Shutta Crum Sound Shape Sense 2017

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Shutta Crum's 2017 presentation for FL-SCBWI. Sound, Shape & Sense: The Work of Our Words.

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Sound , Shape , and Sense The Work of O ur Words

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Sound! “ We made love like flamingoes are pink. The lights were off, so I couldn’t actually see what color the flamingoes were, but they sounded pink.” Jarond Kintz , This Book is NOT FOR SALE “I grew up hearing words like snakeroot, sassafras, mullein— Things that had wondrous, mysterious sounds in the names.” Jan Karon

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“We have as many planes of speech as does a painting planes of perspective which create perspective in a phrase. The most important word stands out most vividly defined in the foreground of the sound plane. Less important words create a series of deeper planes.” Constantin Stanislavski (Russian actor/director)

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Creating a soundscape : Rhyme Alliteration Onomatopoeia Meter Hyperbole & Understatement Word Choice Perfect Word Choice s Background color

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this THE WITCH OF WILLOWBY WOOD by Rowena Bennett There once w as a w itch of W illowby W ood, and a w eird w ild w itch w as she, with hair that was snarled and hands that were gnarled , and a kickety, rickety knee. She could jump, they say, to the moon and back, but this I never did see. . . A B C B Metrical verse There once was a witch of Willowby Wood, and a weird wild witch was she, with hair that was snarled and hands that were gnarled, and a kickety, rickety knee. She could jump, they say, to the moon and back, but this I never did see. . . Free verse

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A Dreamer’s Green . . . Green , a word that sailors dream ; the dim unwindings of Flemished rope, a g lint, a g leam, a g rin, and then — —the rakish tilt of verdant brim, the sheen of velvet cape and glove, the hand un seen that belays the barque. Green past islands of kelp-hung dark, up silvered s lope of rung and rope, a ladder’s a beam a listing moon snagged in the arms of a drifting dream . And green, the moon’s a waiting ark. Shutta Crum Uses: Internal/slant rhyme, alliteration, w ord choice (old-fashioned, dreamy words). Uneven end rhyme. No meter. up silvered slope of rung and rope Flemished verdant v elvet Kelp-hung

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Galoshes   Susie's galoshes Make splishes and sploshes And slooshes and sloshes As Susie steps slowly along in the slush.   They stamp and they tramp On the ice and the concrete They get stuck in the muck and the mud: But Susie likes much best to hear   The slippery slush As it slooshes and sloshes, And splishes and sploshes All around her galoshes! Rhonda Bacmeister Internal rhymes, alliteration and lovely onomatopoeia with r eversed end words (rhymes) f or first and last stanzas.

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Onomatopoeia, assonance, consonance

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Creating a moodsc ape

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Using vowel sounds to create mood .

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[IN JUST] by e. e. cummings in Just- spring          when the world is mud- luscious the little lame balloonman   whistles          far          and wee   and eddieandbill come running from marbles and piracies and it's spring   when the world is puddle-wonderful   the queer old balloonman whistles far          and             wee and bettyandisbel come dancing   from hop-scotch and jump-rope and   it's spring and           the                      goat-footed balloonMan           whistles far and wee

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Vowel sounds in “IN JUST” by e.e . cummings. goat-footed balloonMan Almost all of the vowels up here.

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Word Choice ( through power revising) facilitates mood. shout “I sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world.” Walt Whitman, Song of Myself #52 Emotional aspect growl yawp wail

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Understatement & Hyperbole

Don’t Underestimate Understatement!:

Don’t Underestimate Understatement ! I loved my friend He went away from me There's nothing more to say The poem ends, Soft as it began- I loved my friend. Langston Hughes There is power in simplicity.

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Alliterative Titles

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Prose, too, must have music.

