overtime. Tradition man power

Slide 6:

C. Legitimate power Sort of power which is caused by a social status, age Policemen, managers, kings, doctors 'I'm your mother, I have a right to know. D. Referent power If a person likes or admir es you and want s to be like you in some respect. You have referent power over him . Stars, celebrities, heros E. Expert power Having special knowledge or expertise which the other person needs A close friend who knows everything about computers, Chinese kitchen etc.

To achieve this:

To achieve this S peak up for yourself T rain others to treat you the way you want to be treated. If you don’t You let yourself grow negative feelings You give a way a piece of yourself You begin to lose your self-respect*

Angie’s case: Allowing other people to make decisions about her life. :

Angie’s case: Allowing other people to make decisions about her life. Bad sides : Her intellectual and emotional boundaries are violated. She probably feels too dependent Gradually, she begins to give a piece of herself After speaking up for yourself She feels independent She begins to acquire skills for making decisions Her self- confidence increases.

How could she do this?:

How could she do this? First she appreciates others’ attidute But then she comes to the facts. This attidute makes her too dependent. She sees herself growing up, learning to take care of herself. Until she achieve this, she wants to limit her relationship with only proffessional topics.

Case: Inappropriate sexual advances at work, preventing sexual harassment at work :

Case: Inappropriate sexual advances at work, preventing sexual harassment at work Bad Sides: When she faces with such an attidute, she feels degraded. She is always on guard since she doesn’t know what happens next and when. She starts questioning herself ( something wrong with me?) She is distracted her work. After speaking up Gains self-respect Peace of mind Normal work relationship Increase consantration on work.

How to cope with it?:

How to cope with it? She gets informed about this case (what to do, how to react etc.) She tells him she is aware of his behaviour and adds she is really offended. She tells him to stop, otherwise reports him to their boss.

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