Interpersonal Communication

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Interpersonal Communication : 

Interpersonal Communication Ways to really listen and speak with one another

Agenda : 

Agenda Definition Listening Skills Speaking Skills Improving Communication Strategies

Definition : 

Definition “Interpersonal communication is the process of sending and receiving information or communication with another person. This process happens in an environment using different kinds of communication media. This communication could be verbal or nonverbal.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interpersonal_communication

Listening and Speaking : 

Listening and Speaking The text refers to listening and speaking as receiving and sending When we listen, we are in receiving mode When we speak, we are in sending mode We are also in sending mode when we communicate nonverbally Body language Tone of voice Things that are left unstated

We Get Into Difficulty When… : 

We Get Into Difficulty When… We try to listen and speak at the same time Our verbal and non-verbal communication is inconsistent The message we send is not the same one that is received

Examples : 

Examples Ex 1: I don’t want to go out tonight Ex 2: I didn’t say she stole the money This statement will have different meanings depending on which words we emphasize or accentuate

Solution… : 

Solution… Clarify the speaker’s intent Ask specific questions without emotional content ABC theory of behavior change

Listening Skills : 

Listening Skills How do we listen when we really want to hear what someone is saying? Non-verbal listening techniques include… Begin quiet Maintaining eye contact Display of openness Listen without response Sending non-verbal acknowledgements that emphasize your attention

Listening Skills : 

Listening Skills Verbal Techniques Include… Providing feedback Paraphrasing what was said Stating what you heard in your own words Allow the speaker to clarify and correct misunderstandings and continue to paraphrase until you get it right.

Listening Skills : 

Listening Skills Verbal Techniques Include… Listening beyond the words Non-verbal messages and behaviors Feelings that might accompany words Verify perceptions Take care of yourself If you don’t have the energy or time to truly listen, let the other person know Schedule another time to talk Listen for requests and intentions Complaints can be turned into intentions Transform complaints into solutions

Speaking Skills : 

Speaking Skills When speaking, it is important to … Recognize how you are feeling Refrain from making emotionally charged statements about others When we accuse someone (make “you” statements)… potential responses are… Guilt or shame Closing off to our words Resolution is not shared

SPEAKING SKILLS : 

SPEAKING SKILLS It is important to avoid generalizations Ex: “You always…” or “You never…” Focus on… specific events Specific occurrences Specific behaviors (verbal and/or non-verbal)

Speaking Skills : 

Speaking Skills Good communication requires that we Acknowledge our emotions Keep our emotions in check Speak to others about our position

Improving Communication Strategies : 

Improving Communication Strategies Speak in “I” statements rather than “You” statements You statements can be very blaming, shaming, or judgmental When we speak in “I” statements, we focus on our perceptions of ourselves without blaming someone else. Internal locus of control vs. external locus of control.

Improving Communication Strategies : 

Improving Communication Strategies Avoid leading questions Statements that are stated in the form of a question and whose purpose is to get the other person to agree with us. Ex: “Don’t you want to be a good student?” vs. “What are your goals for college?” Leading questions reflect the values of the questioner much more than the values of the listener Typically used to control another’s behavior

Improving Communication Strategies : 

Improving Communication Strategies Avoid conflicting non-verbal messages Tone of voice, gestures, etc. which can support or contradict what we say Oftentimes, these nonverbal messages are unconscious. Receiving feedback is important in overcoming this practice Ex: heightening of voice

Improving Communication Strategies : 

Improving Communication Strategies Identify your own communication barriers that get in the way of saying what you really want to say Fear of others’ reactions Low self-confidence Avoidance of failure Notice your barriers and evaluate whether or not you can benefit from overcoming them

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