DM840 Presentation

The Leader’s Journey: 

The Leader’s Journey Accepting the Call to Personal and Congregational Transformation

Beyond the Problem Focus: 

Beyond the Problem Focus Observing self more Thinking through our own principles Attending to our needs and interests Attending to our own adult relationships Seeing the part played by nuclear and extended family systems Seeing the part we play in the problem in the organization Maintaining positive emotional contact with others Working with others around the problem based on facts and thoughtfulness

About Theory: 

About Theory

How Successful Leaders Think:Organizations are Living Systems: 

How Successful Leaders Think: Organizations are Living Systems Concept 1: Triangles Concept 2: Scale of Differentiation of Self Concept 3: Nuclear Family Emotional System Concept 4: Multigenerational Emotional System Concept 5: Family Projection Process Concept 6: Sibling Position Concept 7: Cutoff Concept 8: Societal Emotional Process Concept 9: The Spiritual Journey

Slide13: 

When one person make some basic changes, the whole system does.

Murray Bowen:: 

Murray Bowen: “When any key member of an emotional system can control his own emotional reactiveness and accurately observe the functioning of the system and his part in it, and he can avoid counter-attacking when he is provoked, and when he can maintain an active relationship with the other key members without withdrawing or becoming silent, (then) the entire system will change in a series of predictable steps.”

Slide15: 

A B C = D Linear Thinking

Slide16: 

A B C D Multiple Causation

Slide17: 

A B C D Systems Thinking

Two Variables At Work: 

Two Variables At Work Level of Emotional Maturity Level of Anxiety and Tension

Emotional Reactivity: 

Emotional Reactivity The capacity to react without thinking

Slide20: 

The Triune Brain

Anxiety: 

Anxiety Reaction to threat or perceived threat

Acute Anxiety: 

Acute Anxiety Reaction to threat that is REAL and TIME-LIMITED

Chronic Anxiety: 

Chronic Anxiety Reaction to threat that is IMAGINED or EXAGGERATED and NOT TIME-LIMITED

Chronic Anxiety: 

Chronic Anxiety Imagined or Exaggerated Not time-limited Ambient level in a family’s life May begin with an acute crisis Develops a life of its own Requires two poles to function Additive Contagious (actually, everything is contagious)

Characteristics of an Anxious System: 

Characteristics of an Anxious System

Characteristics of an Anxious System: 

Characteristics of an Anxious System Heightened Reactivity Automatic Instinctive Interruptions Thinking for each other Finishing sentences Take things personally Make things personal Organizes around the least mature member

Characteristics of an Anxious System: 

Characteristics of an Anxious System Herding Instinct Pressure to conformity Discouraging dissent Peace over progress B&W, all-or-nothing thinking

Characteristics of an Anxious System: 

Characteristics of an Anxious System Blame Displacement Looking outward for explanations rather than inward Victim attitude Diagnosing, focusing on others Failure to take responsibility

Slide29: 

Genesis 3 The Blame Game

Characteristics of an Anxious System: 

Characteristics of an Anxious System Quick Fix Expect others to solve our problems And to do it now And painlessly Symptom focused Recycles anxiety elsewhere

Characteristics of an Anxious System: 

Characteristics of an Anxious System Poor Leadership No clear vision No well-thought- out principles The chronically anxious system is ultimately leaderless

Slide32: 

Concept One: Triangles

Slide33: 

A B C Triangles

Slide34: 

A B C Triangles

Slide35: 

Concept Two: Scale of Differentiation of Self 0 100 Intellectual Emotional

Slide36: 

Concept Two: Scale of Differentiation of Self

Slide37: 

100 Equal Separate Open

Slide38: 

0 Completely Fused

Slide39: 

50

Slide40: 

25

Slide41: 

Concept Three: Nuclear Family Emotional System The Four Human Strategies for Dealing with Anxiety

Slide42: 

Concept Three: Nuclear Family Emotional System Conflict

Slide43: 

Concept Three: Nuclear Family Emotional System Distance

Slide44: 

Concept Three: Nuclear Family Emotional System Overfuntioning/ Underfunctioning

Slide45: 

Concept Three: Nuclear Family Emotional System Triangling

Slide46: 

Concept Four: Multigenerational Emotional System

The Multigenerational Emotional System: 

The Multigenerational Emotional System Each nuclear family is the product of 62 nuclear families in the five generations that precede it, and of over 1000 nuclear families in the nine generations that precede it.

