Neil Davidson

Slide1: 

Presents… their 3rd Annual Conference focusing on… Kindly Sponsored by…

“Delay” strategies and young men: 

'Delay' strategies and young men Are they premature?

‘Regret’ and early sex: 

‘Regret’ and early sex There is evidence to suggest fairly high levels of ‘regret’ amongst young women after first intercourse particularly where this first sex is at age 14 or under. The regret translates as ‘feeling it happened too soon’ and appears to fit with social expectations that it’ s best to wait or ‘save yourself for someone special’

The problems of early sex: 

The problems of early sex Reason for early sex in girls is being suggested as– low self -esteem alcohol, peer pressure, getting attention, think everyone else is, not able to say’ no’, to get/keep a boyfriend. Most reasons centre round a need for love, caring, affection. But not sexual desire ? There is some evidence to suggest some physical harm associated with early pregnancy, although this is related to developmental, not chronological, age and levels of nutrition etc.

The problems of early sex: 

The problems of early sex Younger teenagers are comparatively poor users of contraception and services. Early sexual debut is associated with higher rates of unplanned conception There is a consequent higher risk of STI transmission.

Delay strategies: 

Delay strategies Current programmes and messages are geared to helping young women feel ready and place sex within a wider context of what they want in their lives. Additional outcomes of delaying early sex is that it might lead to fewer unplanned conceptions and less risk of STI transmission. Delay is already part of the menu of most SRE programmes although part of the ‘delay’ appeal is that this element has been little emphasized recently.

Young men and ‘regret’: 

Young men and ‘regret’ Young men don’t appear to talk about ‘regret’ or mean the same thing when they reflect on poor early sexual experiences. For them it is more likely to be about - poor sex, being drunk, the pressure they put on a girl. For boys the reasons for having sex appear to be about fun, physical desire, the need to get it ‘done’, curiosity, feeling it makes you a ‘normal man’. If there is regret in boys then it seem to focus on low quality not that the sex shouldn’t have happened at all.

Never mind the quality…: 

Never mind the quality… Young men are dealing with a set of social expectations e.g. – being a ‘red hot lover’ 'Treat ‘em mean to keep ‘em keen' Being the ‘strong silent type’ And by the level of interpersonal skills e.g. assertiveness, ability to read signals - empathy

Ready or not here I come! -young men and the problems of early sex: 

Ready or not here I come! -young men and the problems of early sex Some young men are pressurising young women to have sex and are unable to empathize and thus see the damage this may do. Young men are having unprotected sex leading to pregnancy and STI’s thus damaging their own and young women’s physical, emotional health and life chances. Many young men lack communication skills and thus miss out on the benefits of intimate close relationships. Some young men are having ‘fast-food’, low quality sex. Seeing sex as a performance, or competition with other young men. Young men enjoy the physical aspects of sex, but because of the above they may experience less than they wish for.

Ready…?: 

Ready…? If there is damage done by early sex to both physical and emotional health then we need to be specific about what this is. Young men are practical and pragmatic. Focusing on delay is likely to be a massive –turn-off for young men and there is a danger of positioning them as sexual predators. Programmes and messages about being ‘ready’ for sex are likely to have more mileage.

Steady….: 

Steady…. Work with young men is probably best situated within a framework of sexual and relationship competence. This applies to managing risk (the negative aspects of sex) And to fulfillment (physical pleasure and emotional aspects).

Go!: 

Go! To engage young men we need to acknowledge the importance of the physical pleasures of sex (whether solo or with a partner). That some young men (or all young men some of the time) might agree with Woody Allen when he said of ‘casual’ sex that 'as empty experiences go … its’ a pretty good one' However for many young men emotional relationships are a highly desired context for sex.

Delay or readiness?: 

Delay or readiness? A common outcome for both young men and women would be qualitatively improved sexual relationships –whether short or longer term. This would encompass both physical health and emotional health. Young men cannot be peripheral to this process. If you only help young women delay until they are ready then they will still be having sex with (slightly older) young men who are still pressured by narrow social expectations and who lack sexual and relationship competencies.

Preparation: 

Preparation Let’s give young men (and young women) the tools to : Gain the knowledge they need. To learn practical relationship skills. Reflect on their values and where sex fist with these.

Quality: 

Quality If we take a positive and practical approach which considers the quality of sexual relationships we are more likely to end up with later sexual debut, and more equitable heterosexual relationships.

Slide16: 

YOUNG MEN’S CONCERNS: 

YOUNG MEN’S CONCERNS Premature ejaculation Penis size Performance anxiety Erection difficulties Relationship difficulties Communication skills Emotional health ('Stress') Fatherhood Masculinity

LEARNING TO BE A SEXUAL MAN -THE PRESSURES OF MASCULINITY: 

LEARNING TO BE A SEXUAL MAN - THE PRESSURES OF MASCULINITY We learn not to show our feelings We feel we have to prove we are men We get hooked on taking risks We learn to be independent and not seek help We develop a ‘public’ and ‘private’ face

A positive approach: 

A positive approach In the longer term we need to address the pressures arising from the limiting models of masculinity young men experience. It is important to acknowledge that whilst there are real sexual health and education difficulties for young men for many sex itself is a 'good thing' and a vitally important part of their male identity. To engage with them and involve them in responsible sexual behavior we have to understand and address this.

Starting points - Masculinity: 

Starting points - Masculinity Help them improve their relationships with each other e.g. interrupt ‘banter’. Be respectful of them as young men and the positive aspects of their masculinity. Support them to work together and develop the ability to empathise. Let them choose when to move between the personal and impersonal Interrupt the need to compete, thus making safer environments in which they can learn about sex and relationships. e.g. use team-working and harness competition. Make it safe enough to discuss their more ‘private’ experiences rather than just 'public'’ ones, thus ensuring the range of acceptable models of masculinity becomes wider.

Starting points - SRE: 

Starting points - SRE Be as positive about sex as we are at alerting them to the risks. Address young men’s concerns directly. Ensure learning about communication skills starts early. Ensure methods suit boys learning styles – a skills focus as well as reflection and knowledge. Focus on ‘solutions’ as much as ‘problems’. Make achievement tangible. Support young men and women to listen to each other.

Starting points - Services: 

Starting points - Services Need to review sexual health services to ensure that those working there are confident about working with young men. Services more likely to be trusted if there are clear links between them and those delivering SRE School (or near school) services seem to be more attractive to young men. Need to experiment with new approaches – e.g. pharmacy testing, C-card schemes, text –based information/advice services. Public health campaigns need to be targeted at young men's needs too.