absurd invention jeremy

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Absurd Inventions:

Absurd Inventions Jeremy H.p-2

Hurricane Bed:

Hurricane Bed Hurricanes and tornadoes, two of Mother Nature's most powerful forces.  They can rip your home to shreds, and you need a safe place to hide.  So our wind resistant inventor devised his own little sardine can, the Hurricane Bed!  This giant safety drawer features sturdy steal beams that are bolted to the floor.  When you get wind of high winds, don your best smoking jacket and climb on in.  There's a heavy duty latch for a total drawer lockdown, although safety belts are not included.  This idea could work wonderfully well if we weren't completely claustrophobic.  And don't forget your blanket.

Keg Head:

Keg Head Do you earn to be the life of the party, the person that everyone wants to hang out with?  Is being the center of attention your deepest desire?  If so, then you need the Keg Head!  This new indispensable dispenser of your favorite beverage is part hat and part keg, combined for your pleasure.  Once the party begins, prepare to position yourself near the front door so you can greet thirsty guests with a big smile and a cool, quenching drink.

Earthquake House:

Earthquake House Big earthquakes can shake a house apart, possibly causing serious injury to it's occupants.  But our forward thinking inventor has a solution, the roll-with-the-punches Earthquake House!  His idea is simple, build a round house that has earthquake sensors built into it.  If the Richter sensors signal the big one (earthquake that is), the house is automatically released from it's tether lines, it's anchors and it's utility lines, allowing it to freely roll wherever the shaking sends it.  It's like Mother Nature's giant bowling ball.  Don't worry, the big biosphere has a self righting inner living structure so you always remain upright, even if you're uptight about your house rolling through the neighborhood. We don't recommend this for a hillside home and we have concerns about your house rolling over your neighbors house or maybe even your neighbors, because there aren't any brakes to stop it!

Electro Fishing:

Electro Fishing Man has fished for fish for thousands of years.  From the early days when he used sharpened bones as hooks, to present day where we have hi-tech fish finders and thousands of lures to choose from.  The thrill of a hooked fish, fighting for his freedom, tugging your fishing pole... it just doesn't get any better than that.  That is, unless you like to see your fish float belly up after giving them a massive electrical shock!   With the Electro Shock Fishing Wand, you can now wade out into your favorite fishing spot and drop your electrode into the water, causing 1,000 volts of electricity to surge through your victims.

Milk Gun:

Milk Gun Hey, what do you get when you cross a baby's bottle with a calking gun?  The accurate yet asinine Milk Gun, designed to feed your baby milk and flowable foods at the touch of a trigger!  You load this thing like a cookie dough dispenser and then try to coax baby to latch on to the nipplish -like feeding tip (# 26).  While the wee one is staring down the barrel of your super-sized squirt gun, simply pull the trigger to start calking, er , we mean to feed the flowing food to your burping bambino.  What's that you say... angel face would prefer to cry rather than eat right now?  No problemo !  Next time your little cherub's mouth is open and crying, take careful aim and quickly squirt some milk into her cute kisser.


Credits Jeremy H. designer Inventions totallyabsurd.com

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