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Fozard May 16, 2010 Liberty University Introduction : Introduction Interpersonal Communication is “the type or kind of communication that happens when the people involved talk and listen in ways that maximize the presence of the personal.” (Stewart, 2009, p. 33) Interpersonal Communication : Interpersonal Communication Familiar with the foundations of interpersonal communication Willing and able to accurately perceive/listen to themselves/others Recognize how basic communication works in various relationships Have some resources to deal with communication difficulties. (Stewart, 2009) Enlarging My Conversation : Enlarging My Conversation “there’s a direct link between the quality of your communication and the quality of your life.” (Stewart, 2009, pg. 6) Enlarging my conversation involves: Identifying my communication needs Finding resources to improve those needs. My Overarching Goal : My Overarching Goal Developing the skill of empathetic listening An increased willingness to be open to and with others The Makings of Me : The Makings of Me My Discovery Health Assessment results: 70 out of 100 Communication skills are effective Communication is clear and concise Listen to others with understanding Improvement necessary to reach full potential as an effective communicator (Discovery Health, 2010) The Makings of Me (cont.) : The Makings of Me (cont.) My Behavioral Blend Graph 1 – D: “This is expected of Me” Masked and guarded behavior Graph 2 – D/I/C: “This is Me” Casual and open behavior (Uniquely You Profile, 2010) Everyone thinks, feels, and acts differently according to these two influences. Understanding personality patterns is one of the keys to improving your relationships. (Carbonell, 2008) The Makings of Me (cont.) : The Makings of Me (cont.) Graph 1 – D: “This is expected of Me” Positive Dominant, direct, demanding, determined Take charge and accomplish tasks Never quit or back down Prove things can be done Negative Win at all costs Insensitive to other’s feelings (Uniquely You Profile, 2010) The Makings of Me (cont.) : The Makings of Me (cont.) Graph 2 – D/I/C: “This is Me” Positive Dominant, inspiring, cautious Communicate well in public Inspire people to help me Negative Increase sensitivity and softness (Uniquely You Profile, 2010) The Makings of Me (cont.) : The Makings of Me (cont.) Socialization Process People tend to duplicate, throughout their lives, the relationship patterns they experienced in their early years. (Burley-Allen, 1995) Barriers : Barriers A listening barrier exists when someone hears what they want to hear, not what is really communicated. (Burley-Allen, 1995) Filter Biased Listening (past experience, negative experiences, “Red flag” or “buzz” words) (Burley-Allen, 1995) Barriers (cont.) : Barriers (cont.) Flat-Brain Syndrome Emotions overload Ability to be open to/with others is inhibited Thinking becomes distorted React negatively (Petersen, 2007) Flat-Brain Tango Engaging in defensive/attacking behavior with others (Petersen, 2007) Barriers (cont.) : Barriers (cont.) Defensive Barriers to communication – interpersonal relations: , “in response to defensiveness, "attack or avoidance" replaces "fight or flight," in a self-perpetuating cycle of events, leading to more threats and accusations, and more defensive behaviors and counterattacks.” (Richardson, 1990) Internal Noise : Internal Noise Internal Distractions include: Filters Emotions Styles of Listening Physical (Burley-Allen, 1995) External Noise : External Noise External distractions include: The way the talker speaks/looks/behaves Loud Noises Room temperature Visual environment Interruptions (Burley-Allen, 1995) Level 1 Listening : Level 1 Listening Level 1 or empathetic listening will help eliminate internal and external distractions. Level 1 Listening includes: Aware and present in the moment Acknowledging and responding Not allowing yourself to be distracted Paying attention to the speakers total communication (including body language) (Burley-Allen, 1995) Level 1 Listening (cont.) : Level 1 Listening (cont.) Level 1 Listening includes (cont.): Being empathetic to the speaker’s feelings and thoughts Suspending your own thoughts and feelings to give attention solely to listening (Burley-Allen, 1995) Active Listening : Active Listening Listening and feedback: two essentials for interpersonal communication Active listening: Provides important feedback for the speaker Indicates the accuracy of the listener’s understanding Encourages the speaker to provide more information (Richardson, 1991) Plan of Action : Plan of Action My plan of action for improving my interpersonal communication includes: Understanding that the quality of my communication depends on my willingness and ability to be open to and with others Understanding how my beliefs, values, and attitudes affect my behavior and communication Plan of Action (cont.) : Plan of Action (cont.) Understanding that although communication is complex, continuous, and collaborative, how I respond next can help determine the outcome of a communication event and improve the relationship Understanding that effective interpersonal communication can only be achieved by opening myself to others and listening with empathy. References : References Stewart, J. (2009). Bridges not walls: A book about interpersonal communication. Boston: McGraw Hill Carbonell, M. (2008). How to solve the people puzzle: Understanding personality patterns. Blue Ridge, GA: Uniquely You Resources Burley-Allen, M. (1995). Listening: the forgotten skill: A self-teaching guide. New York: John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Petersen, J. C. (2007). Why don’t we listen better? Communicating and connecting in relationships. Tigard, OR: Petersen Publications References : References Richardson, J.M. (1990, September-October). Defensive Barriers to communication – interpersonal relations. Physician Executive Richardson, J.M. (1991, March-April). Listening and feedback: two essentials for interpersonal communication. Physician Executive. You do not have the permission to view this presentation. In order to view it, please contact the author of the presentation.