Divorce Thoughts

Are you scared about your own divorce thoughts? : 

Are you scared about your own divorce thoughts? Things worth to consider:

HistoryThe beginning of a relationship can be very revealing: what was the most important aspect of your partner?What did you fall in love with?Is it still attractive, or working?Do you still enjoy this part of your partner? : 

HistoryThe beginning of a relationship can be very revealing: what was the most important aspect of your partner?What did you fall in love with?Is it still attractive, or working?Do you still enjoy this part of your partner? Then? Now?

Priorities, ValuesSimilarities and differences can help or undermine relationship. What are they? : 

Priorities, ValuesSimilarities and differences can help or undermine relationship. What are they? Mine My partner’s Are they reconcilable? Are they antagonistic? What is necessary or missing to adjust them?

List as many things about your partner as you can!Sort them into two category: likes/dislikes!Count them! Which category has more in it?Another version: order value to every each!For example; hate when snoring in a -10 to +10 scale: -8!Count the values: are they negative or positive?Keep in mind: you cannot expect personality traits to change, while you can ask certain actions or behavior to change. : 

List as many things about your partner as you can!Sort them into two category: likes/dislikes!Count them! Which category has more in it?Another version: order value to every each!For example; hate when snoring in a -10 to +10 scale: -8!Count the values: are they negative or positive?Keep in mind: you cannot expect personality traits to change, while you can ask certain actions or behavior to change. What I like in him/her: What I don’t like in him/her: Likes and Dislikes

Slide 5: 

Actions, behavior, what you’d like your partner to change. specific actions rules limits habits communication style attention time spent together If you decide to speak about it, speak respectfully!

Slide 6: 

What hurts or resentments you would like to talk about with your partner? calm, assertive way use “me messages” (I felt like…) avoid blaming or attacking your partner speak respectfully Tell him/her what hurts you! If you cannot speak about it, write a letter! (No text message!)

Slide 7: 

What’s the nature of your differences? Basic priorities, values? Simple likes, dislikes? Certain actions, behaviors? Are they bearable? Are they changeable? What actions necessary for change? What skills do you need to make changes?

Slide 8: 

What else do you need to make a good decision? Communication skill? Conflict resolution? Stress management? Ability to relax? Clear head, common sense? Emotional support? Learn it! Ask for it! Good Luck! Zita Fekete, Copyright 2010 http://SoundSoulCounseling.com