DOES YOUR LIFE SUCK

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DOES YOUR LIFE SUCK?! : 

DOES YOUR LIFE SUCK?!

Slide 2: 

WOULD YOU LIKE TO CHANGE THAT?!

Slide 3: 

Research suggests that sex can help ease joint and muscle pain, combat depression, promote heart health and lengthen life span

Based on this information π% of all reasearchers, doctors, firemen, barbers, kodiak bears, and grave diggers agree that SEX= CURLY FRIES : 

Based on this information π% of all reasearchers, doctors, firemen, barbers, kodiak bears, and grave diggers agree that SEX= CURLY FRIES

Now that you know this…WOULD YOU LIKE TO INCREASE THE QUALITY OF YOUR SEX LIFE? : 

Now that you know this…WOULD YOU LIKE TO INCREASE THE QUALITY OF YOUR SEX LIFE?

Slide 6: 

NOW YOU CAN… …CAN …Can …can… *boom*

THAT’S RIGHT!! : 

THAT’S RIGHT!! Jason Ridley is offering to increase the quality of your sex life by 20%! THAT’S ALMOST 100% BETTER!!* *NOTE: 20% ≠ 100%

YOUR SEX LIFE COULD IMPROVE BY THIS MUCH!! : 

YOUR SEX LIFE COULD IMPROVE BY THIS MUCH!! after before

OR THIS MUCH!!! : 

OR THIS MUCH!!! YOUR LIFE SEX YOUR SEXY LIFE BEFORE AFTER!! OTHER

FOR ONLY $20 EXTRA A THROWand $50 A NIGHT YOU CAN CONQUER EVERYTHING BAD THAT YOU EVER WANTED TO CONQUER AND SOME STUFF YOU DIDN’T REALLY CARE ABOUT CONQUERING BUT ITS COOL THAT YOU DID!!!! : 

FOR ONLY $20 EXTRA A THROWand $50 A NIGHT YOU CAN CONQUER EVERYTHING BAD THAT YOU EVER WANTED TO CONQUER AND SOME STUFF YOU DIDN’T REALLY CARE ABOUT CONQUERING BUT ITS COOL THAT YOU DID!!!!

NO ONE ELSE CAN OFFER YOU A DEAL THIS GOOD! : 

NO ONE ELSE CAN OFFER YOU A DEAL THIS GOOD!

Slide 12: 

Our researches have discovered that only sex with Jason Patrick Ridley, native of Tehachapi (Land of Four Seasons) and curly-fry-wielding chupacabra wrangler, has been proven to significantly improve the quality of anyone’s life. EVER.

THINK ABOUT IT. : 

THINK ABOUT IT. *I AM JASON PATRICK RIDLEY AND I APPROVE OF THIS MESSAGE*