Effective Communication workshop

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Presentation Transcript

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Effective Communication Workshop October 2, 2009 Facilitator: RHEA B. NATIVIDAD

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Participant Introductions 1. Form pairs. 2. Exchange the following information: What is your full name? Where were you born and raised? What’s your favorite food? What are your goals for this workshop? Other interesting things about yourself. 3. Introduce your partner to the whole class and include your partner’s goals.

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Getting to Know You Assertive vs. Aggressive

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Assertive vs. Aggressive Assertiveness is positive. Assertiveness conveys influence. Assertiveness allows progress and direction. Aggression is negative. Aggression displays anger. Aggression creates hostility and roadblocks.

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Five Principles of Effective Communication Listen effectively. Respond appropriately. Read body language. Ask questions to clarify. Seek common ground.

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1. Listen Effectively Focus on the speaker. Shut out internal/external noise. Listen without bias. Affirm and acknowledge statements. Don’t interrupt.

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2. Respond Appropriately Ask open-ended questions. Repeat and reflect. Don’t judge. Be aware of your own biases. Be courteous.

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3. Read Body Language Be aware of your own body language. Look for body language that conflicts with the verbal message. Respond to changes in body posture. Model positive body language.

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Basics of Body Language Be present with your whole body Extend an open invitation to conversation. Acknowledge messages from others. Mirror; don’t mimic.

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Basics of Body Language Tightly folded arms and crossed feet: Skeptical/defensive* Chin stroking: Making a decision Fist on cheek, index finger pointing upward: Listening with interest Hands clasped at chin, elbows on table: Defensive/evaluating Rubbing hands together: Excitement/optimism Hand over mouth: Skepticism, evaluation, or suppressing deceit Chewing tips of fingers: Anxiety * This language is also used when the person is feeling cold, so be cautious with your interpretation.

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4. Ask Questions to Clarify Focus on the topic. Begin with “how” or “what.” Remember that “why” can cause defensiveness. Clarify the feeling behind the words. Use the speaker’s words.

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5. Seek Common Ground Use similar verbal and body language. Respect and reflect. Seek a win–win solution. Check that all parties understand. Compromise is better than conflict.

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Recognize that listening is not simply waiting for your turn to talk. Listening Is a Choice Decide that you want to listen. Listen with a clean slate. Clean your filter regularly.

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Basics of Listening Five Levels Ignoring Pretending Selective Attentive Empathic/Active Seek to Understand Listen to understand Clarify the message Be understood Be open to other points of view Know your agenda

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Principles of Active/Empathic Listening Repeat. This shows you are paying attention. Rephrase. Think about the other person’s agenda. Reflect. Respond to both message and feelings. Rephrase and reflect. Build trust.

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To clarify understanding To gain more information To move toward the answer/action/solution Why Rephrase?

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Your Voice Reflects Your Listening Listen to what is and is not said. Respond first to the feeling, then to the content. Be aware of your emotional involvement. Remember that the same statement can have several interpretations. Your attitude comes across. Be mindful in your word choice and emphasis. Avoid sexist, racist, and other inappropriate words. Treat others with dignity and respect.

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Vocal Emphasis “ I didn’t steal your cow yesterday"

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Consider this: It’s not what you say ; it’s how you say it. Use simple language. Watch your grammar. Avoid jargon, slang, and acronyms. Remember that 40 percent of the success of communication is in the oral delivery.

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Use of Voice and Language “Speech is the mirror of the soul” (Socrates). Vocal energy is vital for engaging an audience. Audiences absorb a message 10 – 15 words behind the speaker’s delivery.

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Exercises for Excellence Strengthen your voice. Exercise your vocal cords. Learn to breathe. Relax your body.

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Billy Button bought a buttered biscuit The painted pomp of pleasure's proud parade Like clocks, like locks Drowsy tinklings lull the distant folds Red leather, yellow leather A library literally littered with contemporary literature Katy caught a naughty kitten Helen heard the horses' hooves from her home on the hill Last night the cows prowled around the yard Dance past the last barn Park your car in Harvard yard Tongue Twisters

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YOU Messages and I Messages “You” Message You really wrecked the project when you took over. I can’t believe you did that. You don’t even care about the success of this project. “I” Message I feel very upset about the direction the project has taken since you took over. I am really upset about the decision you made. I feel disappointed because it seems you’re not concerned about the success of the project.

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The Johari Window(Developed by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham)

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Conflict Resolution Four Steps to Resolution: Define : the problem Clarify : key players and expectations Identify : action steps for resolution Resolve : by taking the steps

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Conflict Resolution:The Three “A’s” Acknowledge Apologize Act

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Conflict Resolution:Reacting to Difficult Personalities 1. AGGRESSIVE: Listen carefully. Avoid arguing. Be formal. Use the person’s name. Be clear with your responses. 2. UNDERMINING: Focus on the issues and don’t acknowledge sarcasm. Don’t overreact.

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Conflict Resolution:Reacting to Difficult Personalities 3. UNRESPONSIVE : Ask open-ended questions. Be silent and wait for responses. Be patient and positive. 4. EGOIST : Make sure you know the facts. Agree when possible. Ask questions and listen. Disagree only when you “know” you are right.

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END OF THE WORKSHOP Thank you for participating!

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