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Romantic Love : 

Romantic Love Psy 125: Interpersonal Relationships

Defining Romantic Love : 

Defining Romantic Love Sternberg’s Theory Lee’s Colors of Love Bershied & Regan

Sternberg’s Triangle Theory of Love : 

Sternberg’s Triangle Theory of Love infatuation –passion alone, without intimacy or commitment romantic love –a combination of passion and intimacy consummate love –a combination of passion, intimacy, and commitment empty love –high commitment, low intimacy and passion companionate love –high intimacy and commitment, low passion fatuous love –high passion and commitment, low intimacy liking –high intimacy, low passion and commitment

Lee’s Color’s of Love Taxonomy : 

Lee’s Color’s of Love Taxonomy Primary Eros –Exclusivity, sexuality, sudden onset, cognitive preoccupation Storge –exclusivity, durability, affection, commitment, slow onset, growth Ludus – Nonexclusive, absence of commitment, emotional control Secondary Pragma –compatibility, emotional control Mania - sudden onset cognitive preoccupation, jealousy, possessiveness, physical distress Agape –Universal, caring altruism EROS STORGE LUDUS Mania Pragma Agape

Berschied & Regan (textbook authors) : 

Berschied & Regan (textbook authors) Passionate Love: intense emotion, feeling, and sexually charged Companionate Love: Durable, slow to develop, and infused with warmth and intimacy. Lives are intertwined and there is affectionate warmth towards each other.

Problematic Loves : 

Problematic Loves

Unrequited Passionate Love : 

Unrequited Passionate Love Baumsiter, Wotman, and Stillwell (1993) asked 71 unrequited lovers to write autobiographical accounts of their experiences. The results indicated it was associated with negative emotions for both parties. The majority of rejecters reported feeling annoyed by the unwanted advances (51%), feeling guilty about delivering rejection (61%), experience frustration, anger, and resentment (70%). 44% of the would-be suitors reported that the situation caused them to feel intense pain, suffering, and disappointment, jealousy, and anger, and frustration. They also reported positive emotions from the experience of being in love. Unrequited love is a relatively common experience for adolescents and young adults … particularly among men (Hill, Blakemore, & Drumm, 1997).

Obsession : 

Obsession Obsessive relation intrusion (ORI) is defined as repeated and unwanted pursuit and invasion of one’s sense of physical or symbolic privacy by another person either stranger or acquaintance, who desired, and/or presumes an intimate relationship. -Relations stalking among college students ranges from 20-30% with men and women equally at risk for this type of victimization. -In an ORI relationship self-disclosure is often one-sided, premature, and excessive. Familiarity is gained through violations of privacy and not self-disclosure on the other’s part.

Obsession : 

Obsession Cupach and Spitzberg (1997) counted the frequency of ORI symptoms: Repeatedly called and argued with them (73%) Asked them if they were seeing someone romantically (72%) Called and hung up without speaking (70%) Begged them for another chance (64%) Watched or stared at them from a distance (62%) Refused to hake hints that he/she was not welcome (61%) Threatening physical harm (30%) Following the target from place to place (27%) Damagining the target’s property (26%) Exposing himself/herself to the target (26%) Forcing the target to engage in sexual behavior (16%) Taking photos of target without knowledge or consent (11%) Breaking into home (8%) Sending offensive photographs (5%)

Mismatched Love Styles : 

Mismatched Love Styles Mania, the combination of eros and ludus if characterized by extreme jealousy, helpless obsession, and unhappiness. They rarely develop into lasting love. The more passionately men and women loved, the greater the level of satisfaction with the relationship. Women who loved passionately (eros) or selflessly (agape) tended to have highly satisfied partners. Women who adopted a game-playing approach to love (ludus) had less satisfied partners. Couples who had terminated their relationship after 2 months originally scored higher on ludus and lower on eros than couples who were still together.

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