Emotional Intelligence presentation (amended by DM) by Claudette Porte

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Emotional Intelligence in Business Claudette Portelli B.Psych.(Hons) D.Psych, specialised in Brief Strategic Therapy 27 th April 2011

Emotional Intelligence: 

Emotional Intelligence Emotions are our ways of “being tuned” into the world Phenomenology Philosophy Cooper & Sawaf (1997) sustain that emotions give significance or meaning to life contingencies. They support the idea that it is emotions and not reason that determine whether our abilities will eventually flourish or atrophy.

Emotional Intelligence: 

Emotions are the c o l o u r s of life, yet " what have emotions to do with business ? " Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence: 

Emotional Intelligence The early Emotional Intelligence theory was originally developed during the 1970s and 1980s by the work and writings of psychologists Howard Gardner (Harvard), Peter Salovey (Yale) and John 'Jack' Mayer (New Hampshire), rising to prominence with Daniel Goleman 's 1995 book called ' Emotional Intelligence '.

Emotional Intelligence at Work: 

Emotional Intelligence at Work E motional Intelligence is increasingly relevant to organisational development and developing people, because the Emotional Intelligence principles provide a new way to understand and assess: people's behaviours; management styles; attitudes; interpersonal skills; and potential ????.

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Emotional Intelligence at Work Emotional Intelligence is an important consideration in: human resources planning; job profiling; recruitment interviewing and selection; management development; customer relations; customer service; and more.

Emotional Intelligence: 

Emotional Intelligence The essential premise of Emotional Intelligence is that to be successful requires the effective awareness, control and management of one's own emotions, and those of other people. Emotional Intelligence embraces two spheres: self others

Emotional Intelligence & Self: 

Emotional Intelligence & Self Personal growth and self-actualisation are more often then not, hindered by a lack of emotional literacy and flexibility, which paralyses one's capabilities or even geniality . Unmanaged emotions end up tak ing control of our life, determining its outcome. “ Let the emotions be all those things on account of which people change their mind and differ in regards to their judgements ”. ( Aristotle Rhetoric 2.1 1378a 20 -3 ).

Emotional Intelligence & Others: 

Emotional Intelligence & Others An individual who holds a high Emotional Intelligence is in tune with his or her own emotions - thus such an individual is much more likely to be able to understand and sync with the emotions that impact the attitudes and behaviours of others . This is why emotional importance is so valuable even in the working place.

Emotional Intelligence: 

Emotional Intelligence Goleman identified the five 'domains' of Emotional Intelligence as: Knowing your emotions Managing your own emotions Motivating yourself Recognising and understanding other people's emotions Managing relationships, i.e. managing the emotions of others

Why Emotional Intelligence Matters?: 

Why Emotional Intelligence Matters ? By developing our Emotional Intelligence in these areas and the five Emotional Intelligence domains we can: - become more productive and successful at what we do , and - help others to be more productive and successful too .

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The process and outcomes of Emotional Intelligence development also contain many elements known to reduce stress for individuals and organisations by: decreasing conflict, improving relationships and understanding, and increasing stability, continuity and harmony. But how can we concretely improve our Emotional Intelligence? Why Emotional Intelligence Matters?

Emotions: 

Emotions joy sadness fury guilt terror love shame hatred rage jealousy embarrassment thrill envy surprise resentment helplessness omnipotence confused despair scared disappointment

Basic Sensations: 

Basic Sensations Nardone (2007) sustains that humans are enriched by various emotions, yet these all evolve from four basic components, which he identifies as sensations: Fear, Pain , Anger, Pleasure .

Basic Sensations: 

Basic Sensations Nardone sustains that all that reaches us, is filtered through our sensations and perceptions. All humans embrace all four sensations, which grow or weaken throughout our life. There is no right or wrong sensation(s), but just like the yin and yang of Chinese Taoism they intertwine continuously, becoming useful or dangerous according to how they are managed. ( Balbi, Artini, 2009 ).

Dominant Sensations: 

Dominant Sensations Basic sensations essentially influence the way we experience life, determining how we feel and how we act. Persons often react to life experiences, overwhelmed by a dominate sensation, which can be pain, fear, anger or pleasure (Nardone, 2009).

Acting Irrational: 

Acting Irrational We often try different rational ways to convince others and ourselves to react and behave differently (aggressive, fearful, overly cautious, lamentful, etc). We use valid rational argumentations to try and stop the undesired often illogical behaviour but often we end up measuring our own failure. In history we have various examples where “ the irrational wins over the rational ”.

Revealing Cues: 

Revealing Cues “ We cannot not communicate ” Watzlawick et al., (1974) Axiom of Human Communication Verbal cues Non-verbal cues

More than just to understand and empathise: 

More than just to understand and empathise If we manage to tune-in with the underlying sensation , we will be able to use the appropriate : words ( language ), and the effective means (strategy) Similia Similibus Curatur Latin saying

Tuning in: Language: 

Tuning in: Language “ Words are like bullets ” Wittgenstein Translating digital language in analogical language “ Touching the right chords ” EXERCISE

Fear – Based : 

Fear – Based I carry the wounds of the evaded battles Pessoa Only by looking fear in the face, you become courageous Islam saying

Fear – Based : 

Fear – Based Examples of fear-based behaviour: Fear of public speaking Fear of taking risks / overly cautious Compulsive checking due to fear of making mistakes Anxiety and Stress- block of performance

Strategies to Manage Emotions: 

Strategies to Manage Emotions Fear-Based Shift of attention (in critical moments) Use fear against fear (ubi maior minor cessat) Segment big objectives in small concrete macro- objectives (mountain climber technique) Worst fantasy (paradoxical i ntervention ) Allowing a small disorder that maintains order (a small lose of control to gain maximum control)