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Mantra When I am sad I s ing , remember ing the redw ing blackbird's clack . Then I want no th ing except to turn time back to what I had before love made me sad. When I forget to w eep , I hear the p eep ing tree toads cr eep ing up the bark. Love lies asl eep and dreams that everything is in its golden net ; and I am caught there, too, when I for get . Ruth Stone Internal rhyme. Some end rhyme, but no set pattern (reads more like internal rhyme). No meter. The “too” with the caesura around it! Vowel sound is significant, pulls the author and the reader in together.

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Da, da, da—DUM! Grr . . . My meter isn’t w orking!!!!

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Meter Chart & Poem from WESTERN WIND* by John Frederick Nims     Types of metric feet – and a poem, titled: “ Nineteen .”     Pyrrhic: u u o f the Spondee: / / old loves Tribrach : u u u of a re- Molo′ssos : / / / -mote lost land IAMB: u / recalled TROCHEE: / u always ANAPEST: u u / in a dream DACTYL: / u u mournfully Ba′cchius : u / / the closed door Antiba′cchius : / / u too rudely Amphi′macer : / u / overgrown Amphibrach: u / u remembers Ionic a minore : u u / / and the lost love Cho′riamb : / u u / only recalled Antispast : u / / u in dreams fading First Paeon : / u u u mournfully as 2nd Paeon : u / u u as mournfully 3rd Paeon : u u / u and as mournful- 4th Paeon : u u u / - ly as the dark       (Note: the four types in caps & underlined are the most common in English.)     * The Western Wind. Nims , John Frederick. McGraw-Hill, various editions.

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Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me.... I once was lost but now am found, Was blind, but now, I see. John Newton —Amazing Grace Because I could not stop for Death, He kindly stopped for me; The Carriage held but just Ourselves And Immortality. Emily Dickinson —from Poems, series 1. O beautiful for spacious skies, For amber waves of grain, For purple mountain majesties Above the fruited plain! Katherine Lee Bates —America the Beautiful Red Angus gazed into her eyes. His heart began to warm. In Moo he’d seen his dairy queen and now he must reform. Lisa Wheeler —Sailor Moo

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 Lisa Wheeler achieved a gut-deep recognition with the rhythms of Sailor Moo: Cow at Sea (Atheneum, 2002. Illus. by Ponder Goembel.) by using a metrical pattern with which we have long been familiar. She used the common/ballad measure (rhyming aBcB ) which has alternating lines of iambic (soft-hard beat) tetrameter and iambic trimeter. (4 beat lines of iambs alternating with 3 beat iambic lines.) u / u / u / u / Red Ang - gus gazed in - to her eyes u / u / u / His heart be - gan to warm. u / u / u / u / In Moo he’d seen his dair - y queen u / u / u / And now he must re – form. A- mer i - ca the beau- ti - ful God shed his grace on thee A- maz - ing grace, how sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me

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Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me.... I once was lost but now am found, Was blind, but now, I see. John Newton Because I could not stop for Death, He kindly stopped for me; The Carriage held but just Ourselves And Immortality. Emily Dickinson O beautiful for spacious skies, For amber waves of grain, For purple mountain majesties Above the fruited plain! Katherine Lee Bates Red Angus gazed into her eyes. His heart began to warm. In Moo he’d seen his dairy queen and now he must reform. Lisa Wheeler NOTE: 1 st line . . .

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4 Anapests: UU / UU / UU / UU / . “So they USED the blue PAINT in the LAST room to DO .” Repetitions of a napests make the lines dance .

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Soundscape Moodscape

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Concrete elements (Outline, white space, sentence length.) Caesura Enjambment Word choice Landscape Shape

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I was named after a stick. The way Mom tells it, she couldn’t get Dad to agree on any names: Ellen, after Grandma? Sally after Dad’s great aunt in Michigan? No, he wanted something modern, something meaningful. It will come to us, Dad kept saying. Let’s hope it comes before the baby learns to walk, said Mom. Always does, said Dad. That’s how they argue, each knows what they want, but neither seems to think it matters much who wins. Since Mom gives in before Dad most of the time, Dad gets his way a lot. He told me that just before I was born, he found a small stand of diamond willow and brought home one stick. That’s it! Let’s name our baby Diamond Willow! Mom had to think about it for a few days. I can see it now: They’re on the airplane flying to Anchorage. Mom’s in labor, she’ll agree to almost anything. Okay, she says. So Dad puts Diamond Willow on my birth certificate, and then Mom says, We will call the baby Willow.

