The 3 Cheers for Conflict - How to Resolve Conflict Effectively

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A presentation describing the ineffective ways of responding to conflict that are common but never resolve it, and the means through which we can treat conflict as an opportunity - the way in which we always resolve conflict. The presentation describes the features that exist within any resolved conflict - the '3-Cheers' for conflict - Learning, Connection and Insight.

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Principles and Practises to support Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution Insights derived from the practise of Mediation and Conflict Coaching 1. The 3 Cheers for Conflict Webinar - July 2012 Alan Sharland - Director CAOS Conflict Management:

Principles and Practises to support Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution Insights derived from the practise of Mediation and Conflict Coaching 1. The 3 Cheers for Conflict Webinar - July 2012 Alan Sharland - Director CAOS Conflict Management CAOS Conflict Management © Alan Sharland 2012 WWW.CAOS-CONFLICT-MANAGEMENT.CO.UK Tel. 0(+44)20 3371 7507

What is Conflict? How do we respond to it? :

What is Conflict? How do we respond to it? © Alan Sharland 2012 WWW.CAOS-CONFLICT-MANAGEMENT.CO.UK Tel. 0(+44)20 3371 7507 Mediation sees conflict as an inevitable part of life arising from difference and as such is neither good nor bad. But conflict can be responded to constructively or destructively. We often respond to conflict constructively without even realising it but when conflict has been responded to destructively or ineffectively such that the conflict remains unresolved, mediation and conflict coaching seek to support those involved in creating more constructive, effective responses to their conflict.

What is Conflict? Responding Ineffectively to Conflict:

What is Conflict? Responding Ineffectively to Conflict © Alan Sharland 2012 WWW.CAOS-CONFLICT-MANAGEMENT.CO.UK Tel. 0(+44)20 3371 7507 When a conflict is responded to ineffectively, such that it cannot be resolved, it is because it is being treated as either or both: A Competition that must be 'won' - I'm right you are wrong, I'm good, you are bad A Problem that has to be avoided - the person or situation that we find difficult is avoided

What is Conflict? The 3 Cheers for Conflict:

What is Conflict? The 3 Cheers for Conflict © Alan Sharland 2012 WWW.CAOS-CONFLICT-MANAGEMENT.CO.UK Tel. 0(+44)20 3371 7507 A conflict becomes resolvable when we approach it as an opportunity for: Learning Connection Insight The '3 Cheers for Conflict'

What is Conflict? The 3 Cheers for Conflict ...Learning:

What is Conflict? The 3 Cheers for Conflict ...Learning © Alan Sharland 2012 WWW.CAOS-CONFLICT-MANAGEMENT.CO.UK Tel. 0(+44)20 3371 7507 Learning - we respond differently to the situation . For example we may do something in a different way, at a different time, in a different place, develop a new procedure or policy, that improves the experience and may, in itself, resolve the conflict.

What is Conflict? The 3 Cheers for Conflict ...Connection:

What is Conflict? The 3 Cheers for Conflict ...Connection © Alan Sharland 2012 WWW.CAOS-CONFLICT-MANAGEMENT.CO.UK Tel. 0(+44)20 3371 7507 Connection - we come to understand the other's perspective - without having to agree with it. When this happens we can accommodate their views and actions rather than devote our energy to opposing them and obstructing them. (And as a result they may do the same for us ) .

What is Conflict? The 3 Cheers for Conflict ...Insight:

What is Conflict? The 3 Cheers for Conflict ...Insight © Alan Sharland 2012 WWW.CAOS-CONFLICT-MANAGEMENT.CO.UK Tel. 0(+44)20 3371 7507 Insight - we gain some understanding about ourselves . We may realise how we feel as a result of the conflict or how we responded in ways that were not self-supporting. From gaining a connection we may come to feel less threatened or intimidated. In unresolved conflict the focus is so often on the other or the external circumstances we can 'lose ourselves’ .

9 Principles of Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution:

9 Principles of Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution © Alan Sharland 2012 WWW.CAOS-CONFLICT-MANAGEMENT.CO.UK Tel. 0(+44)20 3371 7507 Principles of Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution That we: Treat each other with respect Don't interrupt one another Have the right to pass Don't volunteer others Speak only for ourselves and speak in the 'I' using 'I-statements' Speak but not too often or for too long Challenge the behaviour not the person Respect Confidentiality Acknowledge that it's ok to make mistakes as they are opportunities for learning The Principles are for applying to ourselves and are not 'rules' that we expect others to follow. Contact: alan@caos-conflict-management.co.uk

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