Ancient Chinese Stratagems: 

Ancient Chinese Stratagems Shift of attention: Sail the sea unknown to the sky Fear against fear: Take the enemy up the attic and remove the ladder Macro-objectives: To leave after so as to arrive before Worst fantasy: Add more wood to put out the fire Allowing a small disorder to maintain order: L ying by saying the truth

Pain - Based: 

Pain - Based The fundamental sensation of pain includes many dimensions, physical and emotional, linked to suffering, failure, mourning, and loss. PAIN CAN BECOME PARALYSING, BRINGING THE PERSON TO GIVE UP AND SURRENDER . Pain can be caused by: self others or the world “ What does not kill, renders stronger ” Nietzsche

Pain in Business: 

Pain in Business It has become extremely common to find professional attitudes or situations that are strongly conditioned by painful experiences lived in the specific context of business. It may be a sudden or unexpected dismissal , for example, related to the restructuring of a company, or the failure of a professional project in which the person invested all his emotional and economic resources, or any other event constituting a strong disappointing experience for the person with regards to his previous expectations. These are cases of people who « illude-delude » themselves, meaning that they witness the sudden collapse of projects that up until that point they had taken for granted.

Pain - Relief Strategies: 

Pain - Relief Strategies The prime logic underlying the intervention on pain is effectively expressed by Robert Frost's aphorism: “ The best way out is always through” . Thus , if avoided pain remains and increases all the more, in order to overcome it, it is necessary to dive in it and swim through it. Hence, intervening on pain means to accelerate this process, making it as quick and effective as possible. Contemplating one's mysteries Decanting the pain - chronicle of the painful situation Gallery of memories

Ancient Chinese Stratagem : 

Ancient Chinese Stratagem In order to straighten something, first I need to learn how to bend it even more Touch the bottom, to come up to the surface

Anger - Based: 

Anger - Based “What starts with anger ends up in shame” Ben Franklin ANGER-BASED BEHAVIOUR Conflictual Relationships Verbal and physical aggressiveness Loss of temper

Anger Management: 

Anger Management The best way to ride a horse is in the direction that the horse is going. Only by first aligning yourself with the direction of the horse it is possible to then slowly and deliberately steer it where you would like to go. Anger - Management Strategies Letters of anger Pulpit Conflict management: Presumed one-down position - “Killing the snake with its own poison ”. Disarming the enemy by gently asking him a favour.

Letters of Anger and Pulpit: 

Letters of A nger and Pulpit Emil Cioran in his Anathemas and Admirations (1986) declares: “ When you detest someone to the point of wanting to liquidate him, the best thing is to take a sheet of paper and to write on it any number of times that X is a bastard, a fool, a monster, and you will immediately discover that you hate him less and that you are no longer thinking quite so much about vengeance. This is more or less what I did with regard to myself and the world. I drew from my lower depths in order to insult life and insult myself. The result? I have endured myself a little better, as I have better endured life” .

Anger: Transforming Limits into Resources: 

Anger: Transforming Limits into Resources The most immediate intervention to transform destructive anger into resource is to make it outflow by channeling it. The same way as when a river swells, instead of building a dam to contain it we dig out many canals to let the water outflow.

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Anger: Transforming Limits into Resources A masterly example of this type of stratagem is given by the legend of Yu The Great, who had to deal with the cyclical problem of the periodic flooding of the Yellow River. Rather than keep building more massive embankments (as done with little results by his predecessors) he ordered that holes, trenches and canals were to be dug around the cities, where the river's waters could flow without destroying anything. Other than this, he had watermills built along the channels allowing him to use the strength of the water to grind rice and other crops. In such way Yu, who due to this intervention was named “The Great” , defeated his enemy without opposing it but rather by capturing its force and using it for beneficial tasks, in other words he created the void to make space for the full.

Conflict Management: 

Conflict Management Presumed one-down position - disarming the enemy by gently asking him a favour. We might be reluctant to ask for a favour because we are afraid this person will like us less or refuse us. Yet asking for a favour might seem to be a rather brave thing to do. If you have nothing to show from your communications or non-communications with the person, the worst thing that will happen is that you will end up with the same nothing. The small favour technique.

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Conflict Management Research reveals that people are strongly motivated to change their attitudes and perceptions in ways that are consistent with their behaviour. Performative communication – ' He who has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.' CHANGING REACTION -> CHANGES PERCEPTION (Theory of Consistency) Symmetry vs. Complementary

Ancient Chinese Stratagems: 

Ancient Chinese Stratagems Killing the serpent with its own poison Winning without fighting “ Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more .” Oscar Wilde “A man that studied revenge keeps his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well .” Francis Bacon

Pleasure - Based: 

Pleasure - Based “ It's all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back .” Mick Jagger EXAMPLES Internet dependencies Information overloading addiction On-line trading On-line gambling Workaholics Sexual harassment Power game

Pleasure: The Forbidden Fruit: 

Pleasure: The Forbidden Fruit All transgressive behaviour results to be pleasurable . “ There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.” Mark Twain

Increasing Pleasure To Kill Pleasure: 

Increasing Pleasure To Kill Pleasure “The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.” Oscar Wilde Prescribing the symptom : If prescribed it loses its transgressive pleasurable aspect Render it more pleasurable : quantity -> quality Adding in order to reduce: L ook out for more healthy pleasures to reduce the obsession .

Secondary Advantages: 

Secondary Advantages Motivating Employees: What is pleasurable for myself is not necessarily pleasurable for others! If incentives do not work?! “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man .” Mark Twain Pleasure can be obtained indirectly. Reduce secondary advantages: attention, comfort zone.

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