LISTENING

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EFFECTIVE LISTENING

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DR. Angelo Smith M.D WHPL                           EFFECTIVE LISTENING

What is Listening? :

What is Listening? listening (ILA, 1996): the process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages; to hear something with thoughtful attention Effective communication is 2-way depends on speaking and listening

Listening vs. Hearing:

Listening vs. Hearing Hearing - physical process; natural; passive Listening - physical & mental process; active; learned process; a skill Listening is hard! You must choose to participate in the process of listening.

Fast Facts:

Fast Facts We listen at 125-250 wpm, think at 1000-3000 wpm 75% of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful 20% of the time, we remember what we hear More than 35% of businesses think listening is a top skill for success Less than 2% of people have had formal education with listening

Percentage of Communication:

Percentage of Communication Mode of Communication Formal Years of Training Percentage of Time Used Writing 12 years 9% Reading 6-8 years 16 % Speaking 1-2 years 30% Listening 0-few hours 45%

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Indicators of Poor Listening in an employee Receiving an above normal amount of written communication. Feeling left out of important projects. Missing Important meetings. Reacting to problems rather than preventing problems. Being perceived as slow or inept. Being manipulated easily by others.

Why Be A Good Listener?:

Why Be A Good Listener? Needs of the Customer… To be recognized and remembered To feel valued To feel appreciated To feel respected To feel understood To feel comfortable about a want or need To be involved in the decision making process. To develop a Positive attitude towards the product / service To feel is a part of

As an employee ?:

most significant for entry-level positions most important for promotion to upper management most observed in successful CEOs and upper managers most critical in distinguishing effective from ineffective subordinates most critical for managerial competency most needed for improvement in communication most important for career competence most important for organizational success As an employee ?

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Listening is the most powerful form of acknowledgment …a way of saying, “You are important.”

Listening builds stronger relationships …creates a desire to cooperate among people because they feel accepted and acknowledged.:

Listening builds stronger relationships …creates a desire to cooperate among people because they feel accepted and acknowledged.

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Listening promotes being heard …”Seek first to understand, then be understood.” - Stephen Covey

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Listening creates acceptance and openness …conveys the message that “I am not judging you.”

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Listening leads to learning …openness encourages personal growth and learning

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Listening reduces stress and tension …minimizes confusion and misunderstanding, eliminating related stress and tension

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Listening is CRITICAL in conflict resolution …much conflict comes from the need to be heard. Successful resolution depends on being a non-anxious presence .

Barriers to Listening:

Barriers to Listening Equate With Hearing Uninteresting Topics Speaker’s Delivery External Distractions Mentally Preparing Response Listening for Facts Personal Concerns Personal Bias Language/Culture Differences Faking Attention

Bad Listening Habits:

Bad Listening Habits Criticizing the subject or the speaker Getting over-stimulated Listening only for facts Not taking notes OR outlining everything Tolerating or creating distraction Letting emotional words block message Wasting time difference between speed of speech and speed of thought

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Expectation Relationship Personal Situation Emotional Mindset

Mental Distractions:

Mental Distractions Fear Worry Being Unprepared Daydreaming Boredom Poor Self-Esteem Anger

Nonverbal Communication:

Module 3 3–18 Nonverbal Communication 10% = 55% = 35% = 10% is Content; 90% is Intent WORDS Body Language Tone of Voice

Active Listening:

Active Listening … Allows you to make sure you hear the words and understand the meaning behind the words Goal: go beyond listening to understanding

Step 1: Listen:

Step 1: Listen To Feelings As Well As Words Words – Emotions -- Implications Focus on Speaker Don’t plan, speak, or get distracted What Is Speaker Talking About? Topic? Speaker? Listener? Others? Look At Speaker Use Verbal & Non-Verbal Encouragers

Step 2: Question:

Step 2: Question 3 Purposes Demonstrates you are listening Gather information Clarification Open-ended Tell me more? How did you feel? Then what happened?

