10 Mental barriers to let go of

Thank you for your reply to my rant, by the way. You had no reason to be kind after such rudeness on my part, and I appreciate that you were. In future, I think I'll reserve my comments for when I'm in a much more centered frame of mind.

You're right. My comment really was pretty bitter and harsh, and I actually regret having posted it. Especially the bit about the 8th graders. I do apologize. But I don't feel any differently about a little guilt being healthy. I really think that guilt (or the desire to avoid feeling guilty) keeps us honest at times when the simple desire to do the right thing isn't strong enough. It keeps us from repeating bad choices if we didn't get caught the first time. I think Tiger Woods could have used a healthy dose of guilt after indiscretion #1: it might have saved his marriage and his career. With regard to loss, many of us who have suffered the loss of a loved one would agree that the loss of the person themselves does hurt (not just the emotional attachment we had to that person, without which there could be no sense of loss in the first place), and probably will forever. When something happens that I want to share with my sister, my first thought is to pick up the telephone. I still have to remind myself that she isn't there to answer, and she died more than four years ago. It hurts me just to know that she isn't there, even when I don't want to talk to her. Pain changes and lessens over time; gaping wounds do heal, but they often leave scars that never go away. I just think it's too simplistic to address the issue of loss as something that one should strive to let go of. I think that with the loss of a loved one, pain seems to have to let go of you.

Thanks for your input...although a bit on the bitter and harsh. Risa, I would love to hear exactly your opinion of what guilt really accomplishes and what positive function does it have. I believe that would be enlightening for me. I think you are mixing up the negative feeling of guilt with having actually done something wrong which you can eventually correct. The latter is something you can act upon the former is just a useless downer. Think about it. Regarding slide 21 & 22, the point is this: When we lose something and our heart aches, it is not the loss itself that hurts us but the emotional and subjective weight we attach to that loss. If this was not so then everyone would feel the same way about losing something or anyone would always feel the same all his life for something he has lost years ago. Clearly this is not so since one may feel really heart-broken and another person unaffected by the same experience. This shows that it is purely subjective and a self-created illusion. Lastly, I feel really happy to know that 8th graders can express themselves so brilliantly. This restores my faith in the future.