Understanding the Generations of our Families: 

Understanding the Generations of our Families Will require action on our part Will help us see we are part of a long process Will require us to take up the role of researcher Will help to minimize cutoff as a pattern

Slide49: 

35 35 Concept Five: Family Projection Process

Slide50: 

35 35 Concept Five: Family Projection Process

Slide51: 

35 35 Concept Five: Family Projection Process

Slide52: 

35 30 Concept Five: Family Projection Process

Slide53: 

35 35 40 30 Concept Five: Family Projection Process

Why Children in the Same Family Turn Out So Differently: 

Why Children in the Same Family Turn Out So Differently Families deal with different amounts of anxiety at different times Families focus on children differently

How do Children come to be the focus of family anxiety?: 

How do Children come to be the focus of family anxiety? What was taking place at the time of birth or pregnancy Same position as another in the family who did not do well Sibling position Birth defect or problem birth Anything that makes a child different

Sometimes families are totally unaware of how they are “doing in” some of their family members or how they might be able to handle anxiety differently had they a different way of thinking about relationships and anxiety.: 

Sometimes families are totally unaware of how they are “doing in” some of their family members or how they might be able to handle anxiety differently had they a different way of thinking about relationships and anxiety.

And sometimes we even grow anxious over that!: 

And sometimes we even grow anxious over that!

Parents working from family systems principles do not try to treat each child the same.: 

Parents working from family systems principles do not try to treat each child the same.

They will, however, know that an anxious focus on children is detrimental to their development and life course.: 

They will, however, know that an anxious focus on children is detrimental to their development and life course.

They try to contain their own anxiety, processing it within the self, with each other, and the extended family system, rather than developing anxious, focused relationships with the children.: 

They try to contain their own anxiety, processing it within the self, with each other, and the extended family system, rather than developing anxious, focused relationships with the children.

Slide61: 

B. 1978 x x D. 1985 …………………………………………………………………………..

Slide62: 

B. 1978 x x D. 1985 ………………………………………………………………………….. 1994 Difficulties at work 1995 Clinical Depression D. 1994 D. 1996 1994 Expelled for Drug Use 1988 Stroke moved in with family

Slide63: 

B. 1978 x x D. 1985 ………………………………………………………………………….. B. 1992 1994 Difficulties at work 1995 Clinical Depression D. 1994 D. 1996 1994 Expelled for Drug Use 1998 Trouble with law 1996-97 Continued Drug Use D. 1998 1988 Stroke moved in with family

Slide64: 

Concept Six: Sibling Position

Slide65: 

Sibling Position Oldest Brother of Brothers

Slide66: 

Sibling Position Youngest Brother of Brothers

Slide67: 

Sibling Position Oldest Brother of Sisters

Slide68: 

Sibling Position Youngest Brother of Sisters

Slide69: 

Sibling Position Male Only Child

Slide70: 

Sibling Position Oldest Sister of Sisters

Slide71: 

Sibling Position Youngest Sister of Sisters

Slide72: 

Sibling Position Youngest Sister of Brothers

Slide73: 

Sibling Position Female Only Child

Slide74: 

Special Sibling Positions The Middle Child

Slide75: 

Special Sibling Positions Twins

Slide76: 

Resulting Relationships Positions Without Rank or Sex Conflict Oldest Brother of Sisters and Youngest Sister of Brothers Youngest Brother of Sisters and Oldest Sister of Brothers

Slide77: 

Resulting Relationships Partial Sex Conflict Oldest Brother of Sisters and Youngest Sister of Sisters Youngest Brother of Sisters and Oldest Sister of Sisters Oldest Brother of Brothers and Youngest Sister of Brothers Youngest Brother of Brothers and Oldest Sister of Brothers

Slide78: 

Resulting Relationships Rank or Sex Conflict Relationships Oldest Brother of Sisters and Oldest Sister of Brothers Youngest Brother of Sisters and Youngest Sister of Brothers Oldest Brother of Brothers and Youngest Sister of Sisters Youngest Brother of Brothers and Oldest Sister of Sisters

Slide79: 

Resulting Relationships Rank and Partial Sex Conflict Relationships Oldest Brother of Sisters and Oldest Sister of Sisters Youngest Brother of Sisters and Youngest Sister of Sisters Oldest Brother of Brothers and Oldest Sister of Brothers Youngest Brother of Brothers and Youngest Sister of Brothers

Slide80: 

Resulting Relationships Rank and Sex Conflict Relationships Oldest Brother of Brothers and Oldest Sister of Sisters Youngest Brother of Brothers and Youngest Sister of Sisters Only Children

Slide81: 

Concept Seven: Cutoff Extreme form of distancing

Creech Family Diagram: 

Creech Family Diagram Rosser Martin Scott Cryer Creech Cocke Culpepper Culpepper

Slide83: 

Concept Eight: Societal Emotional Process

Slide84: 

Concept Nine: Spiritual Journey

Slide85: 

Personal Obedience A Community of Grace and Truth Reflective Living The Threefold Process of Personal Transformation Fig. 1.1

Slide86: 

Engaging New Behaviors Consciously Competent

For this PowerPoint file or an Adobe PDF version, go to : 

For this PowerPoint file or an Adobe PDF version, go to and click on the HGST icon at the bottom of the page www.leadersjourney.org

Slide88: 

The Triune Brain