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[Buffalo Bill 's] by E. E. Cummings Buffalo Bill ’s defunct                who used to                ride a watersmooth-silver                                                       stallion and break onetwothreefourfive pigeonsjustlikethat                                                                                Jesus he was a handsome man                                       and what i want to know is how do you like your blue-eyed boy Mister Death Caesura & Enjambment

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slide skim scud glissade Physical aspect Word Choice glissade Skim scud

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Sense (the sensual) “Have you ever heard a blindfolded octopus unwrap a cellophane-covered bathtub?” (Norton Juster) Word Choice Imagery Metaphor & Simile Personification

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s urprise bedazzle awe flabbergast “Pardon, old father, my mistaking eyes, that have been so bedazzled with the sun that everything I look on seemeth green.” Shakespeare, Taming of the Shrew Cultural aspect Word Choice

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dress bedeck t oss on clothe “And wild- scatter'd cowslips bedeck the green dale .” Robert Burns Word Choice Historical aspect

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A DANDELION F OR MY MOTHER by Jean Nordhaus How I loved those spiky suns, rooted stubborn as childhood in the grass, tough as the farmer’s big-headed children—the mats of yellow hair, the bowl-cut fringe. How sturdy they were and how slowly they turned themselves into galaxies, domes of ghost stars barely visible by day, pale cerebrums clinging to life on tough green stems.   Like you. Like you, in the end.   If you were here, I’d pluck this trembling globe to show how beautiful a thing can be a breath will tear away. Love Poem by Robert Bly When we are in love, we love the grass, And the barns, and the lightpoles, And the small main streets abandoned all night . Imagery!

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Children in a Field Angela Shaw They don’t wade in so much as they are taken. Deep in the day, in the deep of the field, every current in the grasses whispers hurry hurry , every yellow spreads its perfume like a rumor, impelling them further on. It is the way of girls. It is the sway of their dresses in the summer trance- light , their bare calves already far-gone in green. What songs will they follow? Whatever the wood warbles, whatever storm or harm the border promises, whatever calm . Let them go. Let them go traceless through the high grass and into the willow- blur , traceless across the lean blue glint of the river, to the long dark bodies of the conifers, and over the welcoming threshold of nightfall.

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"The Lesson" — Billy Collins In the morning when I found History snoring heavily on the couch, I took down his overcoat from the rack and placed its weight over my shoulder blades. It would protect me on the cold walk into the village for milk and the paper and I figured he would not mind, not after our long conversation the night before. How unexpected his blustering anger when I returned covered with icicles, the way he rummaged through the huge pockets making sure no major battles or English queen had fallen out and become lost in the deep snow . Music Music— A naked woman Running mad through the pure night! By Juan Ramon Jimenez Personification

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Only one cell in the frozen hive of night is lit, or so it seems to us: this Vietnamese café, with its oily light, its odors whose colorful shapes are like flowers. Laughter and talking, the tick of chopsticks. Beyond the glass, the wintry city creaks like an ancient wooden bridge. A great wind rushes under all of us. The bigger the window, the more it trembles. Ted Kooser Understatement, word choice, alliteration. Imagery that appeals to all five senses!

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Sound , Shape , and Sense Aaaaaa Rhyme Alliteration Assonance Consonance Caesura Enjambment Imagery Personification Onomatopoeia Metaphor & Simile Hyperbole U nderstatement Meter Visual aspects

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