Magic Of Making Up

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Are you feeling misunderstood by your partner in a relationship? Millions of relationships go up in ‘flame’ e veryday, simply because one person or b oth partners do not feel understood. We s truggle to get the other person to listen and understand us. Feeling misunderstood is one of the root cause of break up in relationships. The solution to fixing the problem of feeling misunderstood in any relationship is to do the exact opposite of what is the conventional attitude. Which is first to understand the other person ... Even better to show our understanding of the other person’s point of view. Here is how to start: One way to get the ball rolling is using what was taught to me by a retired police officer. He called it a strip phrase and he said he's used it successfully in various situations from talking down suicide attempts to getting some hardened criminals to give themselves up without doing any damage. It simply, click here now for more information starts like this… ’let me see if I understand what you are saying ’ and then paraphrase what you believe their position on the matter is. Continue on slide 2 or click here now to read more

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What then invariably happens is that the other person listens and then opens up, either agreeing with what you paraphrased or correcting you. Either way, they will feel better knowing that you understand them. You keep on like this throughout the argument until you feel that the other person feels well understood, then their anger will start to subside. After that... ? Often time something interesting starts to happen Once the other person feels understood, they try to understand your position. This situation allows for both of you to find mutual ground from objective view p oint where you can work out solution together without feeling that you have c ompromised. Here is a typical example of everyday squabble that potentially leads to break up: Josh: ‘I would like us to go camping somewhere this weekend with the kids, where we can also do some fishing.’ Joan: ‘what fishing?.. We need to go and see my mother. S he told me she is ill’.

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Josh: ‘you know I love fishing, and I haven’t been for a while because you keep coming up with plans that s uits you. Besides, you never told me you mum is ill u ntil now that i suggest we go camping.’ Joan: ‘well, how can I predict that mum will be ill today’ Josh: ‘we can go and see her next week. It’s not as if she is at the point of death anyway’ Joan: ‘you say that, because she is not your mother. If your mum were to be ill you won’t be planning to go fishing, would you?’ Josh: ‘your mum called only yesterday and spoke with the kids, she did not sound ill on the phone, and she did not say she was ill either...’ Joan: ‘Are you saying am lying? I have always known that you never liked my mother anyway, which is why you never cared about her since we got married’ Josh: ‘...well, if you are have decided to go to your mum’s for the weekend, you can please yourself. As for me, I am going with the kids camping and fishing.’ Joan: ‘No! YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH THE KIDS. THEY ARE GOING TO SEE MY MUM, THEIR ILL GRANNY...!’ This argument went on and on and on. If not solved, it often lead to break up You will agree with me that argument of this nature could be detrimental relationships, just because the both do not feel understood by either one. Continue on slide 4 or click here for more information

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A happier ending of same scenario Josh: ‘Darling I would like us to go camping a nd fishing this weekend with the kids.’ Joan: ‘That would be nice, but my mother has taken ill. I planned for us to visit her at weekend with the kids’ Josh: ‘Oh, I didn’t know she was ill. Since when, as i spoke with her only yesterday’ Joan: ‘I only knew today myself. She said it s tarted last night’ Josh: ‘Oh, I hope she is ok. Should I call her to know how she is doing’? Joan: ‘That would be nice of you. If she is not too poorly, then we may do the camping , and go and visit her next weekend’ .What do you think?’ Josh: ‘yeah , otherwise, we could do the camping near her house, and we can also fish in the lake nearby’ . Joan: ‘That is a wonderful idea. That way we can get to see her as well as do our t hing too. Josh, darling, this is why I love you. You always come up with brilliant i deas ...’ Josh: ‘thanks baby. I am also lucky to be married to such a wonderful woman. Besides, your mother is like a mother to me as well.’ To learn more, click here for help with relationship problems