Step 3: Reflect-Paraphrase:

Step 3: Reflect-Paraphrase Reflect What Is Said (In your words) Reflect Feelings Reframe Capture the essence of the communication Remove negative framing Move toward problem solving

Step 4: Agree:

Step 4: Agree Get Speaker’s Consent to Your Reframing Speaker Has Been Heard and Knows It! Solution Is Near!

7 Ways to Improve Your Listening:

7 Ways to Improve Your Listening Here are 7 strategies and suggestions to help you improve your listening skills. 1.) Increase your listening span : Try to resist the temptation to interrupt. Make sure the speaker has had a complete chance to make his or her point before you speak. If you don't get the whole message, ask the speaker to repeat what they said.

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2.) Take time to listen : Don't put obvious limitations on your listening time - the speaker will feel rushed. 3.) Listen between the lines : Don't just listen to what is being said. Try to understand the attitudes, needs and motives behind the words.

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4.) Give your full attention : Nodding or interjecting occasionally to clarify a point lets the speaker know you are interested. If the speaker pauses briefly, don't rush to fill the silence. Use open-ended questions to encourage elaboration.

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5.) Restate the message : When you are sure that the speaker has finished, restate the main points. This is a good organizing strategy for you. It also gives the speaker assurance that the message has been received.

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6.) Listen for ideas as well as facts : A good listener makes an effort to understand what the facts add up to. 7.) Don't monopolize : Resist the urge to dominate a situation or to feel that you know everything about a situation. Be open to new ideas and allow the speaker to have his or her say.

Listening Vocabulary:

Listening Vocabulary Read the vocabulary list. Look them up on the internet. Read the following definitions , and place the letter of the correct word on the line in front of the definition. A hearing F evaluating B listening G eye contact C hearing impairment H body language D passive listening I pitch E active listening J monotone 1. _____ A physical condition that limits a person’s ability to hear sounds. 2. _____ Listening in which the listener responds by concentrating on the speaker’s words. The listener may ask questions of the speaker. 3. _____ Movements and actions such as hand gestures and body posture. 4. _____ An unchanging voice, expressing no emotion or interest. 5. _____ The physical ability to perceive sound. 6. _____ The process of interpreting and judging the speaker’s message in order to decide how to respond. 7. _____ Listening with little or no response to the speaker. 8. _____ How high or low the speaker’s voice is. 9. _____ Looking directly at the speaker while he is talking. 10._____ The process of hearing a speaker’s words and understanding the speaker’s message.

Listening Vocabulary - KEY:

Listening Vocabulary - KEY 1. __ C ___ A physical condition that limits a person’s ability to hear sounds. 2. __ E ___ Listening in which the listener responds by concentrating on the speaker’s words. The listener may ask questions of the speaker. 3. __ H ___ Movements and actions such as hand gestures and body posture. 4. __ J ___ An unchanging voice, expressing no emotion or interest. 5. __ A ___ The physical ability to perceive sound. 6. __ F ___ The process of interpreting and judging the speaker’s message in order to decide how to respond. 7. __ D ___ Listening with little or no response to the speaker. 8. __ I ___ How high or low the speaker’s voice is. 9. __ G ___ Looking directly at the speaker while he is talking. 10.__ B ___ The process of hearing a speaker’s words and understanding the speaker’s message .

Gender Barriers:

Gender Barriers How accurate are you in determining gender differences?  Directions: For each question, write “M” if you think the answer is men; write “W” if you think it is women; write “S” if you think it is the same for both men and women. ___ 1. In office discussions, who usually talks more often? ___2. Who is better at interpreting nonverbal cues while listening? ___3. When speaking to others, who tends to attach more tag questions (such as “Don’t you agree?” and “Right?”) to statements? ___4. Who is more likely to view a conversation in a competitive rather than cooperative manner? ___5. In office discussions, who usually works harder to keep the conversation going? ___6. During a conversation, who tends to interrupt more often? ___7. While listening, who is less likely to ask questions, especially if asking will reveal a lack of knowledge? ___8. Whom do colleagues consider the better listener? Copyright Cengage © 2011 45

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